Written by:
J.D. on November 11th, 2011
Sometimes you just have to watch a porno that’s so bad it’s great. Especially when that porno stars a young Randy Spears from 1992. A mostly invisible Randy Spears. Thank you, See Thru.
But, why? Why would Randy Spears want to be invisible? Well, it’s to get the girls of his dreams of course. He is a shy chemist that just can’t work up the nerve to talk to his high school crush from years past, so naturally he decides that coming up with an invisible potion will get him the girl of his dreams. Along the way he tests out the invisi-juice and bangs his friend and confidant. It works on everything except for his penis, although no one seems to have a problem with that.
Visualize it: invisible man with visible penis getting a blow job. Your mind has been blown. Invisible man bangs woman. Invisible man wears a baseball cap. Invisible man smokes a cigarette. Your mind has been blown.
But does invisible man get the girl? Oh yes, yes he does! AND we get to see a young RIPPED Randy Spears get his screw on 100% visible. I definitely fell in like with Randy after watching the behind the scenes footage from the Hulk Parody. It was fun to watch him in this role, both seen and unseen.
I would recommend this porno to anyone who needs a good bit of porno hilarity in their life. It is laden with feathered hair and 90’s boning so if that gets you off, have at it! Otherwise, take a gander at this silliness just for funzies.
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Written by:
J.D. on May 20th, 2011
I was looking through our movie reviews and realized that we hadn’t watched an instructional flick in a minute. Being a sex educator myself, I just knew I couldn’t let this opportunity pass by without taking the time to get my schoolin’ on. And who did I go to for this, you ask? Why, the fabulous Nina Hartley, of course! Rocking the educator role in more than 30 “Nina Hartley’s Guide To…” movies, Hartley is a totally authority on all things sexy. This time I decided to go with a topic I know very little about – double penetration (DP).
As is with all Nina Hartley guides, this educational adventure started out with a nice, healthy dose of conversation and communication before any DP action was even mentioned. Along with covering all of the how-to basics of where to put what and maneuvers to make that work, Hartley discusses all of the details of picking the right partners (both anatomically and emotionally), being in the right mindset, and so much more.
Seriously, the lady makes sure to cover all the bases, which I think is totally amazing and what makes this video really worthwhile to anyone watching it. She even has co-star Kylie Ireland lie back and give us a female anatomy lesson with her pussy. Oh, Nina, you are such a rock star sex educator!
Once the foundation of communication and all that good stuff is in place, Nina joins Randy Spears and Mario Rossi for a full on demo, showing us viewers at home exactly how to get a double penetration party going. Starting with lots of dick sucking and solo fucking, this scene takes it’s time building us up to the double dick headliner. Nina doesn’t just take it all like a champ, she shows how totally into it she is with a bunch of dirty talk and lots of loud, delicious moans. Yum.
Whether she is sitting on a couch talking or getting pounded by two big cocks, Nina Hartley is a total class act and definitely one of the hottest women in porn. You’d be smart to take a look at all she has to offer!
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In case you haven’t noticed a theme for me lately, I’m doing my best to combat the cold weather outside by watching hot people fuck in the great outdoors. As an added bonus, today’s review also has a road trip theme that is sure to be inspiring in a number of ways!
My first question, and I think this is a valid one, is if women still wear skin tight super short jean shorts in real life? I see them all the time in XXX, and I’m not complaining because they definitely work on these women in a porno with a western theme, but I just had to ask. It’s hard to stay on top of fashion when you work in a hoodie every day.
Now on to the good stuff. Let’s start with Randy Spears (!) and Ahryan Astyn because I have a thing for Mr. Spears and am intrigued by Ms. Astyn’s first name. One nice thing about their scene is that they don’t rush into anything. I mean, I tend to get over the long montage intros Adam & Eve are so fond of, but I will admit they are refreshing since most movies go from hello to double anal in the first 15 seconds of a scene. Plus, I will always make time to watch a girl in a cowboy hat play in the great outdoors.
So after 5 minutes of opening stuff, we get down to it as Astyn drops to her knees and services Randy’s Spear. She has no trouble taking the whole thing down her throat and I love that it’s a little dirty. After a bit, they move to the cab of the truck and she rides his rod reverse cowboy style, which seems appropriate considering the theme. My favorite position has him banging her from behind while she leans against the seat of the truck with her foot out the open door’s window. It’s actually the kind of shot you’d see in a softcore film at first, which is a little refreshing, but I got my fill of dirty fucking once they shift angles and show what’s going on behind door number one. Great scene and I have to say I’d love to stumble upon this couple going at it in a field.
