Porno Prom Date and Slutty Music – Link Love Is Here!

Happy Humpday!  Welcome back to the midweek stretch!  It’s already been a busy one around here at HM4Her as us porno bloggers get ready to hit California for The Dinah 2012.  This time next week we will be flying into Palm Springs, ready to hand out free porno!  But for now, we smut peddlers are ready for a celebration – humpday style!  So sit back, enjoy the warm weather, and let’s get our Link Love on!… More

Fleshlight Freaks – Cyborg

I could actually see the cock of an actual Cyborg looking like this Fleshlight Freaks dildo.  It is super ridge-y and covered in robot textures.  For some reason it reminds me of the hallways on the Death Star.  You know, the white hallways that the Storm Troopers walk down in Star Wars?  Did I get too nerdy on you?  What I’m getting at is that masturbating with the Cyborg dildo is probably pretty similar to doin’ it to the 6 million dollar man or Optimus Prime.  How about now (in regard to the nerdiness)?… More

Fleshlight Freaks – The Zombie

When it comes to Fleshlight’s Freaks line, some of the cocks are clearly more appropriate to talk about around Halloween.  I mean, Drac and Frankenstein might feel amazing all year long, but it just makes sense to write about them when everyone is feeling extra spooky.

For the others, like Cyborg and Alien, there is no specific time of year that they fit the bill so perfectly, though Alien does have context within a certain movie (they may not mention it, but c’mon, with the color of the dick and the images associated, the dildo may as well as have “Avatar” emblazoned on the balls).  Today’s review is about a cock that perfect to talk about year round, as well as particularly timely due to a pop culture trend of loving/fearing the reanimated dead.  Oh yeah, I’m talkin’ about Zombie!… More

Stocking Stuffers 1 – Jingle Balls

I love stocking stuffers.  Candy, socks, candles, hand cream, chocolate oranges, Starbucks gift cards, mini flashlights, etc.  Unfortunately, this movie isn’t about actual stocking stuffers. Fortunately, I’m pretty sure that “stockings” is code for “buttholes” and “stuffers” is code for “penises”.  Perhaps I’m taking the title a tad on the literal side, but per usual, I do what I want.… More

Fleshlight Freaks – The Alien

We are back with another freak from the Fleshlight Freaks line of quality silicone cocks!  This time we are here with Alien, a beautiful blue dildo that is… out of this world.  Ok, sorry, I had to.  While we wanted to feature Frankenstein and Drac in time for Halloween, this dick is little less ‘monster’ and more extraterrestrial, so figured it would be great to talk about, and use, whenever (though Frank and Drac are perfect for anytime insertion as well!).… More

Elk Orgy and Starbucks Stroker – Link Love is Here!

Happy Humpday!  Welcome to the midweek stretch.  Now that all the Halloween hoopla is over and done, we are firmly in November!  Is it just me, or is that craziness?  This year is just flying by.  And of course there have been Christmas decorations up in stores for the last few weeks.  Weird.  Anyway, so yes, today is the first Humpday celebration of November and I am excited to get my celebrating on with you pervs, so let’s get to it


- A Swedish man was in for a surprise when he went out on his balcony one morning to find a trio of elk having a threesome in his backyard.  When nature calls, huh?… More

Fleshlight Freaks – Frankenstein

I am beginning to think that themed dildos are my favorite sex toys.  That goes double for monster-themed dildos, and obviously I was in some serious heaven when a package from the good folks at Fleshlight landed on our stoop, packed to the gills with an amazing assortment of Freak cocks.  Included in that magical box was the biggest and most grotesque of them all… Frankenstein.… More

Fleshlight Freaks – Drac

Drac can do me any time.

This dildo from the new line of Fleshlight Freaks is more than just a pretty red cock.  It is a solid well crafted dildo that feels nice and heavy in your hands.  It is made from 100% body safe silicone for an irritation free experience.  Fleshlight makes the number one selling toy for men, so I was definitely eager to see how they fared in the ways for the man made wang.  Coming in at 6.75 inches long including the balls, 5.75 inches not including the balls and 5.5 inches around, I found Drac to be just my size – not too long, but with a slightly larger than average girth.… More

Link Love

Happy Humpday!  Welcome to the mid-week stretch, where we try to make that long leap to the weekend a little easier to manage.  It’s starting to get cold here in Philly, where we are based, and the days are getting shorter and shorter, so in response to that, I decided to make this week’s Humpday celebration just a little bit longer to balance the world out just that much more.  On that note, we’ve got a lot of post before us, so let’s get to it!… More

Vampire Mania!

Just when I thought that there wasn’t another possible way to integrate vamp culture into society, I stumble upon Fleshlight’s latest offering – the Succu Dry!

I know JD highlighted Tantus’ Vamp Dildo a while back, but I’m sure many of you were left wondering, “what about the goth tops?” Not everyone wants to get drilled by a creature of the night – some of us would rather feed our meat to a fanged femme fatale!  Well, worry no more my friends.… More