“60% of the time, it works every time.” Unfortunately, Anchorman – A XXX Parody fell into the other 40%.
Of course, expecting anything to live up to the original Anchorman is asking way too much. It was a magical mix of characters filled with one liners that you just can’t help but recite, even years after it’s release. Regardless, I just didn’t love it. It wasn’t a total bust, but it isn’t at the top of my list of parodies to watch.
As the story goes, Ron and the boys have lost their jobs at the news station and are all working at random places, wishing for the days of old. Mr. Burgundy’s brilliant idea to get them back on the news team is to pay a visit to Veronica Corningstone (Tasha Reign) and make magic happen under the sheets. The rest of his crew follows suit by hopping in the sack with the all-lady news cast.
As you can imagine, the boning goes down. The sex scenes are decent, but not out of the ordinary. Per my usual complaint, no one fucks in character. I get that it is a challenge to do this, but if you’re going to make the Anchorman XXX Parody, I think you should fuck the way you think Champ or Brick would fuck. Throw in an “I love lamp,” or something… anything!
One distracting element for me was Jack Lawrence’s not so good Ron Burgundy voice. He certainly gave it a lot of effort, which may have been the problem. It just wasn’t believable for me. Also, Tasha as Miss Corningstone was not a win for me. Again, who could fill Christina Applegate’s shoes? Brian (Dale Dabone) won the award for most entertaining. He totally grasped the character and seemed completely comfortable and natural. He is the man when it comes to the porno parodies. His scene with Aiden Starr was fantastic from every angle – the characters were believable and the van sex was dirty and hot. Aiden was really able to put on the news reporter facade and she had the voice/”non-regional dialect” down!
Is it worth the watch? That is for you to decided. If you’re an Anchorman fan, I think you should check it out and see. Just because my expectations were high, that doesn’t mean you won’t like it!
What do our favorite porn performers think about the industry? Inquiring minds want to know! Well, we asked and they answered! Welcome to our latest editor’s spotlight column, where we ask a bunch of stars the same question and see what kind of awesome answers grace our inbox.
This month’s question:
We know you’ve all been super nice… as well as deliciously naughty this year, so…what tops your holiday wish list?
Free healthcare and college education for all Americans. – Aiden Starr
I love the holidays, they are my favorite time of year, though, living in Toronto, the snow can get me down a bit. So! This year the top of my holiday wish list is occupied by a trip to other climes. My first stop would be Paris and then Berlin where I am working on a sort-of top secret new project that is guaranteed to be super sexy and groundbreaking. After Europe, maybe Aruba? Or, I have always wanted to visit Cuba while I still live in Canada and can fly direct. To help make my travel dreams come true, I am officially making my wish list full of airmiles donations, airline giftcards and the ever-lovely; cold, hard cash. Dreams into reality, that’s what the ho ho holidays are all about! Wishing everyone much joy and all the things they most want this year. xxo – Dylan Ryan
Top of my holiday wishlist? A wonderful 2011 for myself, my partner, our kitties and our loved ones. Sounds cheesy, I know, but honestly, being able to get by, having less pain than I might, and having my perfect queer-tastic family with our fabulous friends is what I love. I guess if I had to say something tangible, I’d love to have my student loans and medical debt paid off, so we could start saving for a house. Happy non-denomination season of joy, love, giving and capitalism! – Shanna Katz
What tops my Holiday wishlist this year is for everyone to run out & buy AlphaFemmes! The film releases in January (street date TBA), and the DVD will be available for purchase at www.alphafemmes.com. Pre-orders begin in late December. Wholesale inquiries please contact wholesale@annadevia.com. (and coming to VOD as well!) – Anna Devia
My holiday wishlist consist of:
- Vintage 1960′s Swiss Hermes 3000 Typewriter ( i have a huge type writer fetish)
- a phonograph or record player
- Some of my friend Alana’s delicious vegan peanut butter bars
- Dressing Gown from Agent Provocateur
- Bondage Ilya Fleet Reins from Coco de mer
- Bondage Ilya Fleet Web Body Piece from Coco de mer
- Bondage Ilya Fleet Dog Mask from Coco de mer
- Designer pearl anal beads from
Coco de mer – Madison Young
Funny you should ask! We actually made a wish list for our studios that includes things like Polaroid film, books, and a Brevis with rails and shoulder-mount with L2 cineglass. But the thing at the top of our list is probably a new bed! – Shine & the Crash Pad Gang
