Tag Archives: Brandi Love

The Authentic Lesbian Review: Porn Stars Are Athletes Too

In the early 2000s, or what I like to refer to as the Bring It On era, I found myself engaged in a debate over whether cheerleaders were athletes or not. Before then I had never given much thought to questioning if they were or weren’t, I thought it was obvious they were, and now I’m faced with the same question in regards to porn stars. With all the madness that comes along with March and our annual PornTourn competition, we decided to attack the question head on.

What Is an Athlete?

Webster defines the word athlete as “a person who is trained or skilled in exercises, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina.” The key words in that definition are “trained” and “skilled.” Anyone can go out and shoot hoops, but the training and skill levels are what separate athletes from everybody else.  This is where I think we forget about porn stars. On any given night, you can see a video clip of Stephen Curry or James Harden working on their handles in a gym for hours. Turn on NFL Network and you’ll get a glimpse of the next big college prospect bench pressing two times their body weight and talking about the off-field work that we viewers rarely get to see. What we aren’t privy to is all the work porn stars put in behind the scene. Think about it, we never get to see Prince Yahshua’s push up routine before flipping chicks over with his dick still inside, or watch the beautifully buff women of Iron Belles during a regular gym workout that doesn’t involve face smothering some skinny chump (I say that with all the love in my heart). Some might argue that with porn stars nobody wants to witness the unsexy hard work that they put into their bodies, but I live for behind the scenes footage so that reasoning doesn’t work. Others might admit to a similarity here or there but deny that porn stars are on the same athletic level as semi-pro and pro athletes. I’d argue they’re wrong.

High Level Consistency

Nobody wants to be the guy that only wins the championship once. That’s like only serving one term as President. I mean, yay, accomplishment, but winning and being great is about consistency and what goes into maintaining it. You can’t mention the word consistent in porn circles without then mentioning Nina Hartley. Look at that figure! You don’t get a body like that just having great sex, although I’m sure it helps. But diet and routine (along with genetics) get the credit per Nina, and that alone is more than some of us can handle. Trying not to eat bacon three times a day is struggle enough for me. But believe it or not, Nina Hartley isn’t the type to hit the gym regularly for vigorous cardio and she isn’t the only one. In a recent interview with Misty Stone I learned she doesn’t go out of her way to maintain her beautiful figure either. A balanced diet, amazing hygiene before and after shoots, and a little luck gets the credit per Misty.

Just like in sports, the same routine, or lack of one, can’t be applied across the board to obtain success. Because something works for one doesn’t mean it will work for others, and what comes easy for some won’t come easy for others. Tasha Reign gave OC Weekly the inside scoop on her pre-porn rituals and after letting the guys know it’s not as sexy as the fantasy she ultimately produces, she goes straight into how she cares for her body. It’s no secret that sex is one of the best (and usually free) workouts around, but some of the positions porn stars put themselves into goes way above what us amateurs try nightly. To keep up with the demand, Tasha keeps a group Pilates or yoga class on her schedule, maintains a vegetarian diet, and makes sure to get at least eight hours of sleep at night (sounds like the Tom Brady way of life). In 2010 Asa Akira admitted to Cosmopolitan that if she could, she’d work out every day of the week, but since scheduling would never allow that, she settles for a few days a week of boot camp training (which is insanely intense!) supplemented with yoga, and lots of dressing-free salads. Similarly, Jesse Andrews participates in boot camp training and hiking while throwing in fun physical activities like bowling and dodgeball and keeping a healthy diet free of bread, milk, and my personal favorite, McDonald’s. She juices a lot, and tries to eat kale at least once a day all in the name of adult entertainment. I thought I was doing something by making everything in my Starbucks order “skinny,” but these stars blow me out of the water.

I noticed that almost every performer I came across participated in some form of a physical stretching exercise like Pilates, yoga, or tai chi. When I was little my father put me in ballet classes, which was torture because I was not a girly girl and hated everything pink. When I begged and cried for him to take me out he explained his reasoning. Ballet would provide a foundation of footwork that I could take and build from to further better my overall basketball game. Once I heard and understood that, you couldn’t get me to skip a ballet class. I wanted to be the greatest basketball player to ever play for Pat Summit down in Tennessee and if ballet was going to help get me there I’d sleep in my tutu (ballet, you totally dropped the ball here). Because of the rigorous activity porn stars’ bodies must go through daily I think the boot camp, yoga, and Pilates become extremely important and necessary for some. Think about the positions they put themselves into and it’ll all make sense.

