Tag Archives: Lisa Ann

Busty Invaders from Mars

The 2013 AVN Awards are coming upon us (no pun intended) this weekend. To continue with our week of AVN award-nominated films, I curled up with Wicked’s Busty Invaders from Mars. This bizarre gem is up for four awards, including Best Comedy, Best Editing, Best Special Effects, and Best Screenplay. With so many awards on the line, particularly Best Comedy, Busty Invaders seemed like it would deliver on some level.

Now, I’m not usually one for large studios and even larger fake boobs, but I couldn’t resist checking out a porno that didn’t take itself too seriously. After all, sex can be funny, and I’m all for a laugh when it comes to fucking. This round, Wicked goes tongue-in-cheek deep into the Sci-Fi camp route with Busty Invaders. It’s like watching an X-rated, silicone-steeped Plan 9 from Outer Space. The narrative portions of the film are in black and white while the sex scenes are shown in vivid color.

I was prepared to laugh as soon as a UFO floated through the opening credits while a classically eerie theremin instrumental played along. The film begins with the Lisa Ann‘s announcement, “I’m Queen Areola from the planet Mammary from the Lactiferous Galaxy and we are here to enslave your puny little planet.” Then the queen and her sidekick, Tasha Reign, attempt to rule humans with their “boob power and mind-blowing sex.” As they interrupt a lovers’ picnic, the two alien bombshells bare their tits and shimmy-shake the boyfriend into submission.

In the meantime, Alektra Blue is Dr. Monroe, a horny scientist who experiments with sexual desire and control, and who is drafted to help the President of the United States (Mark Wood) fight the aliens and their boob power. (Note: If you’d like to drink booze through this movie, I highly suggest drinking whenever anyone says “boob power.”. You’ll be schnockered in 15 minutes.) Dr. Monroe runs sexy lab experiments that include bouncing her boobs to boing-boing sound effects and stimulating her cunt with static electricity. There is even a violet wand involved, much to my delight!

Busty Invaders is certainly worth a watch, but I can’t say I got turned on by any of the sex. The cast is quiet fetching, but I was disappointed that the alien sex wasn’t any different than human sex, save for the presence of sparkly bedsheets. None of those sexy aliens had anything peculiar about them, other than their technicolor, raver eyeshadow. I guess I was expecting something like this to rear its clit. The sex is certainly plentiful and well-shot, but it’s more scripted than I personally enjoy.

Overall, Busty Invaders is funny and I do think the screenplay is worth watching. The overall dialogue is very funny (“I better make like a banana and get out of here!”), and the film has high production value. And it ends with a cliff hanger, meaning that a sequel is likely cooking somewhere in California. In summation, I would recommend Busty Invaders from Mars to friends who also enjoy yukking it up while they’re jacking it off.

Watch “Busty Invaders from Mars” now!

 

Top Five Tuesday – Election Day 2012 Edition!

You are either living under a rock (or not living in America) if you don’t know that today is election day here in the States and that we are voting for president this year.  I know I, for one, am seriously ready for this election to be done with – not only to finally know for sure who will be leading us for the next four years, but also so we can actually talk about something else.  Though I am so totally over hearing about politics (even though I am a political person and have strong views about the election), I thought we would end this election season with a little porno pizzazz!  Check out our Top 5 Political Porns!


 – Goes together like peanut butter and jelly, right?  Also, it’s actually true that there have been many political decisions made with something sexual behind them – like approving a bill in hopes to cover up an affair scandal.  If I’m not mistaken, I believe Larry Flynt actually just came out with a book about it, which is fitting to mention since this is a movie.

This classic political satire is 1970’s fantastic, with  (of Deep Throat fame) in a fictional campaign to become president.  If you need something awesome to get your mind off of the news coverage of this election, you’ve come to the right place!
Sure, this is a throwback from the 2008 election with our good ol’ hockey mom VP hopeful, Sarah Palin, but hey, it’s pop culture now.  Lisa Ann’s popularity went through the roof as soon as she busted out her skirt suits and chipper Alaskan accent – and then busted out of both of them.  Plus this flick won an AVN Award for Clever Title of the Year.
 I couldn’t get through this list without adding at least one of the Obama porns that came out during the 2008 election.  I haven’t seen any new ones this time around, so I just swiped this oldie-but-goodie to grace our pervy political picks.  I admit that it’s a little on the tacky side, but the alternative was worse, and I refuse to watch Obama Is Nailin’ Palin because that is just disturbing.
And lastly we have another dated beauty, which isn’t a classic really because it’s from the ’90s, though I guess that’s starting to push it’s way into classic status, huh?  Anyway, this cunning candidate is ready to get votes any way, which includes stuffing more than the ballot box.  Luckily he has some constituents that are willing to help, whatever it takes.  Yum.

