Sex Tips

Recently, two of my friends asked me about choosing condoms.  One of which had a bad experience.  It always bums me out when the women (or anyone) I love have a less-than-satisfactory experience.  I was happy to advise and I thought it might be a good time to share a little information with you guys.  Keep in mind that this isn’t a “how-to,” but instead more of a “help with choosing.”  The right condom is obviously important to men, but women are just as affected by the type of protection used.  Yes, female condoms exist, but this post is focused on the penis covering kind.

1. Latex or Non-latex (Polyurethane and Lambskin)  – One of the first things you need to decide is whether or not you’re going to use a latex or non-latex condom.  Latex condoms are the most common, but many people are allergic to them.  If you find that products made from latex irritate your skin, you don’t want that stuff coming in contact with your goods.  Polyurethane condoms are thinner, which could mean more sensation, but they’re not quite as flexible as latex.  Which one to use is based on your preference and skin situation.  *Spermicidal lube/nonoxynol 9 – I haven’t seen proof that this stuff works, but have seen tons of evidence that this causes unhappy vaginas.  I have also read reports of this stuff encouraging the spread of HIV.

2. Lubricated?  Many condoms come lubricated.  While I love lube and encourage using it, I tend to encourage people to use non-lubricated condoms along with their preferred water-based lubricant.  All bodies are different, but often times people have adverse reactions to the lube used on condoms.  You never know what you’re getting – glycerin, parabens or other chemicals that might cause adverse reactionse.  Go with a lube you are comfortable with.  Always use water-based or silicone-based lubricant!  Oil-based varieties break down condoms.  In addition, never use oil-based lube because it is difficult to wash from the vagina and in turn causes infections.  Here’s the rub – I have yet to find a non-latex condom that is non-lubricated.

3. Size – Condoms come in about 1 trillion different sizes and shapes.  Which one works best for you is based on his penis size and again, preference.  There are “regular” sized, large and slight variations among the different brands.  Some men choose the bigger condoms because they find the regular size to be too tight.  As long as you can smooth the condom down his cock and get all of the air bubbles out, you’re good.  Working out any air bubbles is a must as they can cause the condom to tear easily!  When it comes to the ribs, ridges and bumps it is up to you as to what you tickles your fancy.  Some people swear that texture makes all the difference while others feel nothing at all.

4. Flavored and Scented – No.  Just, no.  When you start adding flavors and scents to products you start adding for chemicals that are genuinely not good for your vagina.  There is a good chance you’ll have some sort of reaction to that blueberry blast flavored meat sheet.  Feel free to enjoy all of the fun you can stand with tastes and smells, but do it far away from your pussy!  One thing I do want to point out (that really doesn’t have anything to do with this is subject at all): Vegan condoms exist.  I had no idea.

I hope this helps in with choosing the right condom for you!

Love,

Ginger

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In BDSM (which stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism), a Dominance and Submission (D/s) relationship (I’m using the word relationship because all interactions are relationships in some way – I don’t necessarily mean an actual partnered relationship) is a consensual power exchange that includes one (or more) people to take on a dominating role and one (or more) people to take on a submitting role.

A submissive, or sub, in a D/s sex act or relationship submits by choice to the will of their dominant partner – all consensually. The role of a dominant (dom) is the opposite – to willingly dominate their partner. Ways of dominating and submitting can include bondage, all kinds of pain and impact play, humiliation and so much more.

[I really can’t stress enough that BDSM is all consensual and a willing act on both sides. If it is not consensual, then it is problematic and not part of BDSM culture.]

While it might seem that the dom would have all the power in this set up, it’s actually the sub who should be holding the reigns.  How does that work, you ask?  Well, here are four tips that keep a sub empowered and safe, and generally help create a safe and consensual BDSM environment.

1)      Communication is KEY.  Before you even pull out the flogger, all the people that are in the scene should negotiate what ways they would like to play, what they do not want to do, any limitations they have, what kinds of sensations they enjoy/do not enjoy, and more.  There needs to be a clear boundary of what can and cannot happen, and each person’s limits.

2)       Safe Word.  Before getting into it, be sure that everyone in the scene agrees upon a specific word that anyone can say to stop the action.  Pick a word that you wouldn’t normally hear in a sexy situation, like “Alaska,” or “Pineapple.”  So when that word is spoken, everyone knows to stop.  You can also use traffic signal colors as a code – green for go, yellow for slow down/check in, red for stop now.  Whatever you choose, it’s best not to pick a word like “Stop” or “No” because they could easily be said as part of the playing. As well, if you are playing in a way that can become non-verbal, make sure to have signs or sounds to signal “stop.”

