Tag Archives: Game of Thrones

Game Of Thrones and Porn

Now that we’re partway through season 6 of HBO’s smash hit Game Of Thrones, fans are looking forward to seeing more of their favorite characters, dragons, and, of course, boobs ‘n butts. For a show that many have both praised and derided for its excessive use of primetime nudity and softcore sex, it’s no surprise that it has had tons of overlap with the porn industry. From XXX parodies to podcasts to cameos of our favorite stars, Game Of Thrones has brought tons of juicy extras for porn watchers.

Game of Bones – Winter Is Cumming

Game Of Bones... Winter Is CummingGame Of Thrones has legions of obsessive, dedicated fans who deserve a porn parody made by fans, for fans. Enter Game of Bones – Winter Is Cumming from the dirty minds at Wood Rocket. Director Lee Roy Myers and crew aren’t afraid to make XXX parodies that lovingly poke fun at their source material (and themselves!) resulting in super fun, silly, punny smut that the most hardcore of fans will love. Game of Bones is no exception, and definitely earned its 2015 AVN and XBIZ nominations for Best Parody. We finally get to see what made Pod The Rod’s visit to the whorehouse so special with Anthony Rosano and Dahlia Sky; Tommy Pistol and Dana DeArmond (Talisa) riff on Robb Stark’s really good idea to go hang out with the Freys; April O’Neil’s busty Tight Walker gets some solo time in that famous sex cave north of the wall; Jon Snow does that thing with his tongue to Ygritte (Claire Robbins); Jorah gets cockblocked by Daario Neharis (Aaron Wilcoxxx) and the MILF of Dragons (Anikka Albrite); Cersei (Tanya Tate) and Margaery (Aaliyah Love) get turned on when they get news of a bukkake massacre. Look closely and you might notice that the Iron Throne is made out of hundreds of dongs, and that Khaleesi’s dragons are not really dragons at all, but are actually two adorable kittens.

Porn Star Cameos

For a show that has to employ a whole lot of professionally naked people, it makes sense to cast former and current porn stars for nude scenes.

Dilara/Sibel Kekilli

Sibel Kekilli Dilara Game Of Thonres

The most prominent former porn star of Game Of Thrones is definitely German-Turkish actress Sibel Kekilli, who appeared in a handful of German pornos in the early 2000s before getting her big break in the mainstream film Head-On. She gained international attention in 2010 when she landed the role of Shae, Tyrion’s loving yet jealous mistress.

Sahara Knite

Armeca Sahara Knite Game Of Thrones

Sahara showed up for a few episodes in seasons 1 and 2 as Armeca, a non-speaking prostitute in the brothel. She’s probably best remembered for one of the show’s most famous sexposition scenes, in which Ros and Armeca learn about the intersection of gay-for-pay lesbianism and the male gaze while Littlefinger monologues about Littlefinger.

Masie Dee

Daisy Masie Dee Game Of Thrones

All natural English model Masie Dee played Daisy, one of Littlefinger’s prostitutes (are you sensing a theme?) She appeared in a few episodes of season 2, most notably when she and Ros were gifted to Joffrey on one of the most stomach-churning scenes of the whole series.

Aeryn Walker
Aeryn Walker Game Of Thrones

Aeryn briefly appeared in season four episode Oathkeeper as one of Craster’s wives being held captive by Karl Tanner and the other mutineers of the Night’s Watch. Apparently she had help getting the role from friend Masie Dee. She’s a Aussie amateur model, known for her love of cosplaying and all things nerdy.

Samantha Bentley

Samantha Bentley Game Of Thrones

English porn performer Samantha Bentley has appeared as not one, not two, but three unique prostitutes on Game of Thrones. She was first cast in the season four episode The Laws Of Gods And Men as a prostitute entertaining Lysene pirate Salladhor Saan at a bathhouse. In season five, she played another two prostitutes in the same episode, High Sparrow, first as a Volantine prostitute dressed as Daenerys, and again as The Stranger in the High Septon’s pious sexual roleplay back at Littlefinger’s brothel.