I also really liked watching Angelina Ashe and Derrick Pierce go at it on top of a classic car in scene three and the girl/girl between industry darling Tori Black and Sarah Vandella is scorching. Watching Black ride Vandella’s face before getting eaten out from behind made me realize she most likely deserves all of the attention she has been receiving lately!
Overall, this is exactly the kind of porno I needed to get me through another cold day. It’s really features the best that America’s got to offer – hot cars, slide guitar and good old fashioned fucking in the great outdoors!
-The Porn Libararian
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We’re back with another retro review. While spoofs are all the rage now, they aren’t new to the porn industry and Venus shared her thoughts on this Star Trek spoof way back in HotMovieForHer’s beginnings. Geeky pervs rejoice!
Revived from the classic spoof Sex Trek series, “Where No Man Has Cum B4″ continues this hilarious spoof with impressive comedic acting, fun special effects, and hot, hot sex. Randy Spears continues his role as Captain James T. Quirk, and his impersonation of William Shatner alone is reason to watch. I love the girls’ 60s sci-fi sex kitten styles (especially Gabriella Dreams – check her out in scene 3), which I feel is a highly under-used look in adult movies. I’m not a Trekkie myself, but that definitely doesn’t hinder any enjoyment I get from this film. Read the rest of this entry »
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Kelly Holland is one of the women in the adult industry that totally inspire me, so when I saw she was behind the camera for this Penthouse flick, I instantly began streaming it. I wasn’t really sure how instructional it would be, but I didn’t really care!
The gorgeous India Summers is our guide, and while she’s no Nina Hartley, she does a great job leading us through AFF’s Guide to Threesomes. I love that one of the first thing she recommends is the importance of a couple talking about what each person wants and is comfortable with before bringing in a third party. While this is more of a hot porno than an educational guide, it’s nice to see important tips like this included. It’s the little things, like watching the threesome in scene four negotiate that kissing is ok, that make this one stand out.
I really dug the second scene that demonstrates the amazingness that can happen when a man lives out his fantasy of seeing his wife with another dude. Randy Spears, one of my favorites, plays the husband and shows why he’s been around so long. Besides fucking like a champ, he plays the role well. I love how he sits back and watches Jessica Lynn go down on Rocco Reed, the other man! Watch Spears cradle Jessica Lynn’s head while Reed does her doggie style is also super fantastic, but not quite as great as when he does her from behind to close out the scene.
While this feels like a dirty infomercial for Adult Friend Finder a few times, I can honestly say this is one smokin’ hot fuck flick. Each scenario is treated respectfully and the actors do a good job of actually playing out the plot instead of just getting it on. I’d really recommend couples who are thinking about have a threeway check it out. I think the dialogue will lead to an open conversation. Plus, there’s no way you’ll watch Marcus London take on two chicks without getting a little frisky!
-The Porn Librarian
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Written by:
J.D. on August 27th, 2009
You won’t hear me admit this too often, but I am a total celebrity gossip junkie. I just can’t help it. If those kooky Olsen Twins go out for lunch, I wanna know all the dirt. I just can’t help it. And while I love most things celeb scandalous, there are two things I don’t particularly care for – celebrity sex tapes and TMZ, one of the major gossip sites/TV shows. That said, when I saw this mix of the two done porno spoof type, I just had to check it out.
Written and directed by Philly boys Brian Bangs and Spock Buckton (from TLA), this trashy tabloid parody takes all the awesomeness that is Hollywood gossip and really doesn’t have to do much to pornify it. We start in the TMSleaze office, where Editor Not Harvey Leven (Ron Jeremy) is meeting with his writers to get all the dirty details they have to dish. Who’s fucking who?
Apparently everyone is! Ball-a and Slimin’ Foul from American Idol are screwing all over the place. That crazy Ball-a… And we can’t forget about rapper Feminem and Linda Blowhand getting hot and heavy in the studio. I’m glad that other guy joined in to make it a super sexy threesome! I don’t know shit about Heidi and Spencer, but scene 6 with Heiny and Spender was what I liked best. Their fleeting fame brings them to make a sex tape in public, which is probably closer to reality than I’d like to think. I know this was my favie because it involves James Deen and anything featuring him is always tops in my book. I also really liked that Brynn Tyler (Heiny) got off before Spender even had any clothes off. He knows how to treat a lady right. I will say that Deen’s awful wig was a total turn off, but I’m willing to ignore it if I get to watch him fuck.
While the sex in this flick is pretty freakin’ hot, I’d have to say my favorite parts were the totally random extra bits they added in, like World Famous Jewish Hip-Hop Producer, Dr. Dre-dle and Joanna Angel as Lamy Slimehouse. And especially Smell Fibsen’s wasted ramblings. That is some seriously funny shit. Good Job, TLA guys, you did the City of Brotherly Love proud.
-J.D. Bauchery
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It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed an Elegant Angel movie, so I sat down today with the intention of checking out what they’ve been up to. It turns out they’ve been busy making awesome porn – no big surprise there.
Anyways, I was really excited to check out Jenna Haze. I know she was named the AVN Performer of the Year in 2009, but sadly I haven’t seen much of her work. I can say that this will not be true in a few months, because I really dig this chick.
I fell in love with Haze in the third scene as soon as I heard this phrase come out of her pretty little mouth – “I was the nerdiest slut in school.” I’m a big fan of nerdy sluts, so I was immediately hooked. After a brief interview, we get a taste of what one could expect if they ever caught Jenna out dancing one night. I usually get pretty bored with these dancing montages, but I have to say she’s pretty freaking hot.
Six minutes later, just in case you want to get straight to the good stuff, we’re finally introduced to Randy Spears and neither of them waste much time getting to know each other. After the required BJ, they get down to it and let me tell you, this girl knows how to ride dick! I love Randy Spears, but he really just sat back and let her do all the work in this scene. I can’t say I blame him after watching her on video, I’m sure it’s even more impressive in person! After finishing with anal, she drops down and drains his balls (her words) in the grand finale of a fantastic scene!
I really loved this scene, but also recommend the first between Jenaveve Jolie and Marcos Banderas. They have great chemistry and it’s fantastic.
Glamour Girls really gave me what I’ve come to expect from this studio – great couples porn. It’s a little dirty, but in a wholesome date night sort of way!
-The Porn Librarian
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I’m a little embarrassed to say that I didn’t even know this movie existed, but since it is from 2004 BP*, I’m not going to beat myself up about it too much. Instead I’m just going to revel in the amazingness that is Bella Love Jenna.
Let me just start by saying this movie is fucking weird. I expected Belladonna and Ms. Jameson to do it and it to be awesome. What I did not expect was a bizarre murder story with cannibalism, a tiny Dirty Harry on a tricycle and Nazis.
So, the movie starts with a quick story intro before Jameson wheels Belladonna into a room on a gurney. I’m assuming she is dead or something, but fortunately for us, after seeing the XXX goodness that follows, she brings her back to life by eating her out. What follows is a dark and frantic scene with plenty of finger banging and pussy exploring. I have to say this is as dirty as I’ve ever seen the lovely Ms. Jameson and I’m guessing we can all thank Belladonna for it!
What is probably the hardest scene of the flick, but one I found myself draw in by, was the fourth starring Belladonna and Nacho Vidal. For some reason I love watching Bella do dirty things I don’t often seek out in porn. I guess because I have no doubt who’s in control or if she’s getting off! In this one, Vidal drills her ass before exploding on her face – it’s filthy and awesome.
I have to say that not every scene was my cup of tea in this one, after watching a disgusting (it’s the character he’s playing, he’s quite handsome) Anthony Hardwood take a speculum out of Monica Sweetheart and stick it in his filthy mouth in scene two, I chose to skip it. I may have missed something awesome, but I don’t like medical stuff, especially when a dude’s mouth is crusted in something disgusting.
The weirdest thing about this movie is that they actually tie together the whole thing in the end! I’m not saying I understand everything completely, because the sex does distract from the plot, but I was super happy with the ending. I’m not going to ruin it for anyone, but I will recommend you pay attention to Dirty Harry though out the flick. If you like art house porno, definitely take a look at this one – I was pleasantly surprised!
Oh, and by the way, I love Randy Spears just a little bit more after watching his non-sex role in this flick.
*Before Porn – I was once an innocent grad student who’d never seen a porno.
-The Porn Librarian
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Written by:
J.D. on May 29th, 2009
Since the Real World began in 1992, the reality phenomenon has followed everyone from Hulk Hogan to Hugh Hefner and featured a handful of porno celebrities, including lengend Ron Jeremy. Now that reality programming is in full swing, porno is takin’ over! The porn stars are coming out in full force on star Demi Delia’s new reality web show, “Mommy XXX.” Premiering on June 9, the web show features porn star/mom Demi Delia, along with her family and the trove of porn stars that live in her house (like Carly Parker, Alanah Rae and Steve Knight, and even her ex-husband Randy Spears, who stops by often.
All in all, it sounds like quite the summer show to watch. See for yourself, starting June 9 on
MommyXXX.com.
Find out more about Demi Delia and watch movies here on HM4Her.
(via Fleshbot)
xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery
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