Category Archives: Toys for Two

The Veronica Harness by Velvet Nest

I am a very femme, girly girl. I like makeup and dresses and even have been known to enjoy wearing a heel or two. And I am a queer girl who loves to strap on a big cock and fuck with abandon. While I have used plenty of awesome harnesses in my day, they’ve all been generally perfunctory and practical for the job, without incorporating too much femme pizzazz. Mostly black nylon affairs with plastic adjusters and metal snaps, though I have coveted fancier toys with glitter and trappings. It wasn’t until I randomly ran across Velvet Nest did I find a harness that fits my personality, as well as my hips and dicks – The Veronica!

This black and white polka dot harness is decidedly feminine, with a sweet panty shape and a pretty bow at the top. Made of vegan/vegetarian friendly cotton, metal D-rings and an interlocking Velcro system that holds a cock firmly in place, Veronica offers up the perfect marriage of form and function. Because it’s so streamline and subtle, this harness can be worn underneath clothes with little detection. I even wore it out to a dance party under a skirt and it was comfortable the whole night long. And if it had been glimpsed on the dance floor, everyone would have just thought they got a peek at my undies.

Along with being attractive and comfortable, Veronica is really good at keeping a cock steady and ready to fuck. The Velcro system I mentioned above surrounds the base of the dildo, holding it tight, and is easily adjusted to fit various-sized dicks. The Velcro takes the place of an o-ring, so you don’t have to worry about having the correct-sized ring for each time you want to switch dicks. I was a little concerned that the Velcro wouldn’t hold my dildo tight when the heat turned up a notch, but it did an awesome job of holding up to the hardest of fucking and rapid penetration. I was very impressed.

Before Veronica arrived in the mail, I was a little worried about the sizing. As a zaftig lady, I want to make sure any toys I buy are going to fit me correctly and comfortably. I ordered the 1X/2X, as that is the biggest size, at 42”-48” and even though my hips are less than 48”, they aren’t too much less, so I wasn’t sure if the harness would fit. While it does fit, I will say that it is snug and there is not a lot of strap left at the ends. Luckily the metal D-rings hold the straps tightly to my body and I am able to use Veronica just fine. It does definitely leave indentations on my hips after I take it off though. Nothing painful or so much that I wouldn’t use the harness, but I have noticed the marks. No biggie on my end though.

I am really impressed with Veronica and think that Velvet Nest has really filled a gap in the sex toy industry. One day I hope to have fun with her sister, Betty, and their Lacy Harness friends!

Get a Veronica Harness of your own!

Aslan’s Simple Harness

When it comes to sex toys, there is just about something for everyone.  If you aren’t interested in the shape or color of this toy, that one on a shelf across the room that will make you feel all tingly in your pants.  Same goes for harnesses – some folks dig the glitzy apparatus with all the glitter and embossed leather, while others are just looking for a simple kit to keep their dick strapped on tightly.  Today simple is what we are talkin’ – with Aslan’s Simple Harness, from

Usually known for their superior leatherwork, Aslan Leather has branched out to include vegan harness options.  Along with offering up rubber and vinyl models, Aslan also brings a totally paired down version made of durable nylon webbing, sturdy plastic snaps and adjusters and a rubber ring with a little give.  Simple is as basic as you can go, yet maintains the same integrity and quality as Aslan’s fancier toys.

While the Simple harness may look like just another cheap harness you could get at the porno shop down the street that sells jelly rubber toys in on the back wall, don’t let its unencumbered facade fool you.  She may be plain, but her high quality materials, expert engineering and specific touches bring her worlds away from that cheap crap that will end up falling to pieces after a few uses.  I like to think of Simple as the Toyota of dildo harnesses – she may not have the sparkle of a BMW, but you’ll still be riding her 20 years later, with nary a maintenance break.  Seriously folks, Aslan is good at what they do.

