Tag Archives: Dana DeArmond

The Authentic Lesbian Review: Porn Stars Are Athletes Too

In the early 2000s, or what I like to refer to as the Bring It On era, I found myself engaged in a debate over whether cheerleaders were athletes or not. Before then I had never given much thought to questioning if they were or weren’t, I thought it was obvious they were, and now I’m faced with the same question in regards to porn stars. With all the madness that comes along with March and our annual PornTourn competition, we decided to attack the question head on.

What Is an Athlete?

Webster defines the word athlete as “a person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina.” The key words in that definition are “trained” and “skilled.” Anyone can go out and shoot hoops, but the training and skill levels are what separate athletes from everybody else.  This is where I think we forget about porn stars. On any given night, you can see a video clip of Stephen Curry or James Harden working on their handles in a gym for hours. Turn on NFL Network and you’ll get a glimpse of the next big college prospect bench pressing two times their body weight and talking about the off-field work that we viewers rarely get to see. What we aren’t privy to is all the work porn stars put in behind the scene. Think about it, we never get to see Prince Yahshua’s push up routine before flipping chicks over with his dick still inside, or watch the beautifully buff women of Iron Belles during a regular gym workout that doesn’t involve face smothering some skinny chump (I say that with all the love in my heart). Some might argue that with porn stars nobody wants to witness the unsexy hard work that they put into their bodies, but I live for behind the scenes footage so that reasoning doesn’t work. Others might admit to a similarity here or there but deny that porn stars are on the same athletic level as semi-pro and pro athletes. I’d argue they’re wrong.

High Level Consistency

Nobody wants to be the guy that only wins the championship once. That’s like only serving one term as President. I mean, yay, accomplishment, but winning and being great is about consistency and what goes into maintaining it. You can’t mention the word consistent in porn circles without then mentioning Nina Hartley. Look at that figure! You don’t get a body like that just having great sex, although I’m sure it helps. But diet and routine (along with genetics) get the credit per Nina, and that alone is more than some of us can handle. Trying not to eat bacon three times a day is struggle enough for me. But believe it or not, Nina Hartley isn’t the type to hit the gym regularly for vigorous cardio and she isn’t the only one. In a recent interview with Misty Stone I learned she doesn’t go out of her way to maintain her beautiful figure either. A balanced diet, amazing hygiene before and after shoots, and a little luck gets the credit per Misty.

Just like in sports, the same routine, or lack of one, can’t be applied across the board to obtain success. Because something works for one doesn’t mean it will work for others, and what comes easy for some won’t come easy for others. Tasha Reign gave OC Weekly the inside scoop on her pre-porn rituals and after letting the guys know it’s not as sexy as the fantasy she ultimately produces, she goes straight into how she cares for her body. It’s no secret that sex is one of the best (and usually free) workouts around, but some of the positions porn stars put themselves into goes way above what us amateurs try nightly. To keep up with the demand, Tasha keeps a group Pilates or yoga class on her schedule, maintains a vegetarian diet, and makes sure to get at least eight hours of sleep at night (sounds like the Tom Brady way of life). In 2010 Asa Akira admitted to Cosmopolitan that if she could, she’d work out every day of the week, but since scheduling would never allow that, she settles for a few days a week of boot camp training (which is insanely intense!) supplemented with yoga, and lots of dressing-free salads. Similarly, Jesse Andrews participates in boot camp training and hiking while throwing in fun physical activities like bowling and dodgeball and keeping a healthy diet free of bread, milk, and my personal favorite, McDonald’s. She juices a lot, and tries to eat kale at least once a day all in the name of adult entertainment. I thought I was doing something by making everything in my Starbucks order “skinny,” but these stars blow me out of the water.

I noticed that almost every performer I came across participated in some form of a physical stretching exercise like Pilates, yoga, or tai chi. When I was little my father put me in ballet classes, which was torture because I was not a girly girl and hated everything pink. When I begged and cried for him to take me out he explained his reasoning. Ballet would provide a foundation of footwork that I could take and build from to further better my overall basketball game. Once I heard and understood that, you couldn’t get me to skip a ballet class. I wanted to be the greatest basketball player to ever play for Pat Summit down in Tennessee and if ballet was going to help get me there I’d sleep in my tutu (ballet, you totally dropped the ball here). Because of the rigorous activity porn stars’ bodies must go through daily I think the boot camp, yoga, and Pilates become extremely important and necessary for some. Think about the positions they put themselves into and it’ll all make sense.

While Dana DeArmond doesn’t have to do much to keep herself looking fit, she did admit that foot worship scenes are very close to a core workout for her because while giving a footjob you must keep your middle balanced while stroking with your legs. Chanel Preston, who stays away from too much cardio for fear of being too skinny, talks about how much of a workout wearing a strap-on is, and I for one appreciate the hell out of that. Pelvic thrusting is one of my absolute favorite things to do, but squatting is one of my least favorite things to do, and fucking a chick with a strap is nothing if not squat class 101 (102 for us overachievers). And just about every female porn star ever asked about working out talked about posing, modeling, and lugging around a lot of shit, which got my wheels spinning…

Porn stars, like cheerleaders and gymnasts fall into the category of having to look good while putting their athleticism on display. The most I worried about when it came to appearance was if my sneakers and head band matched, and I bet Sam Cassell and Tyrone Hill can say the same thing. Appearing attractive while performing isn’t something many athletes have to think about. Adult performers, however, have it at the top of their morning list and are responsible for bringing their own wardrobe to set, which can consist of everything from 3 different outfits and 2 pair of heels to match, to that plus a suitcase filled with whips, chains, and a strap-on, which are heavier than they look. In pro sports, you don’t have to bring your own equipment and in college sports a lot of that is taken away, especially for stars. You’ll never see coach K showing up to a tourney game with a bag of balls for shoot around just like you’ll never see Usain Bolt cleaning up the track after a hard rain. Porn stars are expected to travel with most of their own shit though (if you’ve ever traveled with a woman you know the horror this could be), twist and conform their bodies into positions we’re too scared to do more than fantasize about, appear attractive to a wide audience, and look like they’re enjoying it. Imagine that was in the work contract you signed! I would be screwed. Sure Tina Thompson, the 1st overall pick in WNBA history, took it upon herself to wear red MAC Diva lipstick during every game, but that was more about luck and later in her career making a statement about women who play professional sports. For porn stars, something as simple as red lipstick, and looking good wearing it while sucking dick, is often a job requirement, and after viewing a million photos of yourself naked, keeping a positive body image and attitude can’t be the easiest thing in the world.

Siouxsie Q, who performs in a lot of hardcore BDSM titles, wrote an article for SF Weekly this year in which she talks about getting back into the adult industry and preparing for a shoot with everyone’s favorite queer, Andre Shakti. “Although I’ve missed getting paid to have sex with hot people, the epic hair and makeup, and the silly costumes and dialogue, the main thing I’ve missed about the adult film is the athletic lifestyle. When I was performing full time, I devoted much of my week to yoga, weight training, cardio, and a strict diet, but now that my life is more about policy papers and political action committees, there’s not much time for crafting my porn star bod. To get ready to be naked in front of the camera again, I’ve had to convince myself that I’m living in a training sequence from an inspirational sports movie from the 80s. This involves a great deal of hard-boiled eggs and running around my neighborhood at 7 a.m. in a waist-training corset. It’s not easy or glamorous, but neither is being a porn star.” Can you imagine that shit!? Siouxsie was only out of the game for about a year, and even though she’s heavy into BDSM, 7am runs in a waist corset!? That’s serious dedication right there, but I think my favorite part is that she actually missed the athletic lifestyle. The game is won in practice and conditioning, and athletes expected to perform with high consistency know this. Porn stars are no exception and Siouxsie Q’s example of commitment to preparation illustrates this perfectly. Not only is working out and eating healthy a constant, but upkeep like shaving, makeup, and all that jazz have to be top priorities too. With all the work adult entertainers put into their craft they deserve to be paid and acknowledged for it. This brings me to my next point…

NCXXX

For the most part professional athletes are paid very handsomely for their talents and the work that goes into them. Hell, some are paid way too much (Brock Osweiler, Kwame Brown, Andy Dalton) just because of the promise that they might be great, but when it comes to porn stars, they get the NCAA treatment regardless if they’re pro , semi-pro, or amateur playing in the d-league. The only thing missing is the outward appreciation college athletes get. Look at Rico Strong up there. He wasn’t born with those muscles, and even the fellas have to take a little time to appreciate the physique. Nobody wants to watch Fat Bastard (or Mike Myers for that matter) bang anything, no matter how hot she is, but do you think any of that turned into dollar signs for Rico? Despite all that bad ass ink I’m going to bet that answer is no, and that’s a shame. Male porn stars are pretty much only there to provide the dick in straight flicks, and on the surface that’s all they’re really good for. But there’s a lot that goes into the upkeep of that dick and the body it’s attached to.