Jessica Jensen

Jessica Jensen Game Of Thrones

Jessica Jensen is another English porn performer. She played one of the three prostitutes who took the virginity of Podrick Payne (AKA Pod The Rod) in season 3. She also briefly appears in the same bathhouse scene as Samantha Bentley.

Winter Is Coming… On Your Face Podcast

Siouxsie Q Game Of Thrones

Sex worker and porn performer Siouxsie Q started podcasting with The Whorecast, and then expanded with spinoff Winter Is Coming… On Your Face. Co-host and fellow sex worker Sam Solo is a Game of Thrones super fan and book reader, and helps show watcher Siouxsie understand the various plot and character intricacies during their weekly recaps. There’s a ton of Thrones recap podcasts out there, but only On Your Face brings the perspective of sex workers. Siouxsie and Sam do a wonderful job of critiquing the show’s depiction of the oldest profession, and they do it with a lot of wit and love that makes their podcast one of my favorites.

Gratuitous Primetime Nudity

Mr Skin Game of ThronesIf you just want to take another look at Melisandre’s boobs (the young version) or Daario Naharis’ booty, Mr. Skin has plenty of nude scene clips from Game Of Thrones. Find some here, here, and here!

Judy Hologram is coming. Follow her on Twitter @JudyHologram and the rest of us at @HotMoviesForHer.

Morning Quickie – GRRM Iron Throne, Remy Declines ET XXX, Should Men Stop Wanking to Online Porn

An exquisitely beautiful song about fish sex and a “Hot Dog in My Buns”

Remy LaCroix straight up declined the offer to star in the “ET XXX” parody, claiming “I just don’t think children’s movies should be made into porn parodies,” and also because she “has taste.”

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Because a man watched so much porn that couldn’t get off with regular sex, he decided to take the no-fap challenge to see if it would help the plumbing issue.

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Lohan * Deen + July 29th = lucky bitchz in nyc

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Prepare yourself. This is what the Iron Throne looks like in the HBO series.

wait for iiiiiiiit…

All these apps are out that can help you “get closer to your lover” via technology, so they claim. Screw that, let’s use it to cheat and be baddies, instead!

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Yo, Kanye’s new video for “Black Skinhead” (wtf x infinity) was leaked, and obvs he’s pissed, but we’re just scared shitless.

watch

The worst way to wake someone up is to put them through this. Jerk. (But mad props)

Are you now prepared for the throne that George RR Martin envisions?

HBO plays with toys

Tits and Glass App is Back, The Cuddle Toys Are Coming, Help Finish Game of Thrones – Here’s The Morning Quickie

Mikandi’s Google Glass app, Tits And Glass, is back! Yeah, now we can log on and watch all the photographs of beautiful models we can handle in this revised SFW gallery app! …wait, whaaaa? SFW? The biggest bummer that ever bummed is true, though Mikandi says once you get all the non-pornagraphic material you can handle, you can then boot up the standard “internet” on a “computer” and complete your NSFW fix there.

preview here

College Humor compiled a list from those weirdos that actually post one-star reviews of porn videos. Look, I get it, I get that not everyone is into the same thing and these days, we’re all a reviewer. But it’s PORN, people. PORNOGRAPHY. A visual, sexual aid to stimulate your arousal. That’s like, just, no. Reviews featuring one-star ratings are a no-no, bad dog.

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Years ago, back in the freshman days of college, I worked at that clothing party called Express. This one random whatever-day-of-the-week, I went to the back of the store to count new inventory. My stock co-manager Mia, wasn’t there, which was weird, she never ever missed a shift, seriously she could be Exorcist-vomiting and still convince management to let her stay. I checked in with the boss of the hour on why Mia was M.I.A. “Uhhhh…um…she had a baby last night.” “WHAT?! She wasn’t pregnant!!!” “She was, she just had no idea. She went into labor here thinking it was back pains from lifting something.” So this whole, I had no idea I was pregnant might seem impossible to you, but I’ve witnessed it. And Slate covered how and why it occurs. Believe.

