If you’re looking for green aliens fucking chicks with long tentacles that squirt out ridiculous amounts of any color liquid you can imagine, stop reading. This movie is not for you. If you think you can handle a French masterpiece about dead bodies being taken over by horny aliens with powers of seduction and possession, then Fornicating Aliens, directed by Claude Pierson for Alpha France, is totally for you! Since the movie is in French with no subtitles, I’m limited in my knowledge of the plot and that can’t help but influence the review, but trust me, the visuals do more than their fair share of guiding you through the narrative. It actually feels more like a feature film with lots of love scenes than a porno flick, but for the 70s, I guess it fits right in. I got a little turned on at some points in the movie, but I was constantly entertained, and for me that’s important.
Scene 1 – Richard Allen & Ursula White
Right away, we have a dead chick in a coffin being carried away by two expressionless men who are accompanied by the grieving and handsome Richard Allen and gorgeous Ursula White. It took me a while to realize Richard was burying his previous wife with his current new, young lover on his arm (men!), but after a few minutes it comes together. I’m not sure how wifey #1, buried in the beautiful, white fur coat died, but the happy newlyweds wasted no time settling in to their new life. Richard and Ursula start kissing and getting hot and heavy in the living room when all of a sudden the dead wife pops up in the window-white, fur coat still on and everything. Of course, Richard bugs the fuck out, but by the time Ursula turns around, dead wife is gone. None of this stops the couple from consummating their wedding night. They probably chalked it up to dead spouse trauma or something like that.
Ursula White has that timeless beauty thing going, and her boobs are great, especially when she’s on top! The music is creepy and fits the theme of the movie, but definitely took me out of the mood. The sex between the newlyweds comes across as very passionate and romantic, and it enhances the plot, which of course is the point, but it also reminded me of my beef with classic porn. The plot comes first since much of the thought back in the day was to create a movie with penetrative sex scenes making up some of the plot as opposed to the sex being the focal point, so the camera angles aren’t exactly what I look for when choosing a porno to watch. You get very brief wide shots of the couple fucking, but mostly what you end up with are a lot of close up facials and close up hairy balls and vag. It’s not terrible, but I prefer seeing the whole picture most of the time. Also, the sex scenes aren’t very long since this is a “plot first” type of flick, but if you can manage to keep yourself in the mood, the sex is hot. Ursula makes great fuck faces and even though the audio is dubbed over, it matches so the moaning is cool. They stay in missionary for the most part, face to face like one would imagine newlyweds having sex, and they seem beyond comfortable with each other. They bust their nuts when all of a sudden Richard sees this shit…
…which has him all…
And once again, by the time Ursula turns around, dead wifey boo is gone!
Scene 2 – Richard Allen & Barbara Moose
Richard can’t shake seeing his dead wife, played by Barbara Moose, twice after burying her and ends up roaming the beautiful green fields of his huge estate, no doubt in search of some clue as to what’s going on. He comes across Barbara’s white, fur coat laying in the grass and a few yards away notices she’s sleeping in the grass. When he tries to approach her, she runs away. Makes sense since she’s supposed to be dead, right? Exactly what I thought, but when he finds her hiding in a cave on the property, she readily goes with him as if she was expecting to get caught. He attempts to communicate with her, and at first it sounds like she’s repeating everything he says, but eventually a conversation ensues and her voice is strangely robotic, like she’s being controlled as part of a larger group. Now it makes sense! This dead chick is possessed by aliens! I can’t tell if Richard realizes this with me, but what I do know is this fool is completely hypnotized by something exotic and beautiful in her that he can’t help but be drawn to. They kiss softly before walking off near a lake (this property is huge!).
As time goes on, you see Richard falling further under dead wife Barbara’s seductive spell, and before you know it, their naked bodies are intertwined in a really sexy fuck session that definitely got me going! Barbara and her long black hair are incredibly sexy and she goes crazy when Richard gropes her breasts. When she gets on top and rides him cowgirl while playing with her boobs I almost lost it. There’s nothing sexier than a woman turned on by herself! She fucks the shit out of him until he cums, but then something weird happens…
Richard is in a sex comma, dick still inside dead wifey Barbara while she’s off in a trance looking into space at something we as the viewer can’t see. At this point I don’t even give a shit what she’s looking at or thinking, I’m just trying to come to terms with the fact that I fucked an alien lakeside and loved it!
