I could actually see the cock of an actual Cyborg looking like this Fleshlight Freaks dildo. It is super ridge-y and covered in robot textures. For some reason it reminds me of the hallways on the Death Star. You know, the white hallways that the Storm Troopers walk down in Star Wars? Did I get too nerdy on you? What I’m getting at is that masturbating with the Cyborg dildo is probably pretty similar to doin’ it to the 6 million dollar man or Optimus Prime. How about now (in regard to the nerdiness)?
I’m not quite sure how to segway how out of that, so I’m just going to make this a really abrupt transition. The Cyborg is made from 100% awesomely body safe silicone. It has a total length of 7.5 inches, an insertable length of 6 inches with a circumference of 5.5 inches. It isn’t overwhelming, but it has a nice girth, which I prefer.
CyBee (my nickname for it) is all about texture. It is ridge, bump and crevice city! I warmed up a little bit, but at first I found it to be uncomfortable. All of the features are really pronounced and are absolutely apparent. Once applied A LOT of lube things got fun. I probably would have achieved the same affect had I warmed up a bit more, but I was excited. Can you blame me? I’m not generally into full on thrusting when it comes to dildos. Instead I go with something girthy that serves as a filler – heh – or something with a g-spot curve, but it would be a sin NOT to thrust this robo-cock. It creates sort of a ripple affect which is pretty awesome and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. The pointed tip isn’t ideal for more aggressive thrusting, but the texture made up for it by allowing for spine melting vaginal wall stimulation during slow in and out motions. Neat!
Fleshlight really did a bang up job of creating interesting fun dildos that have totally unique textures. I loved my Drac, but Cyborg definitely represented. You can tell the designs were thought. I love that they serve as items to look at, but follow through with function. Too often it is one or the other, but not with the Freaks!
When it comes to Fleshlight’s Freaks line, some of the cocks are clearly more appropriate to talk about around Halloween. I mean, Drac and Frankenstein might feel amazing all year long, but it just makes sense to write about them when everyone is feeling extra spooky.
For the others, like Cyborg and Alien, there is no specific time of year that they fit the bill so perfectly, though Alien does have context within a certain movie (they may not mention it, but c’mon, with the color of the dick and the images associated, the dildo may as well as have “Avatar” emblazoned on the balls). Today’s review is about a cock that perfect to talk about year round, as well as particularly timely due to a pop culture trend of loving/fearing the reanimated dead. Oh yeah, I’m talkin’ about Zombie!
Whether you are ready for the zombie apocalypse or not, it’s here, and it’s looking for braaaaiiiins… you know, to fuck them out. Along with the rest of the Fleshlight Freaks dildos, Zombie is an amazingly detailed silicone cock that doubles as quite the conversation piece. Seriously, I don’t know how anyone hides these fancy dicks away!
Anyway, being silicone means that Zombie may look like it’s about to tear into pieces (like undead flesh does), but in fact, it is super sturdy and won’t wither unless the silicone is nicked (as in bitten by a renegade brain muncher) or it’s paired with silicone lube (the silicones melt each other). This undead dick should pretty much last you most of your lifetime otherwise. Plus, it’s hypoallergenic, body safe and non-porous, which means that it’s sterilizable and can be shared with others.
The rotten flesh adorning the Zombie’s 6.5” shaft and head (8” total, including balls) may be nice to look at, but that’s not its only job – it also works as internally stimulating rims and ridges that feel amazing when you thrust in and out. How fitting that what makes it especially undead is exactly what makes it come alive in your vag, butt, or wherever else you are playing with the awakened dead. And with a 5.75” circumference, this corpse-y fellow will fill you up nicely without causing you to feel stuffed in a bad way. I will admit that the grayish color is pretty gross, but we are talking about an undead zombie cock here, so really, it’s absolutely perfect.
All in all, another deliciously disgusting win from Fleshlight.