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Lingering on some branches in the sways of the nation, Honey Bees gather on top of each other and just chill, hang out, get to know each other. This video shows you “How to Stick Your Hand in a Beehive”. I did not tell you to do this, I’m just sharing because the one dude sounds like Seth Rogan. And you know you want to see if any of their fingers swell up to animal balloon size.

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Oh good grief, what are we coming to with this “cuddling is the new fucking” idea? Having a choice of a Flubber pillow, a hugging coat, or an actual place of business where you pay to only spoon with someone, which would you choose? Nerve uncovered this collection of blue-balls-inducing cuddle products.

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As I recently came out and admitted, I’m a fan of Stoya now — she’s okay by me, alright in my book, swell material, all that. But in what has to be the most awkward “put yourself in her shoes” thought, she admits that she all but ruined porn for her dad. Shudder. I know my dad loves watching some mattress actress action, and to think, what if I had gone into…oh God no…NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

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Just for my Game of Thronesses out there, fans are trying to pay him to finish “The Winds of Winter” by the end of 2014. Uhhh, guys? I think the fact that you have $1,999,000 left to go out of a $2 million dollar goal isn’t that great of a start. And the end of 2014? That’s like 13 years away!

help!

SB#5 Has Died, Get Your Mile High Card in Ohio, Drawing a Penis is Now Automatic – Morning Quickie

Here’s a lady that I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot of this year — Dayna Vendetta. I’m sure as shit you’ve heard of her already, seen her, jerked off to her, but have you watched the lady after her redux? She’s a redhead bombshell now, and hell yes does it make a difference. She’s just signed up to work with the stellar team over at The Rub PR, and OC Modeling. She’ll be launching her new site soon, DaynaVendettaXXX.com, and expect some anal action coming shortly.

Hopefully, at this point in the day you’ve been alerted to the awesome news. That damned Senate Bill #5 bullshit that tried to say Texas ladies were all but banned from getting abortions is dead, dead, the wicked shit is dead. But since you should already know that, Jezebel’s Celebrity Gif Party dedicated to the news, features comments that are stealing the stage. My fave is a picture of the Honorable Wendy Davis with a dragon on her shoulder, à la Dany T.

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In so much less but totally still-fun news, Miss Lola Byrd has shown me the ways of the Penis Drawing Machine. It draws a shoddy penis. It spells out PENIS. And that’s it. IT’S AWESOME. Thanks to her for entertaining my morning with this fine piece of craftsmanship.

I want to be one of the first to tell you; a Tupac musical is in the works, and it’s hitting Broadway next year. If you are not excited about this, go put yourself in a corner until you’ve thought long and hard about your shame.

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If you live anywhere near Ohio…no, forget that. If you ever wanted to fuck in an airplane than I have good news. Flamingo Air, in Cinci-nat-nat, promises to deliver to you a discreet pilot to fly you and your fuck-buddy partner around the area, complete with curtains, a bed-seat, champagne and…chocolates (too cliche, I prefer Jameson). You have a flat rate of $425 to pay and then you get your hour of initiation into the Mile High Club.

purchase

Oh, and speaking of miles high, the tightwalker dude totally cheated, and FunnyOrDie has uncovered his secret.

“Daredevil Nik Wallenda completed a high-wire walk across the Grand Canyon without a safety harness, repeatedly saying ‘Thank you, Jesus”‘along the way. It was all a little suspicious.”

Porn Ban in Cabs, Dating Profiles for Game Of Thrones Characters, in the Morning Quickie

And the Cup came home! I guess I haven’t shared my hockey obsession here much or…ever…but it’s a dedicated passion of mine, besides boobs, diet coke, and dresses. Being from Chicago, I’m a huge ‘Hawks fan, and just want to offer my congratulations for being Stanley Cup winners again, even if this season was a jumbled, shortened mashy lump. Ah. Brings back memories of being in the midst of chaos on Clark St. just a few years ago.

I’m still mourning over the end of Game of Thrones. And the nudity of it that I can no longer enjoy on Sundays. But there’s a compilation! Of all of the nipples! It’s nostalgic and sextastic.

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I’m also obsessed with this creature known as “Courtney Stodden“. Have u herd of her? Shez so ridic prittY! JK. But she used to be. And she looked eloquently natural and purely blonde. After you see these pictures, go back to this one. It’s funny.

Play this game with me — I have been in a cab when the cab/cabbie has: been in a car accident (yes), been pulled over (yeah), spoke to his family in another country in a different language and have been 110% sure they are talking about your un-brushed hair (on the reg), threatened to punch you and your crew (uh-huh), for not having cash and refusing to go to the ATM (damn, son), watched porn (uhhh, hold up). In St. Louis, it is now banned (what do you mean now?!) for cabbies to watch porn in their vehicles.

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I’m sneaking in one more GoT reference, and then I’ll knock it off for awhile. The group Team Pwnicorn went all “cheapy OKCupid” and made dating profiles for the characters. You can see the rest here, but below are my two favorites. Look at all the ads underneath the profiles.

 

 

Girlfriends Films Gives to Hurricane Sandy Relief and More in Morning Quickie

Director and star Melissa Monet just announced that Girlfriends Films will be donating $1,000 to the Stephen Siller Tunnel to Towers Foundation, supporting the Staten Island aid and relief due to Hurricane Sandy. Every month the studio selects a “near and dear” charity chosen by one of their stars to donate to, which is ridiculously awesome to us! To see more about this monthly charity program that is pretty much the greatest thing I have ever heard about, go here.

help melissa’s and gf’s efforts here

If you haven’t seen the ending of this season’s Game of Thrones, don’t push play. For those of you that have or just don’t care, here’s Theon Greyjoy’s version of “Dick In A Box”

I’ve worked a lot of jobs in my life-career, and I’m proud to say that serving has been one of them. But never in a million years would I assume that tipping would go the wayside. At sushi joint Sushi Yasuda in Midtown Manhattan however, tips are done for. Servers are paid a salary, and receive benefits. This is in an attempt to preserve the Japanese custom, and authenticate everything the restaurant has to offer.

read more here

Where You Should Never Have Sex And More In The Morning Quickie

After yesterday’s viral round of the whole “Michael Douglas got cancer from giving oral sex” story, Funny or Die decided that that was prime material for it’s latest “leaked interview”. In the recorded confession, the “voice” of Michael Douglas reviews how the films of his past influenced the way he, um, got cancer.

listen to it here

Since my YOUR day is never complete without some Game of Thrones action or nudity or death or what have you, our friends over at Fleshbot and Peeperz are offering you the scoop on Shae and Ros, respectively.

see nakie Shae here

see nakie Ros here

When I first heard of the Heeldo I was super confused. Do you strap the thing to your foot and repeatedly kick your partner’s vag or butt? Or do you literally “go fuck yourself”? So when I heard that foot fetish queen Ashley Sinclair became the official spokesperson for the product, I knew my questions would be answered without an extensive Google search.

find out how to use it while ogling Ashley Sinclair here

Teen girl lifestyle site Gurl (clever), likes to run articles about “How to Dress Like Your Fave Cinderella Characters (!)” and “Tips for Finding the Perfect Summer Fling” and “How to Mix Up Your Own Detox Water”. Welp, they recently just ran an article called “8 Places NOT to Have Sex”, and it’s going to kill that rebellious bug that bit you when you fantasized over…kitchen sex.

read it and weep here

Here’s an awkward, “ehhhhhh” story for you. A Washington teen recently went to her prom and was denied entry because of her large breasts. That’s one way of looking at it. Another way is that she went to her prom, was asked to cover her cleavage with a shawl because she broke the dress code, and left after an hour because she felt humiliated. Either way it’s getting attention.

