classic porn

Sometimes you just need a little old school orgy to round out your day.  While this whole Grindhouse classic collection wasn’t group sex, the movie started out with orgy action that set the pace for my porno watching experience.  And what a nice pace it was…  Featuring rare footage of porn legend John Holmes, this ‘70s compilation offers a whole host of awesome scenes with some of the industry’s favorite stars.

One thing I especially enjoy about this smattering of scenes is that even though they give us a little background music to keep things moving along, you can still hear all the delicious moans and groans of pleasure that the performers are dishing out.  I can’t help but love a good moan.  There is something so extra sexy about hearing how excited someone is getting – especially when they get close to climax.

The video quality is dated at best, showing us exactly what the ‘70s brought to the porno table.  We still get lots of angles and all, but more scenes where the camera stays put during the action.  Like take scene three for example.  It’s as though the camera is sitting stationary on a bookshelf while the swinging dance party devolves into a raunchy orgy, with no close ups or cuts.  While I sometimes find that annoying, I actually really enjoy it in this instance.  But I wasn’t disappointed when the camera got a little closer towards the heat of the action.

All-in-all, a great classic combo to finish up a long week.

Watch “Hollywood Merry-Go-Round – Remastered Grindhouse Edition” Now!

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I don’t talk about it too much, but in fact, I am a fan of Ron Jeremy.  That’s right, the most famous male porn star of all time.  While he’s becoming more known for his mainstream cameos (he just won Crossover Star of the Year at the 2012 AVNs), he was once a prolific porno god with dick for days.  And I would even venture to say that back in the ‘70s, he was a handsome guy.  Chubby, mustachioed and pervy, with just the right about of sweetness mixed in.   Since we have nearly a thousand of his movies here at HM4Her, I figured I’d take one from the masses and give it a little review love.

Today I picked “A Night at the Bijou,” a silent quickie from HotOldMovies featuring Ron with an unnamed sexy blond.  They are having a night cap in a living room when they start making sexy eyes at each other and soon Ron’s giant schlong is making an appearance.  Seriously, sometimes that dick of his looks fake to me, but I know it’s the real deal.

They jerk themselves off for a few minutes before our hot blond can’t stand another second without his meat in her mouth and dives in for a blowjob.  After the quickest cunnilingus clip I’ve ever seen in porn, the pair get down and dirty with some deep dicking.  They go at it in a variety of positions, which affords us some pretty awesome angles to watch the penetration happening.  I do also want to mention the hot ‘70s bush action going on as well – full pubes for both and a thicket of chest hair for Mr. Jeremy.  Sometimes I miss seeing pubic hair if I’ve gone too long without watching an older flick.

I do wish there was sound in this old time flick, but alas, all we get is a little funky music as a soundtrack.  It seems like they are saying pretty interesting things to each other, but unless you can read lips, it’s totally lost.  I will say that I like this background music way better than some of the tunes on other HotOldMovies.  Funk music trumps techno for me any day.

Another HotOldMovies title to add to the must-watch list.

Watch “A Night at the Bijou” Now!

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I like classic porn.  Sure, it may be grainy, and yes, sometimes the sound doesn’t totally match up to the visuals, but there is something about a dirty movie that was made in the ‘70s that always warms my heart.  As a big queer feminist that rallies for sex-positive, female-focused porn, it’s true that classic movies don’t always sync up with my values, but for the most part, I am willing to retract my claws and just let the past be the past, and enjoy it for what it is.

Take ‘Love On The Beach,’ a ‘70s Grindhouse remaster.  Sure, they’ve just met on the cable car, but Carol is thrilled when Robert asks to walk her home, and even more excited when he mentions taking a trip to the beach, but only on the condition that she makes them lunch.  Yeah, my feminist hackles went up.  Dude, make your own damn sandwich.  And Carol, that guy could be Ted Bundy! Get to know him first!  I need to remind myself that first, this is the ‘70s, where life wasn’t quite so scary (except Ted Bundy was doing his thing in the ‘70s…), and second – this is PORN! I need to just chill out and watch the sexin!

Before any sexin’ happens, they pair strip down and play on the beach, which is pretty cute.  I will admit that my first thought was ‘if you were anywhere near San Francisco, that beach would be downright FREEZING,’ but instead of worrying about that, I focused on their real, hot bodies frolicking in the sea foam.  They look so excited and happy to be alive… and horny.  Soon they are in the sand getting busy.

Unlike most porno, these lovers take their time, caressing each other and lying together naked.  Carol goes into a super scary flashback of her last sexual encounter, which was an intense, violent sexual assault.   While I’ll admit that yes, it kills the mood, I’m glad they brought it up.  Porn never brings up sexual assault, so I think it’s empowering that this movie goes there… even if it is in a particularly graphic and uncomfortable scene.  As soon as that is finished, Robert goes into his own flashback, detailing his last sexual encounter, which was less than awesome (though not traumatizing like Carol’s).

