zaftig

Yes, it’s true.  Fat people are sexual beings (that’s right, I said fat, as in I am reclaiming the negative connotations around the word!).  And contrary to popular belief, we aren’t all hiding behind our clothes, afraid to get naked and fuck.  That’s right, your friendly neighborhood porn peddler is a fattie herself, a zaftig gal with a big body that totally loves giving and receiving pleasure.  And I love me some porno movies featuring the same thing.  What I don’t love is how weird porn can be about fat women, using shaming language and featuring them in derogatory ways.  Who ever said that being thin was the only right way to be, anyway?

On that note, I bring you Real Lesbian Sex Tapes, a movie offering up fat folks getting busy the ways we do!

This sixteen minute shorty opens up with Pink Mynx giving us a little guide to what we are about to see – which is her jerking off with a big, shiny purple dildo.  Before she gets going, someone off screen (which I assume is her partner) asks her why she is so nervous, to which she giggles and whispers to them to not talk.  Sure, it’s an insignificant part of the action, but one that struck me as super sweet and totally cute.

Within seconds, Pink has that big dildo moving in and out of her wet pussy, which is, in fact, so wet that we can easily hear all the delicious splashing.  It seems like she has totally forgotten that the camera is there and is now lost in a world of pleasure.  Finally as she gets close to coming, she looks at the camera, acknowledging how hot it is to masturbate for other people.  She gets off quietly, but you can see her whole body flush and tense – something that I find extra hot!

Pink only takes about seven minutes to get off, so what do we get with the other ten?  Some hot queer action!  Pink brings a friend into the mix. I assume it’s her partner, but this is porno, so they may just be her partner for the scene.  But that really doesn’t matter – the point is that they have chemistry and their heat is extra hot!  Pink contours her thick body in all sorts of positions, giving her friend perfect oral access to her sweet spot.  I love that her partner asks her ‘how bad do you want to come?’  So hot and dirty!

Soon they have another big, shiny dildo out and ready for action.  Pink gets up on her knees and offers her pussy up to the toy.  And boy, oh boy, does she get the fuck of her lifetime! Yum!  But not only that, her partner soon loses the toy and starts to fuck her doggie style with a strapped-on cock.  I tell you, there isn’t much hotter to me than a big belly slapping up against an ass.  What can I say, I love a belly, no matter what it’s up to.  And it looks like Pink feels the same way, because it does not take her long to explode into orgasm all over that dildo.  Sixteen minutes well spent.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that every porno is fat shaming or body-negative.  There are bunches of movies that bring us body diversity in exciting, sexy, positive ways.  Just look at the amazingness of April Flores, Courtney Trouble and Sophia St. James, to name a few.  I thank all those amazing companies for making sure that folks feel sexy at any size!

Watch “Real Lesbian Sex Tapes” Now!

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If zaftig porno queen April Flores isn’t your demographic, then that’s your loss.  Don’t worry, we don’t mind picking up your slack, we love this fabulous lady!

Swoon!

xoxo
-JD & Ginger

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What do you get when you mix hot zaftig ladies and fancy tattoo work?  Well, other than a giant girl boner in my pants, you get some seriously sexy action!  I saw this flick as I was perusing the site and just knew I had to get it under my belt (tee hee hee).  One look at Madison Mitchell on the box cover and I was totally sold.

Not only do I have a weakness for hot fat ladies and good tattoo work, I also really like 1950s stylings – meaning scene one had me at the start.  I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t all that interested in the other four scenes of this movie.  They are fine, but I just really enjoy watching Madison Mitchell pose for the camera – both in a bra/tutu combo and completely naked.  Yum to both!

The way the photographer has her strip slowly and continue posing for the camera totally drove me crazy.  Soon she realizes that this is more than just an innocent photo shoot and gets going to town on the dude’s cock, taking him all the way down her throat.  Girl has some blow job – and hand job – skills!

Sometimes the guy moves Mitchell around like a piece of sex furniture, which doesn’t do it for me (dude, just ask her to scoot over), but overall it’s a wicked hot scene.   I really love the way Mitchell comes while she is getting fucked doggy style.  Her eyes roll back in her head and all these delicious guttural moans come out of her mouth.  You know this lady is for real!  And don’ think this scene is a quickie or anything – these two bang for nearly 45 minutes.  Yep, that’s super hotness for a nice long sexy session.  Sold!

Alright, Madison Mitchell, I have your number.  You’ve got this perv’s attention.  Prepare to have your porno catalogue watched and reviewed!