While Dana DeArmond doesn’t have to do much to keep herself looking fit, she did admit that foot worship scenes are very close to a core workout for her because while giving a footjob you must keep your middle balanced while stroking with your legs. Chanel Preston, who stays away from too much cardio for fear of being too skinny, talks about how much of a workout wearing a strap-on is, and I for one appreciate the hell out of that. Pelvic thrusting is one of my absolute favorite things to do, but squatting is one of my least favorite things to do, and fucking a chick with a strap is nothing if not squat class 101 (102 for us overachievers). And just about every female porn star ever asked about working out talked about posing, modeling, and lugging around a lot of shit, which got my wheels spinning…

Porn stars, like cheerleaders and gymnasts fall into the category of having to look good while putting their athleticism on display. The most I worried about when it came to appearance was if my sneakers and head band matched, and I bet Sam Cassell and Tyrone Hill can say the same thing. Appearing attractive while performing isn’t something many athletes have to think about. Adult performers, however, have it at the top of their morning list and are responsible for bringing their own wardrobe to set, which can consist of everything from 3 different outfits and 2 pair of heels to match, to that plus a suitcase filled with whips, chains, and a strap-on, which are heavier than they look. In pro sports, you don’t have to bring your own equipment and in college sports a lot of that is taken away, especially for stars. You’ll never see coach K showing up to a tourney game with a bag of balls for shoot around just like you’ll never see Usain Bolt cleaning up the track after a hard rain. Porn stars are expected to travel with most of their own shit though (if you’ve ever traveled with a woman you know the horror this could be), twist and conform their bodies into positions we’re too scared to do more than fantasize about, appear attractive to a wide audience, and look like they’re enjoying it. Imagine that was in the work contract you signed! I would be screwed. Sure Tina Thompson, the 1st overall pick in WNBA history, took it upon herself to wear red MAC Diva lipstick during every game, but that was more about luck and later in her career making a statement about women who play professional sports. For porn stars, something as simple as red lipstick, and looking good wearing it while sucking dick, is often a job requirement, and after viewing a million photos of yourself naked, keeping a positive body image and attitude can’t be the easiest thing in the world.

Siouxsie Q, who performs in a lot of hardcore BDSM titles, wrote an article for SF Weekly this year in which she talks about getting back into the adult industry and preparing for a shoot with everyone’s favorite queer, Andre Shakti. “Although I’ve missed getting paid to have sex with hot people, the epic hair and makeup, and the silly costumes and dialogue, the main thing I’ve missed about the adult film is the athletic lifestyle. When I was performing full time, I devoted much of my week to yoga, weight training, cardio, and a strict diet, but now that my life is more about policy papers and political action committees, there’s not much time for crafting my porn star bod. To get ready to be naked in front of the camera again, I’ve had to convince myself that I’m living in a training sequence from an inspirational sports movie from the 80s. This involves a great deal of hard-boiled eggs and running around my neighborhood at 7 a.m. in a waist-training corset. It’s not easy or glamorous, but neither is being a porn star.” Can you imagine that shit!? Siouxsie was only out of the game for about a year, and even though she’s heavy into BDSM, 7am runs in a waist corset!? That’s serious dedication right there, but I think my favorite part is that she actually missed the athletic lifestyle. The game is won in practice and conditioning, and athletes expected to perform with high consistency know this. Porn stars are no exception and Siouxsie Q’s example of commitment to preparation illustrates this perfectly. Not only is working out and eating healthy a constant, but upkeep like shaving, makeup, and all that jazz have to be top priorities too. With all the work adult entertainers put into their craft they deserve to be paid and acknowledged for it. This brings me to my next point…

