Tag Archives: Parody

The Authentic Lesbian Review: The Candidate

Dana Vespoli is a fucking genius! The last flick I watched from Dana also happened to be a Sweethearts Video title called Lefty that I completely went ape shit over (review here), and following up with The Candidate was exactly what I needed. The plot is beyond captivating, nothing new for my fellow Dana fanatics, the acting is so spot on you once again forget you’re watching a porno, something I really value, and, of course, the sex is great. The Candidate is situated in today’s hostile and terrifyingly politically charged good ole U S of A. Sounds incredibly sexy right!?

Scene 1 – Penny Pax & Casey Calvert

When we open, Democratic Senator Jen Hanlon is in position to be the first woman president of the United States of America, and her ad is playing on TV. From the very beginning you’re going to get this parody because Dana wastes no time setting up parallels. Senator Hanlon can’t help but remind one of Hillary Clinton with the sexy swag that only Brandi Love can bring, but before you even see her the message is going to sound very familiar. “The usual liberal bullshit”, which we’re reminded of by Republican Senator Trip Mathis (played by the convincing Alec Knight), as he so gently puts it before rambling about some clip of him shaking an oriental’s hand missing from his own ad. Right away he’s annoying as fuck (his name is Trip for crying out loud!). Well done Mr. Knight!

Also right away, we get a sort of stick-it-to-the-douche-homophobe-Republican-know-it-all-white-dude moment when it becomes obvious that Senator Mathis’ daughter, Penny Pax (yes, her beautiful breasts are also here!) is a lesbian fucking her best friend, Casey Calvert, right under his nose in his own house (reminds me of some fun times). Casey mentions Senator Hanlon’s new and highly effective campaign ad and the two briefly discuss Penny’s pop before clearing their heads and doing the nasty. I haven’t seen Pax’s big bouncy boobs in a while, so when the pair began taking their clothes off I couldn’t wait. I was so anxious that I seriously think my favorite part of the entire scene was when Casey put both of Penny’s tits in her mouth, a challenge I more than welcome, and gave a quick motor boat. I flipped! I really, really like Penny’s boobs…

Anyway, the sex throughout the scene was pretty basic as far as positions go. Casey started off by fondling Penny for a while before eating her asshole out and fingering her to god knows how many orgasms. It’s Penny’s turn, and she flips Casey over returning the favor with a really sloppy head job that is sure to turn on, and a little dirty talk. They 69 which briefly turns into Penny sitting on Casey’s face because the tongue game is that strong, and at one point I thought she was going to have to jump down, but she rode Casey’s face all the way to the bank and cashed in with a huge thank you in the form of fingers and lips. It was crazy hot for a first scene.

Scene 2 – Brandi Love & Julia Ann

Finally we get to meet Senator Hanlon. She’s being interviewed by Dana Vespoli about her recent heroic act where she ran into a burning school building and saved a bunch of kids from horrible fire death. Turns out her instincts just kicked in and her years of volunteer fire work under her fire chief dad more than paid off. Not only did she save lives, but the publicity she’s getting is right on time and to top things off she gets to go home and sleep with Julia Ann…Julia fucking Ann! Have you ever seen Brandi Love and Julia Ann in the same room together, let alone kissing and touching all over each other!? It’s better than paradise and it’s happening! I mean, look at them up there. You can’t tell me that isn’t a sexy overload. The only thing that threw me slightly off was Julia literally rolling into the room in a wheelchair. Dana, the subtleties are not lost on me! Mostly though I wanted to see if Julia would be able to stay in character with Brandi undressing and sucking on every inch of her body. Getting her on the bed was the toughest challenge I saw in the near future, and my dreams of watching it go down were cut short by editing. I get it though…

What I didn’t expect was the level of sensitivity the wheelchair introduced into the scene. Senator Hanlon loves and respects her partner and it’s obvious in the extra care she demonstrates while undressing and caressing her. It’s also apparent through their words. In-between kissing we learn that the two gorgeous women have been together for quite some time and the passion is still incredibly strong in their relationship. There are millions of ways to introduce sensitivity into a movie scene, especially a lesbian plot-based scene, but the wheelchair was different, creative, and effective. As Brandi gently kisses down Julia’s body it’s easy to get lost in this fake-relationship (see what I did there) and forget this isn’t just a love scene in a made-for-TV flick. I always appreciate when a porno takes me out of the normal porno element and makes me forget where I am, and Dana is great at it. The chemistry really makes this scene and watching it was just as fun.