Take the beloved Johnny Sins for example. To start his daily routine, Johnny stretches with a few kick backs and pushups before attacking those abs we all know and love with 12 reps of dead lifts, 24 reps of bicycles, and 12 reps of squat jump tuck. In fact, his routine and physique gained so much recognition that he started instructing in and selling workout videos (seriously, look at his YouTube page). And that’s on top of his whole grain diet in which he stays away from microwaves and eats every two to three hours to keep his metabolism going. That seems like a lot for someone who is essentially a prop on set who just needs to keep it hard for hours and then cum when he’s told. You’d think there would at least be some type of handshake or pat on the back when it’s all said and done since this is the guy who banged the hot babe while lifting her over his head, which just happens to be your favorite position to fantasize about and makes you cum every single time, but nope! The dude is responsible for maintaining a certain look, keeping his junk up for an insane amount of time (diet plays a factor here), busting a nut on cue, lifting chicks with big asses and even bigger titties (weight lifting, ugh), and nobody buys his jersey or shakes his hand. Plus his check is smaller than his female co-stars every single time, and if you’re a minority it’s even less! If it wasn’t for the sex I don’t think guys would even show up, and I can’t blame them.

Speaking of all the sex that makes it so worth it, James Deen talked to GQ back in 2013 and shed light on just how much of a workout it is. “In the film world, people don’t realize you’re not just having sex. Sex on camera can be anywhere from 20 minutes to four hours. It all depends on the production and type of scene. It’s also not just standard sex like, ‘let’s just make each other’s bodies feel good,’ its physical entertainment style sex.” That doesn’t sound as great as it looks especially the stop and go of it all, and it really makes you think about how much work goes in to sex for entertainment. The performer is responsible for making sure we have a good time, and while it falls on everyone in the scene, men in straight movies bear that burden, although they often go unappreciated (straight women who enjoy porn feel this pain too). I can’t imagine someone stopping me in the middle of a good time with Kira Noir to pose for the camera and after it’s all said and done I don’t even get a “great job Authentic Lezz!” I understand that these guys get to fuck some of the hottest, freakiest, downright irresistible women walking the face of the earth (at least that’s what we think), but employee recognition goes a long way and it’s not like the guys aren’t working hard for it. The way Ryan Madison fucks is nothing less than exhausting and to think he’s stopping and changing angles and actually working in the middle of it all literally is enough to blow my mind. That man puts the energizer bunny to shame!

A Means to an End

Athletics of any kind are encouraged in today’s society more than ever before. Not only does being athletic promote a healthy lifestyle, but team activities teach us how to depend on each other, work together, overcome adversity, and succeed as a unit. It helps in the workplace and in one’s social life, but today being athletic and playing a sport has taken on a new and bigger role. That shit pays for college! Higher education has become big business that most of us can’t afford, but we’re constantly told we need it (similar to what’s going on with home buying in today’s economy, but I digress). That piece of paper opens up a world of opportunities and if you can sing, dance, run, jump, or anything else that people are willing to pay to watch you do to get it then by all means GO… unless it’s porn. Enter Belle Knox. Intelligent enough to get accepted into Duke University, Knox began her adult actress career in 2013 to help pay for her $60,000/year tuition. Pornography allowed her to control her schedule so she wouldn’t miss classes but still make enough money to survive, a constant struggle for working college students, while ensuring she wouldn’t be trapped in debt upon graduation. On top of that she entered a profession where she could travel, meet and learn from all types of diverse people, explore her sexuality and body image, something all young women go through, and be subjected to medical testing to ensure her safety, something us non-porn star college kids didn’t do enough. What parent wouldn’t be proud of her as a daughter!?

Despite what, when laid out, many would consider major accomplishments and smart thinking on her part, Belle Knox faced a lot of criticism because of her career choice. Besides being ousted and harassed by the frat boys watching porn in the first place, she lost respect from some of her professors and peers, and had to explain her lifestyle and job to staff. Apparently providing adult entertainment to the masses is not an acceptable way to make a living, although watching it bears no ill judgments from society (that double standard kills me!). Sit back and imagine if the dean of your kid’s school called them into a meeting to explain why they work one place instead of another and then made judgments based on that one thing. I’m telling you now, I’d be happily in prison watching graduation on Twitter Live using a burner phone somebody snuck me because that dean’s face would no longer look the way God intended. For the life of me I will never understand many of the ridiculous stereotypes that follow sex workers, but the one that really grinds my gears is that somehow your preppy snot nosed kid is being negatively influenced or put in danger. Countless porn stars have studied at and walked college campuses before, during, and after their career, and not one of them (to my researched knowledge) has ever harmed anyone. In fact, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to have Brandi Love (Central Michigan), Bree Olsen (Indiana Purdue), Carter Cruise (East Carolina University), Lexington Steele (Syracuse), Stoya (Delaware College of Art & Design), and Joanna Angel (Rutgers) on campus. The experience they have across the board, life lessons they can share, and the immense success they’ve all enjoyed are priceless to anyone they stop and talk to.

It’s time we recognize adult entertainers as professional athletes and give them the credit they deserve. Hopefully you pay for porn, and that’s great because they worked hard to provide you with a quality product you can jizz all over, but it goes beyond that. The way we view and think about porn stars on a day-to-day basis needs to escalate to a level where we begin to consider workouts, diet, make-up, wardrobe, and the expectations we place on them that we wouldn’t be able to meet ourselves, because it really is a lifestyle that they must adhere to on and off camera. It’s bad enough there’s no union, health care, or HR departments stars can rally around on the same level as us office dwellers, so the least we can do is acknowledge everything that they do to make themselves great and us horny.

That’s all for now, but for more from the great mind of the Authentic Lesbian, follow me on Twitter @authenticlezz1 and remember, sex is positive, sex is your friend, and sex can pay the bills!

The Authentic Lesbian Review: The Marine

the-marine-coverThe Marine is the first movie HotMoviesforHer has gotten from director Steve Jones and Elite X Films, and it is a hell of a way to start a relationship. The story focuses on an ex-Marine, Chris, played by Chad White, who finds himself in the middle of a rather bizarre lust/potential love triangle with way more than your average complications. Jessica, played by Tasha Reign, is a freaky, fun, horny woman who you definitely want to share the bedroom with (more than once), but probably don’t take home to meet the family, while Sarah, Daisy Haze’s character, seems more reserved and laid back, someone you can settle down with. All of that is about to change though as Chris finds himself in the middle of some bullshit he couldn’t have possibly seen coming. This action packed porno has a lot of dialogue and story setup between sex, but the development of the story along with the production quality and overall good acting kept me invested in the story even between the sex.

 

Scene 1 – Chad White & Tasha Reign & Dana DeArmond

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While working out at the gym, Chris gets a text from fuck buddy with even more benefits, Jessica, suggesting that if he came over she would make it worth the trip. Chris smirks, obviously knowing what she wants, and politely declines, which completely baffles me. Cut to Sarah’s apartment where she showering (wish they would have included a solo scene right here) and getting ready for her day. Suddenly she gets a phone call from some shady dude talking about “Don’t be late, this guy is a high paying customer,” and I’m instantly like “Is she a tute!?” Then he says, “Don’t be a bitch this time,” and I know not only is she a prostitute, but she isn’t particularly happy with her career at the moment.

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Now it becomes evident why Chris blew Jessica of earlier. He takes Sarah out on a date that lasts all day and includes grabbing a bite to eat, traveling around the city hand in hand, and stopping for make out sessions. They seem to be having a great time in each other’s company, and even though it’s been a while before I’ve seen a titty or some ass, I’m really into the story and like watching the pair get to know each other. Chad and Daisy do a good job selling the plot to the audience. Most of the time smooth jazz is playing in the forefront so we only see them interacting instead of hearing their conversation, but the long deep stares in the eyes and the slow coming together for soft light kisses pull me in. Both Chris’ and Sarah’s phones are blowing up with neither paying much attention. I have a feeling Sarah’s has to do with the client she’s supposed to be meeting while Chris is getting nudes from Jessica, whose roommate, the gorgeous Dana DeArmond, just joined her in the bedroom.

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Chris drops Sarah off back at her place, and while he’s getting text messages like the one above, Sarah is met by some strong armed dude waiting for her in her crib. He shoves her around a little, making her get dressed for her client before dragging her outside and throwing her into a black truck (that’s never good). Chris sees all this shit go down and I think he’s already made up his mind to go and save the day, but not before getting his dick wet. So he heads over to Jessica’s house for a quick dip in the cookie jar, and even he couldn’t imagine what was there waiting for him.

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As soon as he walks in the door, the girls hurry to pull his clothes off and jump on his dick like two women possessed, and he loves every single minute of it! Dana fucks him first, bounding up and down on his dick cowgirl style while Jessica sits on his face and gets her pussy licked. I found Tasha Reign’s moaning to be forced and a little annoying, but it didn’t take me completely out of the mood. The balance between the three players in this threesome is on point and it made the sex even better! As Chris is fucking Dana missionary right before cumming all over her stomach, they have this eye contact thing going on that drove me crazy! Dana gives a naughty smirk as Chris teases her clit with the tip of his dick and it was like they forgot the cameras were even in the room. I love when chemistry gets captured on film like that and it proved to be that little push that I needed to send me over the edge.

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Scene 2 – Daisy Haze & Nick Manning

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Chris is so pleased with himself that he lights and smokes a cigar as he’s walking out of Jessica’s spot with a grin on his face. It doesn’t last long though as he’s approached by a gang of punks looking to scare him with a warning to leave her (Sarah) alone. Naturally he kicks their asses even disarming them of a gun in the process. After chasing the last of the assailants and taking a knife away from him, Chris learns that Sarah is a prostitute and gets told that some guy named John is going to kill him. Chris demands to know where Sarah was taken and the adventure begins (only after busting a nut though…priorities man, priorities).

