Happy Humpday! Welcome back to the midweek stretch. Yep, the new year is finally here. People – it’s 2012! Can you believe that?!? While we are still recovering from our own shock, we channelled all that disbelief into digger through the internet to find the dirtiest news out there and bring it back to you guys in a little Link Love! So let’s get to it!
- Dennis Rodman is getting back into basketball – this time as coach to a topless women’s basketball team. Yeah, you read that right – a bunch of topless women playing basketball. I don’t know whether to be excited or to shake my head…
- Scientists have made major breakthroughs recently, creating ways to grow sperm in labratory dishes. Pretty soon they won’t need people at all to make a baby. Science is so interesting/weird, huh?
Sometimes you need some weird shit to liven up your porno watching experience. While Sex Aliens doesn’t top the list of odd things I’ve seen in porn (i.e. omelets), it has just enough silliness to yank me right out of my smutty blahs. Plus, old school Ron Jeremy always makes me happy. He is a pal of ours and a super nice guy. I actually enjoy his acting and, while it is never academy award winning material, he never makes me want to stab my eye out and he makes me laugh.
Really, how could one not enjoy 1980’s Ron Jeremy and sexy feather haired retro porn alien babes? It’s pretty much impossible.
The Sex Aliens are looking for the last breeder for their race (Ron Jeremy), but the SEXtraterrestrials… ha… must fuck a barrage of men before actually locating their man. There is a lot of bush and tons of super long fingernails – oh how I love the 80s! I was especially excited to see a young Peter North in two scenes. He was (and still is) such a hunk. I just want to know what exactly he does to keep his hair so perfect and never out of place. Not one single hair seems to move. He definitely proves worthy of his title “The Cumshot Legend,” with his copious loads of man goo.
Finally, one of the hottie Sex Alien gets her hands on Ron and fucks him until he blows his load. This is where we find out that he is a sex alien too! Oh man, this is fun. The Hedgehog splooges thick blue/grey jissm and ends up with green spots and crazy green hair! It really is quite awful in the most brilliant of ways. I love it! In the end, the sexy sex aliens are relieved to have found their one last breeder so they can continue their race. Everyone lives happily ever after.
In today’s XXX world, I can easily name a handful of male performers who are ready and willing to shoot gay, bi or queer porn on top of their stunt cock duties on the hetero side of things. I’m not saying it isn’t sometimes controversial, but it’s not uncommon.
There was a time when there wasn’t as much crossover and one surely didn’t expect a guy who got his start shooting gay XXX to blossom into one of the biggest male stars the straight industry has ever seen. If you don’t recognize him on the box cover, that dude on the right is Matt Ramsey, but you probably know him as Peter North. North has performed in over 1800 scenes, is the President & CEO of Northpole Enterprises and is a recent inductee into the XXX Hall of Fame.
Before all that though, he was a young dude went gay for pay and I’ve been waiting to see it for years which brings me to Cousins – one of our first additions from legendary studio Catalina Video.
North performs in multiple scenes in this feature where he (surprise, surprise) plays a straight dude who is experiencing a sexual awakening. He is awakened by numerous dudes as he drills a bunch of dudes before blasting them with massive loads, something he is well-known for.
If you like classic gay porn, you’ll likely enjoy this one. The men are all hot and I actually loved the hesitation on North’s part as he experiments. I have to admit I was hoping to watch him get drilled, but it looks like this gay for pay guy had some guidelines set up before the shoot and wasn’t inspired to do anything dirty in the heat of the moment.
Regardless, it was a real pleasure to watch a hall of famer fuck in his prime and it’s even better than he’s bending over dudes, in my humble opinion. This is a little piece of dirty laundry that porno historians like me really need to see!
Any movie that starts off with Nina Hartley talking directly to me is ok in my book. House of Blue Dreams is a classic flick from 1986 and stars one of my favorite ladies back before she was a MILF.
I’m not sure if you know this, but there was a time when porno movies had plots, and this is a fine example of just this. Of course, there’s only enough plot to move the story along in between fucking, but it’s still a special thing. This one spins the tale of a woman’s journey into a sex crazed world filled with dirty ghosts and all sorts of crazy XXX.
There’s a lot of great sex, but I’ll just highlight two of my favorite scenes. First up is the third, which stars Miss Hartley and Peter North. Both are still hot today, but this is a great scene from when they were a little younger and ends, of course, with a classic North money shot all over Hartley’s famous booty.
The film finishes up with a solo scene from Hartley that features a Hartley riding a fancy flashlight dildo. It’s slow-mo and freaky and there’s I kind of feel like it’s my drunken flashbacks to a night I really wish I’d been sober for. Totally different and awesome. -The Porn Librarian
Compilation films often piss me off. I mean, how many ways can a company market the same 10 scenes? Fortunately, Nina Hartley Screws the Stars, is fantastic! Now here’s a woman that deserves a special edition gold collection dvd. It’s hard to pick a favorite because Ms. Hartley is always amazing, but I really loved the fourth scene because it was a little out of the ordinary. Peter North (who happens to be Canadian and you know how I feel about our neighbors to the north) receives the most amazing wake-up fuck ever. Nina starts by revealing his gift, which is, of course, a sexy brunette. She offers her to him and before long she’s attempting to swallow his legendary cock while Hartley eats her out. It’s pretty sweet. The scene finished with North pounding the mystery brunette until he explodes (and if you’re familiar with his work, you’ll know I’m not exaggerating) in Hartley’s mouth and is instructed to go back to sleep. Even though Hartley never gets fucked, she still owns this scene and I think that’s why I love it so. My only regret is that I think it’s been edited down to ten minutes, and I was definitely hoping for more! Now I won’t be able to rest until I find the original scene and compare The Porn Librarian
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