NCXXX

For the most part professional athletes are paid very handsomely for their talents and the work that goes into them. Hell, some are paid way too much (Brock Osweiler, Kwame Brown, Andy Dalton) just because of the promise that they might be great, but when it comes to porn stars, they get the NCAA treatment regardless if they’re pro , semi-pro, or amateur playing in the d-league. The only thing missing is the outward appreciation college athletes get. Look at Rico Strong up there. He wasn’t born with those muscles, and even the fellas have to take a little time to appreciate the physique. Nobody wants to watch Fat Bastard (or Mike Myers for that matter) bang anything, no matter how hot she is, but do you think any of that turned into dollar signs for Rico? Despite all that bad ass ink I’m going to bet that answer is no, and that’s a shame. Male porn stars are pretty much only there to provide the dick in straight flicks, and on the surface that’s all they’re really good for. But there’s a lot that goes into the upkeep of that dick and the body it’s attached to.

Take the beloved Johnny Sins for example. To start his daily routine, Johnny stretches with a few kick backs and pushups before attacking those abs we all know and love with 12 reps of dead lifts, 24 reps of bicycles, and 12 reps of squat jump tuck. In fact, his routine and physique gained so much recognition that he started instructing in and selling workout videos (seriously, look at his YouTube page). And that’s on top of his whole grain diet in which he stays away from microwaves and eats every two to three hours to keep his metabolism going. That seems like a lot for someone who is essentially a prop on set who just needs to keep it hard for hours and then cum when he’s told. You’d think there would at least be some type of handshake or pat on the back when it’s all said and done since this is the guy who banged the hot babe while lifting her over his head, which just happens to be your favorite position to fantasize about and makes you cum every single time, but nope! The dude is responsible for maintaining a certain look, keeping his junk up for an insane amount of time (diet plays a factor here), busting a nut on cue, lifting chicks with big asses and even bigger titties (weight lifting, ugh), and nobody buys his jersey or shakes his hand. Plus his check is smaller than his female co-stars every single time, and if you’re a minority it’s even less! If it wasn’t for the sex I don’t think guys would even show up, and I can’t blame them.

Speaking of all the sex that makes it so worth it, James Deen talked to GQ back in 2013 and shed light on just how much of a workout it is. “In the film world, people don’t realize you’re not just having sex. Sex on camera can be anywhere from 20 minutes to four hours. It all depends on the production and type of scene. It’s also not just standard sex like, ‘let’s just make each other’s bodies feel good,’ its physical entertainment style sex.” That doesn’t sound as great as it looks especially the stop and go of it all, and it really makes you think about how much work goes in to sex for entertainment. The performer is responsible for making sure we have a good time, and while it falls on everyone in the scene, men in straight movies bear that burden, although they often go unappreciated (straight women who enjoy porn feel this pain too). I can’t imagine someone stopping me in the middle of a good time with Kira Noir to pose for the camera and after it’s all said and done I don’t even get a “great job Authentic Lezz!” I understand that these guys get to fuck some of the hottest, freakiest, downright irresistible women walking the face of the earth (at least that’s what we think), but employee recognition goes a long way and it’s not like the guys aren’t working hard for it. The way Ryan Madison fucks is nothing less than exhausting and to think he’s stopping and changing angles and actually working in the middle of it all literally is enough to blow my mind. That man puts the energizer bunny to shame!

A Means to an End

Athletics of any kind are encouraged in today’s society more than ever before. Not only does being athletic promote a healthy lifestyle, but team activities teach us how to depend on each other, work together, overcome adversity, and succeed as a unit. It helps in the workplace and in one’s social life, but today being athletic and playing a sport has taken on a new and bigger role. That shit pays for college! Higher education has become big business that most of us can’t afford, but we’re constantly told we need it (similar to what’s going on with home buying in today’s economy, but I digress). That piece of paper opens up a world of opportunities and if you can sing, dance, run, jump, or anything else that people are willing to pay to watch you do to get it then by all means GO… unless it’s porn. Enter Belle Knox. Intelligent enough to get accepted into Duke University, Knox began her adult actress career in 2013 to help pay for her $60,000/year tuition. Pornography allowed her to control her schedule so she wouldn’t miss classes but still make enough money to survive, a constant struggle for working college students, while ensuring she wouldn’t be trapped in debt upon graduation. On top of that she entered a profession where she could travel, meet and learn from all types of diverse people, explore her sexuality and body image, something all young women go through, and be subjected to medical testing to ensure her safety, something us non-porn star college kids didn’t do enough. What parent wouldn’t be proud of her as a daughter!?

