celebrity sex tapes

Happy Humpday!  Welcome to the midweek stretch.  Can you believe it’s already the last week of June?  How fast is time flying by?  I remember when I was younger the summer lasted forever, but now it feels like only a few weeks long.  Crazy! Anyway, it’s the week before a three-day weekend, so while the month is speeding, this week is going pretttttttty slow.  But we are at the middle of it, so let’s celebrate this hump right, with some Link Lovin’!

- Everyone’s favorite vampire got all gooed up recently.  They say he got pied, but I’m thinking Buzzfeed is right with the bukkake hypothesis…

- Speaking of Buzzfeed and semen… apparently there is a pub in New Zealand that serves horse semen shots.  I’m sorry, I meant to write GREEN APPLE FLAVORED horse semen shots.  I definitely threw up in my mouth a little there.  Probably because of the green apple flavoring.

- Porn star Sasha Grey is in the new Eminem video – you know, the one where he blows his brains out.  Oh Eminem, me thinks someone needs to get thee to a therapist.  You might have a few issues to attend to…

- Nicki Minaj is the latest celebrity to maybe have a leaked sex tape. Yawn.  Does anyone still care about celeb sex tapes?  Especially grainy ones that may or may not be of the person?  zzzzzzz. (via HuffPo)

- What can we learn from animal sex lives? And would you first response be to compare it to the ways we fuck?  Just curious.

- And lastly, check out this awesome video about the origins of the work ‘cunt’ on Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross’ site! (I decided not to embed it)
Hope this gets you through til the holiday weekend!

xoxo
-JD

Comments Off

Happy Humpday!  Welcome to the midweek stretch.  Well, for me today is the last day in the office this week since I’ll be at Blogher (which I’ll write more about in a minute), but that doesn’t mean that this week isn’t going to be busy, busy, busy!  In fact, as I write this I just looked down at my to-do list and realized that I still have a whole host of tasks to accomplish before I hit the road!  That said, I still spent some quality time seeking out all the sexy news that’s fit to print, so let’s get to linkin’!!

- Stoya, porno’s sweetheart with a sassy streak, is back and has taken to the Internet, setting up her own Tumblr page and using it to answer fan questions.  Anything you want to know about this porno gem? Here’s your chance!  (via Fleshbot)

- A recent study found that having sex can actually stimulate brain growth.  How awesome is that!?!  Ok, so right now the findings are based on how rats react, but still, what a hot reason to go get busy!  (via Jamye Waxman) Read the rest of this entry »

Comments Off

We’re watching this hetero porn.

That’s right, we’re now offering the Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee porno!!! Finally, celebrities I’d actually like to see naked, fucking!

Comments Off

It all started with a disturbing tweet from Hugh Hefner and has quickly spiraled to a full ‘cover’ shot on trashy celebrity gossip site TMZ.

Is Marge really going full Monty in the next issue of Playboy magazine? Quite possibly, yes. Is this a good thing? I have absolutely no idea, but I do know one thing for certain, nude images of your favorite cartoon stars are nothing new (remember yaoi) it’s just new that they’re being officially sanctioned by their actual creators. So while you wait I’ve dredged up a couple non official hentai’s featuring some very familiar characters.

Here’s hoping Marge’s official spread will be better drawn.

1 Comment »

Studio: Third Degree Category: Humor

You won’t hear me admit this too often, but I am a total celebrity gossip junkie. I just can’t help it. If those kooky Olsen Twins go out for lunch, I wanna know all the dirt. I just can’t help it. And while I love most things celeb scandalous, there are two things I don’t particularly care for – celebrity sex tapes and TMZ, one of the major gossip sites/TV shows. That said, when I saw this mix of the two done porno spoof type, I just had to check it out.

Written and directed by Philly boys Brian Bangs and Spock Buckton (from TLA), this trashy tabloid parody takes all the awesomeness that is Hollywood gossip and really doesn’t have to do much to pornify it. We start in the TMSleaze office, where Editor Not Harvey Leven (Ron Jeremy) is meeting with his writers to get all the dirty details they have to dish. Who’s fucking who?