Besides world peace and and end to hunger and violence against women and children in DR Congo, I want an agent! I want to take my message of sexual sanity and happiness to a wider audience and need a good, for-real agent to do so. Oh, yes, and more hot sex with my hubby! – Nina Hartley
What tops my holiday wish list? I like to write nasty stories for my lovers. I was lucky enough to have one of my stories fulfilled on my birthday and I would love to have another one come to fruition. What a great Christmas present to have one of my Vampire stories brought to life or one of the dirty Lesbian bar scenes become reality. Gifts last a few moments, memories last a lifetime. : ) – Melissa Monet
A gift card to buy an awesome dress for the AVN awards! Also, gift card for the spa/fitness center at the hotel during AVN so I can de-stress and get those endorphins going. Happy holidays everybody! – Mistress D Severe
Multiple orgasms for everybody who needs them! (That should take care of holiday stress and uncivil public discourse. Not to mentions starting the new year out well!) – Carol Queen
An exciting year of hot projects, sexy films and loads of educational experiences. That’s what tops my list next year. I’ve been focused on my life for a while, with a big move to LA, and now I’m really excited to get back into work mode. So, an year of many great, and sometimes silly, projects tops my holiday wish list. That and I’d love 101 Positions for Lovers to win the AVN Award for best educational DVD. Even if it’s just an honor to be nominated. – Jamye Waxman
2010 has been a challenging year. What tops my Holiday wish list is for things to get better in 2011. I would love for everyone to have their health and happiness, but also for everyone to struggle less in the upcoming year. – April Flores
On the top of my holiday wish list is… myself! I’m giving myself more free time, more healthy meals, and fun physical activities like dancing, swimming, hiking and creating art. I’m gifting myself with quality nights alone to read books I’ve been wanting to finish, I’m showering myself with good times with friends. And I’m allowing myself to open my present early, and every day. And more masturbation, of course. – Jiz Lee
Thank you so much to everyone who participated! If you are a porn performer/director and are interested in answering our questions, please email me!
It’s not hard to figure out why this movie might stand out in a sea of other boxcovers. Sure Aiden Starr’s amazing tits were a total draw, but it was really the bright blue waters. That electric blue caught my eye in a way that didn’t quite scream porno to me, and made my brain glitch even the slightest bit to a full stop. What can I say, when you’ve been watching porn professionally for a while, sometimes the small details behind the boobs are the things that draw is in. And in this case, I am so glad it did.
Set with a loose plot, this flick features eight masseuses that work in this utopian spa, catering to rich men. And shocking they give more than back rubs! But don’t go thinking this is all about the happy endings. It’s erotic experiences extraordinaire here! Elegance and class, along with super hot cock sucking, pussy pounding – all within a beautiful background of glass paneled walls and seaside hot tubs. What a life!
While it was Aiden Starr who lured me in, the lady that totally won my attention was Juelz Ventura. Ever since watching her in Riding Hood XXX a few weeks back, I’ve been totally smitten. I did not know she was in this movie when I started watching it, but boy did I perk up when she came on screen! Juelz doesn’t actually get naked until the last scene, but the wait is definitely worth it. She takes on two guys in this super sexy poolside bedroom (or maybe it was just a bed next to the pool?) and woos them into complete pleasure. Not a bad way to de-stress, if you ask me. I think it’s time to book a day at the spa!
And here, all I thought Cherry Hill was good for was an office park and a decent shopping mall. Something tells me that Triangle Films wasn’t talking about Cherry Hill, New Jersey (which is right over the bridge from Philly, where we are) when they came up with the idea of this latest release, They Met In Cherry Hill. As a matter of fact, I’m not even sure where Cherry Hill comes into this equation, but to be perfectly honest, the super hot sex taking place all over said Cherry Hill has me too distracted to care about much else.
The perfect amount of plot and action, this story follows the staff and patrons of Jerry’s bar, as they fight, fuck and generally have lots of fun on the screen. Bratty bartender Dia Zerva sasses her overbearing boss Zoe Britton one too many times and has to be taught a lesson, while Britton’s personal trainer, Ariel X, has her own lesson going on with Jiz Lee. We even get a little extra bar-goer action has Melissa Monet and Aiden Starr flirt hardcore at the bar end up having another happy hour of their own once they leave.
One thing I really love about Triangle Films is that they sometimes feature the same performers over and over again, while still adding some new blood into the mix. Melissa Monet, Ariel X, Dia Zerva, Aiden Starr and Sinn Sage are all old school Triangle ladies, while I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jiz Lee in a Kathy Annelle flick before. There is something to be said about continuing to work with women they know are super talented and awesome, as well as something to be said about keeping things fresh and new. But honestly, Kathy and Shoosh (Triangle’s producer) know how to pick performers that shine, and I would back anyone they recommended as top quality. They seriously seem to be able to spot wonderful talent and insane sexiness from the get-go and every project they put their seal of approval on is a total thumbs up.
Speaking of Jiz Lee, my favorite scene in this movie was definitely Jiz and Ariel getting busy in a beautiful shower. Side note: You know you watch too much porn when you are noticing the tile work in the tub. After a nice and sweaty workout, the pair hop in the shower for a cool down and apparently decide to heat things up instead. Lots of licking, sucking and fucking – along with two perfectly placed soap dishes/handles – had this scene topping my list from the moment I started watching it. And that’s not even including the strap on harness and cock hanging in the shower, just waiting for Jiz to gear up and get into the groove. Once they did, I was totally sold. Hook, line and… sinker. Thanks for another awesome movie, Triangle!
It’s been a long, long time since I last indulged in a GwenMedia production but it’s hot and sticky outside and all I want is beautiful women wearing very little and staying very still. You know, to cool down or something. Of course my attention can’t be held simply by pretty bonds, so I’m turning to one of the premiere studios in feature bondage porn for little story with my naked.
We start off with a naked, creamy pale Madison Young, doing dishes at her Mistresses bidding. Already I can see I’ve made the right choice, so far no one’s in heavy cloying costume, silk robes and total nudity are the order of the day. If you’ve never seen a mistress breast jiggle freely while she utilizes a whip you’ve never lived and Aiden Starr’s breasts are simply magnificent in just any situation.
The story for “Lights Out” is an interesting one. Two slaves who share a Mistress, one more experienced than the other is instructed to assist in the training of the new recruit, somehow this leads to the two slaves being attracted to each other and breaking one of their Mistress’ most important rules. I must say it’s no wonder they were caught their fucking wasn’t exactly quiet or discreet though they were actually done in by a video camera. After that it’s a duel between submissives to see who’s greatest desire truly is their Mistress. So who wins the privilege of serving their Mistress and who’s sent home?
As always with GwenMedia, I find myself envying their toys. There’s a padded wall featured in one whipping scene that’s definitely enviable as it allows the slave a little give while kneeling back to the wall. Though it might just be me, but high heels seem wasted in a small dog cage. Rubber sleeping bags, yeah I took a minute to coo over the existence of these comfy looking sleeping accessories, the slaves even get to sleep in matching rubber garter belts and stockings.
Amazingly fun from start to finish, the sex which was mostly either solo or female on female seemed genuinely exciting for both parties. The predicaments were engrossing Mistress Aiden’s hand was firm and just even when her slaves were being exceptionally naughty. Most of all I enjoyed the light costuming in this hot assed weather! Just enough for effect while still allowing the women’s natural beauty to shine through.
Back when I was younger, I remember being so excited for this time of year. No more pencils, no more books, no more teacher’s dirty looks… that’s right, it’s nearly summer vacation! But instead of celebrating the sun (which we will get to), I think it’s apt to pay a little attention to those hard workin’ folks at the front of the classroom. Yep, today’s Top Five Tuesday is all about teachers!
So grab your apple, open a notebook and pay attention! This information will be on the quiz!
Joanna Angel’s Guide 2 Humping: Who wouldn’t want Joanna Angel at the head of the class, teaching her students tips on giving head? I mean really, the alt queen is a force to be reckoned with no matter what, but as the ultimate authority figure, I am instantly smitten.
Hot For Teacher: I couldn’t help but add this movie – it’s called “Hot For Teacher” – how could I not? Other than the awesome Van Halen reference, I’ll admit that this movie is nothing really special, but I do love me some Aiden Starr, so it gets on the list!
Sex Ed 2 – Hard Lessons: Naughty schoolboys getting the answers wrong on purpose. Yep, that can only lead to the equally naughty teacher teaching them a very, very hard lesson.
