Meet my friend, Chico Dusty. Mr. Dusty if you’re nasty. Now this is an individual who I’ve been following for quite some time, as his writing and thought process is just as wicked, intelligent, and shake-my-head-funny as I strive to be.
Chico writes miles and miles of sextastic content for Sex.com, a close and adored friend to the Hot Movies Network. Below, he wants to tell you a little story about the damage (or motivation?) men with plastic surgery can have on your arousal senses. Rrrawwrrrrr.
For the most part, I’m not a believer in this whole “porn is bad for you” rhetoric.
Porn can be bad for you. Like watching porn on an airplane is bad for you because you get arrested by an Air Marshall for being a pervert. But in the privacy of your own home or public library, there’s nothing wrong with watching porn. It’s not going to ruin your life.
However, watching too much porn might change you. Allow me to explain…
For the last month, I’ve only been watching Steven Seagal movies. I just can’t get enough of his karate moves and surly attitude! The last Seagal I watched was his theatrical debut, Above the Law.
To be perfectly honest with you, I have no idea what this movie is about. I watched all 99 minutes and didn’t retain a goddamn thing.
The only thing I’m sure about is that this movie made me feel very aroused.
Action movies, particularly Steven Seagal action movies, never fail to excite me…but not sexually. So this is the question I’ve been struggling with: “Why did Steven Seagal’s debut film arouse me?”
At first I thought that maybe it was Steven Seagal. You may know Seagal as the out of shape and exhausted washed-up martial arts master he is today, but the fact is Steven Seagal in Above the Law is a fucking stud.
Let’s compare the two Seagals:
But Seagal couldn’t be what aroused me because I would have felt aroused in his later, better movies.
Maybe it was the babes in Above the Law, Pam Grier and Sharon Stone?
It couldn’t have been Sharon Stone because she’s barely in the movie. She has like three lines and then holds a baby in the background for the rest of the movie.
Now, I’d like to think that Pam Grier was the reason for my strange and prolonged arousal because she’s a total babe. However, I’m pretty sure that the reason was Henry Silva.
Henry Silva plays the bad guy in Above the Law and I can’t help but get aroused whenever I see him because his leathery, possibly face-lifted face reminds me of Peter North:
Henry Silva’s collagen-wrought face is so similar to Peter North’s collagen-wrought face that looking at it forces the porn database in brain to kick in and arouse me.
So what is the point of all this?
Watching porn isn’t bad for you, but it does change you. I’ve watched a lot of porn and now I can’t help but get aroused whenever I see a man with lots of plastic surgery. It’s neither a good thing nor a bad thing. It’s just a thing.
Also, watch Above the Law. It’s pretty good.