Apparently everyone is! Ball-a and Slimin’ Foul from American Idol are screwing all over the place. That crazy Ball-a… And we can’t forget about rapper Feminem and Linda Blowhand getting hot and heavy in the studio. I’m glad that other guy joined in to make it a super sexy threesome! I don’t know shit about Heidi and Spencer, but scene 6 with Heiny and Spender was what I liked best. Their fleeting fame brings them to make a sex tape in public, which is probably closer to reality than I’d like to think. I know this was my favie because it involves James Deen and anything featuring him is always tops in my book. I also really liked that Brynn Tyler (Heiny) got off before Spender even had any clothes off. He knows how to treat a lady right. I will say that Deen’s awful wig was a total turn off, but I’m willing to ignore it if I get to watch him fuck.

While the sex in this flick is pretty freakin’ hot, I’d have to say my favorite parts were the totally random extra bits they added in, like World Famous Jewish Hip-Hop Producer, Dr. Dre-dle and Joanna Angel as Lamy Slimehouse. And especially Smell Fibsen’s wasted ramblings. That is some seriously funny shit. Good Job, TLA guys, you did the City of Brotherly Love proud.

-J.D. Bauchery

Watch “TMSleaze” Now!

Comments Off

Photo collage from fanpop.com

According to TMZ, supposedly there is a sex tape floating around featuring Leighton Meester (Blair on Gossip Girl) with her boyfriend at the time. Or maybe they’re still together? I don’t know, the tape is a few years old, and really, I don’t care. There’s no denying Leighton is very cute (especially compared to some past sex tapes we’ve seen), but she doesn’t seem like the usual desperado “leaking” their tape, so I truly wish her the best with it. But you know what’s really on my mind? Now, I’m not only going to openly admit to being Gossip Girl’s #1 fan (which may be debatable by my good friend who is in equal nerd-dom as I am), but I am also unashamedly asking: Where the HELL is my sex tape of Ed Westwick??

Seriously now, the world needs some hot celeb guy sex tapes! We’ve gone over this before! Screw the girls, screw Chace Crawford and his prettyboy face… I want to see Ed Westwick. He is cruel and evil and oh so debonair (as Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl… ok, so maybe not the same as in real life, but whatever… I’m fantasizing here.); I will even volunteer to be the lady in question! Am I asking too much? I think not.

I mean, we look super cute together, no?

See? Case closed. Mr. Westwick, feel free to contact me at your leisure (aka this weekend).

You know you love me, XOXO

Venus

Comments Off

Last week, JD offered up a list of the top five movies she’s just dying to watch and as soon as I saw it I knew I had to compile a list of my own. I’m sure you feel really bad for us, we have access to over 100,000 movies and no time to watch them… but sometimes it sucks! We add almost 100 movies a day and a day doesn’t go by when something doesn’t catch my eye.

Anyways, here’s my own top five. I’m not going to duplicate any of JD’s (I’ve watched three of them because i’m super dedicated to my job) but I really need to see When Ginger Met Nina also.

Read the rest of this entry »

Comments Off

Well, it’s been 15 years since Lorena Bobbitt made headlines by severing her husband’s penis as he slept, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less curious to see the two pornos he starred after the incident! I haven’t seen either yet, but I’m guessing they are going to be a total train wreck and I will not be able to look away. Damn my curiosity…

Anyways, the good news for all of you who are obsessed with pop culture porn like me is that we’ve got a one month exclusive on John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut and Frankenpenis.

Frankenpenis. How can you not want to see that shit!

For the full scoop, head over to HotMovies The Blog for the official press release.

Comments Off

You may have been living under a rock yesterday, so hopefully the Porn Librarian was the first to tell you (ok, probably the millionth) some exciting news – there just may be a Josh Hartnett sex tape.

Since I am a foremost authority on details, I’ll recap the important stuff – Josh Hartnett, public sex in library, caught on surveillance. Oh, and Red Light District released a press release offering $500,000 for the video.