Despite what, when laid out, many would consider major accomplishments and smart thinking on her part, Belle Knox faced a lot of criticism because of her career choice. Besides being ousted and harassed by the frat boys watching porn in the first place, she lost respect from some of her professors and peers, and had to explain her lifestyle and job to staff. Apparently providing adult entertainment to the masses is not an acceptable way to make a living, although watching it bears no ill judgments from society (that double standard kills me!). Sit back and imagine if the dean of your kid’s school called them into a meeting to explain why they work one place instead of another and then made judgments based on that one thing. I’m telling you now, I’d be happily in prison watching graduation on Twitter Live using a burner phone somebody snuck me because that dean’s face would no longer look the way God intended. For the life of me I will never understand many of the ridiculous stereotypes that follow sex workers, but the one that really grinds my gears is that somehow your preppy snot nosed kid is being negatively influenced or put in danger. Countless porn stars have studied at and walked college campuses before, during, and after their career, and not one of them (to my researched knowledge) has ever harmed anyone. In fact, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to have Brandi Love (Central Michigan), Bree Olsen (Indiana Purdue), Carter Cruise (East Carolina University), Lexington Steele (Syracuse), Stoya (Delaware College of Art & Design), and Joanna Angel (Rutgers) on campus. The experience they have across the board, life lessons they can share, and the immense success they’ve all enjoyed are priceless to anyone they stop and talk to.

It’s time we recognize adult entertainers as professional athletes and give them the credit they deserve. Hopefully you pay for porn, and that’s great because they worked hard to provide you with a quality product you can jizz all over, but it goes beyond that. The way we view and think about porn stars on a day-to-day basis needs to escalate to a level where we begin to consider workouts, diet, make-up, wardrobe, and the expectations we place on them that we wouldn’t be able to meet ourselves, because it really is a lifestyle that they must adhere to on and off camera. It’s bad enough there’s no union, health care, or HR departments stars can rally around on the same level as us office dwellers, so the least we can do is acknowledge everything that they do to make themselves great and us horny.

That’s all for now, but for more from the great mind of the Authentic Lesbian, follow me on Twitter @authenticlezz1 and remember, sex is positive, sex is your friend, and sex can pay the bills!

The Authentic Lesbian Review: The Candidate

Dana Vespoli is a fucking genius! The last flick I watched from Dana also happened to be a Sweethearts Video title called Lefty that I completely went ape shit over (review here), and following up with The Candidate was exactly what I needed. The plot is beyond captivating, nothing new for my fellow Dana fanatics, the acting is so spot on you once again forget you’re watching a porno, something I really value, and, of course, the sex is great. The Candidate is situated in today’s hostile and terrifyingly politically charged good ole U S of A. Sounds incredibly sexy right!?

Scene 1 – Penny Pax & Casey Calvert

When we open, Democratic Senator Jen Hanlon is in position to be the first woman president of the United States of America, and her ad is playing on TV. From the very beginning you’re going to get this parody because Dana wastes no time setting up parallels. Senator Hanlon can’t help but remind one of Hillary Clinton with the sexy swag that only Brandi Love can bring, but before you even see her the message is going to sound very familiar. “The usual liberal bullshit”, which we’re reminded of by Republican Senator Trip Mathis (played by the convincing Alec Knight), as he so gently puts it before rambling about some clip of him shaking an oriental’s hand missing from his own ad. Right away he’s annoying as fuck (his name is Trip for crying out loud!). Well done Mr. Knight!

