I’m a pretty big fan of the classics. Sadly there are a lot of them and a lot of new movies tugging at my eyeballs, so I rarely feel like I’m making headway on seeing all the classics out there. Today I can at least cross “Taboo” off my list of must see movies. Long before I became the smut purveyor you know and love, I’d heard of this series (along with “Debbie Does Dallas” but really who hasn’t heard of that one) and I’ve been intrigued, but vaguely hesitant ever since. After all with a title like “Taboo” it’s got to be all kinds of decadent raunch doesn’t it?

I can tell where things are going to go by breakfast, when the lead character, Barbara, explains to her son, Paul, that Pop won’t be coming ’round no more. Her magnificent natural tits are nearly popping out of the electric blue robe she’s wearing and I’m sure the view had more than a little to do with Paul’s decision to stay by his mother’s side instead of going to live with his father and soon to be mother-in-law. Enter the sexy, helpful, swinging single friend by the name of Gina to assist Barbara in getting back on the horse, or at least see to it that she doesn’t have to spend a single night sleeping alone.

Several times during this movie I caught myself laughing out loud. The moment when Gina says “what’s going on over there? Is Jerry attacking you?” with breathless excitement and absolutely no concern for Barbara’s well being, is one of them. The threesome scene that follows as Gina gets a little too excited by the thought of her friend in a compromising position – would have better served under different circumstances. Eventually Barbara tries to get back in the swing of things with a date, set up by the less than reputable Gina; I’m really beginning to think this woman doesn’t have Barbara’s best interests at heart. The scene that follows has the best daisy chain – ever – and the line “my god you’re young enough to be my son,” spoken with sincere indignity in the middle of an orgy to a man who’s nearly ripping her clothes off gets another giggle. After all of that, is it any wonder that Barbara comes home and latches onto Paul’s cock like her life depends on it?

Sadly I felt like socking most of the men in “Taboo.” For plastic surgery’s sake – no means no – and it’s obvious that “Taboo” was made before sexual harassment laws came into being. I will hand this to the movie, it did cover a lot of taboo subjects; husband dropping their wives for younger women, men hiring women just so they can get into their pants, guys who expect more than a polite thank-you for a date of any kind, the general lack of respect for women in just about every possible way really, oh yeah and the thought that women secretly love it when you treat them like dirt. “Taboo” might be a classic but it isn’t what I’d recommend to any of my friends unless someone was about to dump a total slime ball and needed additional firing up. Ok, maybe for the laughs, the line “it was lovely though, holding my darling boy in my arms again – just like when you were little,” still has me giggling. And that’s just it. In the end “Taboo” left me somewhere between horrified (and not for the reasons I might have expected to be horrified) and overly amused, but not in the least bit horny.


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