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Sarah now finds herself being guiding down a fancy hotel hallway towards who I’m guessing is her high paying client that she’s been warned to treat right. Turns out Carlos, played by Nick Manning, is her client for the evening and after wrapping up a rather aggressive secret text message handling some illegal business with a guy named Juan, he’s ready to get his rocks off and doesn’t appreciate the wait he’s had to endure. He tells Sarah to show him what she’s got and she slowly and seductively begins taking her clothes off. He tells her she looked better in her pictures, but that doesn’t stop him from taking his clothes off, shoving his dick in her mouth, and fucking her face in a blowjob scene even I enjoyed! Daisy seems really into the sex from the very beginning and Nick capitalizes on it by building from her comfortability with him and using it throughout the scene. There’s lots of intense eye contact, hard kissing, titty groping and slapping as Nick puts the old dick down on Daisy!

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I love how Nick stayed in character and brought Carlos to life even more through the sex. He’s a very powerful and overwhelming man with an intimidating power he carries around with him, and it’s not only evident that he’s powerful but also on the wrong side of the law (where’s Officer Cade when you need her!?). During the sex he’s always in control and does what he can to dominate Sarah and make her his submissive, which she submits to happily after a few of those long strokes. Carlos fucks Sarah doggy style with a purpose, and as her moans grow louder and louder I’m pulled deeper and deeper into the action. I can tell Daisy isn’t faking and that enhances the fantasy in my opinion. Carlos continues changing pace and fucking Sarah silly until they both end up looking like this, real shit…

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This is my favorite sex scene of the movie and I’m not afraid to declare that the truth even before getting through the third and final scene. They’re both dripping in sweat from going at it so hard and I’m pretty sure everyone on set needed at least a 15-minute break after all was said and done. Nick managed to fit his famous “dropping loads” phrase in there while teaching the young fellas out there exactly how it’s done. In the scheme of the movie though, this scene left me feeling a little guilty and confused. We already know Sarah doesn’t enjoy her job and didn’t want to be there in the first place, but when it comes down to it we see a woman willing to completely give in to this man’s every desire while submitting to him in the process and loving how it feels. I get it, this is a porno flick, no need to dive unnecessarily deep. But it’s hard to separate the sex from the plot, especially when they do such a good job of incorporating the two into each other.

Scene 3 – Chad White & Daisy Haze

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While Sarah and Carlos are laid out like they just had the best sex of their lives, Chris is confronting Carlos’ kill squad in an attempt to rescue Sarah. Using one of the punks who tried to scare him into staying away from Sarah, he gains entry into the hotel room, kicks more serious ass, shooting a few people in the process, and finally finds his damsel in distress. They run through the hotel hallways to back stairwells until they reach Chris’ car where he questions her career choice. It turns out her mom is dying from cancer and she needs all the money she can get for treatments and therapy. All of a sudden a phone in the jacket Sarah’s wearing starts to ring and it’s Carlos’. Chris tells Carlos to pay Sarah 100k, to which Carlos laughs (I did too…I mean the sex was great but 100k?) and hangs up the phone before instructing the strong arm of his kill squad to find Chris and Sarah and do some not-so-nice things to them.

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Chris takes Sarah to the apartment of the president of the geek squad where they discover, by hacking into Carlos’ security locked phone, that he’s a drug lord with 653 million bucks sitting in an account. Before they can decide what to do with the information, Chris and Sarah are tracked and hunted down by the kill squad and a pretty cool gun fight ensues. The special effects are better than anything I’ve seen in a porno before and I really got wrapped up in the action. Especially when everything comes to a head as Chris and strong arm kill squad leader duke it out on the roof top, no guns, just good ole fist to fist combat! Of course Chris wins and escapes with the girl unharmed.

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We’re now waking up in what I’m guessing is Chris’ house with Sarah placing light kisses on his chest to wake him up. She gives him a blowjob to start things off (breakfast done right) and his dick gets as hard as a rock. They get it in cowgirl first, and I realize I really like watching Daisy get fucked. She’s enthusiastic and brings a lot of energy but still manages to stay a little submissive, fitting with her character, throughout the ordeal. As much as I enjoyed and appreciated that, the sex felt a little boring this time around. Maybe it’s because it follows the wild and crazy sex that she just had with Nick, or maybe it’s because it was a little softer this time around, but whatever the case I thought it could have been better. That being said, it isn’t terrible by any stretch of the imagination. There’s hair pulling during doggy style, which is always a turn on, and you can tell Chad is digging deep from Daisy’s facial expressions during missionary. Her eyes roll back in her head as he cums on her belly, and even if it is a little forced and fake, it still adds a little more intensity to the scene.

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Suddenly Sarah’s phone rings and you hear her say “I didn’t order Chinese food.” Chris picks up on what’s happening right away and hurries Sarah to get dressed because Carlos and his goons have found their hideout. They run down a few steps as the screen fades to black and I’m hoping they’ve already started production on part 2! I’m usually not big on sequels but this story was so good I want to know more. Plus the production quality is way above average for a porno flick and the acting was right up there with it. Action packed sex movies are apparently my thing…who knew! Check out The Marine here on the site and let me know what you think of it in the comments section below. Until next time…

The Authentic Lesbian is a usually jolly woman with a love for reading old newspapers and taking long walks around any body of water. Follow her on Twitter @authenticlezz1 and the gal gang @hotmoviesforher to keep up with the latest movies and news around the biz.

My Black Personal Trainer Review

When you think of getting in shape and working out, it doesn’t sound like you would have a good time. Most people think of the grueling repetitions, the sore muscles, and, if you’re a woman, there’s a possibility that you’re self conscious working out among so many. The outcome of the hard work is great, but it’s not enough to keep a person motivated to work out, right? Zero Tolerance Entertainment may have just found the perfect solution with My Black Personal Trainer.

Dana Dearmond, Lauren Phillips, Lea Lexis, Melissa Moore, and Nadia Styles have the right idea with this one! If I had someone like Isiah Maxwell and Jovan Jordan (just to name a few) over-seeing the well being of my body, I would take advantage of ALL they have to offer too! All of these women start their sessions out stretching, lunging, and doing core workouts before the real cardio workout begins!

Scene One:

Lauren needs Jovan Jordan’s help balancing on a workout ball before he shows her his deep pelvic thrust technique in every position to test her progress and see how tight her core really is.

Scene Two:

Meanwhile, Jon Jon stretches Melissa out just a bit more after watching her lunge in tights. With her amazing rack and tight tush… I can’t say I blame the man!

Scene Three:

Prince Yashua is more than helpful when he pushes Dana to the limits by showing her there’s no pain but only pleasure to gain when he drills her in doggy, missionary, cowgirl, and spoon positions before he gives her a protein shake that’s one of a kind.

Scene Four:

You can tell what’s on the sexy Isiah’s mind while he oversees Lea’s warm-up. The rain provides a perfect excuse to take the session indoors so he can show her a new way to stretch those gams, quads, and glutes – on his massive dick (heh, heh, heh).

Scene Five:

Nadia knows she’s sex personified, maybe that’s why instead of working out she performs a strip tease to entice Moe Johnson. These two just get right down to business which kind of threw me off. While there’s no mistake that the action was SIZZLING HOT, the last should’ve featured Mo working Nadia out before he WORKED her out you know? There’s was a sense of puck-like mischief with the fellas during the movie that came to a crashing halt with this couple. I would still overall recommend this movie to anyone who wanted to get worked over while getting worked out.

They say that next to laughter, sex is the best calorie burner, and these ladies and gents burned more than their fair share in this adult feature dedicated to the physical and sexual well-being of others.

Watch My Black Personal Trainer on HMFH now!

Writers Roundup: Porn Stars We Want to Hang Out With

Dana Vespoli
Dana Vespoli

Sometimes we read something about a star, or we see an incredible feat accomplished in a scene, and we just want to give that star a high-five. Maybe that star thinks our hand-slap is so good, that they invite us over for dinner, introduce us to their friends, and feed us lots of cake and delicious sugary treats. Without the risk of sounding fan-girl-star-crazed, we decided which porn stars we would want to hang out with, and the stars we think would be our BFFs. It wasn’t only us women who wanted to talk about this subject. Our buddy from HotMovies, Victor Vaselino, knew we were planning this post and gave a convincing argument as to why he should be able to talk about his porn BFF. Basically, Victor needed a venue to profess his undying love to a great musician we have already written about on HMFH, so we decided it was relevant, and we were happy to have his input on the subject.

Bridget

If I had to pick any porn star to become BFFs with, it’s a no-brainer. I like to hang out with likeminded people with a good sense of humor, and in the porno realm that equates to none other than Dana DeArmond. I need people in my life that are willing to call me out when I do stupid and/or regrettable stuff, and I know I could count on her to do just that. You’d be hard-pressed to find a porn star that does more shit-talking than Ms. DeArmond, and in such clever ways too. Her scene with Tommy Pistol  in ScrewberX  is a perfect example of how she doesn’t put up with anyone’s crap.

Dana DeArmond Tommy Pistol
Dana DeArmond and Tommy Pistol

 

Waka Flaka Dana DeArmond
Waka Flaka , Dana DeArmond, Bridget’s placeholder

I love Dana’s feisty wit, but what makes her an even more attractive partner-in-crime is that this chick doesn’t give a fuck about anything; she uses her legal name as her porn name! She’s just working in the adult industry and owning her lifestyle, and I respect that a lot. Not only is she hilarious and bold, but she’s gorgeous as well. This all-natural Spiegler girl would be a great wing-woman at a party or charismatic arm-candy for a night on the town. I only imagine the wacky antics we would get up to together. I don’t know exactly what she does outside of fucking on camera, but I’m sure it’s in line with my interests of relaxing and watching trashy TV. I could see us watching KUWTK and making fun of Kris Jenner like the gal pals we were always meant to be!