Both of these experienced women know their way around the female body and they’re comfortable in theirs so the sex is going to be exactly what you’ve come to expect from a Sweethearts title. Brandi is super focused on pleasing Julia, paying attention to every little detail, ensuring she hit all the right spots at just the right moment. Since Julia’s legs don’t work, it kind of forces the pair into moments of scissoring that will force you over the edge. The position is pretty sexy itself, throw these two moaning, making sexy time faces, bumping clits with juices running down every which way into the mix and yeah, it’s a good time! There was a slightly awkward mostly chuckle-worthy part where Julia wants to taste the Senator so Brandi kind of rolls her over and she flaps on her stomach. It made me smile.

After all the lovemaking is over shit gets real, typical for a Dana Vespoli flick, with Julia letting the Senator know she thinks it’s time to come out of the closet and there’s no better place to do it than the LGBTQ rally she’s due to speak at. Possible future prez brings up a good point though. Yeah, while it does seem disingenuous to speak at the rally and not come out as a lesbian, she’s been in the public eye for a really long time without revealing that part of her identity and it could be seen as an attention grab. Plus, she’s a woman running for president! We already know how hard that is and that people will still rather see a crazy too-damn-tan-for-his-own-good man with no political background over an experienced and qualified woman, but hey, I just write about porn…

Scene 3 – Brandi Love & Bree Daniels & Uma Jolie

Meanwhile back at the rich boys club, Senator Mathis sends his campaign manager on a hunt for dirt on his competition, and man is it good dirt! Senator Hanlon made a sex tape back in college with two of her sorority sisters and the shit is out! After locating and securely hiding my college tape fun times (I plan to run as Kanye’s VP next go round – anyone can win right?) I was back to being glued to the screen. Senator tight-ass is stressed all the way out while Trip, who I’m waiting on to trip over something at some point in this movie, loves every minute of watching it. It’s a damn good threesome to say the least! Bree Daniels and Uma Jolie are hot as fuck and make the perfect DTF sorority sisters for a young freaky Senator Hanlon.

I love how the sex starts instantly in this scene. Before you know it Bree Daniels’ sexy redhead ass is sitting on Brandi’s face while Uma sucks her off. I always preach of balance is key in threesomes (and life) and without it the experience doesn’t come across as fun and exciting. You don’t have to worry about that this time around. Every woman in this scene is sucked, fucked, fingered, fondled, kissed, and licked to the point of no return and back again. I think Uma got it the best while in the pile-driver position with Bree fingering her pussy non-stop and Brandi working steadily on her clit. By the end of it all I think I was more exhausted than they were…

Scene 4 – Karlie Montana

Senator Hanlon neither confirms nor denies she’s on the sex tape (we all know what that means) but stands firm on her stance about slut shaming and attempts to divert everyone away from consensual adults fucking on tape to matters of poverty and the education system, you know, shit that matters. She even gives the press a “good day” at the end of her speech. Senator Mathis is still eating this up while giving his take on the sex tape, while Hanlon is explaining things to her wifey boo and trying to figure out how to clean up her image.

In what I’m considering a celebratory move, Senator Mathis calls over a friend who I’d put at least 50 bucks on as an escort (rich man’s prostitute) and has himself a nice glass of liquor while watching her masturbate. Solo scenes fascinate me for a variety of reasons but I found myself more than the usual turned on during this one. The music is sexy, Karlie Montana is hot as fuck, the lingerie is even spot on; this scene just sets the perfect mood. Watching Karlie strip-tease and grind her body up against the bed could have lasted for hours as far as I’m concerned. The heels were a little dangerous in my opinion, but still, great scene and great scene placement. That Vespoli is really something man.