3)      Never hesitate to stop the scene if you think that anything that is happening may be dangerous to you.  An example would be if you were enjoying some impact play and your top started hitting you in no-hit zones, like the joints and kidney area.  You can’t always assume that a top will know how to play safely (though before playing, they really should know how to safely use the instruments they are wielding), and it’s everybody’s responsibility to speak up.  This is supposed to be fun and hot, after all, not something that lands you in the hospital with critical injuries.

4)      Make sure you trust who you are playing with.  Sure, it may seem like a “duh” tip, but really, a sub is totally vulnerable in a D/s situation, and it’s important to know and trust who is on the dominating end.  One good measure that you can use to get a sense of your trust for someone else (taking the sexual tension part out of it all) is, would you give that person a key to your car or your house?  Do you feel safe with them out of a scene?  Just something to think about.

Remember, these are only four tips our of tons and tons of them, so be sure to do your own research prior to playing!

xoxo
-JD

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Today’s sex tips are focused on one of my favorite acts in the entire world – pegging!  It is fun for me and my man, plus being the one to penetrate for a change is pretty amazing.  I could really go in depth with this one, which I will at some point, but for today you’re getting the quick and dirty info on pegging.

1.  All anal rules apply!  Warm up is a must.  Start small, breathe, relax and lucky for you, your body acts as the flared base so nothing will get lost in your partner’s butt.  I’ve said 1,000 times and I’ll say it 1,000 more.  LUBE!  Use it.  Go with a water based formula so you know it will be compatible with your strapped on cock.

2. Find equipment that works for both of you.  First and foremost, he should be comfortable with the size of the dildo that you are using.  It is his butt, so he gets to call the shots on that one.  Your job is to find a harness that works for you.  You would be surprised at how much this really matters.  First take your budget into account, then find a style that is right for you.  Do some research!  Some harnesses are too loose and sagging occurs.  There are a few different styles – G-string, jock strap and boy shorts.  Of course, there are a few unique varieties, but these are the main ones.  Again, a longer post to come!

3. Move slow and don’t be afraid to try out a few different positions.  Preferably, go with something that allows the glutes to relax.  All bodies are different, but people tend to enjoy lying flat on their tummies or on the backs the first time around.  Experiment.  Slowly.

4. Communicate!  This is good advice for all things sex, but when it comes to the backdoor, it is extremely important to make sure everyone is having fun and no one is in pain.

Happy pegging!

Love,

Ginger

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So, you’re probably thinking that I couldn’t possibly have anything to say about this subject.  Just grab his wang and stroke.  Sure, you can go with the tried and true up and down motion, but you can make it so much more interesting and perhaps stimulate him in ways your hand never has before.  Why not have some fun and see exactly what kind of magic Rosie Palm and her five friends can create?

1. Lube.  Yes, lube makes it’s way into many posts here on HotMovies4Her and for good reason.  It tends to make just about everything better.  I can’t imagine why you’d want to disagree with me there.  Instead of giving him a dry hand, squeeze a little lube onto your hand and his cock – enough to coat the entire length and to last long into the stroking hours (minutes).  Keep your lube close by so you can reapply when necessary.  This allows for a nice slippery HJ.  Side note: some say that over time hand jobs and masturbation with lube (instead of dry) can help improve premature ejaculation during intercourse.  You can also use spit!

2. Different strokes for different folks.  Instead of rapidly jerking him off in an up and down motion, try a little twisting action near and around the head.  It doesn’t have to be a constant twisting action, just add a twist or two at the end of each up stroke.  It is best to do this with lots of lube in the mix.  You will likely feel him shudder a bit when you try this.  If you’re not using lube, make sure you “have” his skin and do it gently.  No Indian burns!  Seriously, that will hurt.  What I am telling you to do should cause not cause any pain whatsoever.      Lube, ya heard?

3. Sex Toys.  Why not buy him a stroker (or use his)?  You can create the sensation that his jerk off toy creates without him having to use his hands.  It can be lots of fun to create sensations that he wouldn’t otherwise feel without the toy, but to know that you are still making him feel awesome.  Also, masturbation sleeves with ends can help contain his splooge which can totally be helpful in certain situations!  You can also bring a vibrator into the mix.  Some men really like a nice bit of buzz on their scrotum, perineum, or along their shaft.

4. Two Hands!  Use both of your hands to cover more cock!  Wrap your hands around him, one on top of the other, and get them moving in unison.  You’ll be giving him more love and it will feel awesome.  Some suggest twisting both hands, but again, use lots of lube!  Feel free to give it a whirl if you’re interested.

