Alright, I’ll admit it – I’ve already reviewed this movie before. But that was about a million years ago (back in 2008), and it recently came up again when I was hanging out with some friends, talking about fisting. I know, fisting is a weird segue into Edward Penishands, but hey, truth is stranger than fiction, right? Anyway, I was totally blown away the first time I watched this movie and was just as excited when I made my friends gather around my computer and watch a few clips. Clearly I have a hard time leaving my work at work. When I brought this masterpiece back to the front of my brain, I just knew I had to revisit it on the site and make sure that the most people possible have this hilarious/awesome porn in their lives. What can I say – you can just call me Mother Theresa.
As you guessed it, Edward Penishands in a spoof on the amazing Tim Burton movie from 1990, and better yet, it was made only a year later in ’91, so the camp is dated as it should be. I’m so serious when I say this is one of my favorite pornos. Sure, I’m not gonna go jerk off to it, but for me, that’s not the point. The fact that I want to watch it over and over again is what does it for me. It’s like the extra dirty version of the obsession I had with Dirty Dancing when I was younger. Anyway, back to the review…
Edward Penishands follows the same story as the original, featuring an inventor that creates a man, but dies before being able to finish him, leaving large penises where his hands should be. And who should find him but a saleslady selling her wares door-to-door, who finds out that he is all alone, fucks his penis hands and his crotch penis and then brings him home.
Ok, let’s touch on a few things before we go any further. First, yes, he does ejaculate out of his penis hands – a lot. Second, yes, his penis hands go look like turkey drumsticks. And third, yes, his wrists look like wrinkled, vein-y ball sacks. That all makes you want to watch it even more, right? Thought so.
So, saleslady brings Edward home and he gets busy with all the neighborhood biddies, one on each dick arm, which is pretty impressive. We even get a little hand-to-hand jerk off action where his hands spurt all over the place (this is my favorite part). The saleslady’s daughter is totally creeped out by him, but eventually has a change of heart and lets him shower her with his come. All’s well that ends well.
The whole thing is surreal and ridiculous and totally amazing. I give it two big penis thumbs up!
This year, the AVN Awards are all about the parodies – even going as far as to have parody porns get their own category. And because we are reviewing a few of this year’s nominees (the actual awards are this coming weekend), what better to review than one of the many parodies nominated. Then, of course, it took a while to figure out which one to review, because there are way more than a few – and we’ve already reviewed a bunch as well. Finally I decided on This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX. I mean, honestly, how could I not? In fact, I was pretty blown away that we hadn’t actually reviewed it yet.
Snapping up six 2012 AVN nominations (Best Parody – Comedy, Best Screenplay – Parody, Best Actor – Evan Stone, Best Special Effects, Best Art Direction, and Best Cinematography), this ‘80s movie pornofied features a bevy of household names like Evan Stone, James Deen, Ron Jeremy, Alexis Texas and more. When you pair that with direction by renowned parody maker Axel Braun, you know you are going to get something good.
Now, it’s been a minute since I watched the original Ghostbusters, but from what I can tell, this dirty version does an excellent job of mixing the authentic awesomeness with lots of naughty action. And Evan Stone really is fucking hilarious as Bill Murray’s Dr. Peter Venkman. I guess since Ghostbusters is a pretty famous flick, they really didn’t need to bother with too much back story before starting in on the sexin’. Within 5 minutes Stone has his giant cock all the way down Lily LaBeau’s creamy throat. And about 5 minutes after that scene is finished, Alec Knight has his pants around his ankles and is screwing the very dead Alexis Texas, who is a ghostly maiden inhabiting the public library. I guess that’s one way to catch a ghost, right?
Soon after, we meet Dana Barrett (Raven Alexis) who’s having some trouble with her apartment being haunted. Oh, you know, the same old ghostly activity of slinging hot dogs all willy-nilly at Dana and inhabiting a refrigerator and turning it into a tear in space/time/universe. So, who does Dana call? That’s right, the Ghostbusters! *Cue theme music here* And while that’s awesome and all, the one I’ve really been excited to meet shows himself in scene 3 – Slimer! That’s right, the green guy appears and slimes all over Evan Stone, and then jerks his slimy cock as they zap him into their little ghostly vault. Very impressive special effects as well (definitely deserving of the nomination).
Ok, back to Dana, who is now Zuul. “There is no Dana, only Zuul.” (Man, I forgot how much I love that line – hilarious.) Peter Venkman is super into Dana and finds himself fucking Zuul now. Yum. Alright, It seems that I’ve veered off into nostalgia and am going all over the place with this review. You basically need to know three things about this flick to really sum it up:
It’s pretty fucking hilarious and if you like the original Ghostbusters and you like porn, you’ll like this.
The sex is really seriously hot. Everyone who fucks is really hot too.
This movie basically deserves all the nominations it got.
That’s it. Now go watch, because it’s amazing and you should definitely see for yourself.
