While I am a big fan of talking about the fluidity of sexual desires and how people should be able to fuck whoever they want (consensually) without worrying about classifications, I am also a realist who knows that folks toss labels like they are goin’ out of style. Why do I bring this up? Well, because today I am reviewing a Straight Guys For Gay Eyes & For Women Too! movie! Yes, it’s true that some gay men have a total hard on for watching straight dudes (or “straight acting dudes” – whatever that means) get down and dirty. And, to appeal to the widest audience possible, they tacked women on the end… because what woman doesn’t want to watch other women be completely disregarded and treated like a sex toy?
Alright, I’m not saying that Straight Guys For Gay Eyes & For Women Too is bad or anything, but honestly, I don’t think I’d call it porn designed for women. I mean hell, they don’t even give the woman featured here a name. It’s all about hard-bodied Mitch Phelps, which would be fine, but don’t go saying that these movies are “for women too.” Women can enjoy them, of course, but they aren’t made with women in mind, so don’t bother fronting.
Ok, now that my rant is out of the way, let’s get to the action. Mitch Phelps starts out the scene talking about his life in New Orleans, and how he drinks and offers up beads for boobs. Then they get into the oral sexin’, which Phelps going on about how he enjoys giving and receiving. He gets a nice long blow job, and then reciprocates for a few minutes before giving her a deep dicking. Soon it’s back to blow job, then to a different position, to blowjob, to different position, to blowjob cumshot. Honestly, it’s a half hour of predictable, boring sex, with the annoying squeak of the bed accompanying the whole thing.
Sometimes you love a movie, and sometimes you don’t. Check it out to form your own opinion.
Since we are away in lesbian paradise (aka The Dinah), I figured I would change things up a bit and go strictly dickly with today’s review. That’s right, I am going gay! Of course, that’s not to say that women, whatever orientation they happen to be, aren’t interested in gay porn – all I’m saying is that the super Sapphic overtones of the week must have some folks craving a deep dicking, and I am happy to oblige.
This time around we head overseas to the UK, where a set of handsome hard bodies are hot, hung and ready for action. But lest you think this is JUST a fuck romp, I think it important to point out that this UKNakedMen title is also a commentary on class and social station in life.
The premise is basically working class dudes (ie. firemen, construction workers) banging white collar businessmen /foremen wearing fancy suits. The message is really saying that under their respective “uniforms,” these guys are all horny muscle men that want to fuck – that if you take away our outward differences, that we are all, in fact, humans with the same basic needs. I bet you didn’t expect to get a deeper meaning with your smut today, now did you? Consider it a twofer. Anyway, on to the sex!
The delectable Issac Jones leads this six scene cock fest with a building ordinance violation inquiry gone awry. And by ‘awry,’ obviously I mean totally sexy and full to the hilt with hardcore pounding and blowjob action. I mean really, how else is that type of permit issue going to take care of itself?
The next scene is a narrated story between an office worker and his building’s newest maintenance man. And not only is this dude fixing stuff left and right, he’s doing it all wearing some sort of coverall that features two parallel vertical zippers on the front. It only makes sense that the office guy would pull them down simultaneously to access Mr. Fix-it’s rock hard dick, right? It’s the best way to get his cock sucking on. Shockingly, it doesn’t take them very long to remove the rest of their clothing as well.
Ooooh, scene three brings us an electrician with a giant hole in his jeans – one that just so happens to prominently display his man meat. And ooops, he slips while balancing on a beam and just so happens to fall directly into a web of rope and wires that strangely work perfectly as a sex swing. How convenient!
The rest of the flick follows suit (ha, pun!), offering up suits versus hard hats in the form of super hot man-on-man sexin’! Oh, and thanks for the excuse to comment on class distinctions and how pointless they are once the trappings come off.
Holy hot men! The boys in Splash Of The Tight’Uns are rock hard and tight. Their bodies look fantastic and they are all about the banging. So yummy for my eyes!