Also right away, we get a sort of stick-it-to-the-douche-homophobe-Republican-know-it-all-white-dude moment when it becomes obvious that Senator Mathis’ daughter, Penny Pax (yes, her beautiful breasts are also here!) is a lesbian fucking her best friend, Casey Calvert, right under his nose in his own house (reminds me of some fun times). Casey mentions Senator Hanlon’s new and highly effective campaign ad and the two briefly discuss Penny’s pop before clearing their heads and doing the nasty. I haven’t seen Pax’s big bouncy boobs in a while, so when the pair began taking their clothes off I couldn’t wait. I was so anxious that I seriously think my favorite part of the entire scene was when Casey put both of Penny’s tits in her mouth, a challenge I more than welcome, and gave a quick motor boat. I flipped! I really, really like Penny’s boobs…

Anyway, the sex throughout the scene was pretty basic as far as positions go. Casey started off by fondling Penny for a while before eating her asshole out and fingering her to god knows how many orgasms. It’s Penny’s turn, and she flips Casey over returning the favor with a really sloppy head job that is sure to turn on, and a little dirty talk. They 69 which briefly turns into Penny sitting on Casey’s face because the tongue game is that strong, and at one point I thought she was going to have to jump down, but she rode Casey’s face all the way to the bank and cashed in with a huge thank you in the form of fingers and lips. It was crazy hot for a first scene.

Scene 2 – Brandi Love & Julia Ann

Finally we get to meet Senator Hanlon. She’s being interviewed by Dana Vespoli about her recent heroic act where she ran into a burning school building and saved a bunch of kids from horrible fire death. Turns out her instincts just kicked in and her years of volunteer fire work under her fire chief dad more than paid off. Not only did she save lives, but the publicity she’s getting is right on time and to top things off she gets to go home and sleep with Julia Ann…Julia fucking Ann! Have you ever seen Brandi Love and Julia Ann in the same room together, let alone kissing and touching all over each other!? It’s better than paradise and it’s happening! I mean, look at them up there. You can’t tell me that isn’t a sexy overload. The only thing that threw me slightly off was Julia literally rolling into the room in a wheelchair. Dana, the subtleties are not lost on me! Mostly though I wanted to see if Julia would be able to stay in character with Brandi undressing and sucking on every inch of her body. Getting her on the bed was the toughest challenge I saw in the near future, and my dreams of watching it go down were cut short by editing. I get it though…

What I didn’t expect was the level of sensitivity the wheelchair introduced into the scene. Senator Hanlon loves and respects her partner and it’s obvious in the extra care she demonstrates while undressing and caressing her. It’s also apparent through their words. In-between kissing we learn that the two gorgeous women have been together for quite some time and the passion is still incredibly strong in their relationship. There are millions of ways to introduce sensitivity into a movie scene, especially a lesbian plot-based scene, but the wheelchair was different, creative, and effective. As Brandi gently kisses down Julia’s body it’s easy to get lost in this fake-relationship (see what I did there) and forget this isn’t just a love scene in a made-for-TV flick. I always appreciate when a porno takes me out of the normal porno element and makes me forget where I am, and Dana is great at it. The chemistry really makes this scene and watching it was just as fun.

Both of these experienced women know their way around the female body and they’re comfortable in theirs so the sex is going to be exactly what you’ve come to expect from a Sweethearts title. Brandi is super focused on pleasing Julia, paying attention to every little detail, ensuring she hit all the right spots at just the right moment. Since Julia’s legs don’t work, it kind of forces the pair into moments of scissoring that will force you over the edge. The position is pretty sexy itself, throw these two moaning, making sexy time faces, bumping clits with juices running down every which way into the mix and yeah, it’s a good time! There was a slightly awkward mostly chuckle-worthy part where Julia wants to taste the Senator so Brandi kind of rolls her over and she flaps on her stomach. It made me smile.

