Studio: VCA Category: By Women

Today’s Retro Review is from one of our favorite ladies in porn, Joanna Angel. Before everyone in the world was making goofy spoofs, Angel and her friends were combining humor with hot XXX and the results were totally hot. Check out what Venus had to say about Joanna Angel’s Guide 2 Humping back in 2007.

Whenever Joanna Angel makes a movie, it’s always a must-see: she always gets my favorite performers (male and female) and you know it’s going to be totally fun and totally hot. This one is no exception. In “Joanna Angel’s Guide 2 Humping”, she teaches a course to a class of crazy characters on… take a guess.

It’s not quite an instructional movie, although the beginnings of the video scenes are like campy 50′s educational shorts… turned into a hot punk-girl on punk-girl playtime culminating into some double dildo penetration and strap-on action (as in scene 2). Tommy Pistol plays the funniest characters which honestly makes me want to see him naked and humping even more (he’s super cute too, which is a big factor there too), but the best scene is the final, when Joanna confronts James Deen and their chemistry heats up in a dark room for some rough fucking sex. A+
-Venus

Watch Joanna Angel’s Guide 2 Humping!

Studio: Platinum Blue Productions Category: By Women

We’re back with another retro review. While spoofs are all the rage now, they aren’t new to the porn industry and Venus shared her thoughts on this Star Trek spoof way back in HotMovieForHer’s beginnings. Geeky pervs rejoice!

Revived from the classic spoof Sex Trek series, “Where No Man Has Cum B4″ continues this hilarious spoof with impressive comedic acting, fun special effects, and hot, hot sex. Randy Spears continues his role as Captain James T. Quirk, and his impersonation of William Shatner alone is reason to watch. I love the girls’ 60s sci-fi sex kitten styles (especially Gabriella Dreams – check her out in scene 3), which I feel is a highly under-used look in adult movies. I’m not a Trekkie myself, but that definitely doesn’t hinder any enjoyment I get from this film.

Randy Spears is the definite ladies man in this flick, and while the rest of the male crew may lack in aesthetic sex appeal, Randy does not disappoint. In the first scene, he reveals his very well-maintained body to Katie Morgan, as well his very large member. It starts with a quick blowjob, and soon cuts to a nice long oral performance on her. Her squeals sound kind of generic, but seeing the way he licks and teases her, I don’t think her shaking leg is fake. They have sex on the table (which I think is actually a cot), and their bodies move together nicely (although I do get nervous sometimes that she might fall off). They change positions and she rides him on top, and I start to really crave an older man…

The story continues on, but honestly I’m still watching Randy and Katie continually pawing at each other like a new couple in lust. The second sex scene is in the examination room, where Rita Faltoyano and Malibu begin engaging in some girl-girl play, more sensual than the first sex scene. Rita attends to Malibu’s sexual pleasure slowly and efficiently using her mouth, fingers and a space-age looking toy. They switch positions, and Rita reveals a surprisingly cute pair of turquoise shoes (no hooker heels!) before getting finger-fucked and more.

More silly story (I really watched it, but like the real Star Trek, I kind of tune out), and then sexy Gabriella takes a romp with JR Langdon. I really wish he would have taken his shirt off, but what can you do?

To be honest, I skipped the last 2 scenes – I was not particularly interested in watching Ron Jeremy or “Mr. Sperm,” but the first 3 were definitely enough for me to enjoy this movie and add it to my favorites.

This goofy movie is like watching a regular comedy where the sex scenes are actual hardcore. You can tell the performers put as much effort into the acting as they put into the sex, and it shows… especially in my new total obsession with Randy Spears!
-Venus

Watch Sex Trek: Where No Man Has Cum B4!