Tag Archives: masturbation

Hot Toy Reviews: Tantus Mark 02

tantus mark 02
Image courtesy of Tantus Inc.

My slutty little heart skipped a beat when Janie led me downstairs to the secret box of sex toys and told me to pick something. I shifted packages around, discovering G-spotters, butt plugs of all sizes, harnesses, bright pink vibrators, and then I saw it: a girthy, realistic dildo from Tantus, and I knew that my vagina finally had Friday night plans.

I’d heard so much about Tantus and their excellent 100% silicone dildos, vibes, cock rings, and plugs, and I finally had one of my own: the Mark 02, a non-vibrating, realistic dildo with a flared end that makes it harness compatible and anal friendly. It measures in at 6.25” with a circumference of about 4.7”, so it’s just slightly longer and thicker than the average analog cock. It has a very slight upward curve, and the head isn’t particularly pronounced, but it does have some very attractive veins running up the shaft.

The most notable feature of the Mark is that it’s made with Tantus’ Dual Density 02 silicone which, yes, means that it has two different densities. The outer layer of the shaft has a bit of squish to it and the inner core is pretty dense, while still having just a little bit of flexibility and give to it; the head itself is pretty uniformly squishy. This is supposed to make the Mark more realistic and lifelike, but I’ve never really met a hard dick with a squishy outside. Regardless, I really like the feeling of the dual densities; when I first got it I sat with it at my desk and just squeezed it with my hands all day, just like I would if I was allowed to have a man with a hard on hang out in my cubicle during work hours.

The Mark’s girth will necessitate a warm up toy for most users, although I’ve gone without. Mark’s girth and length definitely fill me up and hit my G-spot, but I’m not convinced that there’s really anything particularly special about it. Like I’ve said before, I’m still fairly new to G-spot spelunking, but I wish that the Mark had a more extreme curve or a more pronounced head that could really grab onto my G-spot. As it is, the Mark just kind of idly slides on by; I can feel it, and it feels nice, but there’s nothing really inspiring about it.

Another issue that I have with Mark is that the matte silicone of the shaft feels kind of grabby. This can be fixed with a generous amount of water based lube, but anyone who uses water based lube knows that it dries out pretty quickly and you have to constantly reapply it. This, combined with the Mark’s girth, means that the opening of my vagina gets sore much quicker than with my other insertables.

I don’t dislike Mark, and I’m definitely going to keep it in my masturbation rotation, if only to indulge myself by pretending that it’s attached to a real dude. However, if you’re like me and are looking for something that’s really going to jive with your G-Spot, you’ll probably want to look elsewhere.  Right now, I have my eyes trained on another dildo from Tantus’ 02 line: Adam.

Want updates on the latest adult movies and sex toys? Follow us on Twitter: @hotmoviesforher and @JudyHologram.

Hot Toy Reviews-Baby, I Can Feel Your Halo

Halo by Shibari Wands
The Halo by Shibari Wands deserves a place in your nightstand.

I’m an old lady who has been through a lot of sex toys, and I’ve become a real snob about the crotch accoutrements I choose for myself these days. Long gone are my younger years where I’d be happy to have a toxic, jelly, rabbit-style vibe that took 10 AA batteries and came with 15 differently hued jelly attachments in my nightstand. I shaped up and invested well since then. As a proud owner of a Hitachi Magic Wand for the last 10 years, and the recipient of countless “free bonus” bullets that came with other sex toy purchases, with numerous trial and error purchases in between, I have seen enough vibrators that I gloss over whenever I hear about a new one. Short of shining my boots, what could another vibrator possibly do for me?

Well, hot damn, it could prove me wrong. The Halo by Shibari Wands entered my life, and I hope it enters yours. Beyonce sang it best when she said, “Standing in the light of your halo/I got my angel now.” The Halo is a cordless, waterproof, rechargeable wand vibrator with 10 settings and an ABS and silicone body. In other words, when you come (and you will), you can squirt all over this buddy, and then wash it off with water and antibacterial soap, and plug it in for more fun. The Halo has two buttons-one for on/off and one for setting control. (If there is one thing I hate on luxury vibrators, it’s when they have too many controls. I’m not trying to think about the machine I’m using when I’m trying to have an orgasm.) Shibari Wands gets it right with their simplicity. The settings include low and high vibration, and then 8 pulse and vibe patterns. The Halo comes with its own USB cord and wall socket adapter for charging. I have the purple Halo, but it’s also available with black or pink silicone too.