After all the lovemaking is over shit gets real, typical for a Dana Vespoli flick, with Julia letting the Senator know she thinks it’s time to come out of the closet and there’s no better place to do it than the LGBTQ rally she’s due to speak at. Possible future prez brings up a good point though. Yeah, while it does seem disingenuous to speak at the rally and not come out as a lesbian, she’s been in the public eye for a really long time without revealing that part of her identity and it could be seen as an attention grab. Plus, she’s a woman running for president! We already know how hard that is and that people will still rather see a crazy too-damn-tan-for-his-own-good man with no political background over an experienced and qualified woman, but hey, I just write about porn…

Scene 3 – Brandi Love & Bree Daniels & Uma Jolie

Meanwhile back at the rich boys club, Senator Mathis sends his campaign manager on a hunt for dirt on his competition, and man is it good dirt! Senator Hanlon made a sex tape back in college with two of her sorority sisters and the shit is out! After locating and securely hiding my college tape fun times (I plan to run as Kanye’s VP next go round – anyone can win right?) I was back to being glued to the screen. Senator tight-ass is stressed all the way out while Trip, who I’m waiting on to trip over something at some point in this movie, loves every minute of watching it. It’s a damn good threesome to say the least! Bree Daniels and Uma Jolie are hot as fuck and make the perfect DTF sorority sisters for a young freaky Senator Hanlon.

I love how the sex starts instantly in this scene. Before you know it Bree Daniels’ sexy redhead ass is sitting on Brandi’s face while Uma sucks her off. I always preach of balance is key in threesomes (and life) and without it the experience doesn’t come across as fun and exciting. You don’t have to worry about that this time around. Every woman in this scene is sucked, fucked, fingered, fondled, kissed, and licked to the point of no return and back again. I think Uma got it the best while in the pile-driver position with Bree fingering her pussy non-stop and Brandi working steadily on her clit. By the end of it all I think I was more exhausted than they were…

Scene 4 – Karlie Montana

Senator Hanlon neither confirms nor denies she’s on the sex tape (we all know what that means) but stands firm on her stance about slut shaming and attempts to divert everyone away from consensual adults fucking on tape to matters of poverty and the education system, you know, shit that matters. She even gives the press a “good day” at the end of her speech. Senator Mathis is still eating this up while giving his take on the sex tape, while Hanlon is explaining things to her wifey boo and trying to figure out how to clean up her image.

In what I’m considering a celebratory move, Senator Mathis calls over a friend who I’d put at least 50 bucks on as an escort (rich man’s prostitute) and has himself a nice glass of liquor while watching her masturbate. Solo scenes fascinate me for a variety of reasons but I found myself more than the usual turned on during this one. The music is sexy, Karlie Montana is hot as fuck, the lingerie is even spot on; this scene just sets the perfect mood. Watching Karlie strip-tease and grind her body up against the bed could have lasted for hours as far as I’m concerned. The heels were a little dangerous in my opinion, but still, great scene and great scene placement. That Vespoli is really something man.

Scene 5 – Kira Noir & Lyra Louvel

Holy shit! I haven’t even dried my fingers when in walks Senator Mathis’ daughter to see Senator Hanlon and my jaw hit the floor. I don’t trust it. Either her pop put her up to something or he’s about to get fucked over major by his blood. Turns out Penny agrees that what her father is up to as far as dragging Hanlon through the mud is wrong, and wanted to come to apologize for his actions. She also reveals she’s a lesbian, a Democrat, and voting for the opposition. Trip is in world war 3 and doesn’t even know it! I almost feel bad for the guy. That conversation ends rather pleasantly and I feel pretty confident Penny will figure out the right time and place to talk to her father, if she ever gets home safely. Just as I thought shit seemed to be getting sketchy, Penny is snatched up and turns up dead the next morning. Dana always know how to keep that mood going…

Now Trip is all fucked up, and I’m all fucked up, and the mood is all fucked up. Plus Penny Pax fake-dead is not a fun thing to see. Dana brings it back to focus by letting this story take us into our 5th and final scene featuring my favorite at the moment, Kira Noir, and the lovely Lyra Louvel. Poor Senator Trip is trying to drown his sorrows in alcohol and lady juices, so he invites these two sex divas over to get it on while he watches (does Dana think Trump can’t get it up and that’s why he’s obsessed with beauty and what can be seen, or is that just me?). Again, we’re right into the sex of it all, but not long before the action starts, Senator Mathis gets up and leaves. I get it. I know I’m watching a porno and sex is the main objective here but something about this scene just felt too soon. I know nobody really died, but you get pulled into the story so deeply that help but feel the plot.