Take a break from watching CNN and relax with a little political porn!

xoxo
-JD

Girlvana 4 (Disc 2)

I wanted to see what the big hulabaloo was over Lisa Ann.  She is in a ton of our movies and is one of the most popular stars on HotMovies and HotMoviesForHer.  She can be found in all sorts of MILFtastic and regular-tastic flicks.  I haven’t avoided this  ravishing lady on purpose, there are just so many other pornos on the list.  Girlvana 4 is an all girl spectacular and is filled with ladies of all ages.

Girlvana 4 (Disc 2)I’ll admit it, I came for Lisa Ann and I left with Sasha Grey.

I went straight for scene 2 starring Lisa (school teacher) and Ann Marie Rios (willing pupil) in need of attaining a little extra credit.  I know.  Yawn.  But, there’s nothing wrong with revisiting the age old porno tale of teacher and teacher’s pet.  The two go at it on the desk and let’s face it, I’ll never not watch hot desk sex.  There are lots of moans and oh’s and ooooohs’ and slurps and other juicy sounds.  I give her credit, Lisa Ann is hot.  She is incredibly easy on the eyes and definitely knows her way around the lady parts.  It was porny, not that it was a surprise, but worth mentioning just so you know.  They seemed to enjoy each other and left no vagina untouched.  Lisa Ann definitely showed me what she was working with a

I let the movie play to the next scene.  Oh Sasha Grey, you never disappoint.  You’re always fun to watch.  Whether you’re with boys or girls, or the movie is soft core or hard core or anywhere in between, you make magic happen.

Scene 3 starring Sasha Grey and AnnaBelle Lee was just lovely.  Sasha Grey went to town betwixt Anna Belle’s thighs and it was glorious.  There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary going on here – no clowns on tricycles or anything, but it was good old fashioned girl on girl lovin’ without the over the top noises like the previous scene.  We could still see and hear the enjoyment, it was just without the overdramatic moans and spit bubble sounds.  Sasha, being more of the giver here, had the adorable AnnaBelle all a flutter and overcome with what-the-fuckness.  Good times were had by all.

Girlvana 4 is a solid girl-on-girl flick starring sexy ladies that you know and love.  You pretty much get our standard porno fare, but it will absolutely satisfy you!

Watch Girlvana 4 (Disc 2) now!

Love,

Ginger

2010 F.A.M.E. Awards – The Fans Have Spoken!

It was all about viewers’ choice this weekend when the 5th F.A.M.E. Awards (Fans of Adult Media & Entertainment) took the stage at eXXXotica L.A.!  While the AVN’s are the Oscars of porn, it’s the F.A.M.E. awards that I think matter the most – I mean who knows what’s really hot in porn better than the fans?  And without further delay, here’s the hotness!

http://www.thefameawards.com/home.aspx

Favorite Female Star: Tori Black (she was fav rookie last year!)
Favorite Male Star: Evan Stone
Cougar of the Year: Lisa Ann
Favorite Oral Star: Sasha Grey
Favorite Anal Star: Jenna Haze
Favorite Breasts: Sunny Leone
Favorite Ass: Alexis Texas
Hottest Body: Teagan Presley (last year’s best ass!)
Dirtiest Girl in Porn: Jenna Haze
Favorite Underrated Star: Lexi Belle
Favorite New Starlet: Lupe Fuentes

Here is a list of the 2010 nominees!

Congrats to all the winners and nominees!

xoxo
-JD

2010 XRCO Awards!

And the winners are… Industry folks broke out the porno finery yet again as the XRCO (X-Rated Critics Organization) hit the Highlands Night Club in Hollywood last Thursday night for the 26th Annual XRCO Awards Show!

While there more categories than we can list (as with all awards shows),  we wanted to make sure to highlight a few of out favorite awesome wins of the evening.

Female Performer of the Year:
Tori Black

(She won 2010 Female Performer Of The Year at both AVN and XBIZ too!)

Male Performer of the Year:
Evan Stone
Best Single Performance – Actress:
Kimberly Kane in “The Sex Files: A Dark XXX Comedy
Superslut/Orgasmic Oralist:
Bobbi Starr
MILF of the Year: Lisa Ann (who else would it be?!)

Congrats to all the winners and everyone nominated! Woohoo!

For a full list of all the winners, check out XRCO!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

Link Love: Thanksgiving Edition

Oral Sex Phone?!? Looks Like It's Link Love!

Happy Humpday!  Welcome back to the mid-week stretch.  Actually is this far from the stretch – it’s the end!  And since Wednesday is the new Friday this week, we figured that link love would be the perfect way to close up this short week and start this long weekend right!

Let’s get to it!

– An oral sex phone from the 1970’s?  Crazy!  I don’t know whether to make a joke about being a it conversation starter or the perfect way to make a booty call.