It’s like I’ve been awakened/Every rule I had you breakin’…I really didn’t expect to be so wowed by a vibrator. I’m a little jaded, and I was also pretty spoiled from the Magic Wand. The Halo is a dream! I love it. As I listen to Bey, I feel like she is really singing for Shibari Wands when she says:

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You’re the only one that I want
Think I’m addicted to your light

I never thought I’d say it, but the ol’ Magic Wand no longer reigns supreme in Castle Viant. The Halo is where it’s at, right at #1. I have been really impressed with this toy, and I only have one complaint that I’ll get to later. First, I like love how strong the Halo is for a cordless toy. With the updates to vibe technology, a vibrator can have plenty of oomph without a cord these days. That said, I’m not bound to the one free upstairs socket when it’s time to play with the Halo and I’m not sacrificing power for portability. Related to that, I don’t find the Halo *as* strong as the Magic Wand, and therefore, I do find it much more pleasurable to use. The vibrations are strong enough to get the job done, but I don’t get numb as I do with too much Magic Wand action. The second best aspect of the Halo is its materials. When I want to clean it, I can soap up the whole dang wand and rinse it clean without worrying about damaging its functionality. It’s very sleekly produced, and there are no crevices or crud traps to worry about. If I think a toy, even if it’s body safe, is going to be a pain to clean, I’ll pass on it. That’s not an issue with the Halo at all. My final top reason for choosing to love the Halo is that it has excellent ergonomic appeal. The silicone head is a bit cushioned, and the neck is very flexible, so it feels great in action even if I’m applying a lot of pressure. Also, the weight of the Halo is perfect and it feels good to hold. Really, you’ll just be getting off with great design when you get your own Halo.

My only complaint about the Halo is that I can’t travel with it. There is no travel lock or way to ensure it won’t be bumped to On during transit, short of running the battery down. Once I dropped the Halo on my bed and it went off after it tapped the corner of a book on my bed. That’s my only complaint. It you really want to travel with it, I suggest getting a padded carrying case or keeping the box it comes in.  Also the Halo is quieter than a Magic Wand, but not noiseless. Please consider the thickness of your walls if you plan to use this one when non-masturbating parties are nearby.

Remember those walls I built?/Well, baby they’re tumbling down/the Halo now wears the crown…OK, that last line isn’t in the song, but should Bey ever sell the rights to her song to Shibari Wands for promotional use, I suggest adding it. I absolutely love my Halo and it’s become my go-to toy since I got it. There are a lot of toys out there, and I’ve handled a bunch of them, but Shibari Wands knocked it out of the park with the Halo. You can certainly order it from Amazon (beware as they tend to get bootleg sex toys from shady vendors) and also here, from SheVibe.

And here’s the official video for Beyonce’s Halo. Listen and tell me this couldn’t be about vibrator love.

Follow us on Twitter-@hotmoviesforher and @fetishmovieblog

Hot Toy Reviews: Bodywand Midnight

Image courtesy of BodyWand
Image courtesy of Bodywand

At first when I received the Bodywand Midnight, I was a bit chagrined by the cord. I like my toys to be rechargeable and portable, but I soon found that the AC cord on the Midnight is luxuriously long; I didn’t necessarily have to be right next to a wall outlet for comfortable use. Upon first inspection of the Midnight, I was thrilled to find the head was quite flexible–allowing users to modify the angle with which the toy is held. The single-touch vibration dial makes for simple speed adjustment ranging from a soft buzzing to a surprisingly powerful, intense sensation. Just adjust the dial to the specific speed that suits your comfort level–the Midnight is extremely customizable in that sense. On lower speed levels the noise of the vibration is moderate and undetectable from afar, but if you’re looking to enjoy the higher-intensity speeds you may want to double-check the thickness of your walls.

As stated before, the Midnight’s motor is incredibly powerful. I went for a lower-velocity vibration to stimulate my clit because I wanted to play with the massager for a longer period of time. Once I found the speed that worked for me, I laid flat on my back and experimented with placing the flexible head against my body until I found the right angle. During use, I liked constantly alternating the pressure with which I held the head against myself. Changing up the pressure kept me in that exciting state of ecstasy right before orgasm for an enjoyable amount of time before I decided to press down and finish the job.