I would’ve been the perfect addition to this assembly of great minds: just me, Dana DeArmond, and Waka Flocka. Maybe next time.

Andi

Jonni Darkko
Jonni Darkko

I’ve written before about Dee Severe and Jimmy Broadway, owners of Severe Sex, and how I really like the way their titles incorporate BDSM into real-life situations with great narratives. I’m also a huge fan of what Bree Mills and StillsbyAlan are doing over at Girlsway. Pretty much everyone I have written about I am a fan of: Michelle Austin, Buck Angel, and Pink and White Productions are a few people that I feel consistently produce interesting and sexy content. I would love to hang out with these people (and I have with a few), but I would really like to chat with Jonni Darkko to see why he chooses to shoot the content he does.

Jizz My Glasses Jonni DarkkoG for Gianna Jonni Darkko

I mean, Jizz My Glasses is a real title. That title is hysterical to me because I would never think that a movie about ejaculating on people’s glasses would be so popular.  Who knew that many people would want to jizz on eyewear? I wrote about the women of Brown Sugar Fuck Dolls a few months ago, and people went bananas. Of course, the women are beautiful and popular stars, but the response to my posts and tweets was overwhelming. People love Jonni Darkko, and while it isn’t the stuff I would watch to get me in the mood, I am fascinated by how well of a show he puts together. I’ve read that he creates the soundtrack to every film himself, and he has released his own tracks on well-known DJ albums. I love the way he filmed Gianna Michaels in G for Gianna.  Gianna is amazing, but the work they did together was really special. I want to know why he shoots the way he does and what his visual influences are. Seriously, this man is having a great time doing what he loves. I can just see me in Ibiza listening to really loud EDM play to a crowd of hundreds, while we talk about jazz and painting, and photography, and I try to stay awake past midnight for his new track to drop. That’s the life.

Dee Viant

Eric Jover
Eric Jover with Moose and Sylvester

There are so many people in porn who I think are fantastic, and I’ve gotten to meet a variety of people whose work I love. With that in mind, I wanted to focus on those I’ve never met in person, although that doesn’t really make this much easier to answer. However, I’d say that due to the ongoing interactions we’ve had on Twitter regarding kink, cats, and general nerdery, this is tossup between Chrissy Daniels (@Chrissy_Daniels ) and Eric Jover (@ballbusting). I’ve been interacting with both Chrissy and Eric since I started working on just FetishMovies 3.5 years ago, and I would love to finally meet them each in person. I have the utmost respect for anyone who builds their own XXX business, especially when they are involved in every facet of that business, including performing. I need to be around highly intelligent people who work hard, and both of my fantasy porn BFFs fall into that group. They are also both hilarious and have solid and apparent senses of humor.

Also, I’m a total sucker for animals, and will horse around on the floor with any pet that will have me. Chrissy and Eric both post photos of their kitty beasts, and I want to snuggle the hell out of them too. I feel like my orange cat Talk Face has a special bond with Chrissy’s orange buddy Hank. Is this getting weird? I think so. Bottom line: Show me titties and kitties if you want to win me over.

Chrissy Daniels
Chrissy Daniels

 

Suggested Titles:

Lesbian Vampire Seductions and The Farce Awakens

Our MILF/The DILF Lover

Let’s see, I love to laugh and get a kick out of laughing at some of the antics these guys pull both in front of and behind the camera. Don’t judge me too harshly because I’m telling my age, but I think if I had to chose somebody to hang with it would be (drum roll, please) Evan Stone. The man is beyond goofy judging by the many hilarious roles he’s played over the years from caveman, to pirate to a pest control technician who was more interested in boffing the client! Even if it was just shadowing him for a day, I would be content because he’s guaranteed to give you a good laugh!

Kelly and Ryan Madison
Kelly and Ryan Madison

I would also love, love, love to hang out with the dynamic duo Kelly and Ryan Madison. Not only are they just so cute as a couple, I love the way they work and play together (which is not something every couple can do). While they’re known for outrageous sexual acts on screen both amidst themselves and tag-teaming other girls…this pair is undeniably in love, they work as an awesome team together and I would love to pick their brains on how to make these aspects work. Plus while I understand that things appear different when the camera is running – it wouldn’t help to get a few pointers on their uninhibited lifestyle!

Judy Hologram

My porn star BFF is already Abella Danger because one time I tweeted something about how all my best friends are size queens and she was like, “I’m not a size queen, can we still be friends?” I tried to play it cool because this was my first time having a porn star friend, and I think I pulled it off. My Abella Danger friend date would involve reliving my youth while vaping and maybe eating a pizza with Carter Cruise  while we talk about how lit and fiery stuff is. Abella could be my wingwoman and try to pull guys for me, but she’s actually way hotter than me, but I’d be so totally ok with that probably.

Abella Danger
Abella Danger

But for real, Abella is mad cool and has a great head on her shoulders and I’d love to talk dicks with her one day.

If I wanted to hang out with a porn star while wearing my comfy clothes, it would have to be Dana Vespoli. I’ve spent approximately 11 hours of my life watching her Real Sex Diary series, so I know that she’s always down with a quiet dinner and wine at home. She’s a big movie buff, which works its way into her pornos, so I’d love to just kick it on the couch with a cheap bottle of wine, some snacks, and a good flick and pick her brain for an evening.

Dana Vespoli and Chanel Preston
Dana Vespoli and Chanel Preston

 

The Authentic Lesbian

Business Of Women

I would love to hang out with Girlsway genius director Bree Mills and voyeur extraordinaire Shine Louise Houston. What I love most about Bree’s features, particularly The Turning, Project Pandora, and The Business of Women, is the social element of women’s rights and sexual desires that serve as the underlying tone. She’s managed to create a world where every woman is a lesbian (I call that paradise), empowered with the ability to attack social standards and stereotypes, while remaining incredibly sexy and often incorporating a dark and twisted sense of humor. After watching one of her titles you feel like you watched a movie with lots of sex in it instead of a porno flick. You walk away with an extreme satisfaction and a few things to think about. Shine Louise Houston’s Pink And White Productions, specifically the CrashPad Series (I know I rave about them often, but with good reason) is more relatable in the sense that you’re watching two real people have real sex. I’m not even sure there’s any directing involved, that’s how authentic it looks and feels. You hear the playful banter between position changes, and watch the not-so-sexy process that is putting on a strap, and it looks like what happens in your bedroom.

CrashPad 89

The coolest part is that the underlying social aspects are there, but instead of being written into a plot and acted out, they come directly from the performers themselves. The series features a lot of gender queer performers and the sex itself takes on the role of the plot, forcing you to think as they perform acts in ways you may not have encountered previously. For example, some stars prefer to leave their clothes on the entire time making you think about how pleasure is attainable outside of physical contact. Others use various toys and fuck like wild rabbits instead of lightly touching and fondling, forcing you to step outside the societal view of what lesbian/queer sex must look like and account for behaviors you may not have otherwise. The fact that these two creative and extremely influential women have found ways to stimulate mind and body simultaneously makes them my ultimate coffee shop hang out crew! Could you imagine picking their brains over something fancy they sell in a San Fran shop, or brainstorming a collaboration project in the French Quarter? Shit, I’d love to just be in their company when a hot girl walks by! The possibilities are limitless…

Victor Vaselino

My BPSFF (Best Porn Star Friend Forever) is undoubtedly Xander Corvus.  I was assigned to write his bio for HotMovies over a year ago, and after learning about the guy, I couldn’t help but love him.  Everything I learned about the guy made me want to hang out with him, from both of us having a biker father, our mutual love for heavy metal, to the fact that we both have performed in metal bands (Xander is the lead singer for L.A. metal band Circle of Violence.). He’s pretty much just like me, except successful.  And gets laid all the time.  And has a big cock.

We’d be such good friends.

Xandar Corvus HotMoviesForHer
Xander Corvus

My ideal bro-date with Xander would be getting a six pack (each, of course), jamming out to some At the Gates or Carcass, playing a show together (With lights!  And pyro! And he could get on my shoulders while I do a guitar solo-it’d be EPIC ADORBZ), and then picking up some girls and taking them back to my parents’ garage.

(There’s no way to NOT make this sound dorky: I’m pretty much describing high school, only with a famous pornstar playing the role of my former best friend.  Maybe I should just give that guy a call, and hope he forgives me for “The Katrina Incident”.)

Sweetheart Video Loves Girls

In 2008, all-girl studio Sweetheart Video began their Loves Girls series with Nina Loves Girls. Directors Nica Noelle, James Avalon, and Dana Vespoli select performers to star is an all-girl showcase, allowing the star to choose which women they want to fuck on camera. This results in some of the best on-camera lesbian chemistry in the business, with months and sometimes years of off-screen flirtations finally getting a chance to blossom into some serious Sapphic fuckery. We’ve picked some of our favorite entries into the series to show why we love that Sweetheart loves girls.