Scene 5 – Kira Noir & Lyra Louvel

Holy shit! I haven’t even dried my fingers when in walks Senator Mathis’ daughter to see Senator Hanlon and my jaw hit the floor. I don’t trust it. Either her pop put her up to something or he’s about to get fucked over major by his blood. Turns out Penny agrees that what her father is up to as far as dragging Hanlon through the mud is wrong, and wanted to come to apologize for his actions. She also reveals she’s a lesbian, a Democrat, and voting for the opposition. Trip is in world war 3 and doesn’t even know it! I almost feel bad for the guy. That conversation ends rather pleasantly and I feel pretty confident Penny will figure out the right time and place to talk to her father, if she ever gets home safely. Just as I thought shit seemed to be getting sketchy, Penny is snatched up and turns up dead the next morning. Dana always know how to keep that mood going…

Now Trip is all fucked up, and I’m all fucked up, and the mood is all fucked up. Plus Penny Pax fake-dead is not a fun thing to see. Dana brings it back to focus by letting this story take us into our 5th and final scene featuring my favorite at the moment, Kira Noir, and the lovely Lyra Louvel. Poor Senator Trip is trying to drown his sorrows in alcohol and lady juices, so he invites these two sex divas over to get it on while he watches (does Dana think Trump can’t get it up and that’s why he’s obsessed with beauty and what can be seen, or is that just me?). Again, we’re right into the sex of it all, but not long before the action starts, Senator Mathis gets up and leaves. I get it. I know I’m watching a porno and sex is the main objective here but something about this scene just felt too soon. I know nobody really died, but you get pulled into the story so deeply that help but feel the plot.

Being the professional I am, I pushed through the hard times and found myself incredibly turned on by Kira and Lyra as well as the dark contrasted theme of the scene. Lyra goes down on Kira first, making her squirm and moan, then the favor is returned and Lyra’s bush was cool to see. Everybody is always so manicured these days. Anyway, they trade clit-jobs for a while before scissoring to multiple orgasms (I swear Kira was fucking Lyra no strap necessary at one point!), but my favorite part was (and usually always is) when the hitachi was pulled out. That thing is powerful, and watching women having orgasm after orgasm with their bodies shaking completely out of control is beyond intoxicating, especially when the women are this hot. Even their moans were enough to push me over the edge. The sex was light and playful in this scene and I’m happy I stuck around for it. At one point Lyra is teasing Kira and Kira responds with a huge laugh “you fucking bitch…” Now that’s when you know you’re having a good time and doing it the right way. I wonder if they even noticed Trip bounced way earlier…

So dig this crazy ass drama going on… Senator Mathis’ own campaign manager killed his daughter. He knew the Senator’s daughter was gay and followed her to Senator Hanlon’s hotel room. He probably thought they fucked and wanted to talk to her in an attempt to protect the Senator. Seeing him behind bars was gratifying but I wish somebody punched him in the face before all was said and done. To keep things moving, Hanlon won the election, Mathis congratulated her on inauguration day, and they even had a heart-to-heart about her last conversation with his daughter. My only beef was the way Hanlon came out during her acceptance speech. Something about it felt sneaky to me, like she couldn’t do it unless she was already elected and they couldn’t take it back. That’s more like a personal problem than an actual critique, but it stuck with me during her final words. Don’t you love with a porno makes you think!?

The Candidate is another classic Dana Vespoli and Sweetheart Video can add to their vault of hits. The story is rooted in real life and completely captivating, and the acting drives the whole thing. I was so intrigued by the acting in fact that I reached out to Brandi Love for a quote on what it was like playing a Democrat when she’s so openly and publicly conservative, to which she replied via Twitter “I LOVED the part! Reminded me that there are a number of issues where I’m comfortably left of center.” And it left me with a feeling of hope people. That’s right, porn gave me hope! At the end of the day, it’s up to us regular everyday citizens to let the government know how we feel, and Brandi Love’s acting and role in this movie reminded me that the only responsible way to do that is issue by issue. Alright, I’ll stop preaching, but real shit, check out The Candidate, follow me on Twitter @authenticlezz1, and let me know what you think of porn, politics and Penny’s precious boobs! You stay classy, horny people.

