I’m lucky enough to live in the South where we just enjoyed an amazing weekend full of high 60s and sun, but I still feel for my friends stuck in the North who are getting blitzed by storm after storm this winter. We’ve featured a lot of pornos that star beautiful people fucking on gorgeous beaches in the past and I think this is the perfect time for a XXX getaway to a warm and sunny place.

So for all of my friends who are stuck at home and sick of shoveling, a little XXX trip to sunnier places.

Powerboat Sex: If I were making a list of things that beat shoveling, you can bet fucking on a big boat with the sun beating down on me would be right near the top. This Private flick has five hardcore scene featuring beautiful people screwing on the open water.

Men In Pain #13: The best thing about being a ruthless Fem-Dom is that you can do it anywhere. Take these three ladies in this Men in Pain flick. I mean, sure they’ve got dudes to tie up and torture, but there’s no reason they can’t take their work outside and enjoy the day while the day it. The rest of us may be stuck inside thanks to freezing temperatures and icy roads, but at least we can watch someone enjoy nice weather and their work.

Trunks 3: The first thing I need to say is boy am I ready for our Palm Springs trip this April. Secondly, if you can’t visit yourself, you might as well watch perfect men fuck and suck poolside in this California town. I love this Hot House series and Volume 3 is no exception. I highly recommend watching Adriano Marquez and Francesco D’Macho in scene one – you’ll forget all about the snow piling up for a bit I’m sure!

Sex Island: This movie has been on the site since our humble beginnings and I’m super excited to have a reason to feature it because there’s a smokin’ hot beach scene between Evan Stone and Tera Patrick! Two of the decades hottest stars getting it on at a secluded beach – sigh me up!

The Pink Lagoon: This classic from VCX takes us to Hawaii for a XXX romp with Ron Jeremy and Ginger Lynn. This one is a non-stop outdoor fuckfest that finishes on the gorgeous beaches of our 50th state. The only thing hotter than the setting is Ms. Lynn herself!

-The Porn Librarian

In the summertime I end up watching a lot of movies that are shot outdoors. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that I’d rather be outside than cramped in an office, just like the rest of the world! Lucky for me, I at least get to watch hot people fuck on the beach, on boats and in open fields. It sucks to be working on these perfect days, but at least I’m looking at that instead of an invoice or spreadsheet!

The men of Euroboy Sport obviously have less responsibility that the rest of us, which is awesome because now we get to see them suck and fuck on the beach!

The best scene is obviously the second, because there’s a fake lifeguard saves the day scene that includes CPR and a new life saving technique referred to as a BJ for short. Actually, once you get past the attempted plot this one does get hot quickly. Fran Maldonado literally owes Harold Zen his life and rewards him by offering up his tight hole. Not a bad trade in my book…

I also really liked the opening scene between Michael Amerika and Santiago Masur. Both guys are fit and hungry for cock – a nice mix if you’re going to watch people screwing. Watching Masur drill Amerika’s ass from below was really fantastic and if you like that bottom boy I should tell you he gets it from the lifegaurd (Zen) in the last scene!

There’s just something about watching people get buck wild in the great outdoors that does it for me. I typically prefer my men a little more mature, but these twinks definitely have it going on!

Happy Groundhog’s Day!  From what the news said this am, Punxsutawney Phil came out of his burrow on Gobbler’s Knob (best name ever) and saw his shadow, which unfortunately translates to us dealing with six more weeks of winter.  Boooo.

But instead of just glumly keeping my gloves and hat by the front door and my gas bill through the roof, this year I’ve decided to stay warm a little differently… with porn, of course!

So, follow my lead and deal with these extra weeks of frigid wind and snowy conditions by filling your mind with warmer temps, sunny locations, and lots and lots of hot hardcore action!

Thinking warm thoughts!

xoxo

-J.D. Bauchery

Ps.  I know there are other weather predicting groundhogs out there, but Phil is a Pennsylvania staple and he has a Gobbler’s Knob, so really he wins in my book!

Now that Memorial Day is behind us, we can finally start the sunny season off right! And what’s the first thing we think of when the weather warms? Vacation, of course! Especially vacations by the beach. All that lounging on the sand and playing in the waves… what could be better?! Humping, of course! I might not be the biggest fan of actually getting down and dirty on the beach (sand + genitals = ew), but I am more than ok with watching it on the screen. In fact, I downright love it. So to celebrate the heat that is summer and the skimpy bikinis that go with it, here are five beach flicks that do sand and surf just right.

Sex On The Beach: The name says it all really. Nine scenes of sandy sexin’ to get you ready to hit those orgasmic waves. While nothing is super stand out in this flick, I think that’s why I like it so much – it’s well rounded and fun and lets the beach do all the dirty work in making it shine.

Eden: This big budget porno extravaganza mixes the hottest performers, most gorgeous beaches and lots of hardcore XXX to make one of the most exciting and sexy movies out there. Of course, you don’t have to listen to me, but the multiple AVN noms back me up pretty well. Plus, there’s a T-Rex at the end. Seriously. Check out the last 3 mins. I kid you not.

Last Summer Love Part Two: Hard-bodied boys getting busy by the dunes – sounds like the kind of summer lovin’ I’m talkin’ bout! That, and I like the boxcover. I’m just being honest here.

WhoreLore Season 1: Episode 02 – Pirate Booty: While not exactly the kind of beach movie that you’d think of, this fantastical fantasy flick has just as much sand as all the others… as well as an elven princess and all the raunchy fun you can fit into 16 minutes.

Memorial Weekend Wet T&A 1991: Memorial Day weekend is just behind us, but it’s gems like this that help us remember the good times. And who doesn’t love a little ‘90s flashback that includes lots of flashing of its own? Ah, good old dayglo bathing suits.

Surf’s Up!

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery