Holy vampire sex! This porno manages to be both laughably corny and super hot at the same time. If you ever want anyone to take your film even remotely seriously, do not use fast forward as a special effect. Ever. It’s just bad. However, if you want to redeem your cheesy porno making ass, feature brunette hotties like Sophia Santi, Tabitha Stevens and Ashlyn Rae. I will forgive you for your bad choices, but I’ll still laugh at you.
A couple on a road trip and a gaggle of vampires in the desert make up the Vampire Sex Diaries. There is dialogue and plot that takes itself a bit too seriously, but keeps you occupied in between the sex scenes. I could give you a synopsis of this movie, but that would just be boring. Instead, I’ll give you this:
The good: The vampire ladies in this porno are seriously fun to look at, especially if you like long haired brunettes with long lean bodies. (NOT that any and all varieties aren’t fun to look at.) More specifically, the hot vampire lesbian threeway in scene 4 makes this porno totally watchable. A strap-on dildo and plenty of cunnilingus do you just right. Yay for dark girl on girl sexin’!
The not so good: The use of super speed fast forward. I get that they were going to for that wild demonic vampire sex thing, but it was more funny than anything. I’m all for intentional comedy in porn, but I’m pretty sure that isn’t what these folks were going for. Not to worry, it isn’t used in all the sex scenes. You definitely get some good real time fucking in the mix.
If you like vampire sex and aren’t afraid of a little corn in your porn, give this one a watch. Yep, I just made a rhyme.
There is no denying that we are inundated with vampires these days. I’ll be the first to admit that I need my True Blood fix on a weekly basis. I must say, Vampire Sisters from the always amazing Bleu Productions by no means beats the proverbial dead horse. The performers, camera work, setting and music work together to create an experience that I’m not sure I have to vocabulary to explain, but I’ll do my best to get the job done. It isn’t often that I truly immerse myself into a porno. Sure, I get into them, take them for what they are, whether it a silly parody, a soft core lesbian flick, a dirty ass Belladonna movie, etc. But, it is rare that I’m drawn in to a porno in the same way I get drawn into an amazing modern dance piece or one of Beethoven’s works. You know, that high art shit. Vampire Sisters drew me in, captivated me and held my attention from start to finish. No fast forward necessary.
The premise is a bit taboo-esque, as Anastasia Pierce and Ariel X are indeed sisters. They’re “vampire sisters” so that makes it okay, right? I’m at peace with that logic. Anastasia welcomes her younger sister in the world of vampirism through kissing, touching, flogging and the like. It is less about the story and more about the feeling created throughout the story along with the darkness and beauty that emerges from it. From a surface point of view, one may take it as overdramatic (perhaps the same way my review reads), but if you let yourself in you become mesmerized.
The older vamp sis/ new younger vamp sis relationship lends itself to the dominant/ submissive roles. In the opening scene, we get to watch Anastasia caress and kneed Ariel’s flesh, pussy and nipples until we see her fangs and she begins to bite, penetrating her breasts and throat. Blood flows from both areas and covers Anastasia’s mouth. Who doesn’t like a little blood in their vampire porn? Ariel’s long lean body writhes and undulates. She gets a taste of Anastasia and bloody kisses lead us into the next scene.
We get to watch Ariel X’s bottom and back turn bright red as she gets spanked, flogged and vampire glove-d. She is kind enough to drag the flogger across her pussy when it gets too intense. A crop gets thrown into the mix, but is most interesting when used as a bit. Ariel bites down on it in pleasure and pain as she gets hot red wax dripped on her and we hear her moans escalate. So hot.
The movie comes to a close with a passionate fuck in which Anastasia Pierce receives at least some of the action. The mouth to mouth/ nipple/ vag close-ups are just stunning. I had to mention this because I’m not sure I stressed how visually pleasing this movie was. The chemistry was off the charts, but the artfulness made this movie so easy and enjoyable to watch. Maria Beatty has stated, “my films delight in the playful relationship between pleasure and pain”. While I have made an attempt to talk about Vampire Sisters, this statement really describes her work to a tee.
Just when I thought that we had exhausted the supply of hot Halloween porn over the past few years, I stumbled upon this super sexy flick from Television X – The Vampires! I don’t know much about this studio, but after a little research and checking this one out, it’s pretty obvious I need to know more because they’re putting out some high-end stuff.
Anyways, back to the blood suckers, The Vampires is a well-shot production that obviously had a pretty decent budget. I’ve seen a billion vampire-themed pornos that apparently only have $5 to spend because the only clue you’re dealing with the un-dead are a few pairs of plastic fangs and some red lipstick. I love that director Kendo set out to make a more realistic (?) film with great settings and a nice wardrobe.
I love the way this movie started – Renee Richards is reading a book that is obviously pretty hot because before long she’s on her pack and touching herself. I super love that the book is right next to her the whole time! Anyways, it’s a pretty seductive solo scene and a great way to get the viewer in the mood. After a bit, Lolly Badcock comes in and ravishes Richards. There’s a lot of oral, fingering and the girls eventually break out a black dildo. It’s a lot of fun and really well shot. At first I worried the scene would be a bit too dark, but you don’t miss a think thanks to good lighting and camera work.
If you’re looking for a little boy/girl action, it was the fourth scene that stood out for me. Mick Blue and Diana Doll go at it in a candle lit dungeon for twenty minutes. Doll is a gorgeous blond with a really hot body that’s highlighted by her lingerie. The scene would sound pretty standard if I were to list off the sex acts, but the performers are really passionate and capture the mood perfectly.