Being the professional I am, I pushed through the hard times and found myself incredibly turned on by Kira and Lyra as well as the dark contrasted theme of the scene. Lyra goes down on Kira first, making her squirm and moan, then the favor is returned and Lyra’s bush was cool to see. Everybody is always so manicured these days. Anyway, they trade clit-jobs for a while before scissoring to multiple orgasms (I swear Kira was fucking Lyra no strap necessary at one point!), but my favorite part was (and usually always is) when the hitachi was pulled out. That thing is powerful, and watching women having orgasm after orgasm with their bodies shaking completely out of control is beyond intoxicating, especially when the women are this hot. Even their moans were enough to push me over the edge. The sex was light and playful in this scene and I’m happy I stuck around for it. At one point Lyra is teasing Kira and Kira responds with a huge laugh “you fucking bitch…” Now that’s when you know you’re having a good time and doing it the right way. I wonder if they even noticed Trip bounced way earlier…

So dig this crazy ass drama going on… Senator Mathis’ own campaign manager killed his daughter. He knew the Senator’s daughter was gay and followed her to Senator Hanlon’s hotel room. He probably thought they fucked and wanted to talk to her in an attempt to protect the Senator. Seeing him behind bars was gratifying but I wish somebody punched him in the face before all was said and done. To keep things moving, Hanlon won the election, Mathis congratulated her on inauguration day, and they even had a heart-to-heart about her last conversation with his daughter. My only beef was the way Hanlon came out during her acceptance speech. Something about it felt sneaky to me, like she couldn’t do it unless she was already elected and they couldn’t take it back. That’s more like a personal problem than an actual critique, but it stuck with me during her final words. Don’t you love with a porno makes you think!?

The Candidate is another classic Dana Vespoli and Sweetheart Video can add to their vault of hits. The story is rooted in real life and completely captivating, and the acting drives the whole thing. I was so intrigued by the acting in fact that I reached out to Brandi Love for a quote on what it was like playing a Democrat when she’s so openly and publicly conservative, to which she replied via Twitter “I LOVED the part! Reminded me that there are a number of issues where I’m comfortably left of center.” And it left me with a feeling of hope people. That’s right, porn gave me hope! At the end of the day, it’s up to us regular everyday citizens to let the government know how we feel, and Brandi Love’s acting and role in this movie reminded me that the only responsible way to do that is issue by issue. Alright, I’ll stop preaching, but real shit, check out The Candidate, follow me on Twitter @authenticlezz1, and let me know what you think of porn, politics and Penny’s precious boobs! You stay classy, horny people.

The Top 13 Hottest MILFs In Porn

Mother’s Day is right around the corner folks! With that in mind, I decided to pay homage to some of the sexiest mature women currently working in the adult industry. They might not actually be mothers themselves, but they’re representing MILFs all over the world and proving that age is irrelevant when it comes to sex appeal. Check out some of my favorite MILF performers, in no particular order, below:

  1. Dana VespoliDana Vespoli

Smart and sexy performer/director Dana Vespoli is an undisputed favorite among the women of the HMFH office. Not only does this incredible talent churn out amazing title after amazing title for top studios Evil Angel and Sweetheart Video, but Dana is known for her incredibly fierce performances as well. Whether she’s doing intense anal or a soft girl-girl scene, Dana consistently brings the heat.

2. Cherie DeVilleCherie Deville

Speaking of smart and sexy, you’ve surely heard of Cherie DeVille by now. This bombshell not only has her doctorate degree in physical therapy, she’s a certified pussy-eating aficionado. Cherie may play the sexy, wayward stepmom in a lot of her films, but she’s definitely got a good head on her shoulders and an amazing body to compliment it.

3. Mercedes CarreraMercedes Carrera

With her background as a former aerospace engineer, Mercedes Carrera is another brainy beauty deserving of a place on this list. This multi-ethnic goddess is packing some pretty deadly curves on top of the fact that she’s a porn powerhouse. I mean seriously, have you seen her lesbian scenes? Nothing stops Mercedes from making her partners cum like crazy.

