Happy Humpday!  Welcome to the midweek stretch.  At the end of this week, it will officially be autumn 2011!  These seasons are flying by, but luckily each and every week we get a chance to stop and celebrate the small things like Humpday, that middle-of-the-week bump that we get to ride into the weekend.  How do we celebrate, you ask?  With Link Love, of course!  We scour the internet from top to bottom, looking for the sexiest news, which we then bring right to you here at HM4Her.  Now let’s get to it!

- Something there should totally be more of in life – porno blooper reels.  Yes please!

- Whether or not you agree that Maggie Gyllenhaal should be lending out her vibrators like a library, the real thing to focus on here is that Maggie Gyllenhaal talks about using vibrators, which means we get to picture her using those vibrators.  Grinnnn.

- A thousand nude swimmers hit the Dead Sea for an amazingly beautiful photo shoot.  Take a look at the pictures.

-  There are a bunch of super strange animal wieners in the world, but the Canadian Leopard Slug might just be the strangest.  Plus there is a video of them mating!

- If John Holmes’ cock wasn’t considered a work of art before, it most certainly is now.  University of Iowa M.F.A. sculpture student Emily Moran Barwick’s show “The John Holmes Prick Parade” features two dozen life-size plaster castings of the classic star’s famous member.  Barwick’s use of Holmes’ penis is to explore society’s perception and use of the human body.

- Also from AVN, the 2012 AVN Award Pre-nom submission site is now up and running!  January is only a few months away!

- Just in time for Halloween – the trailer for Wet Dream on Elm St!  How exciting!

- And lastly, what a fucking AWESOME and SMART campaign.  Just watch it all the way through.

Hope this gets you through til the weekend.

xoxo
-JD

We recently added Carlos Batts’ latest movie, Artcore, and you won’t find it available online outside of the HotMovies network. That got me thinking about all of the amazing movies we offer on an exclusive basis and I thought I’d share some of my favorites here.

Cecil Howard’s Foxtrot: Cecil Howard is a legend and I think it’s amazing that you can watch his classics online now. Technology is the best! Foxtrot follows a rowdy crowd of NYC folks as they ring in the new year by getting busy. I recommend it and anything else Howard directed!

Machine Screwd: There is no Fem-Dom I admire/fear more than Irene Boss. If you’re looking for top-notch fetish material, I totally recommend her studio BossDVD. Machine Screwd is a great flick with a variety of fucking machines and a bunch of gorgeous women.

Porn Fan Fuckfest – Budapest: I’m over a decade removed from college, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a good college fuckfest every once in a while. I’m a big fan of Shane’s World because they make porn fun and that’s important to me. In this one, you’ll see a bunch of hot Euro lady stars fuck and suck regular guys like Dougie. It’s pretty awesome.

Pin-Up Girls Volume 4: Girlfriends Films is the standard when it comes to girl/girl porn in this business. In recent years they started a new line, Pin-Up Girls, that I really like. It has a vintage erotica feeling, but features today’s biggest stars. I know, it sounds pretty sweet. You don’t want to miss scene four of this one – Dia Zerva and Prinzzess are so damn hot together!

John Holmes Enterprises: There’s no bigger stud in the history of XXX than John Holmes and we’re thrilled to offer this exclusive classic footage from the John Holmes estate. Some of this stuff was never released before! If you’re a fan of Holmes and the golden age of porn, watching this footage isn’t an option!

-The Porn Librarian

John Holmes is one of the biggest (wink, wink) porno stars of all time. I can’t imagine a world where his name wouldn’t come up in a conversation about the industry’s legends. Besides starring in over 2,500 film loops, he’s been the subject of numerous books and the inspiration for Mark Wahlberg’s character in Boogie Nights.

Today’s Top Five Tuesday features my five favorite John Holmes movies of all time. I’m a big fan of the golden age of porn and he was in most of the really big movies, so it’s hard to select just five. However, these are the titles I find myself recommending to people over and over again.

Insatiable: Insatiable, which stars Holmes and the amazing Marilyn Chambers, is one of my favorite classic XXX films so I’m really excited to be able to highlight it here. The acting, set and story are all great and the performers are really fucking fantastic. Of course, Holmes plays Chambers dream lover! If you’re looking for a movie to watch in it’s entirety, Insatiable is perfect.

Johnny Wadd: There’s always one movie that I feel like I MUST add to each T5T list and here’s today’s. The Johnny Wadd films are legendary and for a good reason. This is the film that started the series and the fact that it was unavailable for years makes the fact that you can click a couple of buttons and watch it even more amazing.

The Senator’s Daughter: In this must see movie, Holmes plays man who loses his cock in a tragic office. Fortunately, the government has the tools to rebuild him, but there is a price… This one is perfect for fans of fucking and Mystery Science Theater 3000. I suggest watching the whole movie, but if you’re looking for the highlights check out the last scene with JH and Leslie Bovee – it’s amazing!

Autobiography Of A Flea: This is one of those porno’s that college professors show in class. It’s super smart, totally sexy and another example of women making great pornography! Director Sharon McKnight directed the film after writing the screenplay. I’ve read the book too and have to say she did an amazing job. Holmes plays Monsieur Delmont and it’s some of his finest acting.

The Orgy Machine: Since I just hit you with a pretty serious film (at least in this genre) I figured I’d follow it with something a little more fun. The Orgy Machine plays out like an Austin Powers film, but stars Holmes and his giant cock instead of Mike Myers. Even if it’s a bit silly, it was shot when Holmes was in his prime and features some grade A XXX action.

-The Porn Librarian

I know that men like to hear that size doesn’t matter, but sometimes it does!

Today’s Top Five Tuesday features our favorite super-sized performers. While the majority of the men in adult were blessed by whatever god is concerned with such matters, these studs stand out in a sea of giant wangs.

Shane Diesel: It was nearly impossible to find a picture of Shane to use on this blog because all you ever get is cock shots with this dude! Of course, that’s because he’s packing a monster in his pants… When it comes to girth, I’m not sure anyone can top this dude.

Ben Andrews: Big Ben made a big splash in Lucas Entertainment’s The Intern as a nerd working for a porno company who has a big secret in his pants – an 11 inch uncut beauty! Besides being a hilarious movie, it was a great intro to this handsome cock slinger!

John Holmes: If there’s one guy that I had to include on this list, it’s Holmes. The legendary star from the golden age of porn is still among the biggest members of the hung stud club. Fortunately, we’ve got hundreds of videos to remember the late, great Johnny Wadd!

Lexington Steele: Steele is a guy who’s been around for ever with a good reason. He has a giant tool and knows how to use it! We have almost 600 movies starring this guy, so I can only imagine how much pussy this guy has gotten over the years.

Chris Charming: Chris is another guy who’s always mentioned when people start listing off the biggest dongs in adult. This German stud is another guy who has been around for over a decade and he has also directed a number of titles over the years. He was really great in E for Eva if you’re interested in seeing him in action!

Size Queens rejoice!

-The Porn Librarian

I’m feeling classical today. There’s some undeniable appeal about original features from way back when with single name titles like “Insatiable.” So let’s dive in and see if Marilyn Chambers can be sated or if her lust knows no bounds!

I’ll give it to “Insatiable” they really know how to knock out an intro scene. One steamy masturbation/fantasy scene later and we’re introduced to Flo and the famous Sandra Chase, the rich heiress who is about to embark on a rather debauched journey through the world of the entertainment industry.

I love these actresses! None of them make me wonder for a second if they’re under the legal age, and they put up pretty good performances in their considerable non sex scenes as well. The sets are super impressive and I even like the costuming, it’s so – fitting and normal. Everything is appropriate, no one comes out wearing a extra short skirt and ‘fuck me ‘ pumps even when the movie flashes back to Sandra’s first sexual experience (Sandra wears this floor length pink satin number that’s totally not your typical porn fare).

There’s this moment, while Sandra is zipping along the highway in her convertible and pulls over to pick up a hitchhiker; when Sandra pulls down her sunglasses and gave the erstwhile produce salesman the ‘look’ that was simply classic. What Sandra does to him in the shade of a few trees is both comic gold and a wonderful blowjob scene. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone suck a cock with that much genuine enthusiasm and skill in a long, long time.

What happened to pornos like this one? “Insatiable” was fun, rich and decadent like its setting and though it had its icky moments they were few and far between among it’s glitz, glamour and hot as hell hardcore action. “Insatiable” wasn’t just titillating it was fascinating to watch and I kind of hope there’s a sequel because now I’m hooked on the life of Sandra Chase and her horny bunch of friends and acquaintances.

Watch the Video

Studio: VCX Category: Classics

I’m still bitter enough about W to get excited when I see a movie called “Fuck Bush.” I probably need to move on or whatever, but at least I have a deserving target for my rage! This VCX collection doesn’t have anything to do with government, but does capture some of the biggest stars of the golden age of porn, including Kay Parker and Dorothy LeMay, in all of their hairy glory!

I have to talk about scene eight, from the classic flick Sex World, because it starts off with the best porno music I’ve ever heard in my entire life. And that’s before Kay Parker enters and announces her need for a “huge, gorgeous cock.” Of course, her wish is some lucky dude’s command and he’d better have big balls if he hopes to satisfy Parker! Joey Silvera and his mustache are up to the task as she sucks him off while people watch behind two-way glass. Sex World is apparently a pretty cool place to be if you’re a voyeur.

There are also two scenes featuring John Holmes, including the first scene that features a threeway with Desiree Cousteau and Seka from the movie Sweet Alice. I totally heart Seka and this is pretty freaking hot.