decide who’s right here

Google Glass Bans Porn In the Morning Quickie

Even with the greatest announcement that app pro MiKandi was going to release the first round of porn apps on Google Glass, well, Google decided that they just weren’t having any of that. Shortly after MiKandi announced the release – and I mean like just hours later – Google was all “nuh-uh, not in my town!” and revised their policy to rid any hopeful app makers of releasing graphically sexual material.

read about it here

Now that the fans of Game of Thrones are in a serious mourning period, myself included (I may have overdid it on Twitter yesterday in my grief), we get good news! The porn parody of the popular HBO show has been green-lit, and casting will begin shortly in an undisclosed location. WoodRocket.com‘s writer and director Lee Roy Myers loved the social media support for the idea, and is calling it Game of Bones, and they are going “all out for it,” which yes, includes dragons.

read about it here

As I’m sure you do, I appreciate a good fart joke. But a London man might have just taken it too far into the “Gross, WTF” realm. Brian Whitehead is being accused of photographing a woman up-skirt, and his answer to the accusation is along the lines of “what if I was just trying to light a fart on fire?”

read about it here

Angelina is looking – still – stunningly gorgeous after her double mastectomy, and due to her much-applauded decision to have the surgery done, we will hopefully be able to have her in our lives for years and years to come. Bravo, lady.

I loathe articles that begin with anything like “why your girlfriend likes/obsesses over/melts for…” but I may have finally found an exception to the ridiculous girlfriend-assumption argument. A Thrillist reporter released an article on her Chick Chat (groan) advise blog on why “your girlfriend likes” comedienne Amy Schumer. I recently fell in love with Schumer on Inside Amy Schumer because of a sketch dealing with one-night stands, and this advice piece covers it.

watch and read about her here

Google Glass is Getting Porny

In what could possibly be the best thing ever to happen to the uber-wtf device, MiKandi will unleash two apps for Google Glass, hopefully this week. We have absolutely no idea what they are, but considering that MiKandi is the number one company for porn-related apps, this should be…interesting.

Pretty Picture of the Day: Because I like things that look pretty, and trash isn’t supposed to be pretty, this photo set that Barry Rosenthal did for whatever reason is really intricate and beautiful. And I want to share it with you. Maybe it will open your eyes to a dumpster that you park next to, or something…

Now this I’m surprised by. Have the Kardashians honestly never been porn parodied before? Adult star Kiara Mia is debuting her directing skills in a movie that’s based on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. And it’s called Keeping Up With Kiara Mia. Seriously though, has this never been done before?

As if I don’t post enough about Game of Thrones, Buzzfeed put up a wonderful “33 Things You Never Knew About the Women of Game of Thrones”. Yes. Now to go to Vine to immediately start following Arya and Sansa.

NSFW time: Samantha Bentley has a vine, and sometimes it’s innocent, sometimes it’s not. Like this one, where she shows you what she has in her bed. Spoiler Alert it’s BOOBS.

Do We Agree? If I Read The Great Gatsby I’m ‘DTF’

Well this is right down our runway: Apparently women en masse are more likely to git it on if we read the right books. Though apparently women en masse only buy these books while traveling. *Head-to-wall-slam*.

 

Coming to us via dating website MissTravel.com, they polled 47,320 female members, and asked questions about reading preferences, travel and relationships. From there, they matched what type of book you’re reading to what your odds are for hooking up. Hmmm okay, so with this apparently we are being blessed with “The Summer Reading Guide for Single Men” – the compilation of all the odds and how men can use it to their advantage. Now I can’t judge them for trying, they have a lot of info here and need something to do with it, but I can’t wait to get to the airport next month and watch as the boys creepily start making words with women like, “so what are you reading there, hmm?”

My favorite odds have to be those directed at Game of Thrones readers (I’m a nail biter waiting for book seven, myself). Down with A Song of Ice and Fire? Well then, this means you’re the ready and willing type, but you come with strings attached and therefore warrant sleepability odds of 3:1. Oh yeah, pffft that’s totally me.

You can read more examples over at Jezebel, but when you’re done, I want to know your stance on this and please enlighten me on where the graphic novel readers stack up?!