I love stocking stuffers. Candy, socks, candles, hand cream, chocolate oranges, Starbucks gift cards, mini flashlights, etc. Unfortunately, this movie isn’t about actual stocking stuffers. Fortunately, I’m pretty sure that “stockings” is code for “buttholes” and “stuffers” is code for “penises”. Perhaps I’m taking the title a tad on the literal side, but per usual, I do what I want.
I loved the opening of this movie. The first glimpse is of a lovely toned dude jerking off with a Fleshlight Ice. In case you didn’t know this about me, I’m a total fan of watching people masturbate. It isn’t terribly common to get to see dudes using masturbators in porn, so I get super excited when it happens. I was really enjoying this one because this particular Fleshlight is clear so you can see his penis through the masturbator while he wanks. Neat! Anywho, this only goes on for so long until he is joined by an equally muscular stud muffin that slides right in and takes the place of the handy dandy jerk off tube. They get their merry butt fucking Christmas on. It is hot, but I have one question: why does the banger give the bang-e the middle finger?
The movie goes on and each scene gets hotter and naughtier with more toned clean cut boys that love to get dirty. I totally love that each scene includes some sort of Christmas something-or-other in sme capacity. A lot of movies throw in the word “Christmas” just to get you excited about watching a festive porno, only to leave you disappointed and like your stocking was filled with lumps of coal. I hate box covers that lie! That isn’t the case here! This is one big man on man Yule log filled smut party. If you’re looking for a porno that will both get you off and get you in the mood for egg nog, this is it!
We are back with another freak from the Fleshlight Freaks line of quality silicone cocks! This time we are here with Alien, a beautiful blue dildo that is… out of this world. Ok, sorry, I had to. While we wanted to feature Frankenstein and Drac in time for Halloween, this dick is little less ‘monster’ and more extraterrestrial, so figured it would be great to talk about, and use, whenever (though Frank and Drac are perfect for anytime insertion as well!).
Blue, like the Avatar aliens (or Navi), the Alien is 7.5” from base to tip, including the balls, with 5.5” insertable length. Circumference-wise it’s 5.5” as well, but in a shape that definitely sets it apart of other dildos I’ve encountered. Not only is the Alien way more oval than round, it actually seems almost like two thin dicks have fused together side-by-side and are making up one super thick cock. Or like one giant cock was flattened down a little and made more oval. Either way, it’s one thick, blue dick! And that’s not even the kicker!
The thing that got me the most about this dick is the curve on it. Molded in an arch that points downward, this dildo is definitely different than any I’ve ever seen. It’s like they took a toy that stimulates the G-spot and turned it upside-down. It doesn’t hurt or feel bad in my vag, but it’s totally a different angle than I am used to and felt a little strange to me. Sure, we could turn it around and it would be great for G-spot action, but we haven’t tried that yet.
I’d say if you are looking for something that might feel unique in your vag, or butt, the Alien might just do the trick.
Just like the rest of its FREAK family, the Alien is not only amazingly beautiful, it’s also made of platinum cured silicone and is super body safe and nearly indestructible (just don’t let the dog gnaw at it, or use silicone lube with it unless you have a condom on it). The pearly blue color and the attention to each detail and bump make this a truly awesome toy to have, both on your shelf and in your pussy. Another score from Fleshlight.
Happy Humpday! Welcome to the midweek stretch. Now that all the Halloween hoopla is over and done, we are firmly in November! Is it just me, or is that craziness? This year is just flying by. And of course there have been Christmas decorations up in stores for the last few weeks. Weird. Anyway, so yes, today is the first Humpday celebration of November and I am excited to get my celebrating on with you pervs, so let’s get to it
- A Swedish man was in for a surprise when he went out on his balcony one morning to find a trio of elk having a threesome in his backyard. When nature calls, huh?
- I guess everybody needs a goal. For one New York man, that goal is jerking off in every single Starbucks in NYC. Seriously. That’s nearly 300 individual Starbucks… and wank sessions! The guy, known as Mister PeePee on twitter, also rates each Bucks on masturbation environment. Oh, New York. (via The Frisky)
I am beginning to think that themed dildos are my favorite sex toys. That goes double for monster-themed dildos, and obviously I was in some serious heaven when a package from the good folks at Fleshlight landed on our stoop, packed to the gills with an amazing assortment of Freak cocks. Included in that magical box was the biggest and most grotesque of them all… Frankenstein. And because I am a greedy little size queen, I lunged for Frank and used him to beat off all of the other reviewers.