Abercrombie & Fitch Gets The Porn Parody Treatment

I’m going to start this post by assuming that all of you are well aware of the disgusting comments made by Abercrombie CEO concerning who should be wearing his clothing. If not, then shame on you, but here ya go. If you have heard of the spewage comments but haven’t seen Greg Karber trying to re-brand the brand then watch this:

And so, now we’re all on the same page. Eh, I guess I’ll throw in Kirstie Alley’s bleep-tastic reaction. With such press circling around such a gigantic asshole, we could only hope that there would be a glimmer of light shining through the poop stain of a situation.

Introducing, “Abercrombie & Bitch XXX”, a porn parody that centers around the “misfortune” of Mike Douchies (…Douchies.). Produced by Assence Films, we’ll be able to watch as Douchies disses any employee who doesn’t fit his idea of perfect body type, and then his wife leaves his ass for a BBW. With Kelly Shibari blowing up the scene with her sextastic hotness and other BBW vids owning on the internet, this was a perfect marriage for current events and porn.

The only sad face in this entire opportunity for porn parody perfection is that we have to wait allllll the way until October, when clearly I’m ready for screening rightthissecond.

MacGyver XXX – A Dream Zone Parody (Disc 1)

I’ve got two words for you, people: MacGyver porn.  Oh yeah, you heard me right.  The industry finally cracked its nut and brought us porn based off of the action-adventure show from the ‘80s/’90s.  I don’t know about you, but I am a big MacGyver fan.  I mean, come on, the man regularly saves the day using crap he finds in his pockets – like bobby pins, sticks of gum and paperclips.  How could you not be totally amazed?  So yeah, Dream Zone Entertainment went there and brought us the last parody I expected –

Instead of writing a normal review for this masterpiece, I decided that a bullet-pointed list would be the best medium to explain all that is right with this flick.

– MacGyver is Richie Calhoun in a horrible blonde mullet wig.  Like an obvious wig from the costume shop that was probably labeled “hair band rocker.”  And he wears it during all of the sex scenes.

– The movie starts out with him fucking Jayden Lee, without any dialogue or us knowing anything other than he is supposed to be in Hong Kong (though the opening is definitely and obviously shot in southern California).  And they reference that.

– There is a roll of duct tape and a hole punch on the table by the bed, which clearly was just MacGyver taking the crap out of his pockets.

– He makes a “prostate massager” out of a pen and a condom – though it doesn’t have a flared base so if I were you, I wouldn’t try this at home.

– He seriously “cums” about a gallon on Jayden’s face.  Like ropes and ropes of “semen.”

– I love the MacGyver music and transitions.  They are the best.

–  Of course Mac finds sex toys that help him get out of sticky situations.  Like the vibrator he finds in the car that he swipes the batteries from to hotwire the car.  Or the rubber fist that has tape at the bottom that he can use in conjunction with a Pringles can and some other stuff to make a listening device to crack a lock.

– The sex is pretty decent all around, but I would definitely check out the girl-girl action in scene 4 with Sasha Sweet and Ella Milano.  Yum.  That Sasha Sweet sure is seriously hot and those moans are enough to get you tingling in your pants.

– The rubber fist makes a second appearance to save the day.  Of course it does.

– The whole movies ends on the joke “with friends like these, who needs enemas.”  Yep.  See, how could you not love this?

Watch “” Now!

Clerks XXX – A Porn Parody

While it may not seem like it on the surface, porn parodies are actually a multi-layered experience.  Sure, they can get you off, but they can also offer up a less charged and scary way for people to engage with porn, and they can draw out memories that you totally forgot surrounding movies and shows you watched long ago.  Take Clerks XXX – A Porn Parody, for instance.  It’s been a minute since I even thought about the movie Clerks, let alone watched it, but lo and behold, the minute I saw this parody in the recently added, all of my teenage angst and love of the movie came flooding back.  Oh parody porn, you are amazing.

Anyway, today I am reviewing Vivid’s Clerks XXX – A Porn Parody, which, like the real version of Clerks, follows a day in the life of a store clerk.  This time instead of a convenience store, it’s a sex toy/porn shop.  The movie starts with Dana () coming in to open the shop – putting out product, dressing the mannequin and blowing up the sex toy doll (which I think is Joanna Angel’s doll).  Soon the customers come in and the day begins with one annoyance after the next.  Like the guy haranguing the other customers about the dangers of condom use.  Jeez, is Dana even supposed to be there today?