Before the Midnight, I’d never used a wand or any toy specifically designed solely for external use, but I have to say it really did live up to the hype-and for $54, it’s definitely worth it. I continue to use this toy on a regular basis, and if it weren’t for the cord, I’m sure I’d have it with me right now. If you’re concerned about over-stimulation and soreness like I was, keep the vibration level lower and you should enjoy yourself. The Midnight’s handle is a good length and ergonomically-sound, but if you’re planning on using this toy for an extended period of time, you may want to prop your elbow up on a pillow for some extra leverage. I found after 10-15 minutes of use my upper-arm did become a little uncomfortable. This toy can easily be incorporated into use with a partner by holding against oneself during penetration for extra stimulation, or simply having your partner control the speeds and pressures while using it on you.

Obviously, the AC cord means that this toy is not waterproof and shouldn’t be handled around water. Instead, I suggest a nice water-based toy cleaner to keep the Bodywand hygienic and ultimately, long-lasting. Unfortunately, this product doesn’t come with a warranty as it is relatively inexpensive, but, as with all toys, a little care and maintenance go a long way.

For more reviews on toy, movies, and more, follow us on Twitter-@hotmoviesforher and @BridgetXXXXXX.

Hot Toy Reviews: LELO Hula Beads

Image courtesy of LELO
Image courtesy of LELO

I remember it well; Janie told us that we were going to be doing more sex toy reviews, and my eyes began to glisten with excitement. She went downstairs, and came back a short while later with that sleek black box tucked under her arm. She dropped it in my lap, and I squealed with delight, upsetting the guys from GayHotMovies.com.

It was LELO Hula Beads, which I mixed up with their Luna Beads for a hot second, my brain screaming, “My pelvic floor muscles are going to be able to crush a soda can!” Regardless, I tore into the box like a virgin on prom night, taking out those Hula Beads right in the middle of our office’s conference room. The GayHotMovies boys watched as I reverently held up my first ever LELO toy, admiring its silky smooth silicone, oohing and ahhing as I turned it on and watched it rotate and felt its rumbly vibrations.

One happy hour later I was rushing back to my thankfully empty apartment. I unpacked the box in my kitchen, threw batteries into the Sense Motion remote, and gave the user’s manual a quick read through. And then, hands trembling, I turned on the beads and the remote and pushed the beads all the way into my vagina, small end first, and…

And then I stood there, waiting. The smaller, rotating orb of the Hula Beads is supposed to stimulate your G-Spot, and yet I felt nothing from that. At all. Even when I clenched my PC muscles around it, still nothing. All I could feel was the vibrations of the larger orb, and not even in any sort of pleasurable way; more like a large bee had gotten trapped at the opening of my vagina and was demanding to be set free. It was just annoying because, you know, that’s not where my clit is.

Still, I shambled off to the shower (walking like both my legs were broken because the beads were constantly threatening to wiggle out of my vagina,) determined to discover what I was missing. I was hoping that I’d become aroused and start to feel some sort of enjoyment while I washed my hair, but no, I simply became more and more annoyed. I even tried taking the beads out and using the rotating orb as a bullet vibe, but that was pretty useless as well. Eventually I put them back inside myself and masturbated to a hard earned, yet very bittersweet orgasm.

What the hell, man? This was a LELO toy! It’s from the Cadillac of sex toy companies! Why wasn’t I rolling around on my kitchen floor and frightening my neighbors the second the Hula Beads were in my vagina? I consulted the packaging and LELO’s website, which espouses how the Hula Beads can be used so many ways! So many!

So over the next two weeks, I retried them. So. Many. Ways. Half way in my vagina. All the way in my vagina. Big orb first. Small end first. While having a dude eat my pussy. Standing. Sitting. Laying down. I even took them out a night on the town and had my friends work the Sense Motion remote control. That was probably the worst. The Hula Beads have a delayed reaction to the remote, which has to be within about a foot and a half of your pelvis to continue to work. I tried to stare at hipster boy and lumbersexual asses at the bar to turn myself on. Nothing worked. All I could feel was that angry bee buzzing around at the opening of my vagina.

The only time that I kind of sort of enjoyed the Hula Beads was when they were inserted all the way in me, small end first, while I lay on my back and either masturbated my clit or had the aforementioned dude eat me out. In that case, the Hula Beads provided a little extra feeling of fullness, and the rumbly vibrations traveled through my back vaginal wall and into my ass, which was kind of nice. Kind of. Not really nice, and certainly not $169 nice.

