Tag Archives: Classic

The Authentic Lesbian Review: Alice In Wonderland

Like many of society’s latest and greatest, there were multiple things about myself that I did not come to discover until late into my twenties. For example, I had no clue I too was susceptible to becoming star struck until Charlie Day was walking by the office, preparing to film a scene for It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. My best friend Elizabeth and I proceeded to stalk Danny DeVito’s trailer waiting for him (she’s obsessed). It was a no go, but we had a very interesting conversation with one of the security ladies and I got this cool ass picture! … Continue reading The Authentic Lesbian Review: Alice In Wonderland

The Authentic Lesbian Review: Fornicating Aliens

If you’re looking for green aliens fucking chicks with long tentacles that squirt out ridiculous amounts of any color liquid you can imagine, stop reading. This movie is not for you. If you think you can handle a French masterpiece about dead bodies being taken over by horny aliens with powers of seduction and possession, then Fornicating Aliens, directed by Claude Pierson for Alpha France, is totally for you! Since the movie is in French with no subtitles, I’m limited in my knowledge of the plot and that can’t help but influence the review, but trust me, the visuals do … Continue reading The Authentic Lesbian Review: Fornicating Aliens

The Opening Of Misty Beethoven

Back in 2007, mere months after I started working at HM4Her, I sat down to review The Opening Of Misty Beethoven.  Being such a novice to the world of smutty reviews, and classics like this at all really, I only pumped out a quick paragraph and a half about this super popular and influential film.  Oy! What was I thinking?  I guess at that time, that is how we were doing things. Anyway, last week we were lucky enough to get a beautiful new box set full to the hilt with all things Misty Beethoven.  Not only did we receive … Continue reading The Opening Of Misty Beethoven

Rain

Today is Election Day here in the U.S.A., which means that a lot of people are pretty stressed out about the coming presidential results.  You could sit and watch CNN all night, keeping your ear to the ground for each individual vote, but why not take a little break and enjoy a dirty movie to keep your spirits up and your blood pressure down… well, after the orgasm, of course. Today I am keeping short and sweet with an old school quickie from HotOldMovies.  They are classic movies with no discernible dialogue and usually have pretty dreadful music, so you … Continue reading Rain

Rated Sex

There are lots of ways that we porn reviewers pick the movies that we watch.  Sure, sometimes there are big releases that need to be promoted, so we give them a look, but usually our choices come from browsing the site and taking a gander at some of the movies that seem exciting.  It could be the title that titillates us, or possibly the stars that catch our eyes… and every once in a while, we get sucked in by the screen caps, which is what happened today with Rated Sex. While the box cover is what initially drew me … Continue reading Rated Sex

Pervy Poster Art and Latin American Brings The Lady Porn Love – Link Love

Happy Humpday!  Welcome back to the midweek stretch.  We are winding the summer down at warp speed and I know that there are a ton of people out on vacation around now, trying to soak up those last remaining days until fall.  Not to worry though, folks, because we smut peddlers are still around and ready to help push your workweek into the second half!  Let’s get to celebrating the hump with a little Link Love! – Nerve offers up a few awesome classic smut posters from the ’70s and ’80s.  Look at that vintage style!  Also, we totally have … Continue reading Pervy Poster Art and Latin American Brings The Lady Porn Love – Link Love

The Devil Inside Her

Today was feeling like an old school porno day, so I headed over to our Classics category to check out the goods of decades past.  Something about this bizzaro ‘70s flick caught my eye.  I mean, you mix weird family dynamics, demons and Annie Sprinkle, and I am so there.  Add in a naked Devil jerking off and you have yourself a porno I can’t help but need to review. Basic premise of this movie features a pair of sisters lusting/loving the same man.  Not only is their über religious father in the way, the second sister (Hope) gets so … Continue reading The Devil Inside Her

Hollywood Merry-Go-Round – Remastered Grindhouse Edition

Sometimes you just need a little old school orgy to round out your day.  While this whole Grindhouse classic collection wasn’t group sex, the movie started out with orgy action that set the pace for my porno watching experience.  And what a nice pace it was…  Featuring rare footage of porn legend John Holmes, this ‘70s compilation offers a whole host of awesome scenes with some of the industry’s favorite stars. One thing I especially enjoy about this smattering of scenes is that even though they give us a little background music to keep things moving along, you can still … Continue reading Hollywood Merry-Go-Round – Remastered Grindhouse Edition

Debbie Does Dallas 30th Anniversary: Re-mastered Feature

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been readying my apartment for an upcoming move.  Along with packing all of my belongings, this also entails going through all of the shit I’ve ended up storing under my bed and in various closets.  The other night I was pulling boxes of random stuff out from under my bed when I found a VHS copy of Debbie Does Dallas.  Score!  I happily passed it along to a friend that still has a VCR, reminiscing about how it is such an awesome movie.  Luckily, I didn’t actually need to keep the old VCR … Continue reading Debbie Does Dallas 30th Anniversary: Re-mastered Feature

Cafe Flesh

I’ve been looking forward to reviewing Café Flesh for a long time now.  Not only do I love classic movies, but this one has been in my sights for a while now and I am definitely ready to give it some review love! The basic story of Café Flesh follows a post-apocalyptic society broken into two segments – the cans and the cannots.  Ninety-nine percent of the population are Sex Negatives who long to fuck, but are unable to withstand another’s touch without getting violently ill.  The slim one percent are Sex Positives, the ones who can still get it … Continue reading Cafe Flesh