The entire movie is filled with quality man on man action, but scene 1 stood out big time. Harley Everett plays doctor to patient Johnny Hazzard. After his official rectal exam, bald hottie Harley takes him for a test drive. Wow. This is definitely one of the hottest match ups I’ve ever seen. Both are tattooed and sporting thick meaty cocks. Mmm. Harley is sure to give Johnny’s ass a nice long warm up. He gets him nice and wet with his tongue and dives in with his fingers. I love seeing Harley so consumed with using his non-penis parts to get Johnny and revved up. It’s super awesome to just see him enjoy Johnny’s body with such intensity and sincerity.
Eventually Harley drives his cock into Johnny Hazzard’s ass and they both love it. They make the most of banging on the examination table in the doctor’s office. Changing up the positions and never missing a beat. Finally, with Johnny on his back, Harley pumps him with nice long thrusts. Johnny blows his load twice! They do prolong each with not-so-fancy camera work which I don’t like, but I DO like watching the two separate sploogie woogies. Harley adds to the mixture on his ripped abs for an oh so satisfying close to the scene.
It has been quite a while since I’ve watched gay porno that really popped my tent. It was super refreshing to watch dude on dude porno with good energy and honest pleasure. I’m not saying that lots of it doesn’t exist, I just haven’t seen it in a while. Thanks, UKNakedMen!
HotMoviesForHer welcomes guest blogger Maxxters back, this time offering up a movie review to kick off the week. And don’t forget to check out her last post, Porn vs. Reality!
Unless you like just watching really good looking, young guys and don’t care about really seeing them in action, I wouldn’t recommend Johan’s Journal Part 1: Sun Kissed to you. Most of the men in the movie are absolutely gorgeous. But it’s filmed in an odd way, with a tonne of ‘filler’ with random interviews with the guys (not in English and only part 8 has subtitles) and filming them just hanging out. There’s a lot of masturbation scenes and scene 3 and 8 are purely them filming a photoshoot.
Going scene by scene, the first is mostly just 2 really hot guys jacking off. There’s a little bit of oral in it and that’s just about it. Scene 2 starts off completely non-sexual. Eventually there’s a hot make out session, but most of this clip is really slow and there isn’t much to it. It gets a bit weird and it actually turned me off by the end. They fuck a bit, but not in a way that turned me on in the slightest.
Skipping forward to scene 3, this was actually my favorite. The guys in it are super hot and it’s incredibly sensual. It’s just them taking part in a photo shoot but it’s so slow and sexy and you can tell the guys are really enjoying themselves. It ends up being such a tease. You just want to see them fucking each other’s brains out, but instead they hold back, playing with each other’s bodies and just stringing you along.
By the time it gets to scene 4, you’re dying to see some guys fucking! Unfortunately, it ends up being a lot of oral, but at least the guys are really into it, so it’s hot to watch. They do end up fucking, but it’s not really my style. It’s a lot of the same thing over and over again.
Scene 5 is just a big circle jerk, with 5 or 6 guys sitting casually at a patio table, getting themselves off. It wasn’t a turn on for me at all. But again, if you’re just looking to see gorgeous guys playing with themselves, then this is probably the best scene for you to watch.
Scene 6 has 2 guys giving each other oral in the bathroom before moving onto messing around on the bed. It’s actually really hot, with them just having fun together and really enjoying themselves. They do eventually get to fucking and it’s really hot to see how much they’re loving it. I found this to be the best scene for fucking.
Scene 7 starts off really slow again and has quite a bit of oral. They move onto fucking, but it’s a bit too slow, gentle and quiet for my taste. Scene 8 is a waste of time in my opinion. Most of it is just them putting together the set for their photo shoot. One of the guys is fucking HOT, but there really isn’t much action at all. Not my scene.
I found it pretty funny that scene 9 starts off with a guy jerking off on his own to a video clip that you can see playing on the TV. The porn on the TV in the scene is way hotter than any of the porn shown in this movie! Another guy does end up coming in and they have fun sucking each other off as well as playing with a butt plug in one of the guys. They fuck for all of 2 and a half minutes in the same position at the end and that’s that.
So all in all, not really something I would recommend unless you’re just in the mood for watching some hot young guys who walk around topless, sometimes getting themselves off and seeing a few oral scenes and even less fucking. It’s also all in another language, so that’s a bit frustrating. Fun to watch, but I didn’t find it an easy movie to get off to.