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BBW, Curvy, Voluptuous, Plump, Fat – Whatever words you want to use, the fact can’t be denied that these zaftig ladies are super sexy porn goddesses.  Not only are they each so wicked hot, they are truly role models to fat chicks like myself.  Just seeing real, bigger bodies be visible on screen is so exciting and knowing that these women embrace their sexuality not in spite of, but along with, their bodies is such a major turn on!  Here are my top five Zaftikeh Moids (Yiddish for ‘sexy voluptuous women’) in porn!

April Flores: Who else would I start this list off with other than my ultimate porn queen, April Flores?!  April is super smart, amazingly sexy and full of delicious curves – a trifecta that pleases me to no end.  Plus most of her movies are off the beaten porno path, bringing art and creativity to the mix.  DEFINITELY check her out.  I can’t stress that enough.

Bunny De La Cruz: I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know nearly enough about Bunny De La Cruz.  All I know is what I see on her fanatic movies (like Voluptuous Biker Babes – so good!!) and I like what I see, so she makes my list!  If it’s wrong to be attracted to totally hot, chubby chicks, I don’t want to be right!

Sophia St. James: Sophia St. James has one of my all time favorite porno stories.  Basically, she was stuck in the couch with broken bones and stumbled upon the world of queer porn.  It didn’t take long (probably about as long as it takes to heal bones) for her to be on screen making those fabulous queer porns herself!  What a total hottie!

Courtney Trouble: Oh Courtney, what would the porno world be without all the movies you make?  Better question – what would MY life be without the intense hotness you bring to it?  Trouble is total trouble, directing some of the sexiest queer porn to ever hit the smutty screen.  She directs and stars in videos, works on both NoFauxxx.com and QueerPorn.TV, and throws amazing parties in San Francisco.  Seriously, this lady is amazing and must never sleep.  Keep your eyes peels for new stuff from Courtney Trouble coming our way!

Kelly Shibari: Kelly Shibari is so very, very hot.  So hot, in fact, that I am fantasizing about her rather than thinking about what to write here.  I think that says it all, huh?  Plus she runs a site called PaddedKink.com that’s all BBW (Big Beautiful Women) BDSM!  Yum.  Thank you, Kelly!

Also, I just want to note here that I don’t use ‘fat’ as a derogatory word here – I identify as fat and just use it as another word to describe hot bigger bodies.

I hope you enjoy these majorly hot mamas as much as I do!

xoxo
-JD

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Happy Humpday!  Welcome to the mid-week hump!  Things are getting back into the swing here at HM4Her now that Halloween is done and the holiday lights are beginning to rear their tiny, blinking heads.  It’s seriously November – when the hell did that happen?  Probably while I was busy watching all the ridiculously hot movies we’ve put up so far this season already.  Yeah, I know, my job sounds like such a bummer, right?  Anyway, welcome to the first Wednesday that November has to offer.  Let’s celebrate it right with a little link lovin’!

- Congrats to the SF Giants on their World Series win!  Nice World Series Champion cap, but what’s that on the back (front in this picture)… hmmm.  Again congrats to the wieners, um, I mean winners!

-  It’s the day after Election Day and many of us are stunned by some of the results, but luckily Fleshbot thought to have a quick and dirty Guide To Post-Election Porn ready and waiting for us to drown our political sorrows.

- While I hate that some stupid jerk wrote up a wholly offensive and fat-phobic women’s mag article about how gross it is to fat folks  on TV – especially when they kiss, I love that it has outraged folks enough to get them posting about it like wildfire.  My favorite of the posts I’ve read is queer porn dreamboat, Jiz Lee’s awesome post on promoting hot body positive porn! Thanks Jiz!  Hmmm, body positive porn… ok! Back to work! Read the rest of this entry »

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Hello. My name is J.D. Bauchery, and I am a queer fat femme. I don’t write about my own sexual exploits on the site too much, but today I thought I’d disclose a little bit and let you into my interworkings.

Last week I had the pleasure of taking in The Femme Show, a lovely spoken word/performance troupe that focuses on all facets of femme queer identity and everything gender-ific in general. Basically, it was pure awesomeness slung right up my alley. While the whole show was really lovely (I saw it twice!) and I enjoyed all of the pieces, there was one monologue in particular that struck a major cord with me and drilled right to the core.

It was Canadian artist Mylène St Pierre’s performance about being a fat femme AND a sexual being. Not just a sexual being – a kinky, sexy, aggressive, ACTIVE participant in her sex life. She explains that being fat does not mean she is desperate or willing to fucking anyone that gives her the littlest bit of attention. She is in control of her sexual destiny and refuses to bend (over) to anyone’s notions of how she should behave. And it was one of the first times that it really struck me – this is such a shared experience for fat women.