–  First porn, now risque HBO!  Oprah Winfrey has become quite the little dirty birdy!  Her movie company, Harpo Films, has sketched out a deal with HBO to do a sexy pilot about a woman that leaves her perfect family and heads to the seedy underbelly of L.A.  The best part though – the pilot is being written by Erin Cressida Wilson, who is best known for writing the 2002 boss-secretary/BDSM indie flick “Secretary.”  Maggie Gyllenhaal on her hands and knees… mmmm.  Anyway, yeah… excited!  (via The Frisky)

Cuba is offering free penis implants?  Man, oh man, all the cigar jokes… it’s like these things just write themselves! (via Jezebel)

–  Emmanuel DelCour, one of the contestants on the Bravo’s new reality show “Chef Academy,” seems to have prior experience in front of the camera.  The porno camera, that is, as former star Jean Val Jean.  Now that it’s out in the open amongst his fellow competitors, I wonder how the contest will go.  It’s no Top Chef, but as long as there is a porno tie-in, I’m game to watch.

– Hero pilot Chesley Sullenberger is having rock star sex!  The U.S. Airways pilot who saved 155 lives on board his flight by thinking quickly and landing in the Hudson River earlier this year recently told NBC in an interview that the incident actually improved his sex life with his wife of 20 years.  I think super hero sex would be a better comparison, but hey, good sex is good sex, whatever it’s called. (via SUNfiltered)
Continue reading Link Love: Thanksgiving Edition

Savanna Sansom Takes On 30 Rock

For the people like me that can’t remember what happened five seconds ago, let alone earlier this week, this is a reminder that porn star Savanna Samson will be on 30 Rock tonight, playing “Porn Liz.”  Can. Not. Wait!

The Real Liz Lemon... ok fine, Tina Fey 

That’s right Lizes… give that script hell!

Lemon Out!

xoxo
J.D. Bauchery

ps.  While Savanna is awesome, I do think Lisa Ann would have been a funnier pick.

Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? – Adventures Of A Hockey MILF

Studio: HustlerCategory: Features

I tried to resist reviewing this movie, mostly because I still get a little angry whenever I see or hear any reference to Alaska’s fine governor, but the fact that Nina Hartley plays Hillary Clinton in it was just too much to pass by. Oddly enough, I didn’t love the threesome scene between Paylin, Hartley’s Clinton and Jada Fire’s Condi Rice. I think I was actually a little uncomfortable with the whole thing and couldn’t get over it. Weird.

Anyways, what I did really like was the opening scene where Mick Blue and Sascha play Russian dudes (apparently Russia is in her backyard!) who totally tag team Paylin. While she’s no Tina Fey, Lisa Ann does a really good job of portraying McCain’s former running mate and I have to say I enjoyed watching these men go to town on her.

While I was a little reluctant to see this one, the non-sex scenes are freaking hilarious and Lisa Ann is fantastic as Paylin. She’s a super sexy and smart lady, and if you missed it the first time around you should check out the video interview we did with her last year. It’s nice to see her getting a lot of press again!

If you are far enough removed from the bullshit that went down with the real Palin, and are looking for a fun movie with big stars and hot sex, this Hustler flick is pretty rad.

PS Mike Horner is super awesome as Bill O’Reilly!
-The Porn Librarian

Watch Who’s Nailin’ Paylin? Now!

Lisa Ann Rocks Eminem’s New Video

Lisa Ann, 2009 AVN MILF/Cougar Performer of the Year and the original porno Sarah Palin, can add a new title to her repertoire: music video babe.  This week Ann shot her first crossover role as a stripper in rapper Eminem’s latest video, “We Made You.”  The song is also the first single off his upcoming album, which means the video will be all over the place once it debuts on April 7th.  All you Lisa lovers out there should keep your eye on MTV to see Ms. Ann work the pole. 

So, now we have her fucking and we have her dancing, but what about what she has to say?  Well, it’s your lucky day, because we posted an awesome video interview with Lisa Ann a while back.  Just to reiterate how freakin’ cool this chick is, here is the video once more.

And just for the record, how hot is it that Eminem chose an awesome older star for his video?!?  He could have picked anyone I’m sure, but he chose a super sext MILF.  Good job Slim Shady!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

AVN Winners

This past weekend the 2009 AVN Awards took over Las Vegas to celebrate the best of what porno has to offer.  Basically the Academy Awards of adult, the AVNs are a big damn deal and everyone involved and nominated gets pretty freaking excited. We here at HM4her have been getting ready for the awards by reviewing noms all last week and generally getting pumped for everyone who recieved a nod.

Anyway, a bunch of our favorite sexy folks won and congratulations are desevered all around. 

Since there are a whopping 125+ different categories that recieved awards, I’m only going to shout out a few of our favorites that won the covented golden guy… um, I mean square glass trophy thing.

Continue reading AVN Winners