Oh man, the best are Jane and Silent Bertha, the “Jay” (Chastity Lynn) and “Silent Bob”(Kelly Divine) of this flick.  Jane is ready to “suck some dicks and turn some trick,” and she can “suck a volleyball through a curly straw.”  Seriously, that is the best line.  Or is it “try not to get fucked in the ass on the way through the parking lot”?  Yep, just like there real movie, this version is filled with quality one liners.

But you didn’t come here for the banter; you came to talk about the sex.  Like and  banging on the floor behind the counter in scene one.  While the floor is fucking disgusting, it’s easy to ignore with how nasty they are (in a good way).  They make out for a long time before getting their fuck on in a whole bunch of positions, including Haze on top while Gamble reddens her ass with smacks.  One thing I’ve noticed about Allie Haze that I love and haven’t mentioned before is her delicious dark brown nipples.  I don’t know if it’s just them against the shade of her skin, but there is something about her nipples that I find kind of striking.  And I see a lot of naked tits.

Another one of my favorite scenes is number five, with  and Allie Haze getting it on.  Dana decides to give happiness a try and goes for Randi, the other clerk and her best friend.  It’s not long before they are fucking all over the store, ending up on a big red couch.  I love watching them lick each other’s pussies at the same time, but the best is the mutual masturbation with vibrators at the end.  Their legs are intertwined and they cum together, trembling and moaning in unison.  Such good stuff.

The sex is really hot, but for me, the banter and nods to classic Clerks is what did it for me.  Thanks Vivid.

Watch “” Now!

Top Five Tuesday – 5 More 2013 AVN Noms!

A few weeks back Ginger Leigh added her top five nominees for the 2013 AVN Awards coming this weekend! This time around I wanted to add my own favorites to the mix.  Sure, we have crazy similar tastes, but I thought I’d offer up something a little different with 5 MORE 2013 AVN Noms!



(Best Educational Release) –
I am an academic perv and I have a total boner for all things educational and smutty, so of course I’d start this list with a Best Educational Release nominee.  I love pegging and I love , so it was an easy choice when it came to picking which one I wanted to kick off the list.  And really, this flick features Dylan Ryan, Wolf Hudson, Jiz Lee and more… did I really have all that much of a choice.  Yum!

( Best Wall-to-Wall Release, Best Makeup, Best Music Soundtrack) – While most of ‘s new movies are up for AVN Awards in 2013, and they are all awesome, this retro-flavored fuck fest is my favorite of the bunch.  The costumes, styling and backgrounds made the sex even hotter for me – and Burning Angel Entertainment brings super sexy smut to the screen every time, so clearly this time I was on fire.
(Best Transsexual Sex Scene,
Best Transsexual Release)-
 I’ve been singing the praises of this movie since we added it to the site a few months ago.  It’s really the first awesome, sex-positive, mainstream porno featuring trans women that is both romantic and well written.  How exciting!  I have such a big heart on for Trans Romantic and seriously cannot wait until we get more in from them.  Major high fives to director .
(Best 3D Release, Best Parody – Drama, Best Special Effects) – I was totally anti 3-D porno until I put on my blue and red 3-D glasses and sat down with This Ain’t Jaws XXX, which offers up both in-your-face fucking and a giant shark chomping right into you.  Yep, it was the shark that changed my mind.  I will say that I never experienced the cum shot to the face that I hoped for with a 3-D movie, but I can forgo that for Jaws.  
Belladonna's How To Fuck
Belladonna’s How To Fuck (Best Educational Release) –
And I’m ending this list the same way Ginger did, with the magical Belladonna bringing up the back.  It’s not exactly an instructional porn, but way more than just some dirty fuck fest and full to the hilt with Belladonna’s signature awesomeness.  I really don’t know what else to say other than Belladonna could sit around and watch paint dry and I would watch every second.

Congrats to everyone and every movie that was nominated!

xoxo
-JD

Top Five Tuesday: Top Pornos To Watch On Halloween!

We’ve been hunkered down riding out Hurricane Sandy here in the great city of Philadelphia for the last couple of days. We made it through safely and feel strongly that the porno must go on! There is no way we were going to let a little wind and rain stop us from one of our favorite posts of the year: Top Five Halloween Pornos!

Halloween XXX Porn Parody
Halloween XXX Porn Parody – While this porno isn’t new, it is a must-have on any top Halloween smut list.  Lily La Beau is sought after by Michael Myers and she is totally into banging him when he is covered with a sheet.  It is super weird and hot.  I’m also not sad about watching her friends – Andy San Dimas and Lexi Belle – get boned.
Ghostlusters
Ghostlusters Sure, I could have gone with This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX, but how could I pass up this lesbian classic from 1990?  I’m not sure it has much of anything to do with the busting of ghosts, but one look at those yellow anal beads and the pink vibrator and I had to put Ghostlusters on my list.
The XXXorcist - Disc 1 The XXXorcist – Disc 1 The original Exorcist is hands down one of my all time favorite movies.  The idea of having sex with, or going anywhere near, Regan totally skeeves me out in the best possible way.  Tommy Pistol plays Father Merkin who takes it upon himself to fuck the demon right on out of Joanna Angel (Regan).  There are three endings to choose from – Sad, Happy, and Fucked Up.  For this and many other reasons, I love Burning Angel!
Vampire Sisters Vampire SistersThis movie is quite different from my other campy Halloween porn picks.  I reviewed Vampire Sisters last year and fell in lust with it. It was directed by Maria Beatty of Bleu Productions who totally rocks out with the high quality feminist smut.  There are plenty of fangs, blood, and BDSM for your kinky little hearts.  It is beautifully shot and you won’t be tempted to skip through the movie in hopes of finding something good because the entire movie is awesome!
Evil Head Evil HeadHot off the Burning Angel horror press!  I’m not sure anyone will ever be able to make another XXX parody again.  I mean, really, what other movie do you want to see turned into an XXX spoof?  With the Book Of The Head, The Necronomicum and a crazy orgy with possessed trees, I’m not sure any other movie could compare.

A Wet Dream On Elm Street

I’m a huge Nightmare On Elm Street fan.  Back in the day I always had to see every Freddy Krueger movie as soon as it came out.  I was obsessed, which is why I’m shocked that it has taken me this long watch A Wet Dream On Elm Street.  Or maybe I was just trying not to taint yet another of my favorite movies by watching the XXX version.  Either way, here goes!

A Wet Dream On Elm StreetWe start out watching Jennifer White getting banged.  Once the fucking is over, Freddy appears.  Jennifer isn’t scared, but rather is excited when he whips out his dildo fingers.  That’s right, Freddy doesn’t have knives for fingers, he hands made for pleasure.

In A Wet Dream On Elm Street Freddy Fingers (Krueger) sold overpriced sex toys from the trunk of his car.  We all know how people get when they pay too much for sex toys – they burn motherfuckers from the waist up.  This way he can still use his cocks!  I have to say, Freddy gets to bone a lot of ladies in this porno.  As much as I love him, I’m not quite sure how the girls can look up at him in the middle of doin’ it.  I just can’t imagine!

Gracie Glam gets a hold of the dildo glove and promptly fucks herself.  Watching pretty ladies get themselves off is always fun, but that glove of dildos makes me laugh.  I can’t help it, especially when she is wearing the glove and just rubs the outside of her pussy.  It just looks awkward, but you might love it!

This porno is definitely funny, especially with quality lines like “let her vaginal juices run free, it might help her breathe.”  The sex is decent, but let’s face it, who actually wants to fuck Freddy Fingers/Krueger?  Still, it is totally worth the watch for fun Halloween porno time!

Watch A Wet Dream On Elm Street now!

I Do… Love These Top Five Bridal Pornos

So, last week my partner proposed to me and, of course, I said yes. Though it seems a little weird to announce it on the site, I kind of have to, because it’s all I can think about.  And because it’s all I can think about, it translates to the pervy work I am doing, which means that this Top Five Tuesday is all about the wedded bliss of porno!  That’s right – five bridal flicks to feast your eyes on.  Though we aren’t doing the deed for a while, I figured I should start preparing now for the wedding night and get some additional pointers.


