Sex in The City

When the Rabbit Habit showed up on my doorstep for review, I wasn’t really that excited. I loved Sex in the City, but never really bought into the hype of The Rabbit dual action vibe for whatever reason. In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have formed my opinion without giving it a tryout because I now understand why the girls had to have a masturbation intervention for Charlotte.

First I should mention that this is a new and improved Rabbit Habit. That’s good news for us because this updated version of a classic toy is now Phthalate-free! They’ve upgraded from jelly to 100% elastomer, a pliable and hypo-allergenic material. It’s also latex-free and doesn’t have that oozing jelly smell that I can’t manage to bring near my body these days.

I’m sure you’re all aware, but for those of you who have avoided this toy like me, the rabbit has a clit stimulator and a rotating shaft so you’re getting g-spot and clitoral stimulation. Sounds pretty great, right? There are also rotating beads at the bottom of the shaft that provide you with even more stimulation. Between these three things, it’s not surprising that this toy basically rocked my world. Another great thing is that this baby lined up with my anatomy really well. I’ve heard about other vibes like this where the rabbit ears didn’t reach the clit comfortably, but everything lined up perfectly for me resulting in multiple orgasms of epic proportions!

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Okay, okay, now that the movie (that we have surely all been waiting for) is finally out, and the hype has somewhat died down, I wanted to share my thoughts on it.

I never watched SATC when it was on HBO. I was in junior high when the series started and graduating high school at it’s end. My parents had HBO but my attention span wasn’t into it. However, when I moved away to college, the series was in syndication and throughout college, the series became an extension of my dating life. I dated my fair share of losers and Bigs (although I’ve always been partial to Steve and Harry) and as a journalism major, I clearly saw myself as the Philadelphia Carrie – although after a rough breakup, my girlfriends claimed I acted more like Samantha. I’ve seen every episode, some I have memorized (La Douleur Exquise!), and I feel it’s a completely accurate representation of how no matter how strong a woman may be, love (or the pursuit of it) can wholly consume your life.

So when the line for the Transformers 2 open casting call seemed a little too long for us, Venus Vegas and I decided to catch a Saturday matinee. Two hours later, I’d never been so happy to own giant sunglasses because I know I cried my makeup clear off my face. The movie made me laugh, cry, laugh, cry, cry, cry, laugh and cry again. Even on the big screen, the movie was still as relatable to my life as the series was. In fact, Charlotte and I shared a major life event and it wasn’t adoption or pregnancy. And the New Year’s Eve scene? I lost it.

There were a lot of things that bothered me, however. For example, no one wears couture all the time. I’ve moved to a new apartment three times in the past four years and anytime my girlfriends helped me, we were wearing our finest Target sweats – not even Juicy Couture! On the show, they often showed the ladies dressed down and I missed that element of “real” life. And Carrie, I love you, and I love that you’re feeling old enough to rock the pearls but no one wears them to bed. No one. I guess your mother didn’t warn you of the necklace choking hazards that can occur while sleeping like mine did. There wasn’t enough “good guy time” – Harry and Stanford were practically absent from the flick. And Jennifer Hudson is painful to watch. Painful! And this is coming from a girl who sang throughout her life and bawled at Dreamgirls like there was no tomorrow.

But overall, I loved it. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I spent the rest of the weekend basking in the glow of Ben & Jerry’s, a box of Kleenex, and rom-coms (and a gratuitous serving of Brad Pitt, sorry George) and read the love letters of great men online. I’m with Big on that – Beethoven really got it right:

“We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life – If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you – ah – there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all”

Inspirational, don’t you think? I’m going to find my Harry this weekend and get down to coloring outside of the lines.

-M.

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Ok, I’ll admit it.  I am as excited as everyone else for the Sex and The City movie coming out later this month.  More excited even – ok fine, I can’t even get through the trailer without getting goosebumps of sexcitement.  what of it. 

Ok, ok, and I’ve got to the point of looking at spoilers (ps. thanks Jezebel, for making that so easy).  Anyway, to the point of this post. I knew it was only a matter of time before main stream media started cross-marketing into the sex toy realm.  Or really, I should say sex toys started taking advantage of mass media’s sparse mentions. 

Little did I know that UK-based toy shop, already jumped the gun and long ago released their Sex and The City Rabbit Pearl Vibrator!  Good work gals!  Now, as the movie release nears, the LoveHoney crew is jumping on the SATC bandwagon and releasing an extra special rabbit pearl vibe named, of course, Mr. Big. 

And this aptly named toy is not lying, with a full inch and a half extra insertable length than the original SATC rabbit!  And let’s not forget that Mr. Big touch of class that comes with a black base and clear shaft (which highlights the internal pearls, of course).  Very swanky!

Hopefully Ironman and Speed Racer will hop on this amazingly smart trend and use their summer blockbuster status to create some really freaking hot sex toy cross-marketing.  Come on people, make it happen!

Ready to hit the airconditioned theaters!  And no, I’m not counting down the 16 days until the Sex and The City Movie comes out…

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

ps.  You know, I won’t cry myself to sleep if LoveHoney happens to get a hold of the post and decides to send me a Mr. Big to review…. I’m just sayin’.

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