You know it’s gonna be an awesome porno when there is an accompanying theme song written specifically for it. Especially when the song is called “Rock and Roll In Your Butthole!” And that’s just what songstress Joanna Angel gets in her fuck flick “Rock and Roll in MY Butthole” – nearly 3 hours of butthole-tastic action. All through the day and all through the night, just like she likes. This isn’t called “An Anal Masterpiece” for nothing!

Alt queen Joanna Angel never disappoints. Whether she’s keeping things light and funny, or getting the anal pounding of her life, Angel carries her jaded charm with her and brightens up even the dullest of sex scenes, though honestly, this movie is definitely lacking boring sex. In fact, I can’t remember a Burning Angel movie that I’ve ever found to be super boring. I guess that is testament to the awesomeness that is Joanna Angel. Anyway, back to the actual fucking.

While all the buttholes in this flick are both rocked and rolled as promised, my favorite scene is definitely the last one (scene 8), with James Deen and Jade Jolie. Not only does it randomly start out with Jolie carrying a giant lollipop, Deen is just sleeping on her couch for no reason and ends up bargaining a return to his nap with a little anal action. And what action it is! I’m not certain, but I believe this is my introduction to Jade Jolie, which is a good thing, because I am definitely hooked. I generally enjoy watching James Deen get busy on camera, and this is no exception. He does an awesome job of mixing tender moments, dirty talk and rough play – a feat most porn dudes probably couldn’t master, and keep hard at the same time.

Two drumsticks raised high for all the rockin’ sex!

And just for good measure, here is a video of Joanna singing “Rock and Roll In Your Butthole” live!

Yeah it does.  And apparently so do rock legends.  Poison lead man Bret Michaels recently fessed up to Rolling Stone that he was actually watching porn when he suffered his near fatal brain hemorrhage back in April.

“I was going back and forth from SportsCenter to Busty Cops 3,” the Poison frontman and Celebrity Apprentice finalist admits. “Maybe that’s what did it!” he says about the intensity of the “Skin-e-max” flick.

While I’m sure those Busty Cops had nothing on the crowds of scantily clad, big-boobed gals banging down the doors of his tour bus during both seasons of VH1′s Rock of Love, they will forever be known as the ladies that almost brought the legend down.

Are you ready to take a chance of your own?

(We have no idea if this video is related to Busty Cops 3, we just wanted to look at girls in uniform…)

(via Popeater)

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

that this picture makes Glitter seem like a respectable career move.

Apparently she was impersonating Eminem for her new music video.  Funny though, in all his years of performing, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Slim Shady with facial hair.  Maybe it was extra touch just for Nick?  We like to think so.

(via BuzzFeed)

By now everyone in the world has probably heard the news of Michael Jackson’s death yesterday.  I was sitting at my desk working on backstage stuff when I got a text from my friend that said he died.  I hopped on the internet to get the details and found out that it was only TMZ annoucing it, which is questionable, but after about an hour or so, CNN finally independently confirmed his death for real.  So sad!

All day I’ve been trying to think of a way to blog about how sad it is and even remotely connect it to porn, and luckily the folks over at Fleshbot found this awesome clip of porn star Wolf Hudson busting out his MJ dance stylings and totally hitting the mark. 

Hudson, who is apprently a huge Michael Jackson fan, also video blogged about the tradgedy yesterday as well.
 

What a crazy week.  For more MJ, check out this Mixtape Rewind from a few months back.

Thanks Fleshbot.

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

Photo via Fleshbot

Happy Humpday!  Welcome back to the mid-week stretch.  It’s Wednerday again and you know what that means, time for a little link lovin’!  Oh, and we can’t forget that this is the first official Humpday of summer 2009!  Woohoo!  Summer rules!  Ok, let’s get to it!

- Somehow porn-lovin’ blog Fleshbot got alt queen Joanna Angel in the same room with Stoya… and got them naked… AND captured it on film.  Mega hotness ensued.  I guess sometimes the stars really do align.  Thanks Fleshbot!

- After Questlove twittered that Sonic Youth-er Thurston Moore was wearing the riskiest t-shirt he’d ever seen on broadcast tv (“gangsta move son” ) on Jimmy Fallon on Monday night, we just HAD to see what the Moore decided to rock on stage.  Turns out it was pretty risque… and totally awesome. (via TheFrisky)

-Speaking of old school indie rockers, Dinosaur Jr. recently did a live performance for Fuel TV and not only did Kimberly Kane (who apparently is a huge fan of the band) get to go, she got her skateboard signed and took a picture for us. 

- XKCD brings us ANOTHER awesomely sexy/nerdy comic.  I’m still giggling, and I originally read it an hour or so ago.  (via Babeland Blog)

- Porno’s own Michael Lucas, of Lucas Entertainment, will be bringing the first ever porn star cameo on a family program!  Lucas won a chance at a walk-on role in ABC’s Ugly Betty during a fundraising auction for the Stonewall Foundation.  Ah-mazing! 

- A really anti-porn chick talks about why she’s so against the porno.  It’s pretty obvious she’s never bothered to stop and visit us… sad.