 – Of course I would start this list off with ‘s take on bridal porn, and really, it makes the most sense, since my own experiences are closer to this kinky, queer fuckfest than the rest of my top five.  offers up a tasty sampling of rough rope bondage, foot worship, flogging, strapping-on and more with some of the hottest tops in the biz, including  and .

 – It wouldn’t be my list if I didn’t make sure to add at least one same-sex marriage, right?  Filly Films sends super sexy ladies down the aisle to get the fuck of their lives as their wedding planner ans her staff get their fuck on all over the screen.  Gotta love the bride-on-bride action and more!
A compilation of bridal banging – sign me up!  While most of these scenes are pretty dated (super ’90s), I still really liked the idea of watching a bunch of brides getting pounded, one after the other.  We even get a scene with a little wedding cake activity. Yum!
This  flick from the U.K. stood out to me from the rest of the dirty wedded masses by featuring footage from her actual wedding interspersed among the hardcore action.  Sounds pretty random, huh?  Well, it is, and that’s what called to me.  The whole porno is wedding themed and includes the hen party (the bachelorette party to us Americans) and even some sex between the bride and groom.  Fancy!
Sure, this parody isn’t exactly a wedding movie, but could I really resist adding it to the mix.  Even as a porno, Bridesmaids shines through as seriously hilarious.  Extra props to the amazing Sasha Knox for being so freaking funny. Check out our review of this one as well!

Look at all these white weddings!

xoxo
-JD

Top Five Movies I Want To Watch!

Reviewing porno is a tricky business.  For every movie that I choose to watch, there are three others that catch my eye but must fall to the wayside for that day.  And, of course, because I am my scatter-brained self, I totally forget that they are even there in the first place.  That’s right – ! have an overabundance of awesome porn to watch.  Woe is me, right?  Anyway, to remind myself of all the fantastic newer movies I need to check out, I am making the list into a Top Five Tuesday of Movies I Want To Watch so that you can take a look as well and let me know if these are movies that I need to review right away.  Comment away!


 – I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not really sure what to expect from April Flores World.  From the screen shots it looks like a collection of various kinds of scenes, focusing more on interviews and behind-the-scenes action, with a little masturbation and sex thrown in as well.  I got an email from April giving me a heads up that it’s very different that the other movies that she and her pornographer husband, Carlos Batts, have made and that it is a more artistic film featuring her personality more than her sexual expression. 

As much as I LOVE me some Belladonna and her footie delights, it was actually Ginger Leigh that pointed out that I should include this on the list.  I had originally picked a different movie which ended up being one that I had actually reviewed (a nod to the aforementioned scatter-brain), so I went looking for another title and Ginger offered up this one, as she reviewed it and loved it.  So on the list it goes!  Thanks Gingie!
 T-Wood Pictures gives us another super sexy trans masculine movie chock full of some of the steamiest screen grabs I’ve seen in a minute.  I did a quick scan through this flick a few weeks back when we got it in so that I could post some really delicious pictures and a free clip.  I also called it a “transman-sterpeice,” which I think not only is hilarious, but really says it all.  Thanks T-Wood, you never let me down!
Star Wars XXX – A Porn Parody (Disc 1) While I totally refuse to watch this movie until I see the actual Star Wars from the ’70s (yeah, I know, I can’t believe it either), I am so curious to see how they parody one of the most famous movies of all time. I’m sure there are a ton of awesome effects and costumes included with the super hot sexy action that  brings to the screen.  It’s only a plus that the movie’s roster offers up a ton of the hottest names in porn.  Can’t wait!  
I had been hearing great things about Juicy Pink Box way before we started offering their movies and was happy to hop on the  bandwagon as soon as their titles hit our site.  While I’ve totally enjoyed each of the movies I’ve watched, I really cannot believe I haven’t checked this one out yet.  I mean, c’mon, it won a Feminist Porn Award this year for Hottest Lesbian Vignette.  I have got to get on the ball with this hotness!!

Take a look and let me know what to review first!

xoxo
-JD