While classic compilations are sometimes thrown together without much thought, I have to admit I’m pretty impressed with this one. Big stars, good scenes and natural ladies getting down and dirty! Really a must-see for fans of classic porn.

Ps. After getting this little taste, I am totally adding Sex World and Sweet Alice to my list of movies to watch.

-The Porn Librarian

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Studio: Adam & Eve Category: 2009 AVN Award Nominees

Before I knew a damn thing about porno, my friends and I were calling our high school librarian “Johnny Wadd.” This may seem like a really random thing to share, but I think it’s a good example of mainstream John Holmes and his alter ego Wadd truly are.

So Johnny Wadd is the type of dude teenage boys who don’t want to be hairdressers aspire to be. He’s a badass detective who lives and fucks hard. Unfortunately, in this film, Holmes isn’t quite the bad ass he was in his earlier films. Turns out years of hard living and a murder trial can wear even the most notorious cock slinger down.

Even though this flick doesn’t stand up to his earlier work, it’s still a fun porno with some really hot scenes and well worthy of its 2009 AVN Award nomination for Best Classic Release. The plot is pretty simple, Wadd’s partner is murdered and he is trying to figure out who did it. Apparently banging a ton of chicks is an integral part of the investigation…

Besides Holmes, there are plenty of big name stars from the golden age of adult including Bunny Blue, Sheri St. Clair and Melissa Melendez. Asian beauty Mai Lin takes on Holmes in the fourth scene, my favorite. They swap oral favors before Lin is impaled by his legendary cock. It’s a pretty long scene with lots of positions, so you really get to see Holmes in action. A lot of classic scenes are too short for my liking, so I really appreciate this one. Plus Lin, who I’ve never taken notice of before, is really hot.

While this isn’t the best Johnny Wadd film, it’s one that classic film fans shouldn’t pass by.
-The Porn Librarian

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Studio: Caballero Video Category: Classic Porn Stars

This compilation is a great example of why I love Seka! Back in the day there was no bigger star than the Platinum Princess, whose beauty and appetite for sex are legendary. Swedish Erotica 78 has compiled scenes from classic films that are really hard to find like Summer Heat and Seka’s Tale, which makes this girl very happy because I’ll watch any Seka scene I can find.

The clip from Piece of Cake (scene five) is great as Seka teaches a young stewardess how to pick up men – talk about learning from the master! I don’t want to divulge her secrets, but one of them does include roller skates. After the quick educational session, we get to see just how the scene played out as Seka strips and sucks off one very lucky guy. It may be only eight minutes long, but they managed to pack plenty of action in, including standing sex and anal.

The final scene is really what did it for me as Seka gets double teamed by John Holmes and some dude named Jamie. First, she looks absolutely gorgeous! Secondly, I love the banter between the group – Holmes sits back and watches and talks dirty while she sits on Jamie’s dick. When you’ve got two of the biggest stars ever, you know the sex is going to be good, but I really loved how laid back and fun this scene was.

If you’re a fan of Seka or classic porno, you should take a look at this rad comp video.

The Porn Librarian

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Studio: HotOldMovies Category: Classics

I just had to highlight this short scene featuring one of the most notorious porn stars of all time, John Holmes. There’s just something about it that demanded my attention – and no it wasn’t his enormous member! Although it’s only six minutes long, it seems to tell the tale of seduction far better than a majority of movies released today. First, it opens on Holmes and a beautiful brunette and they’re both wearing clothes. And I’m not talking about her in lingerie and him in tube socks – they’re both dressed for work! As he kisses her, he reveals her gorgeous tits, which he is soon bathing in his tongue. She gets up and undresses for him, revealing the kind of lingerie I’d like to think all secretaries wear under their tweed skirts, and before long he’s inside her. There’s seriously a ton of action packed into this classic clip, but it never seems rushed. If you’re a fan of vintage porno, this quickie is definitely worth seeing.
The Porn Librarian

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Studio: Paradise Visuals Category: 2008 AVN Award Nominees

John Holmes is a legend, there’s no denying that. Countless starlets have agreed that he was the “biggest” male star of all time, and while I can’t speak to that, I can officially declare him a pop culture hero. The Beastie Boys reference him in song, Boogie Nights is based on his life, and I’m guessing I’m not the only teen who knew his name before they had any idea who or what he was. The Devil in Mr. Holmes is a foreign shot film (which means the English is dubbed and ridiculous) in which Holmes makes a deal with the devil that allows him to seduce women just by looking at them. Whipping out his monster cock probably would have had the same results, without invoking Lucifer, but that movie had been made a hundred times already. The highlights for me were Karin Shubert getting it doggy-style from Holmes and the grand finale, an orgy of epic proportions. Director Giorgio Grande somehow managed to bring together a cast of the hottest American and European stars of the time, making this a movie any classic movie fan must see.
-The Porn Librarian