Alexis Texas

This year, the AVN Awards are all about the parodies – even going as far as to have parody porns get their own category.  And because we are reviewing a few of this year’s nominees (the actual awards are this coming weekend), what better to review than one of the many parodies nominated.  Then, of course, it took a while to figure out which one to review, because there are way more than a few – and we’ve already reviewed a bunch as well.  Finally I decided on This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX.  I mean, honestly, how could I not?  In fact, I was pretty blown away that we hadn’t actually reviewed it yet.

Snapping up six 2012 AVN nominations  (Best Parody – Comedy, Best Screenplay – Parody, Best Actor – Evan Stone, Best Special Effects,  Best Art Direction, and Best Cinematography), this ‘80s movie pornofied features a bevy of household names like Evan Stone, James Deen, Ron Jeremy, Alexis Texas and more.  When you pair that with direction by renowned parody maker Axel Braun, you know you are going to get something good.

Now, it’s been a minute since I watched the original Ghostbusters, but from what I can tell, this dirty version does an excellent job of mixing the authentic awesomeness with lots of naughty action.  And Evan Stone really is fucking hilarious as Bill Murray’s Dr. Peter Venkman.  I guess since Ghostbusters is a pretty famous flick, they really didn’t need to bother with too much back story before starting in on the sexin’.  Within 5 minutes Stone has his giant cock all the way down Lily LaBeau’s creamy throat.  And about 5 minutes after that scene is finished, Alec Knight has his pants around his ankles and is screwing the very dead Alexis Texas, who is a ghostly maiden inhabiting the public library.  I guess that’s one way to catch a ghost, right?

Soon after, we meet Dana Barrett (Raven Alexis) who’s having some trouble with her apartment  being haunted.  Oh, you know, the same old ghostly activity of slinging hot dogs all willy-nilly at Dana and inhabiting a refrigerator and turning it into a tear in space/time/universe.  So, who does Dana call?  That’s right, the Ghostbusters!  *Cue theme music here* And while that’s awesome and all, the one I’ve really been excited to meet shows himself in scene 3 – Slimer!  That’s right, the green guy appears and slimes all over Evan Stone, and then jerks his slimy cock as they zap him into their little ghostly vault.  Very impressive special effects as well (definitely deserving of the nomination).

Ok, back to Dana, who is now Zuul.  “There is no Dana, only Zuul.” (Man, I forgot how much I love that line – hilarious.)  Peter Venkman is super into Dana and finds himself fucking Zuul now. Yum.  Alright, It seems that I’ve veered off into nostalgia and am going all over the place with this review.  You basically need to know three things about this flick to really sum it up:

1. It’s pretty fucking hilarious and if you like the original Ghostbusters and you like porn, you’ll like this.
2. The sex is really seriously hot.  Everyone who fucks is really hot too.
3. This movie basically deserves all the nominations it got.

That’s it.  Now go watch, because it’s amazing and you should definitely see for yourself.

Watch “This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX” Now!

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Sometimes I want to look at beautiful women being sexy just for the sake of being sexy.  Is that so wrong?  If it is, then I don’t want to be right!

Just Tease is made up entirely of girls posing, undressing, bouncing their butts, rubbing oil on their bodies, pouring water on asses, taking bubble baths and a list of other visually appealing activities.  There are times when I don’t need to watch people do it.  I just need hotness and that is exactly what I got.  You can’t always get what you want, but this time I did.  My eyes are happy.

There are oodles of seductive sirens in this nearly 4 hour montage, but Alexis Texas definitely gets a lot of screen time and I’m not complaining about it one bit!  I love watching her, not just because she is so very pretty and possesses an oh-so bite-able ass, but because she really knows how to move and work the camera.  She has a sense of her body and how to move it.  I could watch her for hours.

Sure, this movie was probably a good excuse to do something with all of the B footage that was shot when making a few 100 pornos, but I’ll take it.  If you’re in the mood for sexiness minus fucking-ness, you should give this movie a look-see.

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I recently got into the TV show Scrubs.  I know I’m super late on this one, but I don’t usually get into network shows.  I started watching it on a whim and thought it was pretty damn funny.  This gave way to the Scrubs – A XXX Parody review.

This porno does a good job of hitting all of the key idiosyncrasies of the show.  JD constantly has that inner dialogue going on.  Carla has a big fat attitude.  The janitor consistently gives JD a hard time.  You get the idea here.  I got a few laughs out of it, but you just can’t beat the show.  James Deen plays the part of JD.  (Hey, those are his initials!)  He was a good fit and seemed to capture that clueless charm that makes the character just so gosh darn loveable.

By the way, I’m using the actual names of the characters from the show to avoid confusion.

Everyone gets laid in the XXX version of Scrubs.  Carla and Turk screw in a hospital bed and Jordan and Dr. Cox do it on the desk.  Even the janitor gets his hallway bang on with a hot nurse.  For the big closer, The Todd does the dirty in an unlikely threesome with Elliot and JD.  Yes, this was complete with flame print bandana.

While it was fun to watch the characters I know and love fuck their little hearts out, my favorite scene didn’t have much to do with the main characters at all.  It was a flashback to “When DJ (JD) Goes To Med School” and screws both his hottie girlfriend Joanna Angel and the beautiful Alexis Texas.  There really isn’t any way that you could go wrong with this combination.  This scene could be in any movie and it would be awesome.  This dynamic trio manages to fit lots of oral sex, butt sex as well as good old fashioned sex in the confined nurse’s station setting.  Per usual, Mr. Deen directs and positions the ladies right where he wants them.  Alexis spends a good amount of time under the desk so she is right there and ready to service James as he pleases.  Not to worry, her majestic rear end does come out to play when Joanna Angel burries her face between her cheeks.  James Deen does quite a bit of pleasing as well.  Let’s face it.  The man knows how to eat pussy.  Whenever I see him go down on anyone, it is apparent
that his mouth makes magic happen.