Today feels like a gay porn kind of day, so I decided to give a little love to the gay porn studio I hear so many good things about, Rascal Video. I’ve watched a few Rascal Video flicks in the past, but it has been a while, so I’m happy to sit back and take in all the super hot man-on-man action they have to offer. Plus it’s a Chi Chi LaRue movie, so I am extra excited to take a look. I mean, who doesn’t love porn directed by a drag performer? I am in awe of her many talents. Alright, onward to the movie.
Detention is about, you guessed it, detention. When you are up to no good in the schoolhouse, the teachers have no choice but to send you straight to detention. But little do they know that this detention hall is anything but punishment. Full to the hilt with hot, horny guys just aching to get stuffed, detention is what dreams are made of and where bad boys long to go. And with more than two hours of sweaty schoolhouse action, there seems to be quite the selection of naughty lads – all ready to fuck in pairs, triads and piles. Yum.
While I liked all five of the scenes, I really enjoyed scene three, with Chad Hunt and Tag Adams. It features a custodian finding a bunch of porno mags in a student’s locker, and when the student returns to close his locker, instead of turning him in, the custodian asks if he wants to see more. He brings the student down to the basement of the school and pulls out a stack of porn mags. Of course they both get turned on and begin to fuck – all over pages of straight porn mags that are lying on the floor. It’s pretty freaking awesome.
I also really liked scene 5 with Johnny Hazzard as a detention tough guy, who tries to get a blowjob from some straight-laced student when Matt Summers comes to his rescue and tells Johnny to get a bj from a professional – and points to himself. It’s pretty awesome. I do love me some Johnny Hazzard. The whole scene turns into a giant orgy of sexy action, and really I couldn’t be happier about it. Looks like a need a little detention of my own.
I love stocking stuffers. Candy, socks, candles, hand cream, chocolate oranges, Starbucks gift cards, mini flashlights, etc. Unfortunately, this movie isn’t about actual stocking stuffers. Fortunately, I’m pretty sure that “stockings” is code for “buttholes” and “stuffers” is code for “penises”. Perhaps I’m taking the title a tad on the literal side, but per usual, I do what I want.
I loved the opening of this movie. The first glimpse is of a lovely toned dude jerking off with a Fleshlight Ice. In case you didn’t know this about me, I’m a total fan of watching people masturbate. It isn’t terribly common to get to see dudes using masturbators in porn, so I get super excited when it happens. I was really enjoying this one because this particular Fleshlight is clear so you can see his penis through the masturbator while he wanks. Neat! Anywho, this only goes on for so long until he is joined by an equally muscular stud muffin that slides right in and takes the place of the handy dandy jerk off tube. They get their merry butt fucking Christmas on. It is hot, but I have one question: why does the banger give the bang-e the middle finger?
The movie goes on and each scene gets hotter and naughtier with more toned clean cut boys that love to get dirty. I totally love that each scene includes some sort of Christmas something-or-other in sme capacity. A lot of movies throw in the word “Christmas” just to get you excited about watching a festive porno, only to leave you disappointed and like your stocking was filled with lumps of coal. I hate box covers that lie! That isn’t the case here! This is one big man on man Yule log filled smut party. If you’re looking for a porno that will both get you off and get you in the mood for egg nog, this is it!
It’s really the simple things in life that I truly love. Simple things like watching hot dudes jerk off. It’s easy. It’s fun. It’s hot. It makes me happy. And what the hell, it’s almost Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for it.
I’m definitely feeling the guys in the Cockyboys movies. They have an everyday hotness/edge that keeps me watching. Don’t expect any cartwheels or fireworks, as Horns & Halos is filled with straight up jacking off. For me, watching hot dudes make themselves feel good is just as awesome as pyrotechnics and acrobatics.
Dayton O’Connor in scene 3 does it up right with his cock poking through his ripped jeans. He is super into it and holy hotness do I like watching him fuck his clasped hands! He gets points for creativity and intense pelvic thrusting. He totally loses himself and that is certainly something I enjoy in solo masturbation movies.