Sorry y’all, but I am of the opinion that if you’re going to spend $169 on a sex toy, it should make you cum so hard that you have time to fist bump God on your way back down. Hula Beads are not made for orgasms. In fact, I’m not entirely sure what they’re made for, and I don’t think LELO knows either. If you’re going to drop this kind of cash on a sex toy, get one that actually serves a purpose and manages to accomplish its task very well.

Want updates on the latest adult movies and sex toys? Follow us on Twitter @hotmoviesforher and @JudyHologram.

HOT Toy Reviews: PicoBong Moka G-Vibe

Picobong Moka G-VibeI am not best friends with my G-spot, and this is a constant source of annoyance for me. I’d love to be able to orgasm just from penetrative sex, and squirt all over the place, but it just hasn’t happened for me. About a year ago I went out and got my first penetrative toy, a $30 silicone vibrator with a slightly bulbous and flexible head a hint of a curve. About once a week I’d try fucking myself with it, but I’d have to prop myself up onto every pillow I owned and contort myself into the most unsexy of positions if I wanted to feel anything on my g-spot. It seemed like my g-spot and I were just never going to be able to warm up to each other, and that my clit would forever be the only love in my life.

Enter the PicoBong Moka G-Vibe! PicoBong is the hip, unfortunately named, Hawaiian themed, more affordable offshoot of the high end Swedish company LELO, with toys pricing in at anywhere from $35 for a little bullet vibe to $129 for the crazy ass Transformer. The $59 Moka G-Vibe is a curved, flat tipped g-spotting vibrator that comes in at about 7.5 inches. It’s made of hard plastic coated in body safe, non-porous, phthalate free silicone; the silicone itself has a soft, silky feeling to it, but the vibe as a whole is very hard, with no give at all, yet it’s lightweight and doesn’t tire out my wrist. It comes in a flimsy, useless box with only an instructional manual and a little cellphone charm for no discernible reason; no storage bag or batteries, unfortunately, despite needing 2 AAA’s. Moka boasts 12 vibe patterns and I don’t know how many speeds; I don’t really mess with the patterns, but I’m sure they’re fine. When I turned my Moka on for the first time my initial reaction was, “What is this shit?” because the lowest setting is pretty damn weak, but it does work up to a lovely, strong rumble. It has three easy to navigate buttons on the side and is roommate tested and approved for noise.

Picobong Vibration Patterns
Picobong’s Twelve Vibration Patterns

Ok, so what does this little bro do to my pussy? To warm myself up I like to use it on my clit (which PicoBong’s website annoying refers to as a C-Spot. Stop it, that’s not a thing, it’s a clitoris goddammit) and I could seriously come super quickly just from that. The flattened portion of the head nestles nicely between my labia and happily rumbles away on my clit. However, when I flip the Moka around so that it curves towards my body, the pointed tip of the head pinpoints my clit in a way that I’ve never felt before. I have an absurdly tiny clit, so I’ve gotten used to having it just be totally enveloped by whatever sensation I’m applying to it. It’s pretty eye-opening, for me, to have a toy that has enough of a pronounced tip that all of its vibrations are completely concentrated on the head of my clit. I have to stop myself from coming too soon when I use the Moka this way so that I can use it for its main purpose.

And that main purpose is G-spotting! Sadly, I still haven’t squirted or orgasmed only from using the Moka G, but I’ve definitely had that tell tale “need to pee” feeling and have had much stronger orgasms than usual. The success of the Moka lies in the curve and the flat tipped head. The curve reaches my G-spot easily, and the head has the right amount of surface area to really grab onto my G-spot. I don’t even have to thrust wildly with it; I just kind of nudge it back and forth inside of me and it grabs my G-spot with minimal effort. The shaft of the Moka is more than long enough to penetrate my vagina to the necessary depth while leaving enough of handle to hold onto.

So are me and my G-spot best friends yet? No. But with the Moka G-Vibe, we’re becoming better acquainted than ever before.  At $59, the Moka could do with a few more bells and whistles, like a storage bag and sturdier packaging, but it’s still much more affordable than most G-spotters out there. I’d definitely recommend it to someone, especially a beginner, who’s looking for a good, versatile vibe that will also hit their G-spot at a price that won’t break the bank.

Want to stay up to date on the latest adult movies and sex toys? Follow us on Twitter @hotmoviesforher and@JudyHologram.

Sex Toys for the Holidays

Now that we’re in the midst of the Holiday season of 2014, we’re all scrambling to find the perfect gift for our special someone, or even just a treat for ourselves! Kids aren’t the only people who look forward to finding toys under the tree, so I visited Philadelphia’s Kink Shoppe, a sex positive and gender neutral adult toy and fetish boutique and spoke to Caitlin, a sex educator and customer service representative. She gave me a ton of information about how to go about buying sex toys for your significant other, and had dozens of great gift ideas!

“When it comes to purchasing something for a partner, a lot of people either tend to think about what they want to see their partner using or what they think their partner would like, and if they haven’t had a lot of experience using toys with their partner, that can often backfire. So they might buy something and say, ‘You know, I bought this dildo because it looks like me.’ It can sometimes not be what they want. Usually I’ll tell people that if you don’t have a lot of experience using toys with your partner to think about what they like or ask them what they like and what they want. In terms of buying things for yourself, it’s the same thing. Think about sensations you like. It’s good to experiment with your body and feel around.”

Caitlin also recommends taking into consideration what materials are in your sex toys so as to avoid risk of injury or disease. “Toxins in sex toys are becoming less of a problem now. I know that a lot of toys now use less pthalates, which is a really toxic material that softens plastic and can cause irritation and can possibly lead to problems with your endocrine system. But there’s still toxic materials and porous materials in general; jelly, elastomer, TPR, things like that are still going to degrade over time and get certain bacteria trapped in them. They could potentially transmit an STI or a bacterial or vaginal yeast infection. So generally I tell people that it’s better to keep with non porous materials like silicon, glass, metal, stone, ABS Hard plastic, ceramics, and treated wood.”

We-vibe touch sex toy
We-vibe touch

Keeping in mind the who, what, where, when, why, and how in mind, I asked Caitlin what sex toys would be good for anyone to gift to a female partner, especially someone who has never used sex toys before. She recommends, you guessed it, vibrators! “A lot of women can’t orgasm without clitoral stimulation, and vibrations are really good for that.” She showed me We Vibe’s Tango and Touch vibrators, two cute-as-a-button Bullet style vibes. The Tango is a hard-plastic bullet that can also fit into toys with bullet sleeves, including We Vibe’s own Pleasure Mates collection, making the versatile Tango perfect for whatever mood strikes you and your lady. The Touch is wider and covered in silicon, thereby giving We Vibe’s powerful motor a softer transmission of sensation.

lelo mona 2 sex toy
LELO Mona 2

If you’re looking for a vibrating toy that can be used either internally or externally, Caitlin points towards the strong and waterproof Lelo Mona 2, whose powerful vibrations will hit both the g-spot and clitoris.

we-vibe sex toys
We-Vibe couples vibrator

 

What about toys that you and your lady can use together? “Any toy is a couple’s toy,” said Caitlin, “but a toy made specifically as a [straight] couple’s toy would be the We-Vibe, which is a c-shaped vibrator that can be worn during penetrative sex and vibrates against the clitoris and g-spot.” Not going to lie, the We-Vibe is my current dream toy. However, Caitlin does caution that the We-Vibe “doesn’t work for everyone. It might not sync up with everyone’s anatomy, and not everyone likes how it feels, but that’s any toy. There’s no guarantee that somebody’s going to like it.”

tantus c-sling sex toys
Tantus C-Sling

We then talked about a couple’s toy that I have a little more experience with: cock rings! These guys can give those of you with penises a harder, more sustained erection and you can wear it while your partner present or while you’re having some alone time. In terms of non-vibrating rings, Caitlin recommends the Tantus Super Stretch C-Ring, a stretchy silicone ring that is super inexpensive at about $10. You can also try the Tantus C-Sling, made with a firmer silicon than the C-Ring. This guy has a teardrop shaped base that will stimulate your perineum (taint, grundle, gooch, fleshy fun bridge, etc.) for added orgasmic possibilities!

Jejoue Mio
Jejoue Mio

Vibrating cock rings have gotten me into trouble in the past; whenever I put them on my boo’s cock and turn it on, the ring’s goofy space-age look and the loud vibrations make me think that his dick is a rocket ship, sending me into a fit of giggles. I don’t think that I would have that problem with the elegantly designed and whisper quiet Jejoue Mio. According to Caitlin, “It’s silicon, waterproof, rechargeable, has a really stretchy ring, and it’s really strong. It’s top of the line because it’s more comfortable than other rechargeable cock rings that I’ve seen on the market.”

Tenga Eggs
Tenga Egg collection

If you’re looking for a stocking stuffer that takes its name seriously seriously, give your guy Tenga’s Egg or Cup! These Japanese masturbation sleeves with keep your penis-owning SO happy while you’re away. The Egg can be washed out and used a few times, while the pre-lubricated Cup is for a single use. These are especially great for a guy who isn’t ready to commit to a more serious sleeve. “The cups would be a good one to start out with because they’re similar to the bigger ones like the Tenga Flip Hole… which opens up so that you can clean it out.”

Tantus C-Sling
Tantus C-Sling

It’s your time to shine, lesbians! “Some lesbians like penetrative toys, others don’t. If you do, I would recommend a strap on harness of some sort.” Caitlin showed me the SpareParts Hardwear harness, which is super adjustable and machine washable, as well as a simple O’Ring Harness which allows you to change the size of the ring and work with whatever size cock you want. From there, you have lots of different options for what cock you like; there’s the super realistic VixSkin line from Vixen Creations, or you can get a totally bonkers fantasy cock from Bad Dragon. Personally, I’m head over heels in love with the beyond cute and friendly looking dildos from BS Atelier.

Vixen Creations VixSkin Line
Vixen Creations VixSkin Line
Image courtesy of HeyEpiphora.com*

If someone in your relationship is a transman looking for a really realistic toy, Caitlin again points toward the VixSkin line from Vixen Creations. “They’re super realistic in terms of texture and look, and they come in a few different skin tones. And not necessarily for sex, but New York Toy Collective makes really nice packers.” Caitlin also showed me New York Toy Collective’s Love Bump, which adds balls to your dildo and includes a bullet vibe. As for transwomen, “It really depends on the person. Any trans person is going to have very varying preferences, and some trans ladies might prefer not to be penetrated. It depends where they are in their transition.”

Tantus Beginner Ball Gag sex toys
Tantus Beginner Ball Gag

If you and your partner are interested in exploring kink and BDSM, Caitlin and I both suggest that you learn about safety first, be it through books, films, whatever. Check out Tristan Taormino’s Guide To Bondage For Couples, Midori’s Expert Guide To Sensual Bondage, and Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples. Once you know what you’re getting yourself into, try Tantus’ Beginner Ball Gag. “It’s silicon and it fills your mouth, but it has a small base so it doesn’t prop your jaw open too much, which can be uncomfortable.”

njoy pure plugs
nJoy Pure Plugs

If you want something to put in your butt, check out NJoy’s Pure Plugs and Pfun Plug for the male g-spot. They’re made of weighty surgical stainless steel, with a deliciously bulbous head and a tapered stem for easy retention. Not only that, they’re just gorgeous and super sexy looking.

All of these toys (and many more!) are available at Kink Shoppe in Philadelphia, or at your own locally owned adult store. All of us at HMFH wish you the merriest of sex lives as you head into the new year!

*HeyEpiphora.com is one of our favorite sex toy review sites, run by veteran sex toy reviewer Epiphora. We also encourage you to read her awesome holiday sex toy guide from 2013 here.

The Hottest Men of Porn Who Are Not James Deen-Part 2

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Introducing Your Latest Masturbation Fantasies!

Last year we compiled a list of our favorite men of porn, but both our readers and I felt that we made a few egregious omissions. I’m here to rectify this and give you five more hung hotties to populate your diddle dreams!

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Tyler Nixon

Tyler Nixon bio page

So Tyler’s twenty seven, but can pretty easily pull off being barely legal. He looks like he was the captain of the football team and home coming king at a small town Iowa high school, with a cute face and a sweet and awkward disposition.  He’s actually a California boy and likes surfing and snowboarding (with the bod to prove it!) and he takes pretty good photographs. He frequently gets paired up with MILFs and cougars in his flicks.

Sample Tweet: If an escort charges 1k an hour, how much would 6.25 minutes cost me? #justasking

Best place to see him in action: Aftermath

Find more: Twitter and Instagram and watch him now

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Manuel Ferrara

Manuel Ferrara bio

This stupidly hot Frenchman has the bragging rights to being the only dude to win the AVN award for Male Performer of the Year five times, more than anyone else. He’s the sort of guy that you meet in a Paris café while travelling alone on a personal journey to “find yourself,” and he brings you under his strong, masculine wing and takes you on an adventure of love, self discovery, and lots and lots of orgasms involving a baguette in your booty.  Also, dude’s really good at dirty talk, and combined with that French accent, you’ve got yourself a pile of wet panties over here. Sorry ladies, Manuel’s taken; he’s engaged to and has started a family with the lovely Kayden Kross.

