L’Shanah Tovah and Happy Rosh Hashanah! In honor of Jewish New Year, this chosen blogger herself decided to send out a little High Holiday love to a few of our favorite Jewish porn stars.
Alt queen Joanna Angel (Hanging out at the HotMovies 100 Grand Gala)
Joanna’s movies that I think are sweeter than apples and honey:
My favorite instructional maven, Nina Hartley
Nina’s movies that make my shofar blow:
Oh, and a special shout out to Ron Jeremy too (pictured with me!), Happy New Year!
Happy 5769! Get your services on!
xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery
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I mentioned earlier in the week that Triangle Films will be releasing a film that features Nina Hartley and Ginger Lynn together for the first time. I was obviously excited. However, after reading a press release that give us a brief glimpse of the sheer awesomeness director Kathryn Annelle captured, I can’t really express how much I’m looking forward to this release.
Here’s a glimpse of what the future brings.
“We don’t do softcore at Triangle films; we’re in it for the hardcore,” Annelle tells the eager blondes. “I want to create and capture magic, and I feel like the best way to do it is just to let my people have at each other.”
Both Nina and Ginger are relieved to hear that, because they’ve come prepared: A massive strap-on, a couple of bottles of their favorite lube, and what appears to be a whole box of black latex gloves.
“You’re cute when you’re nervous,” Nina says, breaking the ice a bit.
“Am I your first girl?” Ginger asks coyly.
“Yeah - this week,” the buxom dominant replies.
Within moments, the ladies are locked horizontally in an embrace, lips together, already vying for who’ll be the one on top. Then Ginger moves down to Nina’s pussy, fucking it with her tongue, then letting Nina taste her own pussy on Ginger’s lips.
“Gimme those panties!” Nina demands - and as soon as they’re off, Nina’s got her tongue on Ginger’s labia, then stroking and plunging it with her black-gloved fingers - and suddenly Ginger screams!
“What are you doing!” Ginger exclaims. “I’ve never felt anything there before!”
“Your spot is at 4 or 5 o’clock,” Nina responds cryptically. “Mine’s at 8.”
“Go to 2,” Ginger demands, panting.
Of course, we could give you a play-by-play of the entire scene - the fingers simultaneously in each gal’s ass and pussy; Ginger getting off by sliding her pussy back and forth on Nina’s smoothly-shaven shin; Nina fucking Ginger missionarily with her huge red strap-on, then demanding, “Suck my dick, bitch!” - but we’d hate to ruin the many surprises to be found when viewers actually watch the scene.
“I like it everywhere,” Ginger says at one point.
“I can tell,” Nina responds.
“Why didn’t we do this 25 years ago?” Ginger sighs, both in character and in reality.
“Because we didn’t know our asses from a hole in the ground,” Nina replies, equally truthfully.
“I knew my ass - everybody knew my ass,” Ginger retorts playfully - leading both gals to crack up with laughter for about the fiftieth time.
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My favorite performer of all time, Nina Hartley, and Hall of Fame performer Ginger Lynn are slated to finally perform in a g/g scene together for Triangle Films. Yes, you heard me right! The stars have aligned and these two amazing ladies will be getting it on for our viewing enjoyment!
It sounds like Hartley is looking forward to shooting the scene also:
“I’ve been on her radio show a few times, and we fooled around a little bit, but you can’t do penetration on the Playboy show, so it was fun but it wasn’t the real thing,” Hartley explained. “And once we were going to try to get together off-camera and play, and that fell through - but here it is, and I’m bringing my best strap-on, baby. And I hope it’s not going to be one of those movies where it’s all eye-gazing and face-stroking and delicate restraint, because Ginger and I have a lot to make up for. When it comes to chicks, I’m down for it, and Ginger - I’ve had enough flirtation with her to know just what kind of ride she is. Ooh, baby!”
I might have to take the day off when I get my hands on this one!
In the meantime, check out Nina Loves Girls! It’s one of her more recent movies and a little taste of what we have to look forward to.
(Via AVN)
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Porn is all about getting hot and get off, right? Well, yes, but that’s not all it’s good for. You can learn something as well! Sure there are plenty of movies that I watch and see a position I’ve never seen before, or find out a new way to lick pussy, but we also actually have a category that is just for those of you who strive to be rock stars in bed! Welcome to the Instructionals! Learning has never been this hot! I love instructional videos because they not only give me ideas for being the best lover I can be, they are usually insanely hot as well. Actually, this may be because so many feature How-To sex goddess Nina Hartley (my girl boner for her will be totally obvious when you read my list), but even the ones without the fabulous Ms. Hartley are amazing. So, without further adieu, these five flicks are why I’ve got it bad, got it bad, got it bad… I’m hot for teacher.