Alexis Texas Loves Girls

Alexis Texas Loves Girls BoxcoverThe latest installment of the Loves Girls series stars big-butt superstar Alexis Texas, who explains that at this stage in her career, she’s very choosy about which projects she takes on. As an industry veteran, she easily seduces her chosen costars (Adriana Chechik, AJ Applegate, Mia Malkova, and Jenna Sativa,) shaking her insane curves and boasting about her legendary cunnilingus skills. A standout scene is with fellow big-booty-blonde AJ Applegate, who dons a strap-on cock and fucks Alexis from behind, getting impressively aggressive with her older counterpart.

 

 

 

Alexis Texas and AJ ApplegateAlexis Texas and Jenna Sativa

Dana DeArmond Loves Girls

Dana DeArmond Loves Girls BoxcoverStylish and snarky Dana DeArmond is known for doing whatever the fuck she wants, and in Dana DeArmond Loves Girls, she does girls. It’s fun to watch the shifts in her attitude towards her costars (Veruca James, Abella Danger, Dahlia Sky, and Chanel Preston, all fellow Spiegler Girls) with each scene. I particularly loved the extended interview with Veruca James, who Dana is clearly smitten with, to the point of actually being a little bit shy and submissive as Veruca seduces her. Her playful bullying of young Abella Danger and fellow veteran Chanel Preston were also a riot to watch.

 

 

 

Dana DeArmond and Veruca James

Dana DeArmond and Chanel Preston

Jessie Loves Girls

­­Jessie Andrews Loves Girls BoxcoverThe angelic Jessie Andrews has grown increasingly elusive in the adult industry in the past year, focusing instead on more mainstream pursuits. Luckily for us, she still occasionally pops up in girl-girl scenes, and we get to see tons of her in Jessie Loves Girls. One thing that stands out about Jessie is that her pretty, sweet exterior belies some serious sexual aggression. She really takes charge of her costars (Dana DeArmond, Carter Cruise, Jodi Taylor, and Bonnie Rotten) and is never intimidated by Dana or Bonnie. Her scenes with Carter and Jodi were particularly sweet; in her interviews, she speaks very affectionately about the newer Spiegler Girls, and is very taken with Jodi’s natural beauty.

 

 

 

Jessie Andrews and Carter Cruise

Jessie Andrews and Jodi Taylor

Dani Loves Girls

Dani Daniels Loves Girls boxcoverThis year’s XBIZ Female Performer of the Year Dani Daniels is famous for her electrifying girl-girl performances, making her an obvious choice for Dani Loves Girls. It’s clear that her chosen costars (Misty Stone, Natasha Nice, Sovereign Syre, and Cherie DeVille,) are absolutely taken by her and her phenomenal oral skills and stunning beauty. The effortlessly cool Misty Stone is absolutely spent after getting wrecked with orgasm after orgasm. Dani is a huge giver; it’s clear that she reeeaaally loves girls and gets off on getting her partners off. She hardly off leaves their pussies alone to take some time to let them fuck her too.

 

 

 


Dani Daniels and Misty Stone

Dani Daniels and Shyla Jennings

Allie Haze Loves Girls

Allie Haze Loves Girls boxcoverAllie Haze is another performer known for her love of girls; in fact, she tells director Dana Vespoli that she got into the industry as a way to successfully and safely hook up with other women. The interviews with girl-girl performer Jayden Cole were fun to watch, as Jayden seems to take an intellectual approach to her career and grills Allie on what it’s like to perform in boy-girl scenes. Allie’s scene with London Keyes is particularly great. Ignoring the fact that they started off wearing stilettos in a shower (danger!!!) it’s lovely to see them fall into each other and make each other cum over and over again.

 

 

 

Allie Haze Loves Girls

Allie Haze and London Keys

Asa Loves Girls

Asa Akira Loves Girls boxcoverSuperstar Asa Akira has since become a Wicked contract girl with a number of showcases to her name, but Asa Loves Girls is a valuable addition to her repertoire. She chose Katsuni and London Keyes, as well as girl-girl performers Jayden Cole and Celeste Star as her costars. There’s a wonderful sensuality and athleticism to Asa’s scenes, and it’s wonderful to see her subtly dominated by Asian Frenchwoman Katsuni. Asa is also known for her wonderfully dry wit (seriously, the zingers on her Twitter feed are gold) and her giggle-fest with London Keyes before they start eating each other’s faces is hilarious.

 

 

 

Asa Akira and Jayden Cole

Asa Akira and Celeste Starr

Sinn Sage Loves Girls

Sinn Sage Loves Girls boxcoverDirector Nica Noelle eschews the extended interviews and high-end gonzo format of later Loves Girls installments in favor of short plot-based vignettes. Sinn Sage Loves Girls is none the worse for it, as viewers get to see even more of the raw power of this girl-girl performer’s incredible lesbian fuckery. Sinn is thicker and butchier than many other girl-girl performers, and she excels at domination, strap-ons, and scissoring. The first scene with the flawless Lily LaBeau is a must see, as Sinn straps on a cock to barge into her messy roommate’s shower and teach her a lesson.

 

 

 

Sinn Sage and Shyla Jennings

Sinn Sage and Annie Cruz

Nina Loves Girls

Nina Hartley Loves GirlsIt’s only appropriate that this series started with Nina Loves Girls, starring the bad-ass OG Fairy Godmother of pornography, Nina Hartley. This one’s heavy on the interviews, as Nina bestows upon us her (at the time) 25 years of extensive knowledge about sex, swinging, pornography, bisexuality, the female orgasm, and anything else you could want to know from the industry’s most legendary veteran. And with a quarter of a century of on-camera fucking, Nina obviously knows how to bring it. Her scenes with her costars (Sinn Sage, Elexis Monroe, Nyomi Banxxx, and Stephanie Swift) are nothing short of powerful. Nina is truly a master of her craft, and that craft is fucking the ladies. This is also the also entry of the Loves Girls series to have a sequel with Nina Loves Girls 2!

 

 

Nina Hartley and Elexis Monroe

Nina Hartley and Naomi Banxxx

You can watch Alexis Texas Loves Girls and the rest of the series on HotMoviesForHer tonight!

Judy Hologram is also a real big sweetheart. You can follow her on Twitter @JudyHologram and the rest of us @HotMoviesForHer.

Top Drawer Sex Toys In Porn

Njoy Eleven

I like porn. I like sex toys. I like sex toys in porn.

But what takes me right out of the moment is seeing porn stars jacking each other off with a nasty jelly dildo, a weak ass vibrator, or a floppy grocery store banana. It’s not sexy or cute. So when I happen upon a porno where the stars and studios have invested in some body safe, non-porous toys made from beautiful materials, I have to squee a little bit. I literally get turned on just reading about or shopping for top drawer sex toys, but seeing them put to good fucking use is enough to turn me into a little puddle of lustiness.

So dear readers, I scoured HotMoviesForHer to find the best scenes featuring some of my favorite top drawer sex toys in porn!

Crash Pad Series Episode 85 – Juliette March

Juliette March uses the Double Trouble sex toy in Crash Pad 85Juliette March (and her beautifully bruised ass!) stars in this solo scene from The Crash Pad. The Hitachi magic wand has been in pornos since dinosaurs roamed the earth, and features prominently here, but Juliette has tons of other goodies to play with. Besides clipping clothes pins to her perky nipples and swollen labia, she also slips an Njoy buttplug into her ass and fucks herself with a gorgeous black Double Trouble (named for director Courtney Trouble) from Fucking Sculptures! [UPDATE: Crash Pad reached out to inform us that Juliette was not actually using a piece from Fucking Sculptures. It was a toy from Juliette’s personal collection, and our best guess is that it is a Spectral from Good Vibrations.]

Crash Pad Series Episode 41 – Dylan Ryan & Jiz Lee

Crash Pad Series Episode 41 - Dylan Ryan & Jiz Lee use the njoy Eleven sex toy togetherNjoy makes another appearance at the Crash Pad in Episode 41. The amazing Jiz Lee pulls the massive Njoy Eleven from its leather purse, and Dylan Ryan gasps at its size (eleven inches!) weight (2.75 pounds!) and girth (two inch diameter at its thickest!!!) Jiz wastes no time putting the big end in Dylan’s pussy, and then gets on the smaller end for some double dil action. Dylan gasps, “This is amazing” over and over again, and I can’t help but believe her.

Dana Vespoli’s Real Sex Diary 3

Dana Vespoli's Real Sex Diary 3Scene four of Dana Vespoli’s Real Sex Diary 3 isn’t my favorite of the movie, but I did perk up a bit when Chanel Preston pulls out her impressive Njoy collection: the Pure Wand and the Eleven. Dana puts the Pure Wand in her ass and enjoys its fullness, and Chanel inserts the large end of the Eleven; they put their legs over their heads and chill with the toys inside of them. It’s not the best use of such great toys, but its always fun to see them pop up!

Fuckstyles Vol. 2: Dirty Fucks

Fuckstyles Vol. 2: Dirty FucksScene 7 stars trans* performers James Darling and Papi Coxxx, each sporting some impressively girthy strap-ons (unfortunately I can’t identify the brands by sights.) Later in the scene, James sucks on the head of the Njoy Eleven and rolls a condom onto it with his mouth. He bends over and offers his holes to Papi, who obligingly fucks him with the smaller, ribbed end, asking him if he prefers shorter or longer strokes. He moans with pleasure, enjoying its unyielding size and shouting fuckword after fuckword.