I hope this helps you have a little more fun the next time you give a handjob.  It can be fun for the both you and do so much than give you an arm workout!

Also, I want to add that yes, I did aim this at hetero couples, but I totally encourage anyone to try these techniques on any person with a strapped on cock.

Love,
Ginger

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When done properly, prostate massage can be a magical time for all.  It can make way for some pretty incredible orgasms and a lot of fun in the sack.  The prostate produces fluid that protects and enriches sperm and it is surrounded by the nerves that control erections.  Sounds like it is in prime location for some pretty good times.  With that being said, I’ll go ahead and put it out there that only men have prostates!

I’ll start by saying that it is encouraged to ask your doctor if it is safe to have your prostate massaged.  Certain conditions can be worsened by it.  You’ve been warned!

Also, it is likely that some of this info will be repeated in this post, I encourage you to take a look at J.D.’s Rules of Anal Action.  It is a great quick and dirty list of must-do’s for anal play.  Treat it like your bible for your butt.  As with all new sexy time activities, you should definitely communicate and make sure everyone is on the same page.  This is great for assuring everyone feels comfy and safe, but it can also serve as foreplay and add to the build up.

1. Wash and groom.  He should wash his back door and make sure that little pucker is nice and clean. Wash your hands thoroughly and makes sure your nails are trimmed and free of rough edges and hangnails.  (J.D. suggests covering your fingertips in cotton before sliding your gloves on if you’d like to save your nails and still enjoy butt play)  Yes, being clean is important, but if a little shmootz appears, don’t freak out.  We’re all adults and there is no reason to make anyone feel embarrassed.  Just clean up and carry on!  Being understanding is sexy.

2. Get your materials.  LUBE and gloves.  Have a good supply of lube on hand and use it every step of the way.  You can never have too much.  Ever!  I prefer using nitrile gloves because they are odor free and hypoallergenic.  Plus they come in cool colors.  Latex gloves work as long as no one is allergic.  It isn’t a bad idea to leave one hand glove free so that it can handle lube and maneuver other objects and body parts.  Or, glove them both up if that’s what you’re into!

3.  Start slowly!  While you’re probably eager to explore the mystical world of prostate massage, take it easy.  Don’t rush.  Play on the outside of his ass first.  Make circles around his hole and tease him.  Rub your gloved and lubed finger up and up and down over his hole. Apply a little pressure, but don’t penetrate yet.  Get him excited about what is to come – stimulate those welcoming nerve endings.

4.  Enter with caution (and why not add more lube).  Once you have his ass begging to be penetrated, gently insert the tip of your finger.  Check for his reaction.  Ask if all is well if you’re unable to judge from his facial expression and body language.  Did he let out a little moan or his he wincing in pain?  If it’s a go, slowly insert the length of your finger.  Hang out for a moment and slowly move your finger in and out (never fully pulling it out).  Once everyone is used to the whole finger-in-the-butt thing, it’s time to find his prostate gland:

If he is lying on his back, it will be located “up top”.  It will be a bulky mass, about the size of the walnut.  You’ll want to experiment using a circular motion or pressing and releasing.  It is often advised to not apply constant pressure on the center of it.  It is super sensitive!  Continue to pay attention to his reactions and keep the communication going.  This should never hurt!

Don’t be afraid to stroke his cock with your other hand.  You may also want to you work your blow job magic.  That will really drive him bananas!

What will happen?  There are various possibilities.  He might have a super intense full body orgasm like he’s never experienced before.  Non-ejaculatory fluid may be released.  This is called milking the prostate whereby excess prostate fluid is being released.  This is considered a health benefit!  During the massage, additional seminal fluid is created which could lead to a volcano-like explosive orgasm.  Awesome!  There is also a possibility that none of these things will happen and it will just feel good.  Or you both may walk away feeling good about having tried something new.

Happy prostate massaging!

Love,

Ginger

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Oh nipples, how I love thee.  You adorn chests and breasts of all shapes and sizes.  No matter who you belong to, I’m always attracted to you.  My fingers, lips, tongue and teeth want to be near you always.  While reducing one to the little pink, brown, beige, etc buttons isn’t kosher with some, I can’t help but hold a special place in my heart for you.

To love or not to love? Some people love having their nipples played with, some even to the point of orgasm.  Others – not so much.  They might even find irritating.  So, first things first: find out if they enjoy having their nipples loved on or if there are simply some things that are out of the question.  What fun would it be if it makes the other person cringe?