4. Julia AnnJulia Ann

This list wouldn’t be complete without Julia Ann. Julia Ann has quite literally grown up in the adult industry. Starting her career when she was in her early 20s, it’s safe to say this superstar has aged like a fine wine. Julia Ann is not only an insanely gorgeous MILF, but a picture of success and stability in an industry with so many misconceptions about female performers’ career longevity. Julia Ann has won MILF Performer of the Year at almost every awards show for the past 5 years, and with good reason.

5. Brandi LoveBrandi Love

Brandi Love is a complete and utter seductress from every angle. This trim-yet-curvy star plays the line between nurturing and sex kitten perfectly, making her the ultimate MILF performer. If you’re not sure what I mean, check out her scene in A Mother’s Love and pay close attention to how she connects with costar Ryan McLane on both a sensual and quasi-maternal level. Besides the amazing Brandi Love we see onscreen, she’s also an incredible advocate for adult performers who have to juggle their careers on top of parenting.

6. Kendra LustKendra Lust

I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t put the incomparable Kendra Lust on this list. The reigning MILF Performer of the Year literally looks like a living statue of the perfect female form. This hard-bodied hottie is packing T&A for days, not to mention her breathtaking legs! Simply put, Kendra makes 37 look like the best age to be.

7. Jodi WestJodi West

Co-owner of popular studio Forbidden Fruits Films and sizzling sexpot, performer Jodi West is known for her work in taboo and lesbian genres. The 51 year-old babe won the 2016  HotMovies Porn Tournament hands-down with help from her immensely supportive fans. It’s easy to see why porn-lovers continuously praise Jodi’s work; nothing about Jodi is an act. This is a mature woman that truly loves sex and completely owns her coveted place in this competitive industry.

8. Francesca LeFrancesca Le

You’d be hard-pressed to find a MILF that is more enthusiastic about anal sex than Francesca Le. Together with her performer/director husband Mark Wood, Francesca makes up the Le in LeWood Productions. Whether she’s working the camera or fucking in front of it, Francesca knows how to keep a dirty dialogue going. She’s the definition of “freaky” in the sexiest sense of the word imaginable.

9. Ava AddamsAva Addams

Brunette beauty Ava Addams, known for her voluptuous bust and tiny waist, is a favorite of big breast fans everywhere. Not only does Ava have cans every man wishes they could suckle on, but this powerful MILF is as versatile as they come: appearing in lesbian, anal, group sex, and foot fetish films.

10. Nina HartleyNina Hartley

Nina Hartley needs no introduction. This porn legend has been bangin’ in the biz since 1984 and looks just as fine as the day she started. Besides her incredible figure and timeless look, Nina is an intelligent advocate for informed sex education. Her acclaimed series, Nina Hartley’s Guide To…, is designed to inform viewers of a wide array of sexual techniques and improve communication between partners, all from an expert’s point of view. Nina is a true renaissance woman.

11. India SummerIndia Summers

Raven-haired India Summer is an all-natural MILF from the Midwest. What sets India apart from her fellow mature performers is her lack of breast implants, and frankly, I think she looks great without them. India’s athletic look is only accentuated by her natural chest. India’s sultry performances and versatility transcend her from getting cast in MILF-only titles as well: she is a performer that can and does do everything!

12. Ariella FerraraArielle Ferrara

Luscious Latina Ariella Ferrara is a smoking hot MILF that hails from Colombia. With her spectacular cheekbones, curvy figure, and 34DDs, it’s hard to imagine Ariella doing anything BUT being a professional sex symbol, but she worked as a dental hygienist in Chicago before ever considering porn. Always an adventure-seeker, Ariella decided that the adult industry would be a better fit for her lifestyle, and boy was she right!

13. Kelly Madison2016-05-03_13-50-43

Last, but obviously not least is the amazing Kelly Madison. She is an all-natural wonder with 34FF breasts and a figure anyone would kill for. Kelly is not only serious eye-candy, but she owns and operates her own high-quality studios with husband Ryan Madison. This inseparable duo is to thanks for so many great high-definition titles like the Kelly Madison’s World Famous Tits series.

If you liked this list, check out my favorite DILFs in porn! Also, don’t forget to follow me  on Twitter @BridgetXXXXXXX and all of us @hotmoviesforher.

Didn’t like the list? Feel free to sound off in the comments below!