Sample tweet: A man should protect his love ones from any danger, never be that danger.

Best place to see him in action: A Love Triangle

Find more: Twitter and Instagram and Tumblr and his website and watch him now

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Keni Styles

Keni Styles

Here’s another guy with a sexy ass accent! Keni is Thai born and British raised, having served seven years in the British military before joining the porn biz. He can flip between sensual and dominant at a moment’s notice in his performance, and he strikes me as someone that views fucking as somewhat of a spiritual exercise. He’s also a bit of a trailblazer, being one of the very few active male heterosexual performers of Asian descent, and we love diversity in our porn! And did we mention his amazing tattoos?

Sample tweet: The higher you get the more you see. Be free and share love unconditionally. Namasté

Best place to see him in action: Summer Vacation

Find more: Twitter and Tumblr and Instagram and watch him now

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Mick Blue 

Mick Blue bio

I have a friend who goes by Q-Dawg, and one day she confided in me that she had discovered a porn guy that she liked: an Austrian by the name of Mick Blue. “Oh yeah,” I responded. “I’ve seen his penis.” A few nights later I dreamt that I set her up on a sex date with Mick, because in my dreams I am really good friends with porn stars and hang out with them in bars. So today I asked Q-Dawg if I could quote her on why she liked Mick Blue, and she responded, “I like Mick Blue because he’s a silver fox with a hot bod who can throw a girl around in bed.” And if that’s good enough for Q-Dawg, then it’s good enough for me. Unfortunately for Q-Dawg, Mick is off the market; he’s married to Anikka Albrite.

Sample tweet: What an amazing moment to go back with my love @anikkaalbrite to where everything began :-). Feels and looks like a fairy tail :-)

Best place to see him in action: Anikka

Find more: Instagram and Twitter and watch him now

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Steven St. Croix

Steven St. Croix bio

He’s the daddy to rule them all. He famously had his cock (his beautiful, beautiful cock) insured for $1 million in 1996, and fucks MILFs and young ladies with the same sensual ferocity on screen. Off screen he’s a musician, author, and artist, having gone so far as to briefly retire from the industry in 2010 to run an art gallery in Cannes, France. He’s that adjunct that you met in your junior year of college when you took begrudgingly figure drawing to fulfill your art credit, and felt a strange awakening stirring in the depths of your loins every time his deep, commanding voice described the subtle curves of the nude model’s body.

Sample tweet: So apparently, I opened a profile on Grindr thinking it was Tinder…. DayQuil is really strong stuff…beware.

Best place to see him in action: The Sexual Liberation of Anna Lee

Find more: Twitter and watch him now

Happy Endings for Girls, Homemade Sex on Kinect in the Morning Quickie

Today’s Morning Quickie is brought to you by the Z-Pack, which is helping me recover from my nasty bout of a tonsil infection, which is why I wasn’t here last week, which is why you were so bored. Let’s hear it for antibiotics!

The folks over at YourTango posted an article a while ago that I’d love to find out is still happening. Happy Ending Massages for ladies? It was a thing, but I need to know if it’s still happening. Give it a read and get back to me on if this was something you’ve ever tried.

read it here

I’m sure we all remember the “such as…such as…” Miss South Carolina fail. Well, in a proud show of how the nation needs to “create eduation better,” Miss Utah showed up the Southern Belle in a Miss USA WTF moment. When asked why women continue to earn less than men despite 40% being the primary earners in the family, Marissa Powell had a lot, or not much, or does anyone really even know what she had to say?

With the XBox One coming out, and people being all psyched about that (yes, myself included), we’re being told that the device will only work with a constantly-connected internet connection and a camera. Let the sex freedom begin! Here to give you a preview into what sex-on-kinect can look like is artist Alejandro Gómez-Arias, and his amazing RGDBToolKit porno.

view it here

I follow a decent amount of porn stars on Twitter, and most of them are funny, light-hearted, and keep me up to date with what they’re filming and such as and such as. But one thing they always agree on (actually they agree on a lot but I need a good segue here) is the love they foster for Cutting Edge Testing in Sherman Oaks. Since before every production starts you need to get tested, this group of lovely people are on-hand to assure the safety of every porn stars’ nether region in the area. And now, in declaring this “Hepatitis Awareness Month,” they’re screening for both Hepatitis B and C. Progress!