Lesbian Curves 3: Soft Girls & Strap Ons

Lesbian Curves 3: Soft Girls & Strap OnsThis is another flick from Trouble Films, and is probably the first time I ever saw an Njoy toy put to good use in a porno. Butchy Maxine Holloway dominates candy-colored BBW femme Kitty Stryker, gagging her with an o-ring and clipping clothespins to her pierced nipples. She fucks her with a pink Ola from Minna Life, a cool G-spotting silicone vibe with a squeezeable pad that allows you to control the vibrations. After Kitty’s warmed up by the Ola, Maxine fucks her with a strap-on (again, I unfortunately couldn’t identify what dildo or harness she used.) Once Kitty cums, it’s Maxine’s turn with the toys. Kitty kneels before her and fucks her brains out with the Pure Wand while Maxine buzzes her own clit with the old standby Hitachi. It’s a wonderfully memorable scene; I first watched it about a year and a half ago and never forgot about it.

Occupy My Ass

Occupy My AssThis anal extravaganza from director/star Bobbi Starr has a great variety of awesome toys, all the better for occupying the aforementioned asses. Bobbi uses the Tantus Ripple on Lily LaBeau in Scene 1, as well as some gorgeous glass toys, and maaaaybe the Ringo (a 5” plug from Tantus) as well. Dana DeArmond’s Njoy Eleven finds itself in Sarah Shevon’s ass in scene 3. On Disc 2, the brilliant Aiden Starr dominates Arabelle Raphael’s ass with some glass toys and some giant black monstrosity. When she pulls with a pretty purple Tantus Silk, it seems almost meek by comparison.

BONUS: Belladonna Sexual Explorer

Belladonna Sexual ExplorerSo the toys in question don’t actually get used here, but in scene 5 Dana DeArmond proudly shows off some of her favorites from her sex toy collection to the legendary Belladonna. Naturally there’s a Hitachi, but there’s also the massive Njoy Pure Plug 2.0 and Njoy Eleven. She also owns two Tantus dildos, including Hank.

Sex toys can be an iffy, unregulated business, and pretty much the only film media that they show up in is pornography. As an advocate for body safe toys made by companies focused on pleasure and sex positivity, it’s always welcome to see porn showing off toys from great companies like Njoy, Fucking Sculptures, Crystal Delights, and Tantus, to name a few.

Watch more porn for women featuring sex toys here on HotMoviesForHer!

Judy Hologram wants an Njoy Eleven so that she can keep it under her pillow and smash skulls if there’s ever a break-in. You can follow her on Twitter @JudyHologram and the rest of us @HotMoviesForHer.

ScrewberX Review

By now, we’ve all used a ride-sharing service at least once, but not quite like ScrewberX. Most of the time it works out really well, but there’s always that one-in-ten chance the person you’re riding with is either going to convert you to their religion, try to sell you some of their mom’s homemade goods, or try to take the longest route possible, even when you’ve specified your preferred route. Unless you’re in a hurry, you usually end up meeting some pretty cool people who are just trying to make an extra buck. If you’re like these lucky people and use a ride service called ScrewberX, you end up getting more than a chauffeur…you get an experience you’ll never forget!

Scene One: Sovereign Syre & Steve Holmes

First of all, Sovereign Syre isn’t in enough movies, so to see her on the cast list for this film was exciting. She plays an aspiring actress with 20 minutes to get to her audition. Her driver, Steve Holmes, is probably not acting in this scene. He seems so comfortable and confident that it’s not far-fetched to see him offering beautiful women his leftover breakfast, which he does to Sovereign. While this scenario is not brand new or unheard of, the conversation between Steve and Sovereign is so self-aware and funny that it makes the impending sex much more fun to watch. With the clock ticking and an extremely talkative driver, Sovereign is pretty anxious about making her audition. When the car breaks down on a “side road” in the middle of nowhere, Sovereign thinks that she’s going to lose her mind. However, Steve has a plan to calm her nerves. It is a little known fact that Steve Holmes was a very successful massage therapist in Eastern Europe before coming to the States, and his skills are infamous. Sovereign is hip to Steve’s plan, and acquiesces to his advances, but says it’s “all about me.”

Scene Two: Dana DeArmond & Tommy Pistol

I wish I was as ballsy as Dana DeArmond in a ScrewberX. She’s never afraid to speak her mind or tell someone to fuck off. Tommy Pistol plays one of those annoying millenials that actually believes in the “organic tea-dirt from Egypt” served in mason jars “pressed and made by my cousin in Vermont,” and all that hippy mumbo jumbo. Dana has no time or patience for Tommy’s self-congratulatory speeches on a healthy lifestyle, and she lets him know multiple times. Her driver insists on discussing his aspirations to become an actor and his life growing up in Ohio, where was voted “Most Likely To Make It Out Of Ohio.” During Tommy’s long-winded navel-gazing conversation with himself, he says he has an audition coming up with Dana DeArmond. Unbeknownst to him, that’s exactly who he’s driving! When he realizes who Dana is, he pulls the car over and insists on doing the audition right then and there for her. To Dana’s horror, it just doesn’t stop. That’s when she says, “Is there anything else that you’re actually good at? Because maybe acting isn’t the thing you’re supposed to do, and driving for Screwber definitely isn’t.” When Tommy insists that he has 10 stars on Tinder (which isn’t a thing), Dana decides the only way she’s going to get to the office is by getting her rocks off and making Tommy drive her. Tommy, shocked by Dana’s forwardness, asks if she’s consenting to the sex they’re about to have, and Dana replies, “I’m consenting to you shutting the fuck up and eating my pussy.”

Scene Three: Cherie DeVille, Layla Price & Chad Diamond

Chad Diamond is a religious young man who loves his grandma and proudly wears the sweaters that she gave him. Today, he’s borrowing her car to drive for ScrewberX and make a couple bucks, while also spreading the “good word.” Nothing makes him happier than doing a good deed and helping someone else. This why he loves driving for ScrewberX. But he has no idea what he’s in for when he picks up Layla Price and Cherie DeVille. These girls are wild and do not understand why someone why Chad would be wearing a sweater his grandmother gave him in 90 degree heat. The girls know what to do; they have to help this poor guy. According to Cherie, “he looks like those weird people who ride around on bikes and come to your doorstep.” Oh, poor Chad. If only he had a glass partition separating him from his passengers!

Scene Four: Dana Vespoli, Dana DeArmond, Mark Wood & Steve Holmes

We’ve established that most of us have already been a passenger in a ride-sharing service, but only the bravest of us sign up to be drivers. Check out Dana Vespoli’s crazy luck on her first ScrewberX ride! She gets a little lost looking for her first customers in an industrial area, but immediately sees them after she makes a turn a row of storage facilities. There’s no mistaking it; these are her passengers, and they’re a (literal) bunch of clowns. They refuse to speak actual words and communicate solely through kazoos, instructing Dana where to take them. Since kazoo sounds don’t translate well into English, Dana is frustrated and asks them if there’s anything she can do to make them behave. Suddenly she is transported to a white room filled with balloons and other circus props. At first Dana is a bit scared, but as soon as one of the clowns rubs his dick all over her face and puts it into her ear, she decides “Eh, what the heck?” and starts blowing all of the clowns, including the one with the strap-on!

Scene Five: Bonus Scene

Be sure to check out this scene for an awesome behind-the-scenes conversation with director Dana Vespoli, Dana DeArmond, and Tommy Pistol.

Watch ScrewberX now!


Follow BridgetXXXXXXX and AndiScribe on Twitter.

Mother’s Little Helper Review

Mother’s Little Helper from director B. Skow ominously opens with this title card:

Explanation of Mothers Little Helper song and porno

Alrighty then!

Mother's Little helper BoxcoverFrom the outset, Skow lets his audience know that we’re in for a nasty, wild ride that’s going to push the boundaries of feature porno. To be honest, I’m really not sure how to review this movie. Mother’s Little Helper has a lot to take in, and is one of Skow’s darkest movies yet. Having dealt with disability, kidnapping, grief, psychiatry, and family fantasies, Skow now tackles mental illness and pharmaceuticals as an homage to the Rolling Stones.

Here, the “little yellow pill” is anthropomorphized as a beautiful young Englishwoman in a yellow sundress, Emily, played by the stunning Ava DeLush. Emily is a ghostly presence, seducing housewife Angie (a deliciously unhinged Dana DeArmond) and haunting her family. This family includes Angie’s stepdaughter Bianca (a surprising, standout performance by Kasey Warner), Bianca’s father Mick (Evan Stone), and Mick’s ex-wife, pharmacist Claudine (Penny Pax gamely playing a role that might be a bit too old for her). On the periphery are Kasey’s boyfriend Pete (Dane Cross) and Keith (Alec Knight).

Scene 1 – Dana DeArmond and Alec Knight

Dana DeArmond in Mother's Little Helper
Dana DeArmond as Angie

The flick opens with Bianca and Mick begging Claudine to help Angie by bringing Emily back. We cut to Angie having a breakdown, sobbing on the floor with lipstick smeared all over her face, when Mick appears to help her. She accuses him of having murdered Emily, when he then reintroduces Angie to the yellow-clad Emily. Angie cries with relief and happiness, leading to an abrupt cut to Angie drinking from a bottle in a bedroom with Emily by her side, presumably in a flashback. Mother’s Little Helper is full of strange, abrupt, non-chronological edits, giving the audience a sense of disorientation and confusion. It might be annoying in any other movie, but under Skow’s vision, it works and serves a purpose. Keith appears in the doorway, bottle in hand and smirk on his face, and Emily orders Dana to “suck his knob.” Dana laughs and gamely crawls towards Keith, unbuttoning his pants and giving him a sloppy, gaggy, deepthroaty blowjob leading him to cum in her mouth. It’s a scene that doesn’t quite fit into the rest of Mother’s Little Helper, as Keith never appears again, but it serves to show how Angie’s illness and addiction to Emily leads to infidelity and burdens her family. Other than that, it’s a perfectly sexy BJ scene, and a great intro to Angie’s mania and Emily’s seductive control.

