I had to review Private Paare Ganz Intim 3. Not because someone told me to. Not because I heard it was good. Not because it looked particularly interesting. Not because my favorite performers were involved. I was compelled to watch it because it is a soft core German porno. I don’t generally care for soft core porn, but the idea of a German porn being anything other than hardcore insanity is just something I have to get my smut laden eyes on. Of course all types of porn exists all across the spectrum, I just have personally never seen a soft core German porno.
Paare Ganz Intim 3 translates to “very intimate private couples”. I’m not sure if these are real couples, but they sure are private. As you would expect from a soft core porno, no genitals are shown. It looks as though they are really doing it and have placed themselves in just the right positions to conceal any all of the goings-ons. It might have actually been hot in a no penetration kind of way, but the music totally turned me off. Imagine hotel lobby music from 1992 having sex with La Bouche and then giving birth to little music baby. That was the soundtrack to this porno.
There are 3 scenes total. Each couple has sensual sex, always edited and positioned to maintain soft core status. I would have to say that scene two is the stand out scene. The counter top “sex” is fun to watch and the redhead is just delicious. I like the way the third scene starts with a little solo masturbation action, but when the feaux sexing begins there were a few moments where I just wasn’t convinced that the lady half of the pair just want terribly into it. Whether hard or soft, I prefer my porn with committed performers.
Paar Ganz Intim 3 defintiely doesn’t get movie of the year, but if you’re into soft core then you would enjoy it.
Any porn that automatically makes me think of Tom Jones is A-OK in my book. Sure, the title of this flick is the only thing it has in common with Mr. Jones, but even without that connection, Sex Bomb (the porno) holds its own as awesomely bizarre classic.
Before I even get to the movie, let me warn you that this is a softcore movie, so don’t go expecting any explicit action. This is definitely more Skinemax than hardcore XXX, but honestly, the sex isn’t the point here – it’s the serious weirdness of this flick that makes it so amazing.
Basic premise: a big shot producer is making a bunch of low-budget softcore horror movies (one which is called “I Rip Your Flesh With Pliers,” which I would TOTALLY see if it was real) and the screenwriter starts banging the big shot’s wife. And then they kill the husband. There is so much more than that, but honestly, I don’t even know how to explain it other than saying it is super strange ‘80s softcore. And you need to watch it. Seriously, the ‘80s totally vomited on this movie, which also endears it to me even more.
I was in the mood for some XXX action when I started thinking about a movie to review today, but even though I missed out on some fucking, I definitely did not get the raw end of the deal. Check this weird one out!
This one is for everyone out there who loves to drool over big, muscular men. I may not sleep with men, but I can surely appreciate the results of years of hard work of weight training.
For those of you who are looking for hardcore, you probably aren’t going to be interested in this Colt Video release. However, if you love watching a hulking stud model and pose showing off every inch of his sculpted body, you’re going to love Legendary Bodies 2.
First up, we’ve got Johnny Cruise, who looks like an army major and has the body of a god. For over thirty minutes, you can watch him strip down and flex while the sun shines down on every muscle. After he peels off his blue speedo, we learn he’s big everywhere! Whether he’s showing off his biceps or floating on a pool lounge, he’s a wonder to watch!
Skye Woods shows off for us next and is the biggest of the four men. I’ve seen Woods bottom a few times now and he’s definitely a guy to check out if you like massive men who love to get bent over. Personally, he’s a little too big for me and this was my least favorite scene. However, if you’re interested in watching a big dude work out, you might like it!
Kent Logan follows Woods into the gym, and is a little more my taste. Sadly, the men don’t interact, but you do get to see another guy hit the weights. You can see every single muscle on Logan’s defined body as he works out hard.
Finally, we’ve got one of my favorite Colt men, Adam Champ. I love the fact that he’s hairy and it surely doesn’t take away from the oogling experience. He’s definitely the most masculine man, although he does do bicep curls with the same weight as I do for some reason…
This is a softcore movie that features some of Colt’s most perfectly built men ever. If you love the male form, this is one for you!
Want to watch people fuck in the clothes? Me either typically, but when I saw this softcore version of Private’s Dressed to Cum I decided to give it a shot.
They’re one of the hottest European studios and if anyone can do softcore justice, I figured it would be them!
One of my favorite things about this one is that it’s a Private movie I can recommend to people who don’t like to watch anal. Their movies are packed full of butt fucking, so if that doesn’t do it for you, you’re going to miss a lot of gorgeous Euro girls and guys getting it on.
The first scene grabbed me as soon as CJ walked in. She’s a gorgeous girl with a shaved head who’s wearing a button up and tie. I kind of want to take her to the school dance. She and the beautiful Emma take on Lauro Giotto, a hung stud with a bad haircut.
A few minutes in, I was surprised by how hot and heavy things were. Watching Giotto drill CJ from behind as she eats out Emma made me forget I hadn’t see a close up of her insides yet.
While there’s some kissing and stuff like that, this is not your grandmother’s softcore movie. You get all the passion and pounding without all of the anatomical shots. It’s actually pretty damn hot, although I understand lots of people want to see penis in vagina when they watch hetero XXX.
