Written by:
FrzKey on April 20th, 2010
Ok so I just saw “Kick Ass” and Hit Girl was awesome – as well as inspiring. No worries, the pint sized dynamo didn’t inspire me to run around town leaving a swath of drug dealing baddies in my wake – but she did remind me of one thing I really love and almost never do – dress up! I mean honestly, Hit girl and even the title character Kick Ass seemed to have oodles of fun getting into their costumes and checking out the way their suits seemed to transform them into new versions of themselves.
I could have jumped off the fetish end and grabbed a couple cosplay movies, dived into pantyhose hero amateur vids, but really today I’m feeling the need for something a little more grown up and sultry and “PinUp Perversions With Lela Star” looked like just the ticket.
I’m not usually a fan of Club Jenna but I have to admit I love the classic feel they went for with this film. It could have been only slightly improved with the use of less plastic models with a softer curve to them, but Lela Star still looked great outfitted in pink bows and garters. As the scenes progress the old fashioned feel evolves/degenerates into something a lot more modern with pop art influences. Outfits come off, perfect ruby red lipstick gets rubbed off on massive cocks, hair comes undone and out of perfectly coifed styles and everything ends with the usual splooge shot.
The sex was – normal porn sex. Rather boring. Starts with a blow job, includes lightning fast anal and ends with a splooge to the face, mouth, ice cream cone (blech) or something equally gross and face/mouth adjacent. The guys are pretty hot but with the only nod to female pleasure being one scene where the guy spit on his partner’s crotch before penetration; I’ve got to say that the actual action left me plenty cold. I didn’t even find respite in a super hot girl on girl scene, as they got to repeatedly stabbing each other rapidly with dildos which I don’t find terribly sexy or fun to watch.
After a while, my initial joy in the theme and the direction of this particular film was completely eroded by the actual content. No matter how much you dress up a dead horse – it’s still a dead horse. I can’t wait till one of the straight studios with an eye to feminine pleasure releases another pinup movie, I’m sure it’ll satisfy where “PinUp Perversions” bored.
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Written by:
J.D. on November 19th, 2009
I’m not sure what I was expecting when I started watching this Jenna Jameson movie, but it sure wasn’t what I ended up with. Maybe I was planning on a tame, erotic romp with lots of passionate kissing and romantic embraces, but that this was not. Featuring Jameson and her real life husband, Justin Sterling, this movie follows shy recluse Jim Mitchell as he falls deeper and deeper in love with Barbara, his masseuse.
While the love affair is really just in Jim’s head, their physical relationship moves to the next level as he pays Barbara to make house calls and fulfill his kinky fantasies. More thriller than traditional porn, this remake (of the award-winning 1990 movie The Masseuse, directed by Paul Thomas as well) is not only super plot based, but offers an attention grabbing story that pulls you in and has you watching til the credits. And that’s nothing to sneeze at when you are talking about porn!
As much as I like that this flick is pretty different than most other pornos I’ve seen, there was something uncomfortable for me when it came to watching a story about stalking and a man entrenched in a disillusionment in the context of porno. I know that porn is all about fantasy and indulging what gets you off, but in the movie they touch on the fact that what’s going on in Jim’s head is not what’s going on in reality. It just felt overly creepy to me. It just goes to show that Sterling, who looks like Michael Cera all grown up, is a surprisingly good actor.
And let’ not forget about now-retired Jenna Jameson. Her acting stills are right on par as well, truly making this movie feel more mainstream and less porn. I guess there is a reason she’s one of the biggest crossover stars ever.
Aside from my personal eek factor, I think this movie is actually pretty hot. Jameson and Sterling have a definite chemistry and it’s easy to see they are totally into each other. And while the fucking is harder in some scenes, even the hardcore kinky sex has a tender touch to it.
All in all, I might not recommend this unexpected movie as the first porn you should ever see, but it’s definitely worth a watch when you are good looking for something a little out of the ordinary.
-J.D. Bauchery
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Written by:
J.D. on September 30th, 2009
Club Jenna takes on alt queen Joanna Angel? I just had to see this! While it’s not like Club Jenna (Jameson) only features standard stars and movies, I feel like they haven’t really forayed into the tattooed bad girl territory that is the ladies of Burning Angel. And I am so glad they did. Just from reading the description I am totally in.
After fucking her one night stand (real life boyfriend James Deen) all night, Joanna goes to take a shower, only to be kicked (ok, fucked really) out mid wash up and left dirtier than before. Not one to sit and cry about her bad fortune, Joanna goes on a mission to find herself a place to shower and still get to her Burning Angel Spelling Bee on time.
