J.D and R.J.   photo courtesy of drivenbyboredom.com

I got my picture taken with Ron Jeremy.  Well, that about sums up my Saturday night. 

Haha, yeah right! 

While the Porn Librarian and I both breifly mentioned last week that we were having a party, I don’t think either of us gave it justice.  Our big brother site HotMovies.com reached it’s 100,000 movie (which inlcudes all of the movies on HMFH) which is a big damn deal, so we had a huge blowout to celebrate our accomplishments.  We rented out a massive, three-floor club in Philly (where we are based) and partied hard with an open bar, performances by Peek-A-Boo Revue and America’s most dangerous game show Strip For Pain and rubbed elbows with some of the biggest names in the porno world, including the aforementioned Ron Jeremy, Flower Tucci and Joanna Angel.  And yes, I know that this reads like a press release, because I just got it off of the press release. 

But not to worry, I planned this party – yeah, that’s why I haven’t been blogging as often the last few months… sorry - so I know everything there is to know about the happenings of this debaucherous affair – both in front of and behind the stage.  Now, I can’t tell it all, I wouldn’t want to incriminate anyone (just joking…), but here is a list of my favorite moments of the evening.

- My coworker coming up to me and telling me that Flower Tucci just squirted all over his leg.  And even better when she squirted right in front of me on the stage!  I literally had to step back to avoid the stream!

- Getting first glance at the Porn Saints’ paintings as I watched them hang the art.  Truly amazing!  If I had a few extra hundreds of dollars hanging around, I’d totally have bought the Jiz Lee painting (I wish I could find a link, so hot!).  Oh well, maybe I’ll start saving.

- Meeting the Burning Angel girls, especially Joanna Angel, who is so much smaller in person.  They were all super nice and totally easy going – oh and total badasses on stage during Strip For Pain.  SFP is basically a game show where make contestants submit themselves to all sorts of physical pains to get lap dances from half naked girls.  Well, these gals were the Burning Angel ladies, so I believe the punishment was extra painful.  Let’s see, there was plenty of kicks to the balls, arm hair burning, snorting wasabi, electrocution and deep throating a massive dildo.  It was quite the impressive show!  All in all, no one got hurt too too badly and we got to see lots of sexy tattooed girl parts.  Long as I’m not getting tasered, I’m not complaining. 

- Getting to watch a little bit of our 100,000 movie, It’s a Secretary Thing (Thanks to studio Elegant Angel!), which was projected onto one of the big walls of the club.  Especially with two of the stars there!  Jenaveve Jolie and Evie Delatosso were both hanging out at the party and it was kinda neat to be like ‘oh here they are on screen and here they are licking each other’s boobs for all the flashing cameras.’  Very sureal, but totally fun.

- Walking up to Ron Jeremy to introduce myself to see if he needed anything in particular and finding myself suddenly in a picture.  That’s the one at the top of the post.  So if I look a little dazed, there’s your reason.  And unlike quite a number of other ladies at the party, I did not have Ron Jeremy’s autograph on my boobs or my butt at the end of the evening.  Oh well, there is always next time.

- The Peek-A-Boo Revue. So awesome.  Not only are they truly talented performers and totally fun to watch, they were so nice and really great people in general.  And that Lulu Lollipop with her snake – all I can say is “wow!”  Oh and Cherry Bomb kept calling me ”cupcake” all night because of the cupcake tattoo I have on my arm.  It turns out that one of her routines for the night was all about cupcakes! Yay! It doesn’t take a lot for me to blush and giggle my face off – just a cute gal callin’ me “cupcake!”  Check out a few pictures of them from the party at HotMovies: The Blog.

- And last, but most definitely not least, hanging out with The Porn Librarian and her awesome lady for the five minutes I wasn’t running around.  I miss PL like woah because she works remotely and lives so far away, so I try to spend as much time in her presence when she’s nearby.  Unfortuantely I wasn’t able to really hang out for too long because I was a busy bee.  Sorry PL!!  But The Porn Librarian is amazing and though five minutes wasn’t very long for a visit, just seeing her smiling face in front of me and not her ICQ chat box was enough to tide me over til next time.

Oh, and one last special thanks goes out to my girlfriend, who saw what a spaz I turn into when I’m stressed and had me just sit with her and chill out for a bit.  It was so needed.  Plus she helped me hand out bags and generally keep going until 3:30 am.  Thanks babez!

Alright, finally, the longest blog post ever is coming to an end.  The party was awesome, everything turned out just fine and everyone had a great time.  I am still tired and recovering from all the planning and craziness, but it was well worth it! 

And I got my picture taken with Ron Jeremy.  Just another Saturday night in the porno biz.

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery