- Very vaginal tree gets an accessory. Mother Nature never looked so fierce!

- Yes it’s a fake, but still pretty funny. A woman claims she got pregnant from watching a 3-D porn. I guess it really is that realistic.

- An in-depth look at Labiaplasty and the quest for an “ideal” vag, complete with a graphic video featuring parts of the procedure.  Definitely interesting, but it’s impossible to unsee that snipping once you watch…

- Is it just me that thinks this, but isn’t it so hot that Amanda Seyfried has a slang word for muff tattooed on her foot?!  Plus, I think “minge” is a super sexy word. (via The Frisky)

- While we say yay to all sorts of sexual positions, here is an interesting essay on why this woman only loves getting busy in missionary.  I’m not sure I agree with her reasoning, but I think it brings up a thoughtful angle.

- And lastly, this awesome video pretty much captures why we love filmmaker Erika Lust so very very much!

Hope this gets you through to the weekend!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

Normally I am soo not into fake knockers. They have a nice shape in clothing, tend to have horrible scars and wonky nipples out of clothing, but my biggest peeve with the silicone boobies would have to be – they don’t bounce. I like that natural tit bouncing action, it makes them more fun to watch and definitely more fun to play with.

Finally there is a solution I can not only live with but will probably whole heartedly endorse – Lipo+boob job cosmetic surgeries! Yes ladies, according to the Frisky, they’ve found a way to take the extra from where you don’t want it and inject it into your chest giving you up an up to 3 cup size improvement! Sounds freaking sweet and I’d say all the porn stars or future stars should seriously consider flying off to Britain to get these instead of the older silicone models, unfortunately most porn stars don’t have any extra fat cells to relocate and those that do don’t need the ‘enhancements’ or the suction. Well I can still dream of a plethora of bouncing, jiggling porn stars can’t I?

But there are other cautions, too. An obsession with youth, beauty, and bodily perfection, perhaps understandably, permeates the adult industry. Even with the MILF craze there is a distinct understanding (often spoken and easily observed) that it’s the 18-25 sect who are considered “in their prime” as sexual performers; as “hot girls.” Male performers may have a bit longer shelf life, but surprisingly, not much longer. Once a guy gets into his 30s he’s no longer considered the hot young stud, especially if he’s been working for a while. He’ll enjoy “tweener” status for just a brief time before the sudden acceleration into “Daddy, Stop Fucking My Friends!” territory.

Due to this paradigm, many adult performers demean themselves by trying to hold onto their “youth” long after they should — or can. Adult industry conventions are teeming with “women of a certain age” dressed in belly shirts, mini skirts, and stripper heels. Women who look 17 years old from behind and some indeterminate age when they turn around. They don’t look young, they don’t look old. They sometimes don’t quite look human. Over-injected lips glossed to a high sheen, flaxen blonde hair extensions falling to their waists in Disney mermaid-like waves, skin that has so much filler and botox holding it still that you can’t tell if they’re smiling or sneering, happy or terrified. (Maybe they’re not sure, either.) And once the men get upwards of 40, I’ve seen some of the same embarrassing behavior. I’m sorry, but too much jewelry, dyed, thinning hair and True Religion jeans on a guy crowding 50 doesn’t tend to look fantastic. The message this behavior sends, to the world and to each other is: you don’t have long here, and there’s no way out. So just try to keep blending in — forever.

I don’t like this aspect of the adult industry because I think it makes us look, and feel, like pathetic fools. Almost mentally ill, really. Delusional. Like “Baby Jane” (or Michael Jackson), we simply refuse to accept that we are aging, and that it is indeed possible to do so gracefully, even in an industry that is fueled by primal, sexual desire. That it’s possible to retain sex appeal, beauty and great bodies and to carry them with elegance and sophistication. But changing our image is going to take some work. And better outfits.

I was at an adult industry party recently, and a writer for an trade magazine said to me, “The adult industry is like the Land of the Misfits.” I realized it does indeed seem that way. That we as a people are rather flamboyantly “fringe” at times. I think that’s fine to a point, but it troubles me that this image of us is what shadows all other possible perceptions. It’s the circus acts that are most easily remembered, but the adult industry is so much more than a circus. I realize we’re very much like burlesque performers used to be — figures of both titillation and fun. You can jerk off to us or make fun of us, in equal doses, and we’ll laugh (and come) along with you. But are we truly in on the joke?

It’s a fact of life that as you age, your sex appeal changes. It doesn’t disappear; it changes. For men, an air of maturity and experience can be a far more potent combination than bulging biceps and a perpetually hard cock. For women, it’s a fact that young men are flocking to “MILFs” and “Cougars” in increasing numbers, due to the older woman’s sexual confidence, financial security, and, I think, humility and depth.

So why cover these hard-earned traits with nasty hair extensions, too much botox and teeny bopper clothes? Why become a caricature of who you were, instead of inhabiting who you are? Adult industry performers are an uncommonly beautiful group of people, and we don’t need to panic with the passage of years. We should set the standard for beauty and vibrant sexuality at every phase of life — and every age. At the end of the day, that’s what our industry should really be about.