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Tommy Pistol
Written by: J.D. on September 13th, 2011
“When you’re alone, and life is making you lonely, you can always go – downtown. When you’ve got worries, all the noise and the hurry, seems to help, I know – downtown…” Yep, downtown, where things are great, especially when you have hot ladies that are raring to go – and that’s just what you get in Downtown Girls Volume 3.
 Not only does this Zero Tolerance Entertainment flick feature some of the hottest performers in the industry, it shows them having super sexy romps in a variety of “downtown” themed vignettes. To be honest, I’m not quite sure what they means by “downtown” themed, other than possibly sophisticated, but other than a few words quickly scrolling along the screen, the whole “downtown” thing doesn’t even come into play. What it all comes down to is lots of pussy pounding, hip thrusting action that results in an assortment of deliciously powerful orgasms all over the screen.
I think my favorite of the five scenes was definitely scene 4, with Tommy Pistol and Angel Vain. There is something so dopey and charming about Pistol that is a total turn on, especially when he starts repeating over and over again “Oh my god, your pussy is amazing. Oh my god, your pussy is awesome.” It’s like he hasn’t has sex a million and a half times. How endearing is that? Or is it just me? Either way, the sex they have is really fucking hot – mixing up a bunch of different positions and activities, which is always a treat. It’s not listed as a “hot scene” for nothing!
Watch “Downtown Girls Volume 3″ Now!
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Written by: admin on February 6th, 2010
Today’s Retro Review is from one of our favorite ladies in porn, Joanna Angel. Before everyone in the world was making goofy spoofs, Angel and her friends were combining humor with hot XXX and the results were totally hot. Check out what Venus had to say about Joanna Angel’s Guide 2 Humping back in 2007.
Whenever Joanna Angel makes a movie, it’s always a must-see: she always gets my favorite performers (male and female) and you know it’s going to be totally fun and totally hot. This one is no exception. In “Joanna Angel’s Guide 2 Humping”, she teaches a course to a class of crazy characters on… take a guess.
It’s not quite an instructional movie, although the beginnings of the video scenes are like campy 50′s educational shorts… turned into a hot punk-girl on punk-girl playtime culminating into some double dildo penetration and strap-on action (as in scene 2). Tommy Pistol plays the funniest characters which honestly makes me want to see him naked and humping even more (he’s super cute too, which is a big factor there too), but the best scene is the final, when Joanna confronts James Deen and their chemistry heats up in a dark room for some rough fucking sex. A+
-Venus
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I feel like I should come clean before reviewing this movie – I never watched Borat. I’ve seen a million clips since it came out, but I just never felt compelled to invest a couple of hours on it.
When I saw that the awesome Tommy Pistol was starring as Horat, I knew I had to check this one out. Pistol is, in my opinion, one of the best actors in adult. His performances in Re-Penetrator and the XXXorcist proved that he’s more than a just a funny guy with a big dick.
Anyways, I’m sure you can deduce the basic plot of this spoof without my help, but for those of you who are more sheltered from pop culture than I, I’ll break it down quickly. Horat is sent to America by the Government of “Kaksuckistan” to learn about Western Sexuality and, of course, hilarity ensues.
My favorite scene has to be Gia Paloma’s (Pistol’s wife & baby mama) beating the crap out of Pistol in a giant bear costume. It’s probably not a great sign that I enjoyed a silly skit more than most of the sex scenes. I mean, they aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that really stands out about them either. If Pistol wasn’t in this porn, I probably would have stopped watching, but his performance is strong enough to carry the movie.
My favorite XXX scene was the final in which Horat learns about swinging from Daniel Unk and Nautica Thorn. Unk is a newcomer, but very hot and Thorn handles both men like the pro she is. When Unk gets her up on all fours so he can drill her doggystyle while she sucks off Pistol, I immediately forgave the lame jokes that set up the scene.
If you loved Borat, you’ll probably think this is a terrific movie. I’m pretty sure I didn’t love it for the same reasons I didn’t really want to see Borat.
P.S. This might be worth seeing just to check out Pistol in the infamous neon bathing suit in the closing minutes.
-The Porn Librarian
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Written by: J.D. on December 16th, 2008
One thing that the adult world is sorely lacking is Hanukkah porn. Seriously, type “Christmas” into the search box on this site and a ton of movies pop up. Try that with the festival of lights and all you get is a big fat nothing. Not that it’s our fault, by any means, for some reason no one wants to get down and dirty with a dreidel. No one one, that is, except my favorite Jewish porno goddess, Miss Joanna Angel.
Raised in a orthodox household, this chosen chick lets everyone know about her love of lighting her menorah. So instead of getting ready for the holiday by talking about my favorite Hanukkah fuck flicks (which amount to a whopping zero), I decided to give some love to Joanna, the one who melts my gelt and sizzles my latkes.
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Written by: J.D. on October 28th, 2008
For me, horror movies and porn go together like peanut butter and jelly. They just work so well as a team. And with Halloween coming up just around the corner, I get plenty of excuses to watch and write about as many scary sex flicks as I want! Sure, some of those ’80s porns with big hair and lots of rouge are pretty scary themselves, but when it comes to fright night, these Top 5 Halloween pornos are what I want to see. Blood, guts and boning! Happy Halloween!