What makes me love the Simple harness so very much are, really, the simple things that they’ve done that make it so superior to other nylon harnesses I’ve seen and tried.  First up, they use nice and thick webbing that would be really hard to mess up, even if you tried.  While I admit that it is not perfect, I will say that the seams on the webbing are a lot less jagged than other ones I’ve played with.  I still might take a nail file to the sharper edges just to dull them a bit so you don’t get scratched.  When it comes to the snaps, I am so freaking excited that they made this with plastic ones.  Seriously, I don’t know if you’ve ever used a harness with metal snaps, but they are not only cold on the back, they rust when you clean your harness, which is totally counter-intuitive and super annoying.  I’ve been thinking about plastic snaps for a while, and this is the first time I’ve actually seem them.  And I can’t forget about the adjusters, which are made with strong teeth that keep the straps tight and your dick perfectly placed.

Along with the plastic snaps and strong teeth, I’ve got to say that I really like that it comes with only one ring.  Sure, I am not be able to fit all of my cocks into that size ring, but I’d be lying if I said that I had any idea where any of the other extra rings I have actually are in my house.  The last thing I need is another toy with 50 million parts to keep track of – and yes, I even mean a charger.   But if it did have more than one part, Simple does come with a cute little storage bag to keep it safe and clean between uses, so I would keep everything together in there.

Another stand out quality of the Simple is that while it comes with two straps to wear as a jock strap harness, you can actually take one off and use it as a g-string harness.  Talk about versatile!  I love that I have that option and don’t have to think about buying a second harness to get a different experience.  Oh, and speaking of straps, the hit strap is a lovely 56” long, so folks of many sizes can use this harness.  While that may not be a big deal to some folks, I identify as a fat person, and if a sex toy doesn’t fit me, it kind of puts a damper on the experience.

Quality construction and materials make this Simple harness simply a delight to wear!

KinkLab’s Power Tripper

What person doesn’t dream (even a little bit) about having a super power?  It may be as lofty as flight or as mundane as being able to chop vegetables extra fast, but I’d say that most folks have had at least one or two fantasies about being able to access some super human capability.  So, what if I told you how you could actually get your hands on one of these precious powers?  What if I told showed you how to turn your body into an electrode?!  Alright, it’s not super strength or x-ray vision, but hey, it’s still pretty freaking awesome, and you don’t have to be bitten by a radioactive bug or anything!  All you need is a particularly pervy mind and a Power Tripper from KinkLab.

A few months back, I had the very exciting opportunity to get my sticky little fingers on a KinkLab Neon Wand from The Stockroom.  This electro-erotic toy is a wand that creates an electrical charge across the surface of the skin wherever you touch with one of the four glass electrode attachments.  Depending on how high the current is turned up, the sensations rang from a light tingling to a sharp shock.  Read more about the actual Neon Wand in the review we wrote when we first tried it out.

So, why am I going on and on about the Neon Wand?  Well, because the Power Tripper is an attachment for KinkLab’s Neon Wand!  That means that before you can play with the Power Tripper, you’ve got to wrangle yourself a wand.  And as the instructions clearly state – a KinkLab Neon Wand, not just any old electro-stim toy.

The Power Tripper is a metal plate attached to a cord that plugs into the Neon Wand. When the plate is held flush against the skin, it turns one’s body into an attachment for the Wand.  Basically, it makes it so your fingers, tongue, whatever becomes an electrode that transfers the current to another person’s body, stimulating them.  Yep, it makes you the middleman of electro-pleasure and I would say it equates to having vibrating fingers.  Pretty exciting, huh?

So, how does it work?  It’s awesome!  Like I said above, not only does it give your fingers the ability to make your partner tingle, it gives your tongue that ability too!  Very exciting.  I will say that to keep the metal plate flush against your skin, it helps to keep your underwear on and tuck it into the waist band against your hip.  Make sure to start off low and go slow to higher settings.