Overall, this is a really nice production that should please those of you who are looking for a little XXX starring the walking dead.
Every year we go all out for Halloween highlighting our favorite scary pornos on the site. We’ve got some really great reviews in store this week as we lead up to one of our favorite holidays, but I thought today would be a great opportunity to remind you about movies we’ve loved in years past.
The XXXorcist: This movie is everything a Halloween porno should be and stars Joanna Angel! It’s totally gross and pretty freaking hilarious. I also highly recommend Burning Angel’s Re-Penetrator because no one can touch the BA crew when it comes to this porno genre.
Zombie Nation: I just watched a really great movie from Television X, The Vampires, but this one is for those of you who prefer zombies. Kendo, the director, is impressive as he manages to create a hot flick that combines common mythology with sexy fucking! This was one of JD’s favorite XXX horror flicks last year and one you should definitely check out!
The Inquisition Volume 8 – Dungeon Of Pain: I’m going to start by saying this hardcore BDSM is NOT for everyone. FrzKey put it best when she said “Scary acts, in a location that’s strikes fear and loathing into most everyone’s heart.” However, if you’re looking for a rough film where women are truly pushed to their limits to celebrate the season, this is one to check out. In fact, there’s a whole series of dark films for you to enjoy!
The Killer Hot Robot: Warning: This is probably the most ridiculous movie we offer on our site. It’s not scary, but it is about robots and not everyone wants to be scared this time of year. If you want a good laugh or to learn how to be a super awesome robot so you can impress your friends at a party, you NEED to see this movie. I really wish everyone would.
Ladies Of The Night – Les Vampyres: Maria Beatty is one of my favorite directors. It doesn’t matter if she’s shooting slow and seductive art films or fast and furious fucking, she is always on. You don’t want to miss these two women as they tease and torture their captive before finally giving into their desires and drinking from her. It’s super hot and the perfect flick for all of you who love to watch gorgeous girls get it on.
Happy Humpday! Welcome to the midweek stretch. It’s the first full week of September and just so happens to be the start of the Jewish New Year this evening. Shanah Tovah! So many things to celebrate today! So let’s get to it!
It is awesome when real life meets porno life meets tv life! And that Anna Paquin knows the difference between the soft focus movies of skinamax and hardcore porn! Also that porn always makes a fabulous gift. Early Christmas shoppers take note!
I just finished watching the first season of Tru Blood, so I had to check out this parody from New Sensations. I have to say I wasn’t sure that the porno version could compete with the sex scenes in the real show, which are super hot, but full blown sex scenes win out over thirty seconds of hardcore cable approved fucking without a doubt.
We open up a hot scene starring Maryann (played by Vanessa Naughty) and Johnny Castle. This is my first exposure to Naughty, but she’s someone I’ll keep an eye out after seeing her handle Castle’s cock like a champ. He drills her from below, behind and every which way until he explodes on her chest. That’s when things get interesting because this is a porno with a plot! After they’re done, Maryann starts asking about Sookie but Castle doesn’t know anything. She’s not happy and before you know it Castle is lying on the floor with a bloody mess where his cock used to be.
One of the highlights for me was finally watching Tara get served by Jason Stackhouse. If there’s one thing that girl needs, it’s a grade A fucking and who better to serve it up than the boy she’s crushed on for years! Tara is played by Misty Stone, who is fantastic and I imagine Tru Blood fans are going to love seeing this played out in porno land.
The final scene between Sookie and Bill (Ashlynn Brooke & James Deen) really puts the exclamation point on a great spoof and ends with a bang – or at least a load to the face! The only thing that would be better is an Anna Paquin/Stephen Moyer sex tape scandal…
Overall, this is a must see for fans of the show and one I think just about anyone would enjoy. It’s fun, sexy and a little gory – what more could a fang banger ask for?
BTW – James Deen is in every single parody ever. I mean, he’s awesome, so it’s fantastic, but he must be a busy dude.
It took me a while, but I finally broke down and did it. I read “Twilight.” And I loved it. No shame in my game. Yes, I am a 27 year old woman that thoroughly enjoyed a teen novel. That’s just how I roll. Obviously I saw the movie too. How could I not? That said, it’s pretty self explanatory why I would jump at the chance to watch the porno parody. I am officially a fan. No, I’m not giggly and swooning over sparkle vampires and all that jazz, but taking a fun story to another, more perverse level – well, that makes me swoon.
Before anything else, you need to know that this porn-ified version will give you no insight into the story if you don’t know it already. To “get” any of the plot, you need to have read the book or at least have seen the movie trailer. Ok, so you don’t give a crap about that and are here for the fucking? Wonderful, cause there is lots of hot vamp action going on in this fantasy fuck fest – no reading required. Read the rest of this entry »
Just when I thought that there wasn’t another possible way to integrate vamp culture into society, I stumble upon Fleshlight’s latest offering – the Succu Dry!
I know JD highlighted Tantus’ Vamp Dildo a while back, but I’m sure many of you were left wondering, “what about the goth tops?” Not everyone wants to get drilled by a creature of the night – some of us would rather feed our meat to a fanged femme fatale! Well, worry no more my friends.
Succu Dry’s unique Vampire mouth opening isn’t for the faint of heart. This exclusive Undead pale sleeve color is made from the same patented Real Feel Super Skin material that’s made Fleshlight the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. The amazingly detailed vampire mouth and fangs beg you to drive your wooden stake deep inside.
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