Scene 3 – Richard Allen & Ursula White
Ursula is busy cleaning the house when she stumbles across a blue bag containing the white, fur coat. She immediately recognizes it as the coat her husband’s wife was buried in, when the phone rings and shakes her out of her shock. I obviously don’t know what the phone call was about, but she sounded very scattered and concerned, the way one might when trying to carry on a conversation while still piecing things together.
Fast forward to Richard and Ursula making happy time in their marital bed. We don’t know if she talked to him about finding the fur coat or the mysterious phone call (mysterious to me because I can’t speak French), but because the director decided to cut straight to sex leads me to believe she didn’t say anything. The scene is hotter than the first with these two. The chemistry and passion still comes across in that classic porn way, but this time they explore more positions and get all acrobatic on our asses. Again, the sex, and in this case the scene in general, is really short, but I found staying in the mood a little easier for some reason.
Scene 4 – Alban Ceray & Barbara Moose & Richard Allen
After banging his hot wife all night, Richard still can’t seem to get Barbara off his mind, and honestly, who the hell would be able to!?! I don’t know how she died, but assuming he had nothing to do with it, you’d have to think he’s a little happy to see her. He did marry her after all. Plus, this chick is dead! How the fuck is she walking around the house!? And why his house!? Shit is real, so I can’t blame the man for going off and looking for her near the cave again. What I can blame him for is his response to this bullshit right here…
What the fuck is Alban Ceray’s hairy naked ass doing and why is he doing it with my man Richard’s dead wife? Is he dead too? What the hell is going on!? Richard is all up in arms behind the bushes and shit like this…
I was ready for a fight when Richard jumped out and started cursing everybody out, but after a comical stare off…
Alban ends up running off. None of that is my problem. I think Richard handled that brilliantly. He scared dude off after giving him the verbal business and hopefully told him to find some damn clothes. My beef is how you go from pissed the hell off to this alien seduction stuff right here…
Even if I do forgive your dead ass for having that naked dude on my property after we done had romantic lake sex, you’re sucking me off before I give you any type of nipple action! But oh no. Not Richard. Barbara’s smooth robotic talking works its magic again and Richard is stuck, all the way stuck! This man doesn’t stand a chance.
Meanwhile, back at the house, Ursula is going through something mentally because this woman pulls out a hand gun, makes sure it’s loaded, and stuffs it down in her purse. That could end very badly for Richard, but again, I have no idea what’s being said in this movie, so I can’t be sure.
Anyway, they do it in the butt for a while and Barbara goes crazy which was a huge turn on. Richard literally shakes his way through an orgasm and immediately falls back into relax/ sex coma mode. This time Barbara tries to walk away after putting him down, but Richard isn’t having that shit and grabs her arm before she can leave him. It looks like some Adam & Eve stuff to me.
Scene 5 – Ursula White & Alban Ceray
This is where things get extra Lifetime crazy. Ursula is walking through the cemetery, loaded gun still in her purse, when suddenly she stops to bend down and leaves the gun in the dirt. Now I’m wondering if she’s scared Richard is losing his damn mind and could possibly kill her (like he did his previous wife??) so she’s getting rid of everything dangerous in the house. While walking back to the car, she comes across Alban Ceray’s grave. Instantly Ursula knows that shit ain’t right and looks up only to find Alban standing behind her.
He hands her the gun back, they exchange words and strange intense looks, and Ursula damn near runs back to the car. Back at the house later that night, she and Richard have a heated conversation. It doesn’t seem like they’re arguing or at odds with one another, but more like they’re trying to figure something out and aren’t always seeing eye to eye. Ursula has to believe his tales now that she’s seen Alban, but since I’m not sure I don’t want to speculate too much. Richard storms out of the room by the end of it all, and Ursula can’t help but follow him. He unknowingly leads her to the cave and she runs into Alban’s naked, creepy ass. At first it looks like she really does think about running off, but just like Richard, she’s drawn to something seductive and uncontrollable within him and gives in to her curiosity.