Because I am a neurotic person, I never kept the wand on for more than several seconds.  I have this irrational fear of the electricity making my heart stop or something.  I know, it’s a little far-fetching, seeing as I don’t have a heart condition and this toy is perfectly safe, but still, I can’t shake the paranoia about it.  I definitely enjoyed being the receiver of the tingles more than the wearer of the Power Tripper.  Just a preference.

One thing that is a total bummer is that I didn’t do a very good job of reading the instructions of removal and  instead of pulling on the metal part you are supposed to pull on, I pulled on the cord and ripped it clean off. Make sure to only pull out by gripping the metal end below the cord. Take it from experience. Yes I feel foolish, but more so, I am disappointed to only have enjoyed this attachment once before breaking it.  I guess I can’t have anything nice.  Oh well, I will happily purchase this awesome and unique attachment! I contacted the company and was informed that they’re already in the process of improving this and making the cord connection stronger.  They are awesome and are constantly working to improve features on products.  Thanks KinkLab!

Take a trip to ecstasy with KinkLab’s Power Tripper!


Starburst Tickler

Sometimes you just need a little tickle in your sex life.  Something soft and sweet that just feels nice to rub all the body.  While advanced sex toy enthusiasts can definitely get down with this kind of action, feather ticklers are often ideal for couples just getting into the world of sex toy play.

First, a little about the Sportsheets Starburst Tickler:  The plastic handle is roughly 16 inches long and less than 1/2 inch around.  There is a thicker piece on the end that makes for easy gripping.  There is small, but adequate tuft of feathers on the other end.   All in all, the tickler is 20 inches in length.  it comes in a variety of colors.  I have the purple one which I rather enjoy.

This little teasing wand feels fantastic on the skin.  It is a total treat for the senses.  Anyone who like a nice soft back scratch would love this.  What do you do with it? Well, one can simply rub it all over their partner’s body.  It titillates like you wouldn’t believe!  Throw in a blind fold and you can keep them guessing as to where it is going next.  Like Babeland suggests, you can use it to spread lickable body dust all over (just keep the dust away from the vaginas).

If you’re into getting a bit kinkier, you can use it to soothe a whipped ass in between licks.  Tie them up and drive them nuts with tickles.  You’ll both love it!  Like with most sex toys, just use your imagination and do whatever suits you.  There are no rules.

I rather like my little Starburst Tickler.  It’s simple and super affordable.  It’s a great addition to any toy collection.  if you’re just getting started, you should definitely pick one up.  No, it isn’t for dusting.  Well, again, I’m not here to tell you what to do.

Head over to Babeland and grab your own Starburst Tickler!

ScreamingO: LingO

Oral sex is awesome all on it’s own, but I’m never opposed to shaking these up trying a little something new.  This is especially true when it comes sex toys that I can use with my   Plus, I have to admit, turning my boyfriend into a human vibrator is a pretty awesome idea?  I was a little worried about him cracking a tooth, but he was willing to take that risk and take one for the team.

The LingO from ScreamingO of is a tongue vibrator made from soft stretchy TPR silicone.  It is disposable and made to LingOlast for 40 minutes of fun.  It has a basic on/off switch and rocks one steady speed at the upper end of medium.  It is compact with a length of 1 ¼ inches, a width of 1 inch.  When fully stretched, I would say the band measures a little over 2 inches in width.  The bullet was very quiet.

Surprisingly, the TPR band wasn’t uncomfortable around my tongue or my boyfriend’s tongue.  It stays on just fine as long as your tongue is still or doing minimal movement.  The bummer is that once you start to tense your tongue up it starts to slip off.  This might leave you feeling limited in what you can do since you can’t really move your tongue a whole lot.  Essentially, you have to do is keep your tongue relatively still, rest your tongue on the corresponding point of interest and move your head around rather than flicking, licking, etc .  It isn’t really ideal, but you can get it done.

The sensation of vibration on the tongue was a bit odd, but I expected as much.  It’s a vibrator on your tongue!  It isn’t exactly an everyday experience and certainly wasn’t enough to ruin the mood!