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I’m going to have to fuck… the hell out of you!
In this Burning Angel spoof of William Peter Blatty’s classic, The Exorcist, Tommy Pistol plays a priest who has tried every exorcism spell approved by the church, and resorts to a non-sanctioned ritual to save the soul of Joanna Angel – The Sexcorcism!
To begin, let me just say for the record, the last thing I would ever to is still my theoretical dick down the devil’s throat, even if he was possessing Joanna Angel. Pistol is a man on a mission though, and that’s exactly what he does. After a bit, he determines that this isn’t going to be enough to expel the devil, and after crossing her across the face with his cock, begins to pound away in hopes of saving the poor girl. Pistol and Angel, who have been dating forever, are always hot together and this scene is no different. In the end, Pistol is left lying in a puddle of demon ejaculate on the floor after a spectacular squirting finale!
I could go on and on about this original fuck flick, but I don’t want to ruin all of the good stuff. Let me just say you have plenty to look forward to as a man risks his life to save a soul.
Fans of horror flicks and Joanna Angel will love this spoof, but I will warn you that this is a pretty rough flick. If you don’t want to see demon vomit (because it wouldn’t do justice to the original without it) and their version of the cross masturbation scene, I’d suggest checking out this review of My Girlfriend’s A Vampire. It’s a great holiday flick without the rough stuff.
Also make sure you check out their spoof H.P. Lovecraft’s 80′s horror flick Re-Animator this Halloween, the award-winning Re-Penetrator.
-The Porn Librarian
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I’ve reviewed a lot of spoofs over the past year and thought it would be appropriate to highlight my favorites. I found out last weekend at a family wedding that porno spoofs are totally appropriate conversation for mixed company. By “mixed company” I mean my grandmother, my Republican uncle and a number of other people I try not to ever talk about sex with. My brother-in-law was complaining about not seeing the new Batman because of the wedding, so I immediately brought up Batdude and Throbbin’ – a total classic. My grandmother, who hears a lot when she wants to, overheard and before I knew it the entire family was discussing the many merits of Sex Trek and The Sperminator.
So, in no particular order, here are some of my favorites!
Not Another Porn Movie
I love this one because it’s making fun of porn! When you combine every ridiculous stereotype and fuck-up you’ve seen in porno over the years with totally hot sex, you can’t really go wrong. After all of the boom mics and bad plots you’ve ignored in the past, you owe it to yourself to finally see the pizza guy really give it to a cash-strapped college girl!
Not The Bradys XXX
This was one of the biggest movies of last year for obvious reasons. I mean, who hasn’t thought about Marcia down on her knees in a deep shag rug? This one has a stellar cast, great sex, and all of the campiness of the original television show.
Goosed For 3! – A Bisexual Love Affair
This is a really clever movie that brings some of your favorite childhood Mother Goose characters to live – hardcore! The best thing is that Nina Hartley plays a super dirty Mother Goose. Plus it’s a totally queer flick that has hot straight, gay and lesbian scenes!
Re-Penetrator
I love this one just for the sheer entertainment factor. Fans of cheesy horror flicks will love this spoof as Joanna Angel and Tommy Pistol recreate Re-Animator. Lots of sex, blood, and rock and roll.
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 We had so much fun reviewing Erika Lust’s latest film scene by scene that we’re doing the same for Joanna Angel’s Not Another Porn Movie. The queen of alt-porn has taken it upon herself to spoof every ridiculous porno you’ve ever had the misfortune to watch. The first scene features Tommy Pistol as a pizza guy (of course) who’s ready to deliver. The opening is brilliant as Angel loses her shit over the protesters set up outside the shoot. The entire scene is hilarious, but you shouldn’t overlook this little gem in the dialogue: “It’s just porn. How can something so stupid be targeted for having such serious effects on the world?” Amen, sister! There are also a number of little things I really appreciated, like the boom mic being in the shot (I’ve seen that a million times) and I laughed out loud when the sex begins and the camera pans to a three piece band playing a typical porno beat. Of course, I should talk about the sex. It’s a great scene that features Pistol serving up the sausage to Pinky Lee. The sex is pretty straight forward, but definitely hot as Lee pays for her pizza the only way she can. Just for the record, I delivered pizza for two summers and got nothing but religious tracts and grief about how long it took.
-The Porn Librarian
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Written by: J.D. on November 5th, 2007
I’d totally be an evil villain if that meant that Joanna’s Angels would come after me. Sure, it’d be to kick my ass, but really, does that matter? I’ve got a total weakness for inked chicks, so watching a girl with tattooed knuckles finger an asshole might be the hottest thing I’ve seen in a while. Not to say that Joanna’s double penetration with Tommy Pistol and James Deen in scene 8 is anything but impressive, but I’d expect nothing less from someone as awesomely tough as Miss Angel herself. So, whether she’s kicking my ass or bustin’ out the “magic handjob,” count me in.
-J.D. Bauchery
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