Measuring in at a whopping 10.5 inches (8.75” insertable), this ghastly green monster dick is the epitome of everything I would want in Frankenstein’s cock. First, it is all stitched together looking and features two bolts coming out of the sides. There are even a few screw heads molded in to make it look extra pieced together. And even though it is all thrown together looking (like Frankenstein himself), it still looks very much like a cock, with a defined glans, shaft and big balls. All in all, this thing is seriously beautiful, and I plan to keep it out on a shelf to admire. You know, when it’s not stuffed inside me, or my loved ones.
And when I say stuffed, I mean STUFFED. This big guy is huge. Long, yes, but also fairly girthy (shaft is 6.75”!!), so Frank fills you up! I certainly couldn’t take it more than halfway into my vag, even fully aroused – and I can usually take a good amount. I will say that I love the way the staple sutures and other decorative touches did a second duty of stimulating the walls of my pussy. Nice work with the functional touches, Fleshlight.
Logistically speaking, this toy is fantastic. Frank is made of the highest quality, platinum cured silicone, which means it is super body safe, sturdy and easy to both clean and sterilize (which means you can share this giant fucker with friends!). You just don’t want to use silicone lube with him, since it will melt his silicone and turn the whole thing into the bad mind of vileness.
Be it Halloween or any other time of year, Frankenstein most definitely has a place in my heart and my pussy. Thanks for giving us something exciting, new and wholly disgusting, Fleshlight!
This dildo from the new line of Fleshlight Freaks is more than just a pretty red cock. It is a solid well crafted dildo that feels nice and heavy in your hands. It is made from 100% body safe silicone for an irritation free experience. Fleshlight makes the number one selling toy for men, so I was definitely eager to see how they fared in the ways for the man made wang. Coming in at 6.75 inches long including the balls, 5.75 inches not including the balls and 5.5 inches around, I found Drac to be just my size – not too long, but with a slightly larger than average girth.
See those tiny little bumps and those carved out “wings”? Yeah, they feel awesome. The combo of the two makes for some great sensations. When lubed up it felt a bit reptilian. I can’t say that I’ve ever experienced anything quite like it before. I usually find textures to be overrated, as I often don’t think they make much of a difference. That was not the case here!
Cleaning was easy. I thought it would be difficult to get the lube and the what-have-you’s out of the crevices, but they weren’t that deep. I gave it a good wipe down with my 10% bleach solution and all was well.
I love Drac. It looks great just sitting around and it definitely lives up to its good looks during actual use. The girth is perfect, the texture is unique and it is totally body friendly. It’s harness compatible! I’m happy to report that Fleshlight isn’t a one trick pony. This dildo is off the chain!
Get sucked into Drac yourself!
Happy Humpday! Welcome to the mid-week stretch, where we try to make that long leap to the weekend a little easier to manage. It’s starting to get cold here in Philly, where we are based, and the days are getting shorter and shorter, so in response to that, I decided to make this week’s Humpday celebration just a little bit longer to balance the world out just that much more. On that note, we’ve got a lot of post before us, so let’s get to it!
Just when I thought that there wasn’t another possible way to integrate vamp culture into society, I stumble upon Fleshlight’s latest offering – the Succu Dry!
I know JD highlighted Tantus’ Vamp Dildo a while back, but I’m sure many of you were left wondering, “what about the goth tops?” Not everyone wants to get drilled by a creature of the night – some of us would rather feed our meat to a fanged femme fatale! Well, worry no more my friends.
Succu Dry’s unique Vampire mouth opening isn’t for the faint of heart. This exclusive Undead pale sleeve color is made from the same patented Real Feel Super Skin material that’s made Fleshlight the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. The amazingly detailed vampire mouth and fangs beg you to drive your wooden stake deep inside.
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