Finally, a little more than half-way through this 50 min movie the action begins to heat up.  They continue to caress and kiss, moving to his hands on her pussy and her mouth on his cock – both with lovely close ups.  And then they fuck right in the sand (something I find horrific – you do not want sand anywhere near your pussy!), which comes off as super sexy and totally romantic.  They end with a delicious lunch and even more sex.

While this review was a little bit of a downer, I know, the movie was pretty decent and left me feeling like I watched something different than just straight up porno.

Watch “Love On The Beach – Remastered Grindhouse Edition” Now!

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Sometimes you need some weird shit to liven up your porno watching experience.  While Sex Aliens doesn’t top the list of odd things I’ve seen in porn (i.e. omelets), it has just enough silliness to yank me right out of my smutty blahs.  Plus, old school Ron Jeremy always makes me happy.  He is a pal of ours and a super nice guy.  I actually enjoy his acting and, while it is never academy award winning material, he never makes me want to stab my eye out and he makes me laugh.

Really, how could one not enjoy 1980’s Ron Jeremy and sexy feather haired retro porn alien babes?  It’s pretty much impossible.

The Sex Aliens are looking for the last breeder for their race (Ron Jeremy), but the SEXtraterrestrials… ha… must fuck a barrage of men before actually locating their man.  There is a lot of bush and tons of super long fingernails – oh how I love the 80s!  I was especially excited to see a young Peter North in two scenes.  He was (and still is) such a hunk. I just want to know what exactly he does to keep his hair so perfect and never out of place.  Not one single hair seems to move.  He definitely proves worthy of his title “The Cumshot Legend,” with his copious loads of man goo.

Finally, one of the hottie Sex Alien gets her hands on Ron and fucks him until he blows his load.  This is where we find out that he is a sex alien too!  Oh man, this is fun.  The Hedgehog splooges thick blue/grey jissm and ends up with green spots and crazy green hair!  It really is quite awful in the most brilliant of ways.  I love it!  In the end, the sexy sex aliens are relieved to have found their one last breeder so they can continue their race.  Everyone lives happily ever after.

Watch Sex Aliens now!

Love,

Ginger

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Video X Pix is putting the dick back in Dickens!  Carol Scrooge, the head of a sleazy nudie mag, wants nothing to do with the upcoming Christmas holiday – and has no interest in letting her staff celebrate either.  Even her poor assistant, Bob Hatchett, can’t be with his poor little Tiny Kim.  It’s only when she is visited by her old business partner, Lance Marley (and by visited, I mean fucked), do things start to turn around.  Just a note – for a ghost, this dude is a pretty hot lay, even with his weird Phil Spector hair.

As with the Dickens original, Scrooge is visited by three ghosts.  First up is the ghost of Christmas past, a dapper, powdered gentleman in a bright red top hat.  He brings her to a scene of her past, where she took advantage of her friends and loved ones, forcing them into dirty action.  The Carol looking on can see just how bossy and greedy she was.  Yes, it’s a seminal (pun intended) event for her, but for us – well, we get to watch her get fucked by a doll arm.  Yep, they look the arm off of her new dolly and went to town.  What a Christmas present, huh?  And I won’t lie… for me, it’s a little on the creepy side when just the hand is sticking out.

Onward to the ghost of Christmas Present – a divine queenly spirit with the most beautiful green afro and a red garland boa.  Carol is even snarky to him… looks like she needs a little more schooling to stop being such a bah-humbug beast.  He brings her to see Bob Hatchett and his wife as they celebrate the holiday in their own way – by fucking under the tree.  Their meager supply of gifts (Bob hasn’t gotten a raise in years) affords them even more room for sucking and screwing under the tree.  And I guess we might not have known it was Christmas sex without all of the awful, upbeat holiday music in the background.  Yeah, definitely not sexy.  I guess she doesn’t get it yet, since spirit three is one the way.

The third and final spirit, the ghost of Christmas future, comes up looking scary as shit, what with their big hooded cape, and takes Carol on a spooky tour of the seedy underbelly of the city.  It turns out that Carol herself turns in to a sex worker (or as she says “a cheap hooker”), trolling the streets to find johns.  This segment includes really bad interaction by ‘Carol’ and her john. I guess this is her final straw, and she decides that she must change her ways to become a quality, Christmas-loving person.

Finally understanding the lessons of the three spirits, Carol fills with holiday joy – especially after finding out that it is now Christmas day.  Changed, she wishes the world a very merry Christmas!  While it may be a predictable old tale, this pornified story definitely brings a new twist on the same-old holiday fable.  Happy Holidays… and God bless us,  every one.