For the most part we used this for cunnilingus, but you could also use this while giving a blow job if you were so inclined.  It was a bit too cumbersome for me, but it could definitely be used to tease his cock or any other area of his Lingo Tongue Vibebody you so choose.

The vibration strength was decent.  It definitely packed enough punch to give a decent amount of buzzy stimulation.  I will mention that this is true for all of the Screaming O products that I have tried. One might that that from the size and the fact they are disposable that there wouldn’t be much there.  They definitely represent for inexpensive little vibrators.  In a pinch, it would totally work as a finger vibe.

I’m not necessarily sold on the idea that you NEED to add vibration to oral sex.  For me, the awesome thing about oral sex is that you’re using your tongue (and other mouth parts) to supply pleasure to the receiver.  However, for the sake of trying something new it is totally awesome.  That is something I’m always down for and always encourage.

Thanks, Goodvibes!

Vibrating Corsette Harness

What could make sporting a strapped on cock even better?  How about the added benefit of vibration?  Yes please!

VibratingCorsette Harness

The Vibrating Corsette Harness from Sportsheets fits up to a 60 inch waist and comes with o-rings with widths of 1 ½, 1 ¾ and 2 inches.  The non-strappy part is made from a swirly velvet material that is machine washable.

The VCH, as I’ll call it for short, fits as snug and you want it to and doesn’t get loose during use.  It sits low on the hips, has a sexy femme look and looks great on.

I tested this thing with 2 Tantus cocks – The Curve and the O2 Revolution.  The Curve, being that it is much lighter than the latter, was perfect.  It stayed nice and erect with no sagging.  It did shift a bit, but I didn’t look like I was losing my wang when I wasn’t banging.  The O2 is a bit bigger and denser.  I definitely experienced a little bit of sagging and it wasn’t the best match for the VCH, but I gave it a go for a few minutes.  One day I shall find the perfect match for my weighty pink dildo!VibratingCorsette Harness - back

The removable vibrating bullet buzzes at medium speed.  The placement is roughly a couple of inches above your pussy.  There certainly wasn’t any pinpointed stimulation on your clit, but overall the added vibration was awesome.  It wasn’t super intense.  However, the pressure of the front part of the harness already feels awesome when it presses against clit and labia so the added rumble upped the fun quite a bit on that end.  Is it something I need every time?  No, but I’ll definitely take advantage of it more than a few times!

I definitely enjoyed using the Vibrating Corsette Harness with the smaller dildo.  I will say that anyone that prefers using larger dicks or that is a harness wearing veteran probably wouldn’t love this particular dildo holster.  Those looking for something pretty to wear when sporting a small to medium size schlong would absolutely get good use out of it.

Get your own Vibrating Corsette Harness from Good Vibrations!

The RodeoH

Who loves strap-on sex?  Who hates annoying straps that come loose while you enjoy strap-on sex?  Who loves comfy underpants?  Meeeeee!

Wow, I’m in love with my RodeoH Harness.  I was lucky enough to review this brand new item thanks to Babeland!  While this awesome bit of cloth serves the same purpose as your traditional harness – it holds your dildo in place while you bang, but there are no straps involved!  The RodeoH Harness is underwear with a built in o-ring for your cock.  It is a sexy pair of briefs made from 95% cotton and 5% spandex.  I got the red and black which I love and prefer, but they also come in black and grey.

RodeoH Harness


I float between 2 sizes and I went with the smaller of the two thinking the tighter the better and the more secure the dildo would be.  They fit me in terms of comfort, but my tummy does spill over a bit at the waist.  They feel fine on, but if I could go back I’d order the bigger size.  Of course this is in no way a reflection of the product!  In fact, I’d say this speaks well for it.  Even when they are snug they are comfy to wear, like your favorite pair of drawers.