To be honest I only watched one scene because I just wanted to get a feel for the movie, but as far as softcore goes, this is pretty good stuff. If you’re looking to settle down with your partner for a little dirty flick but don’t want to be surprised by gaping assholes or spitting, I recommend Dressed to Cum. It’s a good way to set the mood!
If you want to see all of the ass sex and slobbering blowjobs, don’t worry friends. You can find Dressed to Cum in all of it’s hardcore goodness on the site too!
I didn’t start out as a sucker for prison pornos. Sure, I’d been a Law & Order fan forever (who hasn’t?), but I never thought about jail as the perfect backdrop for a porno plotline… not until I got my grubby mitts on Triangle Films’ River Rock Women’s Prison. Holy hell did that lesbian jail flick convert me to a believer! So much so that I’ve begun to frequent the Jail/Prison setting category on the regular. And good thing I do, because I’ve found this awesome/kind of strange Cinema Erotique prison flick.
So… I’m not super sure how to feel about this movie. It’s not exactly porno in my book – there’s no sex or even sexual touching. And I’m not even sure if I would label it as erotica either. Ok, so there is nudity and classy music, so I guess if anything erotica would be my closest pick. I will say this though – I need a little bit more to get my hot and bothered.
Don’t get me wrong, I am so not complaining about watching a beautiful woman in the bath/shower splashing around to sensual music, but she doesn’t even actually touch her junk in a porny way! Come on – show me the orgasm! Yes, the close ups on her freshly shaven bits is a nice touch, but not once in this flick does she do anything with those lovely parts!
If you are craving a sensual escape with relaxing music for highly erotic experience, you’ve come to the right place. But if it’s hot hardcore action you crave, I’m afraid this will just leave you jonesing for some good old fashion pussy pounding porno. I know I am.
This past weekend I had the most fabulous conversation with a friend about the movies we watched growing up that affected our relationships with sexuality and which ones molded our sexual identities. While there were a ton of movies that left me rife with excitement and newly minted understanding (hell, I had my first kiss directly after watching Fast Times At Ridgemont High), the flicks that knee-jerk popped into my head were the random softcore porns I’d catch on late night TV (especially this one – so much T & A!).
And ever since those first semi-scrambled movies, I’ve had a total hard-on for softcore. There is just something about the implied sexiness of not seeing all the action that does it for me. So today I’m here to celebrate the awesomeness that is the softer side porn and bring you my top five softcore picks.
American Pinups Vol. 11: The whole burlesque revival that’s been going on for the last few years has me positively swooning. Insanely sexy ladies with curves in all the right places making eyes right at me as they wiggle and coyly smile my way – what’s not to love?
Legal Seduction: Paralegal work never looked so good! Torchlight Pictures brings us this sexy softie full to the brim with office antics and super hot seductive action. This pick is especially awesome, but be sure to check out this fabulous studio’s whole softcore offerings!
The Sexperts: Thisold old old school movie from the ’60s may not feature any actual sexin’, but a bunch of topless ladies throughout keep this porno from being mainstream and also kept we watching! A total blast from the past that is worth watching!
Italian Stallion: Dude – it’s Stallone! In a softcore porn (and his first film role)! Need i say more?
Erotic Touch: I’d not know if it’s just me, but I think softcore gay erotic massage is the perfect way to end this rockin’ list… especially with the super hot bodies that are being rubbed to even greater perfection.
The full-circleness of my life makes me so very happy.
I can’t remember why exactly but last year I stopped just short from taking a look at “Shadow – Dead Riot.” Of course I’m a lover of horror films like you’ve never seen before and I’ve been dying to see what Tony Todd (aka Candyman) was up to in this particular adult feature. I wish I’d thought ahead and brought some popcorn to the office and shot out all the lights so it could be good and dark in here but atmosphere setting aside onto the awesome!
Oh – my – gods – this is bad, I mean “Troll” bad. The props are terrible from the ropey mop that Todd, aka Shadow, is wearing to his bad dentures and the carved skin effects on his hands. It contrasts sharply with the blue green wash of the film and the truly creepy setting of the abandoned asylum. All of this so far adds up to a factor of camp that could be amazing, the fact that I’m still watching avidly is a good indication that “Shadow – Dead Riot” has some serious potential.
So the movie starts with Shadow’s death and a bizarre blood ritual that causes the prison to riot at the moment of his escape. The riot is ended rather quickly when the warden has his men fire directly into the prisoners killing them all, then has them buried in a mass grave, along with a pointy toothed skull we’re lead to believe belongs to Shadow.
Years later the prison has been re-commissioned as a women’s prison and a new inmate is coming in. They call the new inmate Solitaire, because she prefers to be alone, get it? After the obligatory all girl shower scene, the obligatory all girl fight scene! Love it! Seriously the girl on girl fight scenes are lovingly choreographed and expertly shot so that you don’t notice anyone pulling their punches. So far the very best bits of this movie are the fight scenes. But the little violent outburst earns Solitaire a moment in solitary – and she gets the same cell Shadow used before his execution of course.