T.I.L.F. 2 – Teachers I’d Like To Fuck: As long as there as in acronym, I’m sold. Guys gabbing about being seduced by their horny teachers – where do I sigh up!
Savanna Scores: While I feel it my duty as one to say that sex educators don’t do hands-on education with their students, I will say that whatever role Savanna Samson plays, I am watching. Especially when she wants me cramming for the final exam. Savanna and cramming should always be in the same sentence…
Are you listening? Don’t make me send you to Detention (though this time I bet you’d like it!)
Interview heavy porn rocks my world. I know, not everyone has a weakness for it like I do, but as a sex academic and someone that thinks critically about gender/sexuality, hearing someone talk about their sexual expression is just as hot as watching them strip out of their clothes. What can I say? I’m a sexy nerd through and through. That said, this identity soul-searching movie had me hot and bothered from soup to nuts. It was a good day in porno land.
As an academic about this stuff, it was especially thrilling to me to hear each of the four women featured discuss how sexual labels function within their lives, both on and off camera, and how their self identity shines through no matter who they are smooching up on. That’s one thing about director Madison Young that I really truly love – she does interviews (or at least finds a way to dive deeper) with her performers and takes the experience to another level. While it doesn’t happen in all of her movies, it’s frequent enough that I get excited before I even start the movie.
I think it’s so important to look at sexuality as something more than just people grinding their junk together. It’s especially true when queer identity comes up. Many folks use queer as an umbrella definition that is inclusive of all the different kinds of people they want to sleep with, but that is not always readily understood and sometimes merits more of a discussion, which these performers were up for having. Alright, exciting nerdy rant over – let’s talk about the sex!
First, let me just say – so much good sex! All passionate, fun and totally real, which is such a turn on to me. Dylan Ryan is super smokin’ as she gets it from both ends up on the roof with Maestro and Aiden Starr. Of course I love watching Ryan get busy anywhere, but there is something about the backdrop of the tops of houses and the sky that made it extra exciting for me. It’s probably my voyeuristic side kicking in.
And while I loved the Dylan Ryan scenes, my favorite of the movie was so scene 3 with Tina Horn, Billie Sweet and Mickey Mod. There was no contest after I watched Billie Sweet unsnap her dress to reveal her wearing a harness, with a strapped on cock restrained against her leg with a bandanna so it wouldn’t pop out under her short dress. Holy hell was that hot! Unexpected and hot! And once they really get into the moment and screw up and down the kitchen, I was a sold lady.
If you are into redefining sexuality, talking about gender and sex in a thought-provoking way, or just into watching hot queers fuck, this movie is totally for you.
Aiden is a tiny little thing who has a lot to say. And let me tell those of you who don’t know much about this hot Fem Dom – it’s best you listen!
Aiden and JD talk about just how insane Dinah can get, lesbian porn fans and a little about some behind the scenes action with Varla Vex. I’m guessing you don’t want to miss hearing about a wet and wild lesbian orgy!
Sadly, the interview got cut a little short by a very friendly neighbor and hot tub plans, but that’s Dinah for you…
After spending the entire day with a billion bikini-clad ladies at the pool party, we HM4Her gals headed over to the convention center to check out the comic hilarity of The Kathy and Mo show, starring Kathy Najimy and Mo Gaffney. Unfortunately we were pretty far back and didn’t get any great pictures, but we did get this one, where they are kind of visible – and definitely wearing angel wings…
With all the buzz around Triangle’s Films first full-length film, River Rock Women’s Prison – as well as all the amazingly hot all-women cast, it makes total sense that Triangle would throw a shindig to celebrate their latest and greatest achievement! We here at HM4Her were lucky enough to help put the party on and really welcomes this awesome feature to the world.
While a few of our west coast folks were representing, unfortunately we weren’t able to go to the party (sometimes being an east coaster sucks). But luckily Shoosh of Triangle sent us a bunch of pictures that make us feel like we were right in the action!
(L to R – Adrianna Nicole, Dia Zerva, Aiden Starr)
Correction Officer Adrianna Nicole changes out of her regulation blue uniform (a woman in uniform – so hot) and opts for something a little sexier to hang out with bad-ass inmate Dia Zerva and Triangle girl (though not in RRWP) Aiden Starr. To be perfectly honest, I can’t say I’d mind a frisk down by Adrianna Nicole. Makes me think about committing a crime… Read the rest of this entry »
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