I’m going to be totally honest with you guys here – I don’t love a porno parody. Whenever I choose to review a parody, I sit down and steel myself for what I am expecting to be a less than stellar adult experience. Yes, I am generalizing here, but when you think about it, I have watched my fair share of spoof porns, and I’d say that I’m a pretty good judge.
Anyway, we aren’t talking about porno parodies in general here; we are talking about Bridesmaids – XXX Porn Parody. And just as with all the other parodies, I readied myself to be disappointed. But surprisingly, I wasn’t.
Alright, I’ll admit that the sex was just as random and uneventful as every other porno parody I’ve watched, but the spoofing part was really fucking funny. Smash Pictures totally got my favorite character (Megan, of course) right. I mean, take a look at this clip and tell me it’s not seriously hilarious!
Brilliant! Now, as for the sex… well, it was sex. Who watches porno parodies for the sex, really? I mean, let’s be honest here – porn parodies are for checking out to see your favorite shows and movies remade with worse acting. It’s just true. After taking a few minutes to watch that part of it, most folks probably stick around for the sex. But really, I can’t imagine too many people reaching for a parody to just get in and get off. I may be dead wrong, but I doubt that I am.
I will say that when it came to the fucking, I was excited to watch Katie St. Ives get her freak on. Damn is that girl hot! She gets busy in scene one with Anthony Rosano, who I could take or leave – but Katie, take take take! Those blue eyes and pouty lips – yum. Wait, where was I? Oh right, I was talking about how boring the sex in parody porn is… well, I mean other than this scene, or any other featuring Kate St. Ives.
So, if you liked the real Bridesmaids movie (I did) and are interested in seeing a pretty funny, sexi-fied version, it looks like you’ve found it!
Every once in a while all I want to do is talk about the movies that I haven’t had the chance to watch yet. With such a big catalog of movies to choose from and new ones that come in daily, I don’t always have time to check out flicks that catch my eye. Wisely, I do keep a list of titles that I know I need to return to, but sometimes it takes a little longer than expected to get there. So today, I wanted to hold myself accountable and share some of the videos that top my must-see list!
Twisted Getaway: Not only is this awesome queer fuckfest a 2011 Feminist Porn Awards Honorable Mention, it’s also directed by the amazing Sophia St. James AND is chock full of a whole cast of super hot folks that I’ve never watched fuck. If I don’t watch this movie soon, I will need to turn in my queer porn connoisseur card!
Sex World: Back a few weeks ago when I reviewed the remake of this 1978 movie, I had no idea there even was an original. It was only when someone commented on the old one did I get that I was watching a second version. And after really enjoying the new one, I decided that I obviously need to watch the original. I just haven’t had time!
Queer Porn TV: James Darling + Wolf Hudson Part 1: Ever since Courtney Trouble brought her latest project TROUBLE FILMS to HotMoviesForHer, this particular porn reviewer has been in a constant state of arousal. It is DEFINITELY time to give these flicks more than a few minutes of my attention. STAT.
Official Silence of the Lambs Parody:All of the issues I have with parody/spoof movies aside, I have a total soft spot for Silence of the Lambs, my own personal favorite scary movie. And the fact that they made a porno version is both extra horrifying and completely awesome. So creepy/wonderful.
Hot For Teacher:Alt princess Joanna Angel is a sex ed teacher ready to give a few hands on lessons. I want to watch ASAP – clearly because I just love sex ed so much that I will concentrate on that… not Joanna Angel getting screwed six ways til Sunday, I swear!
This week my co-blogger Ginger Leigh is out on vacation. Not only do I miss her (she sits within arm’s reach of my desk and puts up with my chatter), I am more than a little envious of her out of the office chill out time. Yes, I’ve been out of the office as well recently, but nothing about that was relaxing – all work work work. Hell, I don’t even need to go anywhere! I am totally fine with holing up in the house and having myself a much needed staycation! While that’s not on the horizon, I still wanted to get my dreams going, so I’ve decided to grace y’all with my top five smutty picks for when I will lock the doors, turn off the phone and spend a few days staycationing and enjoying popsicles and porno!
Twisted Getaway: I seriously cannot BELIEVE that I haven’t watched this queer orgy extravaganza yet! A 2011 Feminist Porn Awards Honorable Mention, this delicious fuckfest features a whole host of hotties that I’ve never seen naked before, including the film’s director Sophia St. James. Are you surprised this topped the list??
Official Revenge Of The Nerds Parody: Oh parodies, sometimes I love you, sometimes I loathe you. This staycation, I’ve decided you are cool, especially when you are created by Philly guys Brian Bangs and Spock Buckton, who make hilarious movies. Plus, how the hell could I pass up a Revenge Of The Nerds spoof?!? I am only human, after all.
Eden: Sure, I might get a little jealous of those beautiful beaches and sparkling ocean (though not the getting fucked on them – I am anti sand sex), but at least I know that I won’t get eaten by a dinosaur while laying in my bed! You heard me, there is a DINO at the every end of the movie!! Sorry for the spoiler, but you had to know to make sure you watch it!