read more here

This is both adorable and useful: a female masturbation app! Still in the beta form, HappyPlayTime, created by designer Tina Gong, shows a little cartoon in the shape of a vagina, with a face. Trust me, it’s awww-worthy. Because FORTY SIX FREAKING PERCENT of women say they masturbate less than once of month (you have got to be fucking kidding me, people), this project was created to educate you on the how-tos and whys of the act, in a visually pleasing way.

explore it here

MASTER-bation May: A Mix Tape for Masturbating

In just a few short days, the nation will gather on porches everywhere to celebrate Memorial Day and the cum coming of summer. But until the 31st actually sees its sundown, we still have eight more days to bang out National Masturbation Month.

So whether you’re a go-hard, get-it-the-eff-done stroker, a candles-make-it-perfect sensitive, or a procrastibator (procrastinate by masturbating), MASTER the moment with this mix that I have set up for you. I promise, “I Touch Myself” is not on here. Neither is the sound of crying.

MASTER-bation May from emmmmja on 8tracks Radio.

May is National Masturbation Month

To celebrate Masturbation Month, Sssh and The Screaming O have teamed up to observe National Masturbation Month with a giveaway of Screaming O Bullet Vibes for the first 250 lucky new Sssh.com members who sign up during the month of May.

 

 

By Fiona Wilde.  

It’s National Masturbation Month, and depending on your viewpoint this is an idea that is either a stroke of genius or rubs you the wrong way.

I personally think it’s brilliant, because Costco sells batteries in bulk and some nights it feels just plain wrong to neglect the imaginary affair I’m having with Benedict Cumberbatch to fuck a real person.

Of course not everyone agrees with my positive view of being touchy-feely with one’s naughty bits. A month devoted to masturbation has caused much hand-wringing among conservative types, which is a damn shame because if they just moved those wringing hands between their legs they’d finally understand what all the fuss is about.

But that’s unlikely to happen, and maybe they are seriously concerned about where masturbation can lead. Blindness, madness, hairy palms, acne and reduced sperm count are among the things the religious types warn about. They don’t mention carpal tunnels syndrome, so I’m throwing that in there.

But it’s not even the physical risks that are the anti-wanking crowd finds most egregious. It’s the spiritual risks. According to one Christian website, the danger isn’t so much in the stroking and probing, but what’s behind it. Apparently, jacking off or petting your kitty is probably OK if you’re thinking about your spouse. It’s only a sin if you’re thinking about someone else.

Of course, this means I’m going to hell. But on the upside I’ll be able to get PeeWee Herman’s autograph. And I’ll be able to meet William Blakely, the Tennessee guy who was in the news last month for masturbating out of his car window while driving 90 mph. And the best part? Blakely was reported to have had his penis out the window while doing this. Now I don’t know how men are built in Tennessee, but I do know if a guy can get his dick out of a car window while keeping his foot on the gas that’s worth seeing, even if it means risking a high speed load to the face as he whizzes by.

If this behavior keeps up by men, here is one possible result shown in a French parody short film….

A few months back I wrote a column on Mormons, a group that’s pretty freaked out by masturbation no matter who you’re thinking about. One of their pamphlets recommends taking a Bible or Book of Mormon to bed and holding it really, really tight if you feel the urge to masturbate. Other handy tips included exercising and hanging around with other people in denial about their sexual frustrations.

Another tip I read today suggests thinking unsexy thoughts. So I’m going to try it – live – right now as I write. First I’m going to think of a guy I really want to fuck.

OK. And now I’m thinking unsexy thoughts.

Clowns, math, Ayn Rand, that time I broke my leg, snow peas, parallel parking, cankles, NASCAR…

Nope. Not working.

Apparently more extreme measures are required, and online I perfectly found awful pictures of chastity belts and penile devices that I will not share with you because, frankly, they’re just depressing.

Maybe I’ll just have a box of Graham crackers. It’s a little known fact that the inventor Sylvester Graham was of the opinion that a bland diet would curb lustful thoughts. And so he created a cracker made just for that purpose. But judging by the success of S’Mores and the popularity of fucking around campfires, he called that one all wrong.

Bottom line: Sex is healthy, whether it’s with yourself, yourself and your imaginary friend or yourself and someone else. Hell, throw in your imaginary friend and you can finally have that three-way you always wanted.

If that’s not a reason to celebrate I don’t know what is.

Happy Masturbation Month, everybody!