While watching Joanna run around town wearing only a pink towel was pretty awesome, the sex, of course, was the best part – all six scenes of it. Gia Paloma is always fun and her turn as a kickin’ ass and takin’ names mistress was super hot. And the Scarlett Pain/Joanna Angel girl-on-girl shower romp (yes Joanna FINALLY gets her shower!) was totally one to watch. But scene one was my favorite of the bunch for one reason: I pretty much love watching Joanna Angel and James Deen get down and dirty. They have some serious chemistry going on and it makes their scenes extra hot. It’s obvious that Deen really knows how to get his lady off.
I’ll be honest and say that I can’t really get down when someone yells “I’m not a faggot,” in the middle of a porn scene (total boner killer for me), but this time I’m going to chalk it up to Deen being a really great actor and making his part seem overly believable. Next time, I’m writing a strongly worded letter.
The perfect mix of fucking, humor and a fun plot definitely makes this movie something you’ll want to watch. And though it’s a Club Jenna flick, this one has all the awesomeness of a Burning Angel movie and more! I hope this is the start of a beautiful friendship.
-J.D. Bauchery
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I’m a little embarrassed to say that I didn’t even know this movie existed, but since it is from 2004 BP*, I’m not going to beat myself up about it too much. Instead I’m just going to revel in the amazingness that is Bella Love Jenna.
Let me just start by saying this movie is fucking weird. I expected Belladonna and Ms. Jameson to do it and it to be awesome. What I did not expect was a bizarre murder story with cannibalism, a tiny Dirty Harry on a tricycle and Nazis.
So, the movie starts with a quick story intro before Jameson wheels Belladonna into a room on a gurney. I’m assuming she is dead or something, but fortunately for us, after seeing the XXX goodness that follows, she brings her back to life by eating her out. What follows is a dark and frantic scene with plenty of finger banging and pussy exploring. I have to say this is as dirty as I’ve ever seen the lovely Ms. Jameson and I’m guessing we can all thank Belladonna for it!
What is probably the hardest scene of the flick, but one I found myself draw in by, was the fourth starring Belladonna and Nacho Vidal. For some reason I love watching Bella do dirty things I don’t often seek out in porn. I guess because I have no doubt who’s in control or if she’s getting off! In this one, Vidal drills her ass before exploding on her face – it’s filthy and awesome.
I have to say that not every scene was my cup of tea in this one, after watching a disgusting (it’s the character he’s playing, he’s quite handsome) Anthony Hardwood take a speculum out of Monica Sweetheart and stick it in his filthy mouth in scene two, I chose to skip it. I may have missed something awesome, but I don’t like medical stuff, especially when a dude’s mouth is crusted in something disgusting.
The weirdest thing about this movie is that they actually tie together the whole thing in the end! I’m not saying I understand everything completely, because the sex does distract from the plot, but I was super happy with the ending. I’m not going to ruin it for anyone, but I will recommend you pay attention to Dirty Harry though out the flick. If you like art house porno, definitely take a look at this one – I was pleasantly surprised!
Oh, and by the way, I love Randy Spears just a little bit more after watching his non-sex role in this flick.
*Before Porn – I was once an innocent grad student who’d never seen a porno.
-The Porn Librarian
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Written by:
FrzKey on July 7th, 2009
Sometimes a girl really just needs a little variety in her search for the big O, so this time I went with something a little more popular – Club Jenna’s “Steal Runway.” In my quest for better and better porn, naughtier niches and something to peak my rather jaded interests, I sometimes forget completely what the big porn studio’s movies are like and after I’d checked out an absolutely awesome title from Vivid Premium the other day, I was spoiling for more goodies from the big dogs.
Three minutes in and I’m not sure if there’s going to be any dialogue in “Steal Runway.” But then the dialogue makes a muted entrance right around the time that a pair of humongous honkers do; add in an excessive drug and alcohol cocktail, and we’re ready for the first sex scene of the movie. Or not – I’m dry as a bone and wondering exactly what was in the heroine’s illicit little mix that has her wet and screaming without any foreplay at all. Very wham bam, without even a thank you ma’am. The second scene is better (either that or I seriously favor brunettes), though the overall theme is still a pretty unpleasant one of trading sex for pittances. The scene is distinguished by being graced with a real female orgasm, yet it too lacks any female foreplay.
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