Watch “The Passions Of Carol” Now

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Seka, you’re such a fox!  No one wears platinum blonde hair and blue eye shadow quite like you.  And you rock a scarf like were born to do it!

Seriously, Seka was and still is a super babe.  She totally drips with sex appeal and hey, have you seen her rack?  Yes, I’m totally into her parts.  I’m okay with it.  She is a pretty awesome lady, too.  In case you don’t believe me, you can read the 20 questions interview that HM4Her did with her long before my time.

We have tons of movies starring the ravishing Seka, but I am always charmed by 8mm films.  I love the HotOldMovies film clips, even though they are grainy and missing any and all of the sex sounds.  In this particular porno, Seka decides to wake her lover up with a blow job.  I love that she totally gets him hard with her mouth.  No pills were used – just good old fashioned cock sucking!  Thank you, 1970s.

We get treated to plenty of fucking and in less than 8 minutes we are left satisfied and ready for a sandwich and a nap.  I love you, sexy Seka.  Thanks for getting it done in no time.

Watch Danish #4 – Seka now!

Love,

Ginger

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It’s Top Five Tuesday time! I’m coming off of a crazy show weekend and I’m still feeling burlesque-y so I thought I’d go ahead and use it as inspiration. Today I’m giving you my top striptease picks. A little soft core action never hurt anyone.

Velvet Gloves – I love this one because it is so simple and so true to classic striptease.  She fills every second with simple movement and graceful removal of her clothes.  She’s just adorable.  And she wears gloves.  Velvet gloves.

National Classic Volume 25 - This little gem gives us a peek at a burlesque legend that is still performing today!  I have had the pleasure of watching Tempest Storm in action and she still has what it takes to bring the audience to their feet.  I love geeking out on bulry-q film clips like this!

American Pinups Glamour Girls From The Good Ol’ USA! –These contemporary cuties are just adorable!  I have to say, I applaud more of their effort than execution, but they are definitely worth the watch if you’re up for watching lovely ladies prance around in vintage attire.

Softcore Nudes 555: ‘40s & ‘50s (All B&W) – So many delicious curves!  After hours upon hours of watching smut, it’s nice to just watch all natural ladies saunter and pose just for the sake of being sexy.  Don’t get it twisted, I love a good Belladonna flick, but sometimes just watching women walk around naked is fun too.

Classic Striptease & Glamour Films 19 - This is another one makes me smile like a kid in a candy store.  The legendary Blaze Starr opens up this movie up.  At the very least her movement is interesting, but I love her fire, commitment and stage presence.

I hope you enjoy this stuff as much as I do. At the very least, it’s fun to take a peek into the past!

Love,
Ginger

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After all that gruesome horror porn from last week, I figured I’d ease us off the Halloween sugar high with something extra sweet and candy-themed.  And by candy, I really mean a Grindhouse triple featured called “The Candy Store.”  Featuring Candy Samples as a madam who teaches her girls the right ways to treat their horny clientele, this classic flick is the perfect segue into this month of delicious indulgence.

We start out this nearly hour long fuckfest with Candy offering up the new girl, Nancy, who has just asked her for a job only minutes earlier.  No better time to break her in, I suppose.  But luckily Candy sticks close by, because Nancy doesn’t exactly know what she is doing and needs a little hands-on demo to get her going.  I love that Candy swoops in with a quick blow-job 101, then just as quickly swoops back out, letting Nancy practice her newly learned moves.  Soon she is sucking and fucking like a champ!

It doesn’t take long for each of the girls to be picked for service (giving us a bunch of super hot scenes), leaving Candy all alone to satisfy her own sweet tooth.  But before she can get too far, one of her sexy regulars comes by to help her get the job done.  They barely get their clothes off when all the rest of the girls come streaming in to help, along with their landlord who is looking for the rent.  I love that Candy is like “well?  Play or get paid,” and the landlord basically falls over himself trying to get undressed quickly.  An awesome orgy ending to send us on our merry way.  The ‘70s have definitely treated us well.

 Watch “Virgin Nymph Grindhouse Triple Feature – The Candy Store” Now!

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While I enjoy talking about porn with just about anyone (Gail Dines excluded), I love hearing about movies from folks who really know it – especially if they were there… and especially if we are talkin’ classic porn.  There is just something extra exciting about hearing all the details first hand and getting the dirt from someone who hasn’t just heard the stories.  That’s where smutty historian Susie Bright comes in.

photo by Editrixie

Susie Bright is so much more than just an expert in classic porn though.  This amazing lady is an activist, teacher, performer, co-founder of lesbian mag On Our Backs, writer and so much more!  But today we are going to focus on the fabulous historian writing work Bright has done – particularly Susie Bright’s Erotic Screen Vol. 1: The Golden Hardcore and the Shimmering Dyke-Core, a collection of personal essays and commentary on films of the Golden Era on porn.  The book, which only comes in ebook form, features links to all of the referenced movies and industry people, including links from HotMoviesForHer (I gladly busted my rump making sure that Bright had all the links she needed – what a project!).

It was an amazing experience to read the book and learn just how freaking much Susie Bright knows about classic porn.  That’s why I asked her to come on HM4Her and give our pervy masses a quick lesson in classic smut – Top Five Tuesday style!  So, without further ado, we present Susie Bright’s Top Five Classic Porno Picks!  (Six actually – she couldn’t do just five!)

Clips: The original female ejaculation scene, up close and personal! And I was there, which makes me twice as nostalgic. I love this movie; it’s three vignettes, all very personal about one woman’s orgasmic one-track mind. The second clip is Greta Christina’s beautiful homage to anal self-ecstasy, and then in the third, two female lovers make the best erotic use of silk scarves… sensuous, romantic, and hardcore.

Classic & Vintage – 3AM: A drop-dead performance by Georgina Spelvin in one of the finest erotic tragedies ever made. Gary Graver was Orson Welle’s cinematographer of many decades. He delivers exceptional sexual tension and pacing, with a superb lesbian scene, which is the inspiration I took to choreograph the Wachowski Brother’s movie, Bound. We did an R-rated version of this shower scene!

Autobiography Of A Flea: The best (and practically the only) erotic video based on the Victorian-era. Wonderfully sacrilegious and appropriately naughty with many fine performances.  Paul Thomas plays one of the depraved monks, not long after he starred in Jesus Christ Superstar! Directed by Sharon McKnight, before she became a much-beloved cabaret star in her own right.

Cafe Flesh: This script continues to become more timely. Post-apocalypse society has been divided into two groups: one of sex-negatives who can’t approach orgasm without becoming violently ill, and the other of sex-positives who are forced to perform in institutionalized sex clubs where negatives gather to observe them. Of course there are the rebels too!  A cult classic that crossed over to mainstream movie theaters with its science fiction prophesies looking more realistic than ever.

The Devil In Miss Jones: Most famous early porn movies, like Deep Throat, don’t deserve the critical attention they’re accorded. Devil in Miss Jones is a notable exception; it’s riveting. A must for every recovering-Catholic. Troubling, arousing, superlative performances, particularly from Georgina Spelvin, the best who ever graced the X-screen.

Only The Best: Jim Holliday, a respected porn historian who’s the equivalent of an “Hardcore Roger Ebert,” has compiled a selection of his favorite scenes. He has excellent taste.  Each scene is accompanied by information about the selection. It’s an excellent introduction to what is considered the finest in commercial erotic video. If you ever meet someone who grumbles, “I’ve never seen anything in a movie that turned me on…”— show them this and watch them SHUT UP.

That Susie Bright – she’s pretty amazing, huh?

Thanks for the picks, Susie!

xoxo
-JD and Ginger Leigh

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Oh, weird porn, sometimes I love you so.  Sure, the majority of folks that come to HotMovies and HotMoviesForHer are looking for hot action and sexy bodies.  Nothing wrong with that!  But there are a select few that seek out the deeply buried, super weird shit – and I don’t mean German shit porn or anything particularly fetishy (and really, would I be calling that stuff weird?  Cause I don’t think it is.).  What I’m talking about is dudes in cartoon masks with bulging eyes and fake giant wangs fucking women… like straight out of a dirty comic book strip – because that is exactly what it is!  That’s right, today I have forayed into Sex In The Comics.  And yes, it’s weird.  And yes, I love it because it’s so damn weird.

Basically this reporter lady comes to interview a cartoonist about his cartoon cat, and he goes on a nice, long rant telling her about the 8-Pagers of the old days, where commercial comic characters were depicted doing totally dirty, devious things on the page.  Like Blondie and Dagwood – two characters I never thought of boning (well, maybe Blondie, with those tits, but never Dagwood!).  And bone they do… though not each other.

I will admit that I really have no idea if the other comic characters (other than Dick Tracy) were actual comic characters from back in the day, but really who cares.  Real or not, the porno versions of these characters fuck and suck and sometimes wear scary rubber masks and fake cocks – so what’s the difference if they are actual comic material?  I am grateful that the female performers stick with clothing and makeup to get into character.  I would hate to see them rocking those weirdo masks and bug eyes.

The editing is a little odd – with random stops and pauses, but honestly, I think it adds to the ‘70s charm of the flick.  As does the dated video quality and all.  Sex-wise, the movie is somewhat diverse; flipping back and forth between dudes boning ladies and ladies doing ladies.  Oh, and puppet person boning ladies.  Can’t forget about them!

I don’t know if I’d go to this movie strictly to get off, but if I was looking for something totally different, this is where I’d turn!

Watch “Sex In The Comics” Now

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