The RodeoH is comfy and cute, but how does is stand up as far as practical use?  Pretty damn good.  I first used it with my beloved Tantus O2 Revolution (7.25 inches long, 1.25 inches wide) which is pretty dense and has some weight to it.  I did have a little floppage with this one.  It held up just fine during use, but it wasn’t quite up at attention when I was just hanging out.  I slipped my Tantus Curve – just like in the picture (6 inches long, 1 3/8 inches wide) in and it was nice and erect.  Moral of the story: light weight dildos fare better, but heavier ones work just fine.  RodeoH does suggest using 5-6 inch long dildos with 1 ½ to 2 inches in width.  I had to give my favorite dildo a whirl, whether or not it fit into the recommended specs.  I don’t see this as a problem unless you’re into slinging huge cock all of the time.RodeoH Harness

Between body fluid and lube, the RodeoH harness gets messy.  This isn’t the kind of thing you just thrown back in the toy box.  Per the directions, you hand wash or machine wash cold and hang to dry.  Drying will shrink it!  I hand washed.  I just felt better about not putting it into a machine.  I really love my RodeoH harness and would be sad if something happened to it!

Here is the size chart, which I would say is pretty on par:

XS: 23″-26″ hip
Small: 25″-29″ hip
Medium: 30″-34″ hip
Large: 34″-37″ hip
XL: 37″-40″ hip
XXL: 39″-41″
XXXL: 41″-43″

O-ring: 1-1/4″-2″ diameter (stretch)

Dildo not included!

The price is totally reasonable!

I am a big fan of this new product.  The RodeoH harness is comfortable and looks great on.  You can even wear it under your pants and slip your dildo in when the time arises.  So sexy and so very convenient.

Get your own RodeoH Harness!

Ignite Me Massage Candle – Morning Dew

I am excited to say that I had my first experience playing with a massage candle.  I’ll spare you the fluffy intro and get down to brass tacks.

Inside of the 2 ounce tin lives the tiny Ignite Me Massage Candle from Good Vibration candle made from soy wax, soybean oil, coconut oil, shea butter and fragrance oil.  It gave off a gentle scent that didn’t make me sneeze nor was I able to taste it at the back of my throat.  I was a little worried about this when I saw fragrance oil in the ingredient list!  This pleased me.  I’m not sure whether or not it smelled like morning dew (its self proclaimed scent), but it had a fresh clean aroma.  I lit the candle and left it in my bathroom for about 30 minutes to get the oils flowing, and to see if the scent would fill the small space.  When I returned, there wasn’t much of a smell in the bathroom at all.  I suppose this was good news for my tear ducks (strong scents tend to sting my eyeballs), but I was hoping to walk in to a yummy smelling bathroom.  This wasn’t a big deal, though.Massage Candle

After the 30 minute waiting period, there was a clean burning candle and a small pool of oil.  There was enough oil to massage my entire forearm.  I poured it into my hand and massaged it into my skin.  It was hot of course, but totally tolerable.  It felt nice on my skin, creating a nice smooth surface for massage. It wasn’t super greasy like baby oil or other regular massage oils, but I have nothing to compare it to in the way of candles.

The Ignite Me left skin feeling quite soft and moisturized.  I left it on my skin and it pretty much absorbed in about an hour or 2.  The faintest hint of “morning dew” scent was left behind, which was nice.  I can’t really say if there is enough goo in this small candle tin to give a full body massage, but there is definitely more than enough for a decent back massage.

I don’t want to make a bigger deal than necessary, but I definitely plan on handing this thing to my boyfriend to use up on my tired muscles.  I’d recommend this to anyone looking for a basic massage candle without an offensive perfumey smell.

Babeland Body Chocolate

I’m not the kind of girl that really brings food into the bedroom.  While I am a pretty sexually adventurous person, I usually draw the line at anything that will make me sticky, make a huge mess to clean up, or leave a weird taste or smell – all of which happen with food.  Don’t get the weird taste or smell comment?  Try bringing whipped cream into your sexcapades and tell me you don’t smell faint traces of spoiled milk when your bodies heat up?  Just saying.  Anyway, back to the task at hand, Babeland Body Chocolate.  Like I said above, I don’t usually bring food into the bedroom, so when this little tub of edible chocolate body spread came across my desk, I was a little hesitant to give it a go.  But just as nearly everything else that I’ve been nervous to test, Babeland Body Chocolate turned out to be pretty decent.

