sex toy

Happy Humpday!  Welcome back to the mid-week stretch.  It’s been a challenge getting into this week for us,  after last week’s excitement of looking forward to the New York Sex Bloggers Calendar Party, but having Belladonna’s Strapped Dykes go live on the site has definitely helped put a spring in our step today.  And that’s not as much shameless promotion as it is pure excitement for the movie.  What can I say, the cast list makes me want to swoon.  Anyway, like I was saying (before I started overheating), today is Wednesday and I don’t know about you, but we are definitely ready for a little Humpday action, so let’s get to it!

-  Sexual Positions (for the lonely and the loveless) – a really funny masturbation chart or the name of the latest Morrissey song, you decide. (via Jezebel)

-  Apparently sex can cause memory loss for some people.  It’s called “transient global amnesia” or TGA, and it is a a relatively common experience in the over-50s!!  Well, I guess I’ll just add that to the list of things to be terrified of, along with this.  Ok, I’m ready to hid under my covers forever, thanks!  (via World Sex News)
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Insert Suck U Dry Joke Here

Just when I thought that there wasn’t another possible way to integrate vamp culture into society, I stumble upon Fleshlight’s latest offering – the Succu Dry!

I know JD highlighted Tantus’ Vamp Dildo a while back, but I’m sure many of you were left wondering, “what about the goth tops?” Not everyone wants to get drilled by a creature of the night – some of us would rather feed our meat to a fanged femme fatale!  Well, worry no more my friends.

Succu Dry’s unique Vampire mouth opening isn’t for the faint of heart. This exclusive Undead pale sleeve color is made from the same patented Real Feel Super Skin material that’s made Fleshlight the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. The amazingly detailed vampire mouth and fangs beg you to drive your wooden stake deep inside.

Awesome.

(via thefrisky.com)

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Ever since I was young, I’ve had a total fascination with hidden storage compartments. Faux books with cut out pages in the middle or fancy gem poison rings – I still love them all. So the first time I saw this dark wood tissue box with secret sex toy storage, I knew I wanted it. Designed for people who want discreet storage they can prominently display if needed, this ToiBocks storage container looks like a totally ordinary wooden tissue holder (about 9 ¼” long x 5” wide x 4” high). It would look perfectly in place on a desk or nightstand and is even nice enough to put out in a living room if you’re feeling frisky.

When it comes time to get busy, a hidden notch on the bottom of the box lets you get a grip to open up one of the short sides and pull out a red lined secret compartment! Easy as that! Sure, if someone picks up the box to try to pass a tissue (it holds about an inch of tissues and there is a bottom to the tissue part, so no tissues actually touch your toys and when the tissues run out, you can’t see the toys), the compartment will slide right now, but if it stays up on the table, no one will be the wiser. That said, I might not put it in the middle of the living room – though you definitely could and people would just think you prefer to have a classy tissue box.
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Wow.  I just found the weirdest/neatest toy!

Multi-tasking gone too far… or a smart twofer that eroticizes a mundane job?  Maybe a little of both…

The Touche Womaniser Shaver and Silicone Massager is a vibrator AND a pubic hair shaver! 

It basically works like this:

From what I can tell, the bottom pops off to reveal an electric shaver. 

I guess this could be cool in an IKEA kind of way – finding storage/use for every part of an item, or good if you have a studio apartment or something, but I really can’t see any reason the two appliances should ever meet otherwise.  And I’d be worried about something going wrong in the throws of orgasm.  How do you explain THAT to the emergency room??  Oh, and one more thing… looks like a sperm, huh?

Other than all that stuff, this could actually be a cool toy and handy trimmer.  Anyone ever try it? Comment away!

xoxo 
-J.D. Bauchery 

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