Ursula’s body is taken by Alban right away and the whole thing is incredibly hot to watch. She’s a little more vocal with Alban, probably due to his alien penis, and the sex is really close and personal the entire time. She jumps on his dick like it’s about to save her life and even sheds a tear after the deed is done and he disappears to leave her standing there hugging the tree for dear life.
Scene 6 – Alban Ceray & Barbara Moose & Liliane Lemieuvre & Didier Aubriot
Ursula’s bliss doesn’t last very long because as soon as she opens her eyes she sees this shit…
A line of zombie-looking naked people is enough to have anybody running for the hills, which is probably why we don’t see Ursula anymore! The music is like 70s-everything-meets-aliens and the cult aspect of the sex is fucking perfect. This is definitely my favorite scene already. The group breaks out into pairs, and starts in on some type of synchronized fucking with Richard and Ursula lurking and watching from the bushes. I can’t lie, as entertaining as this scene was, it was impossible for me to participate. I was so captured by the music and caught up in the plot that I forgot to be horny. I completely transformed and went into movie watching mode, which was cool for me, but might not do it for you if you’re solely trying to rub one out. The foreplay and sex are definitely good, but all their faces are statues for the most part, concentrating on something outside of them instead of on the sex, so that contributed to the distraction. Great job by Liliane Lemieuvre and Didier Aubriot joining in on the action by the way. The fact that they all synced up is incredible. They actual fuck in rhythm with each other for the latter part of the scene, forming a semi-circle around a random statue. With girls still on dicks, the guys spin around and around as if calling out or making a gesture to something. Richard and Ursula eventually walk away, leaving me craving more group activities just to know what happens next.
Scene 7 – Richard Allen & Ursula White
Just like we started, we end with the newlyweds, but it’s nothing like I expected. Barbara comes to Ursula in her home and they exchange words. Ursula seems upset, but Barbara seems in need. She collapses on the floor with Ursula coldly watching her cry out in pain on the floor. She points a gun at Barbara and I’m just noticing babe is pregnant! Great, now there’s an alien baby, just what everybody needs! Richard walks up the steps just in time with a gun in his hands and shoots Ursula’s gun free. Richard kneels by her side while Ursula spews the angry woman song I’m assuming. It wouldn’t be a party if creeper Alban didn’t show up reciting something and pissing Richard off. To my surprise though, when Alban is done talking, Richard shoots Barbara, maybe to put her out of her misery or keep the child from being born, but either way I’m ready for some sex. Just as that thought crossed my mind, Alban shoots Barbara as she ran to him and I’m back in movie mode! This flick is crazy!
So now Ursula and Barbara are lying dead on the floor and Richard has nothing left to do but kill Alban. Of course, he talks his way out of it, none of which I can understand, but I was glued to the screen nonetheless. Good thing too because Richard uncovers Ursula’s tits and right then you notice the weird alien eye make-up already applied and realize what she’s become. The only thing I can’t figure out is who the hell is in her body! Richard doesn’t give a damn though. He just wants crazy passionate alien sex, and that’s exactly what he gets. The two fuck in the same field he first fucked Barbara in and the sex is just as intense. Ursula is wild and free, swinging her hair as she rides Richard’s cock, and it seems like she’s more in control than previously. There aren’t many positions explored but the sex they have keeps in line with the theme as both moan and move in tune with each other. Richard cums and finds himself back in that same trance (I’m convinced this is all he wanted in the first place) and after the pair exchange a few words, Richard pulls away happily and Ursula just stares off into the sky.
Overall I had a lot of fun watching Fornicating Aliens. It’s definitely worth a look if you don’t mind plot-centric classics that may accidentally take you out of the mood, especially when the plot is about horny aliens that take over dead bodies and fuck in the woods behind a mansion. Check it out and let us know what you think in the comments section below or hit me up on Twitter @authenticlezz1 and @hotmoviesforher. Until next time…