I love ‘80s hair metal. It’s just true. I hear a little Poison on the radio and get a little weak at the knees. Bon Jovi starts me sweating and you don’t even wanna know what happens when the Crue comes on! That’s right, Mötley Crüe, the inspiration for this Burning Angel flick named after the group’s 1987 hit. Unfortunately for me there was no hair metal in the actual movie, but on the flip side it was all Girls, Girls, Girls – tattooed, pierced up alt beauties, to be exact, and not a man for miles. The six all girl scenes of the actual movie were pretty decent, with lots of inked girl flesh and plenty of sex toys. I especially enjoyed scene 6, with Joanna Angel and Jenna Haze fucking on a motorcycle. At first I couldn’t figure out why they were on a bike, but it finally make sense when I remembered the video for the song, with the Crüe riding around town on motorcycles. Nice reference ladies. I’m impressed.
While the actual movie was alright, the bonus scenes are what totally did it for me. I LOVED them! The first and the last extra scenes are Joanna Angel fucking super hot tattooed chicks who have never been on video before. Wow. My ultimate favorite is the very last scene, with Joanna giving screen newbie Cadence the time of her life with about a million orgasms. There is nothing whatsoever faked about any of these orgasms – from her full body spasms to her bright red sex flushed face. It was by far one of the hottest orgasms I’ve seen on film in a while. And that’s nothing to sneeze at coming from the mouth of a porn reviewer. Good show Angels, very good show.
J.D and R.J. photo courtesy of drivenbyboredom.com
I got my picture taken with Ron Jeremy. Well, that about sums up my Saturday night.
Haha, yeah right!
While the Porn Librarian and I both breifly mentioned last week that we were having a party, I don’t think either of us gave it justice. Our big brother site HotMovies.com reached it’s 100,000 movie (which inlcudes all of the movies on HMFH) which is a big damn deal, so we had a huge blowout to celebrate our accomplishments. We rented out a massive, three-floor club in Philly (where we are based) and partied hard with an open bar, performances by Peek-A-Boo Revue and America’s most dangerous game show Strip For Pain and rubbed elbows with some of the biggest names in the porno world, including the aforementioned Ron Jeremy, Flower Tucci and Joanna Angel. And yes, I know that this reads like a press release, because I just got it off of the press release.
But not to worry, I planned this party – yeah, that’s why I haven’t been blogging as often the last few months… sorry - so I know everything there is to know about the happenings of this debaucherous affair – both in front of and behind the stage. Now, I can’t tell it all, I wouldn’t want to incriminate anyone (just joking…), but here is a list of my favorite moments of the evening.
So I just got back from Vegas last week where Joanna Angel performed her song “Rock & Roll In My Butthole”, which she wrote for her new movie “Rock & Roll In My Butthole”. Sadly, being the hard, dedicated worker that I am, I fucking missed it! God bless the internets, because apparently she posted this earlier in the month and it totally passed my radar.
Either way, the song is instant classic, stuck in my head, and now forces me to think of butt sex over and over. Seriously, it’s a really cute duet she wrote and performs with princessFrank (from L.A. band Masterslave) that is actually really catchy.
This is quite the little two-in-one. Not only is the movie an alt fuck fest, it’s a Burning Angel tattoo exposé as well. All those times you’ve watched B.A. movies and squinted to get a better look at Joanna’s arm ink while she rubbed her own clit have come full circle! Before each of these tatted beauties gets fucked up and down the screen, they show off their ink for the camera. Then, as their dudes get close to exploding, they each yell out “Cum on my tattoo!” This is kind of kitschy the first two scenes, but by the end you’re like “ok, we get it. You’re coming on tattoos. No need to shout it from the rooftops.” Well, maybe that’s just me. Back to the sex! I was hella impressed with Pinky Lee’s vertical split in scene 3! Not only did it look super cool, it left her nice and exposed for Tommy Pistol to go to town on her pussy with his tongue. And watching Joanna Angel and Kylee Kross’ pile atop each other to get to Ron Rotten’s cock was the perfect way to end this mildly over-the-top, but definitely hot alternative adventure.
