Music lovers rejoice! OhMiBod’s NaughtiNano might be the best thing to happen to music technology since the iPod. For those of you who like to incorporate music into every aspect of your life, you can now sync your iPod with this vibe and rock out with your cock out.
If you haven’t heard about this toy yet, this vibe transforms the rhythm of your selected track into a vibration pattern. You can plug it into your iPod, cell phone or even an electric guitar, and get down and dirty to your favorite songs.
I grabbed my ghetto shuffle and settled in for a night of music appreciation. I have to admit I surprised at how accurate this thing is. I guess I tried not to get my hopes up, but it really does vibe to the beat of whatever you’re listening to. It’s pretty damn cool. My only complaint is that in between songs, the vibe does nothing, which can be a bit of a buzzkill. Also, and this is by no means a bad thing, this is a toy that you need to set aside some time for. It won’t take you from zero to earth-shattering orgasm in minutes. It’s something that will get you where you’re trying to go, but over the course of an album, not a song.
Nerve.com recently posted their list of the 50 Sexiest Music Videos of all time. I was pleased, because I like lists and it’s totally diverse, I mean God-des and She, D’Angelo, and Billy Idol on the same list! Fantastic.
I didn’t agree with everything, but lists are always hit or miss. For example, I wouldn’t put J. Geils Band’s “Centerfold” in my top 8,000 but they have it at #2? I watched it and i’m pretty sure I won’t be turned on for at least 24 hours by anything after watching that skinny dude dance awkwardly for 3 minutes.
One video I was shocked not to see included was Rilo Kiley’s “The Moneymaker.” It has porn stars, including Tommy Gunn, in it, but they pale in comparison to Jenny Lewis. Her voice makes my belly feel weird and she’s never looked better than she does in this video. For a while I was under the impression that the golf club she’s holding at one point was a riding crop, and I felt a little weak in the knees for the former child star. Check it out and then spend a little time reminiscing about the time when you could watch music videos on television…
The sex community has been talking about The Wet Spots for a while and with good reason. This husband and wife team bill themselves as “Sophisticated Sex Comedy,” and their cabaret show might be the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. Here’s their ode to a person we’ve all depended on at some point, The booty call.
Oh, and they’re Canadian. Just another example of something awesome from Canada. Other awesome things include, but are not limited to the following:
Trivial Pursuit With a Rough Tongue - The best erotica collection ever
Toques
Robin Sparkles
Pamela Anderson
Wolverine
Oh, and people like to think Canadians aren’t very tough, but they play hockey. Plus the US invaded Canada and failed. Twice.
Anyways, hope you like The Wet Spots! They’re super funny and pretty darn talented.
So I just got back from Vegas last week where Joanna Angel performed her song “Rock & Roll In My Butthole”, which she wrote for her new movie “Rock & Roll In My Butthole”. Sadly, being the hard, dedicated worker that I am, I fucking missed it! God bless the internets, because apparently she posted this earlier in the month and it totally passed my radar.
Either way, the song is instant classic, stuck in my head, and now forces me to think of butt sex over and over. Seriously, it’s a really cute duet she wrote and performs with princessFrank (from L.A. band Masterslave) that is actually really catchy.
I just got a message from my sister saying that i needed to check out the new Snoop Dogg ASAP. So I did. And I’m in love. First of all, it is a collaboration with Willie Nelson who totally rocks. Secondly, it’s got a dirty guitar riff and there’s nothing I love more. Finally, it reminds me that I totally have a Snoop Dogg Brand shirt, which I’m going to go put on before reciting rap lyrics for my girlfriend like only a white doctor’s wife can do.
No, I didn’t fall off the face of the earth… well, not completely. I’m in school this week, finishing up my Masters degree with a week long romp through the intricacies of sensitive issues in human sexuality education. Sounds fun, huh? Well, it is actually. I even got to play sex pictionary today (apparently necrophilia is way easier to draw then I ever imagined!). Unfortunately that means that you will just have to go through the rest of this week without my charming quips and witty insights. Luckily the Porn Librarian, Miss Behaving and Venus Vegas are around to fill the void. I know you’ll miss me though. But just think, next week I will have even more to sexy and salacious goodies to bring to the table. Woo Hoo!
Signing off till next Monday!
-J.D. Bauchery
ppppssssssst! Did you really think I’d leave you without adding at least one little treat? Rock out to this little ’80s ditty while I go journal my feelings and write about my best sexual experience… maybe I’ll post it if you’re lucky…