Start Slow: As with many things, it is best to start slow.  Don’t jump in head first with your tongue flopping out of your mouth like a cartoon character.  Take it easy, give a few kisses and gauge the reaction.  You’ll be able to tell if it is a bit much or if they want more intense nip action.

Teeth? Well, you definitely don’t want to start with your fangs out.  You can never go wrong with asking if teeth are acceptable.  If you feel a bit more comfortable a gentle nibble should suffice.  Nipples are incredibly sensitive to both pleasure and pain so you want to want err on the side of caution.  Let them tell you to bite a little harder.  Never assume!

Temperature: It isn’t such a bad idea to make sure your hands are warm before you get all gropey.  Cold fingers can be an unpleasant surprise that might make things awkward.  But even if it does, just warm up and get back on track.  One the other hand, some folks prefer to involve their nips in temperature play.  An ice cube, cooled sex toy or hot wax can drive them crazy.  Per usual, just ask!

Toppings: This is the one area that I don’t shy away from recommending flavored lube!  Sugar and other substances can irritate the nether regions, but tend to fare better when it comes to the upper regions.  Nipple skin is sensitive so you might want to test out the waters before dousing them with chocolate cherry lube, but there’s a good chance you’ll be good to go with areola a la mode.

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Welcome to Monday, folks.  I hope you all had a lovely weekend filled with rest, relaxation and lots of porno.  I am hear to ease you into the work week with a little shared masturbation advice.  #4 is simply just a good reason as to why you should share your masturbation time.  Regardless, I hope you enjoy. 

1. Watch and learn: Here is your chance to see your partner in action.  Watch their every move and see what gets them going.  You may discover a few things that will help you do an even better job of getting them off.  Do they favor one side of their clit?  Do they go for long slow thrusts or short quick g-spot stimulating movements when playing with a dildo?

2. Give a little demonstration: Verbal communication is awesome and definitely gets it done in the bedroom, but sometimes it’s easier done than said.  If verbalizing your preferences doesn’t come naturally to you, this is a good chance for you to simply show your boo what you like.

3. Direction: If you happen to be the opposite and love to chat and communicate, go ahead a give a little direction.  It is fun to take control and give explicit instructions on exactly what it is that you would like to see.  Your partner could very well enjoy acting out your every wish.

4. Remix: Like many things in the world of sex advice, shared masturbation is simply a good chance to change things up.  There is nothing wrong with prying yourselves from each others’ orifices and letting the voyeur or exhibitionist in you do it’s thing.  Watching and being watched can make things super intense and damn is it hot.

Love,

Ginger

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I don’t know about you, but it sure is cold here at the HotMovies4Her headquarters in Philadelphia.  There is ice everywhere and I just can’t seem to warm up.  No amount of hoodies, hats, scarves or gloves is ridding me of this chill that I feel all through me.  This has inspired my top four sex tips for today: Sexy Ways Warm Things Up.

Warming Lube: While I don’t necessarily recommend using this stuff for penetration, I like using it on the nipples and perhaps on the exterior of the genitals, or anywhere else you desire.  It creates a unique sensation and adds a surprising yet satisfying element of warmth (when you expect everything to be cold in the winter).  Some lubes get warmer when blown on or when friction occurs.  This creates a whole other set of fun activities!  As with all lubes, try and look for paraben and glycerin free formulas to avoid possible irritation.  Sliquid Sizzle is a good one!

Sex Toys You Can Heat Up: This is one that I myself need to explore more than I have.  If you have any glass, ceramic, stainless steel or even silicone toys, just dip them in a bowl of warm water for a minute or two and pull out a nice cozy heated toy.  These materials, except maybe silicone, are generally pretty cold on their own so warming them isn’t such a bad idea any time of the year.

Wax Play:  There is no question that dripping hot wax on your body will damn sure warm you up a bit!  If you’ve never ventured into such territory, there are few things you should know:  when you are first starting out, only use candles made especially for wax play.  This ensures it won’t be too hot.  Never use beeswax.  It will hurt!  Hold the candle far above the above the person you’re dripping on, this way the wax will be a bit cooler.  Avoid areas near the eyes and hair as wax tends to splash.  Always test a small amount on the skin to make sure all is well.  There is a lot more to this, but this is a good base layer of information to get you going!

Sex with Your Clothes On:  This is my favorite tip.  I think it is super hot to see what you can do while you’re completely clothed.  While it may seem prudish to some, I find it to be totally erotic.  Plus, it changes the game a bit.  You have to think creatively instead of going for your same old moves… And you stay warm.

Best of luck keeping warm this winter!