Scene 6 is another re-watchable one for me. For starters, Hugo Milano had a few more tattoos than the other fellas. I always like a man with ink. I also like his willingness to take risks and jerk off in such death defying poses as balancing betwixt a ladder and what I’m going to call a shelf. Nice job! He is another one that gets into to what he is doing and forgets the camera is there, even with the whole ladder situation. The voyeur in me likes to see what people look like when they get themselves off on any random day. Yep, I’m a big perv.
Clearly, I’m a fan of this flick. Is it ground breaking? No. Does it satisfy that Solo Male J/O tooth? It damn sure does.
I totally have a soft spot for muscular boy on boy action. Watching hot sweaty dudes who are all nice and sliced up give each other the business just lights up my day.
We start Worked Out & Worked Over with 2 sexy dudes hanging out in the sauna. Hot, sweaty and roasted to the right temperature, the blow jobs begin! After Damian Rios gets in on some cock sucking action, flips over on all fours and gets ass worked over with his partner’s tongue. This gives us the perfect opportunity to check out his wing tattoos on his back. They get to the banging and we get to hear lots of yummy moaning and groaning. They splooge and call it a day.
Next up, our two fellas are actually in the gym when the need to pump more than just iron overtakes them. These hunk-o-matics are wearing ketchup and mustard colored jock straps. Not only did I walk away from this movie with a boy on boy boner, but I also had an intense craving for a hot dog. Good thing all of that workout equipment ALSO inspired me to do some squats.
You can’t very well have a movie with the words “worked out” in the title without a little locker room banging and my do we get it. It is one of the most stereotypical places to shoot a porno scene, but clearly it gets the job done. I know I can’t get enough bent-over-the-bench butt sex!
If you have the same affection that I have for hot boys with hot bods getting it on, then you’ll definitely want to watch this movie. You’ll be quite pleased with all of the blow jobs and anal sex that fill your screen.
Nothing says Halloween like twink vampire sex – and I am ready to celebrate! It’s Happy Halloween week and what’s better than some badass haunting in the form of hardcore blowjobs and premium ass fucking. I don’t know about you, but I am so ready for some tricks and treats!
At this point in my horror movie interest, I am convinced that the woods bring nothing but death and destruction, and this flick’s description isn’t helping dispel those fears! The description gives us a group of guys heading out to a cabin in the woods for a relaxing vacation, which is anything but. It doesn’t take long for the sexing to begin, but as for the horror, I was deeply disappointed.
Listen closely, porn makers – if you want to make horror porn, then make horror porn. Don’t just make a movie with people fucking and slap a scary description and a few post production spooky touches and expect me to not know the difference. Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching porn for so long and have high expectations, but it’s such a turn off to not get the awesomeness that a description promises me. I start going off to my co-workers about false advertising and it’s no good.
Alright, enough complaining, let’s get to the stuff I did like. While weird blue lighting doesn’t equal scary vampire porno in my mind, but it does do something to give it an off-kilter vibe, especially during the sexes. There was a ton of dick/ass/mouth action going on that I very much appreciated and lots of different combinations of people, including a “vampire.” Another thing I really appreciated was the fucked up, scary cover. The dude with the blood-covered mouth is in there at the very last minute, which is the only thing that saves this as a Halloween pick.
Hot sex, yes – scary horror porn, no. I guess sometimes we can’t have it all.
What kind of world would this be if an innocent pinball game didn’t end in raucous sex? I mean really, I know I wouldn’t want to live there. Thank goodness this gay quickie from NickCapra.com is most definitely on the same page. And that the action begins with a pinball game as the sex furniture.
Aside from the pinball, which I could clearly talk about all day long, this flick features the hot bodies of Nick Capra and Nick Piston. Both dudes are totally cut and sexy, without looking like major gym bunnies.
It only takes them a few minutes to shed their shirts and get into some extended nipple licking that quickly turns into blowjob territory. Yum. Capra is super hungry for cock and wastes no time getting Piston’s, well, piston deep in his throat. We even get a little finger-ass action before Capra drops his own pants and gets a hummer.
It’s so obvious that these guys are really into each other and all the delicious fucking they are doing. There isn’t a ton of affection or kissing, but they are definitely enjoying all of the ass fuck action and, of course, their return to fucking on the pinball game. You can only screw on a leather couch for so long before the arcade calls you back…
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