It’s a short one this week, but still, it will get you through til the weekend.  For an added boost, try reading with a frozen booze drink in hand… to celebrate the summer, of course!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

Photo via homoagogo.com

Our friend Courtney Trouble (or Trouble Royale, as we like to call her) from NoFauxxx.com just sent me this awesome call to queer arms.  Grab your video cameras and get to work! 

Homo A Go Go “Sex Tapes: DIY Porn Showcase” – Seeking Home Made Queer Porn Submissions!

Submission Deadline: July 15th

Requirements:
- All performers must be 18 years of age or older
- Submission must be between 2 and 12 minutes. Longer pieces may be cut by curator if chosen.
- Submissions will not be returned, so please do not send your master copy – send a DVD duplicate.
- Consent of the performers, responsible production, and queer sex-positivity must be apparent in piece.
- All genders are welcome to participate, and any kind of sexual orientation, gender role, or (legal) sexual lifestyle can be presented.

To find out about submitting, check out http://courtneytrouble.com/haggsextapes or homoagogo.com.

In tradition with Homo A Go Go film festivals of past, we are happy to announce that there will be a porn program in 2009′s Homo A Go Go, set in San Francisco August 13th-16th. Curated by NoFauxxx.com creator and award-winning pornographer Courtney Trouble, this year’s program would like to focus on REAL queer sex, the kind you have in your bedrooms, your bar bathrooms, et cetera -shot by participants or friends on whatever cameras you have lying around. We want your home videos, your leaked sex tapes – taken from your point of view, taken from real moment in your life.

Maybe it’s a lo-fi digital file of you and your lover hooking up. Maybe it’s a DIY porno project you made with your friends. Maybe it’s something you’ve worked long and hard on, and can’t wait to show off. Maybe you’re a film-maker, maybe you’re not. It doesn’t matter! Night vision, car headlights, grainy footage, and real, raw chemistry can be just as hot, if not hotter, than a scripted, professionally-lit porn set. The documentation of our own sex lives is a vital part of the Queer revolution, and we invite you to take part in this very special program.

It’s not a contest or competition, but we will be inviting the audience to vote on one thing, “Best In Show.” You do not need to be present to be awarded this title, and there are no prizes except your bragging rights for having one of the steamiest, queerest sex tapes ever made.

Better get busy gettin’ busy – You’ve got a lot of fucking to do! 

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

ps. Homo A Go Go is goingto be ah-mazing this year (as usual) and you are super lucky if you can go!  I can’t go, which pains me to write, but I’m hoping one of you will send me an email with all the good details.  Sigh… enjoy!

Music lovers rejoice! OhMiBod’s Naughtibod (Naughtinano) might be the best thing to happen to music technology since the iPod. For those of you who like to incorporate music into every aspect of your life, you can now sync your iPod with this vibe and rock out with your cock out.

If you haven’t heard about this toy yet, this vibe transforms the rhythm of your selected track into a vibration pattern. You can plug it into your iPod, cell phone or even an electric guitar, and get down and dirty to your favorite songs.

I grabbed my ghetto shuffle and settled in for a night of music appreciation. I have to admit I surprised at how accurate this thing is. I guess I tried not to get my hopes up, but it really does vibe to the beat of whatever you’re listening to. It’s pretty damn cool. My only complaint is that in between songs, the vibe does nothing, which can be a bit of a buzzkill. Also, and this is by no means a bad thing, this is a toy that you need to set aside some time for. It won’t take you from zero to earth-shattering orgasm in minutes. It’s something that will get you where you’re trying to go, but over the course of an album, not a song.

For those of you who are just looking to get off quickly, you can convert the NaughtiNano to a traditional vibe by switching the audio input end cap out for the traditional cap. This allows you to choose between three speeds and four different pulsing patterns. It’s a pretty good option and I’d say it’s a decent standard vibe.

The body of the vibe is made out of a hard plastic with a velvety finish. It transfers vibration well and is also phthlates-free, so you don’t have to worry about that. It’s a little on the small side, with four insertable inches, but the contoured shaft hits all of the right places regardless of size.

One thing you should know is that this toy is loud. At first I didn’t realize it because I had my iPod on, but I took out the ear plugs to check it out and was very surprised. For me, it’s not a big deal, but if you don’t like to announce to everyone in the house that you’re jerking off, this is probably not the best toy for you.

And this may seem silly to some of you, but I have to mention the fact that this toy comes with batteries. And a second set of backup batteries! I hate getting a new toy and realizing I don’t have the means to make it buzz right away. Super thoughtful, OhMiBod!

Overall, this is a pretty cool piece of technology that will definitely enhance your favorite playlist. Audiophiles and wankophiles will both appreciate this innovative vibe.

Check out OhMiBod’s website for more info!

Get your Naughtinano today!

That’s got me like, damn.

This made me smile thinking of a friend who forced me to have a life outside of marc records during grad school.

Here’s a great cover of Katy Perry’s lame ass song by IamFiveStar.

p.s. this is better than any porn i’ve seen today. if i’m being honest…