Love,
Ginger

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When it comes to buying sex toys, the sheer amount to choose from can be downright overwhelming.  Not only do you have types of toys to pick from (ie. vibrators, dildos, butt plugs, fetish gear, etc.), but each type comes in a variety of colors, shapes, sizes and, of course, materials.  It’s enough to make anyone close their eyes, grab the first thing their hand touches and head to the register.  Let HotMovies4Her ease those decision-making fears with a look into four of the most exciting sex toy materials.

Silicone:  In my humble opinion, silicone is the bees knees of sex toy materials.  Along with being just the right consistency to allow for a little give, this magical material is phthalate free*, hypo allergenic and totally body safe.  Being non-porous, it’s super easy to clean and sterilize (drop in boiling water for 3-5 mins, stick in the dishwasher – top shelf, no soap) or wipe with a 10% bleach solution), which means you can share it safely with others.  Silicone heats up to body temperature fast and is nearly indestructible – just be sure not to nick or cut it, and do not use it with silicone lube, as they will melt each other.

Metal:  If you are looking for heavy duty awesomeness, 100% medical grade stainless steel is the way to go.  Solid, weighty and smooth, this material will make you feel filled to capacity, and only require the smallest dollop of lube to get, and stay, super duper slick (and you can use any type of lube).  As well, stainless steel is perfect for temperature play, heating up and cooling down quickly (you can stick in a warm water bath to heat it up, and an ice water bath to cool it down).  Also phthalate free and totally body safe, and with no motors to die, meltable qualities or any other Kryptonite, these amazing toys will last you forever and ever.

Glass:  The perfect mix of form and function, glass toys are as strong and smooth as they are a sight to see.  You could perch these beautiful toys on the mantle just as easily as stuffing them in your orifice of choice.  And not to worry about the fragile factor – toys made of glass are shatterproof and will not smash into shards in your vag (or ass, or wherever you put it!)  And just like metal, glass cools down easily, heats up to the perfect temp quickly and only takes a dot of lube to keep it goin and going.  Also phthalate free and body safe!

Hard Plastic:  Just as with the other materials, hard plastic is non-porous and phthalate free, making it awesomely body safe, but unlike those other materials mentioned, hard plastic as one important quality worth mentioning – it is inexpensive.  That’s right, while silicone, metal and glass are all fairly pricey materials, hard plastic is definitely a cheaper alternative that can give you the same nicely filled feeling.  While it cannot be sterilized by boiling, hard plastic can easily be shared by using condoms and swapping them out between people.
Remember, this only scratches the surface of all the awesome sexy toy materials out there, so start with this list and do your research from there.  Enjoy and don’t forget to have fun!

xoxo
-JD

* phthalates are chemicals made to soften plastics and have been found to be not so great for your body.

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Oral sex is one of the most intimate acts one can perform on another person.  Taking them into your mouth puts you both in pretty vulnerable position, but it can be an amazing experience for you both.  Plus, sucking cock is just plain fun.  Here are some oral sex tips to help you give the best blow j ever!  I am referring to penis blow jobs in this edition of HotMovies4Her Sex Tips,but  I am all about strapped on cock sucking and you can totally apply most of these tips to that as well!

Get it wet: Saliva saves!  Getting your mouth and his cock super wet makes everyone happier.  You don’t have to have porn sized amounts of bodily fluid everywhere, although you certainly can, but enough to allow for a nice glide will totally do the trick.  Remember, penises are sensitive.  Smooth is good.  Plus, a lot of slip will make it even easier to work them over!

Hands: Switch it up and get your hand(s) involved.  The addition of a hand or two covers a little more cock surface area and feels fantastic.  A little stroking action also helps at those times when your mouth could use a little rest, but you want to keep the party going!

Balls:  Play with them.  Some people rather enjoy licking and sucking on the two berries, but there are always other options.  A soft caress or even just gently holding them in the palm of your hand while your mouth takes care of his member can really drive him crazy in the best possible way.

Rhythm:  While you definitely want to change it up and try different techniques, stick with one particular rhythm for a bit, especially if you can tell he is super into it.  Go ahead and experiment, but know a good thing when you sense it!  Let him get into the groove with you.  Let yourself really connect with what you’re doing and enjoy it.

This really just scratches the surface of how to give a great blow job.  I didn’t include this in the 4 tips, but communication is always key!  If you want to know what he wants/likes just ask!  Body language and moans are great indicators of what is working and what isn’t.  If there is something you need or want, don’t be afraid to let him know.

Most of all, have fun!

Love,
Ginger

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