The prison doctor is a skeezey little bastard and the last person in this film I want to see taking his clothes off but he’s the first to have a sex scene. Meanwhile, Solitaire begins to show the first signs of bonding with her pregnant cell mate, all while Elsa the prison guard is cozying up to everyone’s bitch, Crystal. Then things start getting pretty weird as Crystal disappears during a prison break swallowed up by the lawn.
Blood is a continuing theme with this little horror tale. Any time someone bleeds something bad happens. When the big jailhouse bully goes berserk, it’s just after that idiot doctor injects her with what looks like someone else’s blood. And something horrible happens to Emily’s baby when she gives birth on the lawn, hemorrhages and passes out. Somehow the prison grounds still house the barely decomposed bodies of the original prisoners. These prisoners need blood to reanimate and find the pieces of Shadow’s shattered body. Meanwhile the good old doctor has been injecting prisoners with Shadow’s blood to prolong their life and make them stronger. Yeah, that’s working out great for everyone, thanks Skeezy.
The zombie fight scene’s unlike the girl on girl prison brawls are simple campy fun, filled with bad props and terrible camera work. One girl’s top rips off without being touched; blood sprays like soda from a can, one girl holds in the bloody rag that’s supposed to be her guts with her hands but only after the camera gets a really good look at the mess.
Ok, they got me – an honest to goodness gotcha moment. That just about pushes this directly from campy ok to campy awesome. Yeah it wasn’t the moment they probably planned and I won’t be telling you exactly where it happened so you can have one too. Most of the movie is full of clichéd tropes and predictable gore. Still there are a few really great moments of dialogue and acting that balance out on the good side. Unfortunately there’s no sex, there’s full frontal female nudity and lots of it, and some implied sexual situations and relationships but no actual action but I’d still say it’s a great film if you’re a fan of horror looking for something to watch on an otherwise dull Sunday afternoon.
I’ve been meaning to take a look at a Torchlight Pictures movie ever since I noticed their enticing boxcovers in the recently added section. Something about their simplicity and dark colors against flesh totally caught my eye – and this time I gave myself over to the urge to check them out. And boy was I in for a treat.
Jim and Kathy are going through some hard times in this softcore flick. She dresses conservatively, while he wants her in sexier clothes. It’s a good thing that they have super hot make up sex as a silver lining to their situation, since watching a couple fight for over an hour would be a little too reality porn for my taste.
But between fights and accusations, the pair get down and dirty all over the bedroom and the office furniture. Super hot! And since this flick is softcore, you get all the sexy naked folks and humping, without any close-ups of ball sacks and pussy pounding, which can be a very nice thing sometimes.
As a side note: Obviously I had to really suspend disbelief for this one and pretend I wasn’t hearing a husband tell his wife how to dress. Who does Jim think he is? If he likes sexy clothes so much, why doesn’t he wear them?! Ok, rant over.
All in all this was a nicely plot driven movie with a little bit of demure and a whole lotta sass. Torchlight Pictures is one studio I plan to keep in mind next time I am looking for a movie I know I will enjoy. Two thumbs up.
Today I’m stepping out of my normal faves to take a look at some offerings from a new studio. I’m always looking for new hotness for one and for two – they said archeologist. Yes I’m old enough to remember when Indiana Jones was hotness and adventure personified (but not old enough to think of Hans Solo the same way thank yah very much).
Well so far I’ve seen the idol they mentioned in the description and some nice breasts but no archeologist – or dialogue besides the moaning hissing variety. Things get steamy right away with a cute blond and a hot brunette but no one is talking with their mouths yet, just their pelvises. Plenty hot for softcore though, actually hot enough that I missed the peen shots and detailed tongue work on the oral.
Oh my gods! The archeologist kinda looks like a young Methos, if you squint and know who Methos is (yes, I’m going all nerd girl on this one and loving it!) now I’m really sad that I won’t get to see his dick – and thinking about Highlander and Indiana Jones porn. His first sex scene with another brunette belly dancer is a sweet slow sensual affair set to the back drop of throbbing drums.
Well since its softcore and went through the trouble of including an archeologist as the main character, the plot’s going to be phenomenal right? Sadly, no. Roger, that’s the archeologist’s name, is looking for the last bit of proof he needs to prove a lost civilization that predates the Mayans existed, except he keeps getting interrupted with sex. It has some interesting moments, like where Roger found Dr. Trace’s diary but for the most part the plot didn’t seem compelling or vaguely necessary.
It all culminates in what should be a romantic sex scene if the feature had been plotted out better or better acted. I think that “Forbidden Lust” looked good on paper but didn’t quite satisfy in actuality. “Forbidden Lust” was kinda nice to look at but fell flat when it came to the plot which, in my humble opinion, is where the arousal really rests in softcore.
Apparently, the best way to land yourself a sweet gig on one of the most critically acclaimed shows on television is to work behind the scenes at soft core porn shoots! On a recent late night talk show appearance, everyone’s boyfriend, Jon Hamm, talked about his time as a set dresser on Skinemax sets!
That’s right, today I’m blogging away here at HotMoviesForHer.com, but based on this, I’m guessing that by this time next year I’ll be the lucky lady who finally seduces Jane on Mad Men!
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