I recently reviewed Tristan Taormino’s latest book Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships and was a little blown away. I’m still talking about it with anyone who’s willing to listen. Because it is super rad, I thought that I’d highlight an interesting interview I read on the Cleis Press site.
Here’s just one question, but I’m sure you’ll go looking for more once you get a taste!
Q: You take on a cherished cultural value—monogamy—in Opening Up. Why did you decide to write this book?
A: It’s clear to me that for a lot of people, monogamy is neither functional nor satisfying. We know that marriage rates are down and divorce statistics are pretty staggering. I look around and see magazine articles, books, talk show episodes, and workshops all about how to improve your relationship, how to spice up your sex life, or how to fix your marriage. Heck, my sex advice career is part of the “Love and Sex Self-Help Industrial Complex.” It just seems like there are a lot of unhappy people. In my own life, the people I know who have emotionally, sexually, and spiritually fulfilling relationships are mostly those who are in non-traditional partnerships. Some are polyamorous, some are nonmonogamous, some are “monogamous with benefits.” People who have open relationships develop specific skills that can help others in any kind of relationship, and yet their strategies and their success stories are usually not part of a widespread dialogue. While there have been several popular books about polyamory specifically, I wanted to explore lots of different options outside of monogamy. My goal is to provide practical advice about how to design the relationship that works for you. I also wanted to combine my own experience and advice with that of a diverse group of people, which is why I did original research for Opening Up.
Seriously, imagine a whole book this awesome. I love learning!
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