Before getting to anything else, I have to start with the sticky factor, because that is a major deal breaker for me.  After having my partner paint the chocolate onto my body and spend some time licking it off, I did the stick test – meaning I let his spit dry for a bit then patted my palm on the spot.  No stickiness!  Other edible body spreads I’ve tried have left weird stickiness and residue, but not Babeland Body Chocolate!

My other edible deal breaker is a product that makes a huge mess – and this spread does not!  The thick, chocolate- syrupy consistency the Body Chocolate made sure that it wasn’t runny at all.  No matter how much was glopped on, the chocolate stayed put.  This means it not only stayed mess free, we were also able to draw pictures, write messages and generally play all kinds of ways with chocolatey enthusiasm! And no sheets were harmed in the making of this review – a major bonus.  Also, even after an initial lick it stays pretty securely, resulting in many more licks needed for full removal.  No complaints there – especially because it doesn’t leave me sticky!

My only real gripe about this stuff is that even though it is vegan, all-natural/organic, fair trade dark chocolate, it has a bit of a weird/chemical aftertaste.  I can only really categorize it as a dollar store Easter chocolate taste, which I know sounds kind of strange, but I also think you know what I’m talking about.  And I’m not the only one that thinks that – my partner agreed, as well as the rest of the folks in my office (I passed in around for a finger dip taste test).

While it’s not as much as a deal breaker for me as the other stuff, I still don’t love the taste, which means it probably won’t get used quite as much as it would have if the taste was to die for.  Or maybe we are just chocolate snobs and anything that isn’t top shelf, 75% cocoa just doesn’t do it for us.  Either way, it’s not terrible, just a little bit on the cheap tasting side – at least to the mouths around me.

All in all, Babeland Body Chocolate is a decent edible toy that brings a little something extra to the bedroom!  Two out of three stars in my book.

Leather Thigh Dildo Strap

I’ve got more dildos than any one person really needs and some times a great older dong gets lost in the mix. Because of that, I always keep my eye out for a way to make an old toy new again and that’s why I was really excited to check out this Leather Thigh Dildo Strap from JT’s Stockroom.

It’s pretty simple, but kind of genius. It’s basically a belt that holds up your cock instead of your pants, which you probably won’t be wearing anyways. Two pieces of leather, connected by a removable O ring that fastens to anything you can wrap it around. I haven’t found a better use than a thigh yet, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or I’m not trying!

According to The Stockroom, my Leather Thigh Strap fits anything between nine and eighteen inches, although I’ve got mine wrapped around my trusty metal water bottle right now and I think that’s smaller than nine inches around. The good news is that as long as you keep an open mind, you won’t run out of ways to us this versatile harness too quickly.

You should know that it does come in three sizes, so you can get one that’s bigger depending on your needs. The medium fits anything between 11” & 20” and the large runs from 12” to 25”.

If you’re a fan of leather, you’ll be pleased with the quality of this. The black leather is soft & supple, and totally comfortable in my opinion. One thing I appreciate is the fact that the O-ring can be removed and replaced with any size you prefer. That means I can use any harness compatible dildo with this as long as I have a corresponding O-ring (which I totally do!)

I’ve tried this harness out with a few different dildos, including the Tantus Echo. If you like a dick with plenty of twists, you’ll love this 6½” by 1½” silicone toy. It even comes with a bullet vibe that can be inserted into the base for a little extra buzz too!

Overall, I think this is a really nice harness and much hotter looking than my old knee brace style one. I haven’t had any problems with chafing and we’ve already had a lot of fun thinking of new ways to use it!