Lesbian Love Vol. 1: Don’t think for one second that I’ve forgotten about my hardcore crush on Michelle Aston. She is the insanely hot smart cookie that rules my porno dreams and it just so happens that this is my favorite scene featuring her. Of course I am bringing it into the bed with me!
Artcore: Sometimes when you staycation, you want to keep your friends close, so why not just bring them along in super hot porno form?!? I love me some April Flores, Courtney Trouble and Drew Deveaux, both on screen and in the real world (sorry, I don’t know Kelly, Damali or Hoodman personally, though I do enjoy their screentime), and I think it’s super exciting that they are all fucking in one extra hot flick! Woohoo!
Here’s to wishing and hoping I get my relaxing day off to hide away and get my porno on!
Since today is Friday the 13th, you really do need to take a look at this awesome horror flick parody porn. I mean really people, they make Camp Crystal Lake into a nudist retreat. Can you beat that? Not likely.
It doesn’t happen very often, but every once in a while I am totally speechless. I new this was coming - hell, I even posted the trailer a while back, but now that it’s here, that’s a whole different story. Oh porno industry, sometimes I can’t believe you went there…
So yeah, I have no words for this, other than – really??
Even we don’t have enough hours in the day to watch all of the porn we want. I’ve got a list that’s been getting longer for the five years, but thought today I’d highlight some of the movies that have been added to HotMoviesforHer.com in 2011 that I really want to see.
Prison Girls : I’m a sucker for prison movies and just about anything Elegant Angel puts out, so I’m pretty excited to see what happens when you combine the two. I’ve heard very good things about the Bobbi Starr and Lily Labeau lesbo scene too!
Joanna Angel Loves Orgies: When it comes to the Burning Angel girls, I say the more the merrier! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a BA movie that wasn’t super funny and sexy as hell, so how can you go wrong with piles of girls & boys going at it? The fact that I’ll get to see both Andy San Dimas and Kleio naked sounds promising also.
Scooby Doo – A XXX Parody: When I was six years old, I quit ballet and one of my reasons was that I missed Scooby Doo. I loved that show, so it only seems fair that I give the spoof a chance to rock my adult world. There was a point when I was mad at the XXX world for tainting all of my childhood memories, but I’m way past that and ready to watch the gang get it on!
Alpha Femmes: JD reviewed this movie when it first came out, but I still haven’t found the time to check it out and it’s driving me crazy! This 2011 Feminist Porn Award Nominee stars a ton of my favorite performers and looks absolutely amazing. I might have to make a movie date with my girl in the very near future.
Visions Of Clair : You have to wary of porn descriptions a lot, but when I read the first line of this one, I knew I had to at least give it a chance – A film in the style of Emmanuelle, but with a raw passion of The Story of O. Sounds pretty good, right? Plus you know I love me some classic XXX.
I figured that someone should review the new XXX spoof of the legendary Elvis’ career, so I spent the morning watching the King in action.
First up, let me send a shout out to Dale Debone who did a nice job playing the old Elvis. I mean, Warner Bros. won’t be begging him to play in a new bio flick, but it was porno good and appreciated!
So this one basically goes through a number of milestones in Elvis’ career, which is why we start off with Jay J. (as young Elvis) instead of Debone in scene one where Lexi Belle plays Ann Margaret and they get it on during the shooting of “Viva Las Vegas.” There’s an amusing song and dance to kick off the scene, but they don’t waste too much time getting to the XXX. It wasn’t my favorite scene, but worth mentioning just because I loved Viva Las Vegas!
Scene two was my favorite because porno James Dean finally got to play iconic bad boy James Deen as he bangs Jessi Palmer on the set of the least bad ass movie of all time, rebel Without A Cause. Also, James Dean is awesome. There’s a pretty sloppy bj before he drills her pussy and ass. Palmer has a lot of energy and seemed to be able to take everything Dean had to offer!
I was surprised but pleased to see Tyler Knight show up as Mohammed Ali. The G.O.A.T takes on Asa Akira and Jessica Bangkok in the ring and surely does sting like a bee. Akira really stood out in this hot threesome.
Finally, we get old Elvis and since America loves a train wreck, the movie couldn’t have been made without DaBone in the classic white jumpsuit. Codi Carmichael plays Marilyn Monroe and Dabone and Alec Knight really work her over. In the end she takes a couple of loads to the face in a ending that would make the Kennedy brothers proud.
I should mention that Andy San Dimas also plays Priscilla on her wedding day. I love her, but Jay J. just didn’t have what it takes in my opinion.
Overall, this is a fun porno that has a ton of celebrity “cameos” I wasn’t expecting. Knight was especially good as Ali. Between him, Monroe, and Deen there’s someone for just about everyone thrown into this XXX movie.
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