 

Scene 2 – Kasey Warner and Dane Cross

Kasey Warner and Dane Cross in Mother's Little Helper
Kasey Warner and Dane Cross as Bianca and Pete

We cut again to Mick chasing Angie down the hallway, pulling her dress up, and ripping a patch off her belly so that he can flush it down the toilet against her protests. We cut again to Bianca and boyfriend Pete making out on the couch. It’s a classic “teens fuck before mom and dad get home” scene, and it works beautifully here. Throughout the movie, Bianca shows more concern and compassion towards her stepmother than any other character, and giving her a chance to fuck and have fun and be a normal young woman is refreshing and sweet. I’d never really noticed 20 year-old actress Kasey Warner before Mother’s Little Helper, but she’s definitely someone that I’m looking forward to seeing more of. She has some of the best acting chops that I’ve seen since Carter Cruise, and her fuck skills are sexy as hell. This is probably my favorite scene of the movie, with Pete fingering Bianca’s pussy and giving her tons of head before she returns the favor. They fuck in cowgirl, reverse, doggy, and spoon, and even get a little rough with Pete slapping Bianca’s tits. The cumshot barely registered, but I didn’t mind at all. Skow films the scene brilliantly, keeping his subjects well framed and lit, a testament to his time spent as a fashion photographer.

After the fuckery is over, Mick and Angie come home in the midst of fighting over the car keys; a frantic Angie refuses to hand them over, screaming that Mick murdered Emily. Mick gets them back from her and Bianca and Pete run for cover.

 

Scene 3 – Dana DeArmond and Ava Dalush

Ava DeLush and Dana DeArmond in Mother's Little Helper
Ava DeLush and Dana DeArmond as Emily and Angie

Well, here’s a bit of a mindfuck. The next scene opens with a shirtless Mick sitting down to breakfast, when Angie comes downstairs, looking radiant and smiley in a blue shirtdress and pretty hair. Mick asks when she had time to make breakfast, seeing as how she’s been asleep for three days after kissing Emily. Apparently this is NBD, as Mick and Angie are all smiles; Angie climbs onto Mick’s lap for some kissing and softcore reverse cowgirl. You thought this would be the sex scene? Think again, because suddenly Emily appears over Mick’s shoulder and a cut leads to a Sapphic session between Emily and Angie on a wood paneled room lit with gold light. They make out on the couch, smearing lipstick all over each other’s faces, before Angie goes to tease Emily’s pussy. It’s an erotic, spitty, playful lesbian scene, with lots of eyebrow raising dirty talk (“I’m gonna take care of you. You’re my little angel.”) Dana and Emily fuck each other like madcap teenagers, sniffing each other’s feet and sucking each other’s toes, constantly changing positions. One standout moment was Emily smothering Angie with her gorgeous ass in 69. They’re very bouncy and smiley, almost devilish in their interactions. Now, I normally love pretty, dirty lesbian scenes, but this was probably my least favorite scenes of the whole movie. Dana and Ava are two performers that I love, but they never quite settle into each other or give the viewer time to enjoy individual moments. But that’s just me; I tend to enjoy slower lesbian scenes, but people who prefer to watch two ladies just tear into each other will probably love this.

Scene 4 – Evan Stone and Penny Pax

Penny Pax and Evan Stone in Mother's Little Helper
Penny Pax and Evan Stone as Claudine and Mick

As Dana cums, the action suddenly switches to some family scenes; Bianca hugs Claudine goodbye, the family and Emily maniacally laughing around the dinner table as they toast to Emily, and an unsettling conversation over breakfast where Angie forgets that Bianca is not her biological daughter. Claudine and her ex-husband Mick have a heart-to-heart over the situation; Claudine is jealous and confused about Angie’s relationship with Bianca, while Mick feebly tries to assure her that everything will be alright. Claudine takes this opportunity to seduce the ex that left her for a nut, and Skow’s bizarre editing shows that Mick’s cock is pretty much magically already out of his pants. She deepthroats his cock, moaning all the while, and he eats her ass while rubbing her clit. They have pretty standard porno sex; they don’t have a ton of chemistry, but they do look great together. I adore Penny Pax, but I think that this scene would have been stronger had Skow cast an older actress; maybe Dana Vespoli, Mercedes Carerra, or Cherie Deville, to name a few.

 

Scene 5 – Dana DeArmond, Ava Dalush, and Kasey Warner

Ava DeLush Kasey Warner Dana DeArmond in Mother's Little Helper
Ava Delush, Kasey Warner, and Dana DeArmond as Emily, Bianca, and Angie

So here’s where things get real weird. Without giving away the ending, Angie truly loses her grip on reality and cuts a swath of terror and betrayal through the family. Claudine, Mick, and Bianca meet, and Claudine insists that they have to kill Emily. Still feeling sympathy for her stepmother, Bianca pleads her case, until she walks in on Angie fucking Pete on the kitchen. Emotionally broken, Bianca falls to the calming, escapist seductions of Emily. It’s a madcap series of short scenes, and a testament to B. Skow’s ability to draw beautiful, believable performances from his cast. Kasey Warner in particular is excellent (it helps that she bears a striking resemblance to Shailene Woodley.) What happens next is a short (only about ten minutes long) but super weird and sexy threesome between Bianca, Angie, and ringleader Emily. Skow’s camera favors close-ups of his subjects’ bodies as they writhe around each other in blissful, hedonistic ecstasy. Angie and Bianca crowd around and worship Emily; at one point, Bianca tribs her while Angie sits on her face. It’s an improvement over the previous lesbian scene; the addition of a third woman anchors the performers, allowing them to settle into each others’ bodies. Despite its short length, this final scene is a superbly erotic and satisfying ending to Mother’s Little Helper.

Want to find out the fates of Angie, Bianca, Emily, and their family? Watch Mother’s Little Helper  on HotMoviesForHer today!

Judy Hologram is too cute and hungry to write a cute byline. You can follow her on Twitter @JudyHologram and the rest of us @HotMoviesForHer.

The Authentic Lesbian Review: Prison Lesbians Vol. 3

Prison Lesbians Vol. 3From the brilliant mind of Dana Vespoli comes the 3rd installment of Sweetheart Video’s ever so popular series Prison Lesbians. Prison Lesbians Vol. 3 continues the proud tradition of presenting us with gorgeous women in some pretty bad situations with the law. I’m very familiar with the series and Dana Vespoli (I would love to have a drink with her and pick her brain!) so there was never a doubt in my mind that this would be great. Plus I love everything Lily Cade and Dana DeArmond do. The entire cast is great, but there’s something special about those two.

Scene 1 – Lea Lexis & Anna Morna

Right out of the gate they hit a home run. We open to an interrogation room, in which the sexy Anna Morna is waiting on her lawyer, Dana Vespoli, who just walked in. Immediately you know Dana’s annoyed. Turns out she’s dealing with the spoiled brat offspring of a wealthy family she’s been representing for years. Anna got caught with illegal drugs in a foreign country (we’ve all been there) and expects Dana to snap her fingers and get her out of jail, not understanding that the laws there are different from those back in the states. Anna did a great job portraying her character because she got on my nerves with her naiveté and I couldn’t wait for her to get fucked (because that’s what happens when someone gets on your nerves in my world). Right on cue, prison guard Lea Lexis and her sexy as fuck Romanian accent walk in and the fun begins. Noticing on the spot that she’s dealing with an American brat, Lea decides it’s time to teach precious little Anna discipline. I wish this was how I learned discipline!

Eager to be released from the fresh hell she’s in, Anna agrees to do anything, ANYTHING, to please the guard. Lea is in charge from the very beginning and the entire scene is beyond hot! She begins with hair pulling, nipple pinching, and spanking, to which Anna responds exactly like any normal person would…she moans with pleasure and her panties are drenched because she’s so wet. She even arches her back like she can’t wait to get fucked, and once Lea picks up on it she knows there are no limits with this prisoner. After making her beg and plead to be fucked, Lea tells her fresh inmate she has to work for what she wants, and instructs Anna to suck her tits and fondle her clit. Even while getting finger fucked Lea remains in control, threatening to keep Anna locked up because she’s so good at eating pussy. Now it’s Anna’s turn to be pleased and Lea finger fucks her to two orgasms back-to-back. Lea isn’t done though. She fucks Anna sideways before they jump into the 69 position and munch out. Finally Anna regains some control over her quivering body and fingers Lea to an orgasm, for which Lea thanks her by stuffing her panties in Anna’s mouth (HOT!). They fool around more and then out of the blue Anna goes HAM on Lea’s pussy. Lea’s orgasm is so intense that I had to take a 20 minute break before watching the rest of the movie!

I know it’s early, but this scene is already my favorite! Lea Lexis and Anna Morna are simply amazing together in these roles. Both stayed in character and both were extremely turned on throughout the entire scene making the fantasy come to life even more. This is a perfect scene! To top it off, Lea decides to keep Ana locked up after all for a round two. I hope there’s a sequel scene soon!