(Note:  The word fat is not offensive to me.  I know it is for some people, but I’m all about appropriating words that have been used as insults against me in the past.  So yeah, I also identify as a perv.)

Sure, I’ve talked about sex with some of my fat femme friends before (my life revolves around sex, after all), but I don’t think we’ve ever touched on the specific experience of the fat sex expectation before, and how we think about ourselves within a sexy situation. But after that loud and proud, overtly out there monologue about that exact experience, I can’t help but want to bring it here for all to see and create our own shared space for talkin’ about hot fat femme fucking! Read the rest of this entry »

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Happy Humpday!  Welcome back to the mid-week stretch.  And what a stretch it is.  There’s nothing quite like coming back to reality after a long weekend away.  Even though my inbox wasn’t as crazy as it could have been, the week after a break still seems like it’s about 3 weeks long.  But now we are officially in December – the month of giving!!  So, let’s start this month off right with a gift that keeps on giving… Link Love, of course!

- Linger, an internal feminine flavoring, brings a minty taste to your lady parts.  While this is a no for me because it’s a yeast infection risk, I’m also under the firm impression that vag should taste like vag.  (via TresSugar)

- This just in – Chosen chicks are hot.  I mean, I’ve known this since before my own Bat Mitzvah, but it’s nice to see that Details agrees.  Plus they tapped Joanna Angel to comment and come up with her own Do/Don’t list for dating a JILF.

- Zaftig chicks are also hot… and making some $ in the industry.  I am 2 for 2 today and loving it!  And it includes April Flores!  Swooon!

- So, apparently gay folks are good enough to decorate The White House for Christmas, but not good enough to share a legally married life with someone they love… well, that seems like a fair trade.  Sigh. (via SUNfiltered)
Read the rest of this entry »

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It’s Friday again.  TGIF for reals!  This week’s rewind is near and dear to my heart.  Back when we started the MTR (in 2007, can you believe it!?!), I featured one of my favorite bands, The Gossip.  I don’t even think we were moved over to this blog yet, so I’m having trouble finding the old post, but I love The Gossip and their frontlady Beth Ditto.  Not only is Ms. Ditto an amazingly talented singer with a deep soulful voice, she is a badass fat queer gal that makes no apologies and has no interest in toning it down or changing as she gains fame.  And I say ‘Amen!’ to that! 

The Gossip have a new album out and are all over the place with new videos and a tour (I’m seeing them in October! Hurray!) – so I thought I’d rock a little new Gossip your way with Heavy Cross.  Get ready to chair dance.

Enjoy and have a great weekend!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

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Contrary to what TV and movies tell you, fat chicks actually do have sex, and plenty of it. And we aren’t hiding in the dark, ashamed of our stretch mark-laden breasts and thick thighs. We are too busy making sure our partners are getting off and showing them exactly how to hit our g-spot juuuuust right.

One of the industries I would expect to know that is the sex toy industry. Sure, most sex toys are pretty much one size fits most when it comes to getting off. The majority of people can touch that vibe to their clit, or play with one of the million size dildos that each company offers, but the toy that I’m interested in talking about here in the strap-on harness. While harness come in a variety of different styles – from the double straps around the leg jock strap model to the g-string-esque, through the legs sort, they don’t always come in sizes that work for bigger bodies. The average maximum waist size of the harness I’ve checked out is between 40” and 50”. Those sizes may fit a bunch of people, but they aren’t getting me fucked, so really, I’m not interested in those harnesses, or companies that only serve smaller bedfellows.
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Being a professional sex toy reviewer has its ups and downs. Sure, I have more dildos, vibes and butt plugs than I know what to do with, but on the other hand, I have more dildos, vibes and butt plugs than I know what to do with. Really how many dicks does one girl need? I only have 2 holes! Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from complaining, it’s just that I like a little bit of variety in my sex toys, just like in my sex life. That’s why I get extra excited when I have the chance to review something totally different.

This time, asked to pick my own selection, I chose to review something I’ve never really tried before – lingerie. While I don’t think it’s something that people think about buying on a sex toy site, EdenFantasys actually has a pretty big variety to choose from. As well, they carry sizing for us zaftig gals, which automatically wins brownie points in my book. I decided to go with DreamGirl’s Satin Chemise Set in black – a three piece package of satin, lace and sexy goodness. Read the rest of this entry »

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