1. I love the Burning Angel girls.
2. I love books.
Now that you know a little bit more about me, you can rejoice in my excitement of owning the new photo collection Burning Angel. That’s right, I have 365 pages of beautifully shot tattooed chicks to peruse at my pleasure.
Shot by The Lovely Brenda across NYC, this collection manages to capture both the insane hotness of the Burning Angel girls and a glimpse into alt-porn scene that Joanna Angel has helped build into a wildly successful niche in the adult industry.
I was happy to see all of my favorite girls including Pixie, Dyna, Mayhem, and Angel herself. Kylee’s rooftop shoot is sparse, but this girl needs nothing more than a bottle of water and skateboard to get my heart racing.
For Burning Angel fans, this book is a must have. For those of you who have yet to be seduced by these punk rock grrls, see what you’ve been missing!
GREAT sex scenes… however, the charm of the pseudo reality show character interviews definately wore off about 20 minutes in. I’m all for reality porn. Real girls, real fucking, real orgasms. I’m not so much into the reality-tv style of production, and if I wanted to see shots of the mojave desert, I’d be watching the discovery channel, thank you much.
That said, any movie with Riley Mason or Charlotte Stokley in it is one that needs to be watched, and this one has both. Riley as Lauren, who Rachel, the angsty virginal closet lesbian (Justine Joli) masturbates to while in another room Lauren is fucking Rachel’s boyfriend Tommy. But that’s ok because when Rachel catches them in bed together later, she and Lauren have an amazingly hot lesbian scene, while Tommy shoots up and overdoses in the garage. Actually, if you’ve ever wished you could watch the cast of the real world fuck, this is the porno for you.
Stokely and Cassie Courtland in a foursome with two punkrock boys. Poolside sex with Veronica Jett. Leah Luv (BRACES!!) on the couch with a santa hat. Nowhere Angels is 25% filler and 75% amazing sex scenes, but definately worth watching. -Stoya
As I perused the videos nominated for the 2007 AVN awards, I came across “Joanna’s Angels 2 – Alt Throttle”. This spoof of Charlie’s Angels had everything I enjoy in a porn movie; hot girls with piercing, tattoos and fun hair colors, an attempt at an amusing plot, a good sound track (with music from none other than Rancid), and of course, lots and lots of sex. At first, I was thrown a little by the ditziness portrayed by the Angels, but as I thought back to the original, I remember how well they were parodying the antics of the first Angels. The scenes in the oval office (both those with and without the interns) were amusing, as was the curing of the president’s baby after she had been brain washed. Also enjoyable was the motor cycle chase, complete with stunts by Tommy Pistol. Best of all, none of the stars took themselves too seriously, which made it a really awesome and fun to watch movie. While certainly not a Hollywood blockbuster, this film was a treat to watch, and warmed the cockles of this little Alt. Girl’s heart. -Essin’ Em
Owner and founder of Burning Angel Entertainment, Joanna Angel does it all – writes, produces, directs, models and acts (dirty sexy acting!) – and has big handful of AVN nominations and awards to prove it. A small girl, she packs a big punch and has done for porn what those of us who want something other than your typical porn stars have been waiting years for. Her site is filled with the “sexiest bad-assed bitches on the planet” (I was going to put that in my own words, but really, she says it best)… and she’s also got some cute guys in her movies too (to name a couple – James Deen and Tommy Pistol… if only he were in more movies!).
If you’re into horror, Burning Angel’s spoof on H.P. Lovecrafts’s Re-Animator from the 1980s, Re-Penetrator, is a definite must-see. Silly acting, ravaging sex, blood spitting, and the most gruesome ending to a porno that you’ve ever seen (and I’m not talking anal cum drinking… but if you’re into that, nothing wrong with it either!). Joanna Angel is definitely the hottest writing, producing, directing, modeling, acting zombie ever.
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