Scene 2 – Dana DeArmond & Allie Rae

This movie is just too good to be true. Only on the 2nd scene and it’s my 2nd favorite. This one opens with a cool creepy/horror vibe to it. Allie Rae is asleep in her cell with a pacing Dana DeArmond as her cellie. Dana whispers something unintelligible in Allie’s ear that causes her eyes to pop open in fear (creepy is sexy!) and already you can tell is Dana is one crazy ass chick! Apparently, Allie would be passed around for cheap cigarettes if it wasn’t for Dana’s protection as a result of them fucking, but word around the prison is that Allie is talking about getting out soon and leaving Dana behind. Being the psychopath that she is, Dana is visibly upset and doesn’t trust Allie’s word that she is going anywhere. Allie is scared shitless, so the only logical thing to do is to have sex with Dana to calm her down, and like any normal crazy person, Dana demands Allie eat her ass to prove her loyalty and then twerks on her face. It’s pretty awesome. Much like Lea Lexis in the previous scene, Dana has complete control over Allie and the scene, but the fact that she’s out of her mind adds a different level of sexiness to the entire encounter. She lays Allie over her knee and proceeds to spank her before eating her pussy like a woman on a mission! Its obvious Allie is loving every minute of it and when Dana gets behind her (my favorite position!) and fingers the shit out of her pussy while covering her mouth I blew one and took 2 minutes to myself. Allie lasted maybe 3 minutes longer than me courtesy of crazy Dana and the dirty talk. Control remains with Dana and Allie starts to go down on her I can’t help but wonder how the hell her bush stays so damn perfect! I mean, how much do even pay for that type of consistency? Do you do it yourself? (Dana, we must talk). Anyway, Allie gets her face fucked and something about the bed creaking turned me on. Dana cums while looking directly into Allie’s eyes then tells Allie to touch her pussy while she touches hers. Those two minutes was a volcano erupting and they follow it up with Dana grinding on Allie’s back.

Allie’s ass ends up red as fuck from Dana slapping it nonstop and both prisoners decide to go to sleep…or so you think. Just when Dana closes her eyes Allie gets up and walks over to the cell bars looking abused, used and desperate to get away, then Dana pops up and sits on the bed all creepy like watching Allie like an invisible stalker. It’s pretty fucking hot! I have feeling something else went down and I would love to know what it was! Part 2 pleeeeaaaasssseeeee, Vespoli!?!

Scene 3 – Lily Cade & Jelena Jensen

I love the plot in this scene because it’s classic betrayal! Lily Cade is a drug dealer and Jelena Jensen is an undercover cop sent in to infiltrate her organization and take her down. Lily finds out about Jelena’s agenda, but only after the two have fallen in love, so of course Jelena tries to convince Lily that she’s had a change of heart and now wants to help her escape the long arm of the law. Since my girl Lily ain’t no dummy she already has Jensen tied up to a hotel bed while wielding a gun around like a paranoid schizophrenic, but it’s clear to see Jelena has the upper hand. Besides the fact that her body is crazy hot, Lily desperately wants to believe her as she’s overcome with love. She starts crying, and even though she’s torn, a scene with crying women often leads to a heavy make-out session and that’s exactly what happens here. After Lily cuts Jelena loose, the two bump and grind before clothes start coming off. I have to say, Lily Cade stays in character throughout this scene and really sells the plot and enhances the fantasy for the viewer. She looks hurt and angry and betrayed so when she finger fucks Jelena, it’s with a vengeance. She also brings up a good point while finger banging the undercover cop. Of course they’ve had her bugged the entire time she’s been on the case, so have the cops heard them fucking? Are they on to the love affair? Is this a double cross from Jensen? Suspense and sex is the best! After munching down and making Jelena cum, it’s Lily’s turn and the cop turned first lady of organized crime is sure to make it count. Her whole body shakes with orgasm as Jelena eats her out!

From here Lily fondles Jelena to another orgasm before having another one herself, and the action kind of dwindles away until they start tribbing and Lily goes into her ass up position while Jelena goes tit-to-clit crazy and fingers the shit out of Lily from behind. The orgasms are so real in this scene you can feel them through the screen and the ending is way more than topping on the cake. After fucking each other’s brains out, they kiss and look into each other’s eyes before a moment of clarity happens and they both reach for the gun that Lily was previously waving around. You hear a loud bang but the screen is black so you don’t know who shot who! Cliff hangers are such teasers!

Scene 4 – Zoey Monroe & Morgan Lee

Morgan Lee is beating the living shit out of Zoey Monroe as soon as this scene opens, and when I say beating, I mean beating! Zoey doesn’t stand a chance as she gets ran down and pummeled to a mess. Flash forward and somehow the two end up in the same holding cell. Zoey is obviously out for revenge and picks a fight as soon as Morgan walks in. Naturally this leads to sex with Zoey taking control and regaining everything that was lost as a result of that royal ass whopping she took. Morgan unconvincingly yells stop as Zoey kisses and climbs on top of her, but Zoey isn’t having any of that as she eats Morgan out from behind and smacks her ass making her vow to never forget her name. It’s impossible not to notice that both girls have incredibly sex back tattoos and being the lover of tats that I am, that just helped push me over the edge a little. Morgan eats Zoey out to perfection before the two jump into a 69. Zoey jiggles Morgan’s ass on her face while licking her like crazy and it’s pretty fun to watch!

They scissor and 69 more before cumming all over each other’s faces at least 2 more times each. I really enjoyed the chemistry between Zoey and Morgan in this scene. They’re completely bought in from the beginning and once the action starts its like cameras aren’t even in the room. There are no words after all the bumping, grinding and clit rubbing so the pair just kiss until it fades to black.

Prison Lesbians Vol. 3 is an instant hit and definitely worth the time as this is one you won’t walk away from disappointed. Watch it here and be sure to let us know what you think!

For more lesbian talk follow me at authenticlezz1 and the rest of the girls at hotmoviesforher!

Amazon Wish List Awards

The ladies of porn work hard, and they deserve some love back from all the love they give to your love life (solo or participatory). The Amazon Wish List is their way of telling you how to do just that, and not just during the holidays or their birthdays. Below we present to you the winners of The Wish List, with some extras thrown in. All lists are active and have been updated this month. So whip out that wallet – one of these babes is asking for a drum set…

 

Best Butt Plug Need

Dani Daniels

It’s bejeweled and is listed as “highest priority”

she doesn’t have a twitter

Best Need for Shoes

Dana DeArmond

Doubt that she’s actually barefoot, but she has asked for over 20 pairs of shoes. And also wants some Disney-print tattoo tights.

this is her twitter

Best Carpet Need

Faye Reagan

Desperately needs some rugs, and I’m very confused on why she needs so many.

she doesn’t use twitter

Best Collection of Designer Needs

Jayden James

With a list that makes you want to sing “Gucci, Gucci, Louis, Louis, Fendi, Fendi, Prada“, items included name Gucci, Christian Louboutin, Michael Kors, Juicy Couture, Louis Vuitton, and Burberry.

hasn’t tweeted since 2010

Best Toy Need…For Pets

Tie: Ashley Graham and Alexis Texas

Ashley Graham wants you to pamper her cat

Alexis Texas needs a dog laser…and some glow-in-the-dark driveway pebbles.

Ashley’s twitter and Alexis’s twitter

Best Cereal That Is Awesome Need

Cadence St. John

Although this is sadly now unavailable, she really could use some Count Chocula to come her way. Perhaps she should list this instead?

her tweets are protected

Best Need to Learn a Language

Kristina Rose

Kristina wants to learn Spanish, and a lot of it.

this is her twitter

Best All-Around Butt Need

Angie Noir

More thongs than I can count, a “humongous” butt plug, a chair, and a shower enema system. Lady wants her tush pampered.

this is her twitter

Best Burning Man Need

Rilynn Rae

Besides her “New Life in LA” and “Work Stuff” lists, there’s a list dedicated to the early fall Burning Man festival, mostly composed of belly dance wear, and also a special compass. Smart.

rilynn’s twitter

Best Is This a Bathing Suit Or…

Kendall Karson

Pieces might be bathing suits or just bikini-and-bottom wear, I’m honestly not sure.

her twitter here

Best Little Monkey List

Ava Addams

In an effort to have her fans fully show they care, she whipped up an adorable list of things she wishes her son to have. There’s a Blue’s Clues vest on there that is just plum AWESOME.

ava’s twitter

Best Geek the Eff Out List

Tanya Tate

One of my personal favorites, Tanya lists so many comic book related items that I fell in love with her all over again.

best twitter ever

Best Need to Bling Out Her iPhone Greater Than The Sun

Sophia Fiore

Just about every iPhone bling case that has ever been made is listed on here. They are pretty and they sparkle, but my God.

her twitter

Easiest List to Purchase From

Remy LaCroix

This girl is both smart and simple to please; she’s asking for gift cards and only 25 more basic items, like American Apparel underthings.

remy’s twitter

Best I Seriously Want to Know if Someone Will Buy That Need

Tie: Kiera Winters and Charlee Chase

Kiera is asking for a drum set, but if you’re lacking $$$ she also wants a box of Hello Kitty bandages. Charlee has her eye all up on this sort-of-pro video camera.

kiera twitter charlee twitter

Best Need on Paige Turnah’s List

A rubber skirt. And Jelly Belly candles.

her twitter