Read the rest of this entry »
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Compilation films often piss me off. I mean, how many ways can a company market the same 10 scenes? Fortunately, Nina Hartley Screws the Stars, is fantastic! Now here’s a woman that deserves a special edition gold collection dvd. It’s hard to pick a favorite because Ms. Hartley is always amazing, but I really loved the fourth scene because it was a little out of the ordinary. Peter North (who happens to be Canadian and you know how I feel about our neighbors to the north) receives the most amazing wake-up fuck ever. Nina starts by revealing his gift, which is, of course, a sexy brunette. She offers her to him and before long she’s attempting to swallow his legendary cock while Hartley eats her out. It’s pretty sweet. The scene finished with North pounding the mystery brunette until he explodes (and if you’re familiar with his work, you’ll know I’m not exaggerating) in Hartley’s mouth and is instructed to go back to sleep. Even though Hartley never gets fucked, she still owns this scene and I think that’s why I love it so. My only regret is that I think it’s been edited down to ten minutes, and I was definitely hoping for more! Now I won’t be able to rest until I find the original scene and compare
The Porn Librarian
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If I invited Nina Hartley to come to my house and shoot a porn video, this is what I would want it to be. Well, minus the big blond hair and tacky sofa, but you get the point. This movie is so great because it’s not only super hot to watch Nina Hartley fuck Jan up, down and sideways with her tongue, fingers and cock, but it looks like they really had fun while making it. It is obvious that Nina loves women and their bodies and it’s so fucking hot to listen to her narrate what Jan is doing to her every step of the way. Watching her body tense and shake as she comes is even better. Also, I love that she spends time giving little instructionals while she’s going to town on Jan’s pussy. If this review sounds like a total plug for Nina Hartley, that’s because it is. She is my ultimate fantasy dream date and after you watch this movie, she may be yours as well. I call dibs!
-J.D. Bauchery
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I’ve reviewed a lot of spoofs over the past year and thought it would be appropriate to highlight my favorites. I found out last weekend at a family wedding that porno spoofs are totally appropriate conversation for mixed company. By “mixed company” I mean my grandmother, my Republican uncle and a number of other people I try not to ever talk about sex with. My brother-in-law was complaining about not seeing the new Batman because of the wedding, so I immediately brought up Batdude and Throbbin’ – a total classic. My grandmother, who hears a lot when she wants to, overheard and before I knew it the entire family was discussing the many merits of Sex Trek and The Sperminator.
So, in no particular order, here are some of my favorites!
Not Another Porn Movie
I love this one because it’s making fun of porn! When you combine every ridiculous stereotype and fuck-up you’ve seen in porno over the years with totally hot sex, you can’t really go wrong. After all of the boom mics and bad plots you’ve ignored in the past, you owe it to yourself to finally see the pizza guy really give it to a cash-strapped college girl!
Not The Bradys XXX
This was one of the biggest movies of last year for obvious reasons. I mean, who hasn’t thought about Marcia down on her knees in a deep shag rug? This one has a stellar cast, great sex, and all of the campiness of the original television show.
Goosed For 3! - A Bisexual Love Affair
This is a really clever movie that brings some of your favorite childhood Mother Goose characters to live – hardcore! The best thing is that Nina Hartley plays a super dirty Mother Goose. Plus it’s a totally queer flick that has hot straight, gay and lesbian scenes!
Re-Penetrator
I love this one just for the sheer entertainment factor. Fans of cheesy horror flicks will love this spoof as Joanna Angel and Tommy Pistol recreate Re-Animator. Lots of sex, blood, and rock and roll.
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For an industry sorely lacking in market research, there are certainly a lot of unspoken rules in porn: “Don’t have too much storyline,” “don’t get too artsy,” “stick with cliches; they sell!” The drab, insipid list goes on and on.
I’ve come to suspect that these rules are not the result of what audiences have truly asked for — rather, they’re what satiates the lowest common denominator. Or to be fair, perhaps it’s just that the average consumer has resigned his or herself to the fact that when it comes to porn they shouldn’t expect much by way of quality: not technically, not performance-wise, and certainly not from the dialogue.
The funny thing is, it takes just a little imagination and effort to make audiences and critics alike sit up and take notice. Read the rest of this entry »
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Finally! I’m back in action after 58 hours of class! Seven days in a classroom can definitely drive a person crazy, even if it’s learning more about the sesses! And learn a lot I did!
My favorite new knowledge from this week is this, a site full of 3-D models of vulvas and internal sex organs. Look how long the clitoris extends! I love it!
Other fun stuff I found now that I’m actually back in front of a compter for more than 2 hours a day:
- I am obsessed with The Cone. Seriously. I think it’s because it seems like the weirdest sex toy ever. I can’t quite figure out how it works. Anyway, my other obession, Jezebel, posted on it the other day. How essitin’! Check out Slut Machine’s (my favorite Jezzy) review on this bizzare pyramid o’ sexin!
-And staying with the Jez, look at their critique of what porn addiction is and isn’t and how fox news can suck it…
-I don’t know which Queerty John McCain pledge bullet point I like best, installing nanny cams to curb my homosexual activity, or taking responsiblity for natural disasters, like Katrina. Clearly I love and will do both, but I just can’t decided my fav.
- Weird Glamour article about dating a sexpert. I can’t decide if I really like this article, or think it’s a little boring, but either way, it’s something to check out. And just a side note, using your master of sex status as a pick up line doesn’t really work… sigh…
- Even though Nina Hartley should ditch her man and be my wife, I still this article about her and her husband, Ernest Greene, is super cute. Thanks Naughty American!
Alright, well, I’m back and ready to bring it full force, even though it’s a balmy 102 degrees (with a heat index) where I am. Ew. Remember, freezer pops are the best invention over!
xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery
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