I am not one to let sleeping dogs lie (or let secret Josh Hartnett sex tapes remain secret), so I am publishing 3 public letters to the entities that I feel can help make my wish a reality.

Letter #1:

Dear Power Greater Than Me,

Thank you for coming close to finally answering my prayers that for once a celebrity sex tape may possibly exist that features someone I actually find attractive. Many seem to be staged leaks featuring people I’m not necessarily interested in watching clothed, let alone doing the dirty; but I think this just may be my moment.

Josh Hartnett may not be my first choice, but he’s in the long list for sure. I will continue to cross my fingers in hopes that one day I will be witness to this promising tape and that it will not be a fantastic disappointment.

Yours always (at least sometimes),

Venus Vegas

Letter #2:

Dear Red Light District,

I have just read that you are offering money for this tape! While I know many of your past celebrity tape acquisitions have been a financial boon, I must admit they left me feeling much to be desired. I lust over many celebrities, yet you keep seeming to find the ones that are on my “no” list.

Exhibit A – Screech

Now, I think we can all agree Zach and A. C. Slater were the real hotties here. Zach not so much any more, but Slater has only gotten better (good bye Z. Cavaricci’s!). Mr. Red Light District, I know you take what you can get, but did you not see the show? Only poor geeky Violet took Screech, and while we all know beneath those big glasses and ill-fitting dresses she was a true gem, I highly doubt she’d stand for a fake dirty sanchez.

Remember Lisa Turtle’s voice of repellent in every episode? I rest my case.

So, to hear that you are trying to get Josh Hartnett’s sex tape is music to my ears and sends tingles to my hoo-ha! Please, please, be nice to him and allow my hungry eyes witness to his raw sex. In a library. Please.

My Faith Is With You,

Venus Vegas

Letter #3:

My Dearest Josh Hartnett,

I’d like to begin by saying that the vision of you keeps me warm on cold nights. For every porn movie I watch that does not star a few certain key males (Tommy Pistol, Manuel Ferrara, or Kurt Lockwood), I envision your face on the mulleted/poorly bleached/bald-headed man.

I am deeply saddened to hear that your most intimate privacy may have been invaded! In a public library no less! However, as with everything that appears bad on the surface, something good can always be brought out of it. This good I speak of, is fulfilling so many female (and male!) fantasies without having to do any more effort on your part. Imagine it! What you thought was a mere night of bliss which would end as soon as you exited into the streets could now turn into financial gains and happy women the world over! You want people to be happy, don’t you, Josh?

Please don’t think that I’m pressuring you. I’m merely trying to open your mind to magnificent mass sexual satisfaction that you could give to women without risking severe mortal exhaustion from physical attempts at this feat. I’m only thinking of your best interest.

I think you know the right decision in this situation (do it.), so I will I close with an earnest plea from a dear friend:

“I emplore you to do this good and noble deed for women everywhere.”

Hoping and praying to see your penis on-screen soon,

Venus Vegas

PS – Should you feel more effort IS necessary, I will gladly make good use of you. I have included a pic to illustrate our potential happiness together.

5 Comments »

This morning’s celebrity sex tape rumor involves one Josh Hartnett. While I’m not really a fan, I welcome the possibility of a celebrity sex tape that would star someone I’ve heard of or have any interest in seeing having the sex. It sounds like Mr. Harnett and an unidentified woman didn’t notice security cameras and put on quite a show for hotel employees.

I am also very excited to hear that the rumored act takes place in a library! Good choice, Mr. Hartnett. Chicks dig dudes who feign interest in great works of literature. Plus, nothing beats being fucked from behind up against the stacks…

Red Light District, the folks that are responsible for my having seen China (Joanie Laurer) take it in the ass, have offered half a million dollars for the right to distribute the tape. I’m guessing it will never come to light because Hartnett probably doesn’t need the money or publicity, unlike the numerous “reality stars” I’ve never heard of who have had tapes “leaked.” Unless he’s trying to prove something…

Like the importance of supporting your local library.

And I know you’re curious, so click here to check out our Celebrity Sex Tapes.

(via AVN)

1 Comment »