The scene wraps up with a penultimate Angel-Deen anal match up that results in a mouth full of splooge for Miss Texas.  What is the ultimate you ask?  A kissing cum swap between these two lovely ladies.  If this sort of dirt baggery isn’t your style, then Scrubs –  A XXX Parody isn’t for you.

Over all this is a fun movie to watch if you’re into Scrubs.  I didn’t laugh my ass off, but I got a few giggles out of the quirks that they managed to fit in.  The sex is pretty good, although I could have done without the typical porno theme music in the background.  If you’re looking for a good down and dirty threesome scene, I definitely recommend the one I featured in this review.

- Ginger Leigh

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Vivid is one of my go-to studios when I’m looking for hot, mainstream XXX. While my tastes vary greatly, I never get sick of watching gorgeous people fuck and that’s what you’ll get here.

Looks Like Fun is made up of four vignettes that were really well set up – at least for porn. I don’t expect more than a line or two indicating one performer is a plumber, lonely housewife or naughty coed for the most part from most XXX, so I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of effort Paul Thomas put into plot.

My favorite scene was the first but that’s really no surprise since it takes place in a book store! Austin Kincaid tries to pick up a sexy couple (Alexis Texas and Alan Stafford) she sees on the beach, but nothing happens. Later she’s at work when Texas comes in and they make good use of a bench in the back of a store. Stafford eventually stumbles upon them and the two ladies turn their attention his way with Kincaid deep-throating his cock with ease.

Things really heat up when they move to a big green pillow type thing in the middle of the store. Besides lusting after furniture, we get a chance to see Texas plowed from behind while up to her eyeballs in pussy. It’s pretty fantastic. Really, you’ve got three gorgeous people who are having a blast and it’s definitely wank worthy.

It may seem silly, but I love that this is the story of a woman trying to pick up a couple that ends in an amazing threeway. They could have easily gone the lesbians making out when guy comes in and saves the day route.

Just for the record, I am still unable to watch the lovely Adrianna Nicole in action due to the fact that she’s my sister-in-law’s doppelganger. Please check out scene three for yourself!

I really like watching group sex, so I thought this was great. There’s only one b/g scene (Monique Alexander & Voodoo) which is pretty good, but I’m a girl who agrees with people who say “the more, the merrier.” If you’re looking for hetero porn for couples, this is one to consider.

BTW, if any Borders executives are reading this, may I suggest renting out stores at night to Porno companies??

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Last Tuesday we presented our top 2011 AVN Award predictions, where three out of five guesses turned out to be correct!  Now that the awards have come and gone, we wanted to give a little extra love to the winning movies that topped our lists this year!

Our Top Five 2011 AVN Winners!

Batman XXX: A Porn Parody: This awesome parody took the 2011 AVNs by storm and came away with seven wins, including Best Parody-Comedy! Bursting with top-notch stars from start to finish (including Evan Stone, Dale Dabone, Tori Black, Kimberly Kane and more!), this spoof of the original 1960′s Batman totally brings a POW! BANG! and BOOM! to the dirty movie industry.

An Open Invitation: A Real Swinger’s Party In San Francisco: Starting off as a scripted, plot-heavy porno, this flick follows an in-a-rut couple (James Deen and India Summer – who tied for Best Actress for this movie!) as they accidentally stumble into the sexy underbelly of the swingers/open relationship scene in San Francisco. Once the story is nailed as firmly as all of its players (heh), the director switches gears and integrates a real SF swinging party into the mix, with non-porn people and industry pros fucking alongside each other. Of course the entire scenario was something decidedly San Francisco – the sex positive capital of the west. Seriously, there aren’t many places in the world like the city by the bay.

Asa Akira Is Insatiable: Not only is Asa Akira insanely sexy, she rocks the porno screen in this fabulous Elegant Angel movie that nabbed the Best Anal Scene, Best Double Penetration (Akira’s first) and Best Threeway Sex Scene!  Not to shabby at all!

Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Fellatio: It’s true that I have a total soft spot for instructional videos, but even if I didn’t love them, this amazing advanced blow job guide would make this top five round up.  Tristan Taormino can do no wrong, of course, and things get even better as you add Adrianna Nicole, James Deen, Marie Luv, Evan Stone, Satine Phoenix and more!  It’s no shock that this flick went home with the Best Educational Release award.

Buttwoman Vs. Slutwoman: It’s a battle for the history books as Buttwoman, Alexis Texas, and Slutwoman, Kristina Rose duke it out to see who takes the title of hardest core in this three time 2011 AVN winner!  Elegant Angel accepted Best Gonzo Release, Best All-Girl Threeway Sex Scene and Best Group Sex Scene!

Congrats to our big five, and all the winners!

xoxo
-JD

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Mason is one of the first female directors I remember stumbling up and when I heard that she had directed Buttwoman Vs. Slutwoman I figured it would be worth a watch. So what we’ve got here is Alexis Texas Vs. Kristina Rose and really there’s no way anyone can lose when these two gorgeous women square off in an all out fuckfest!

Things start off with a super hot scene where the two titans take on Mark Ashley. Of course, they take plenty of time to warm each other up before going in the house to hunt him down and it really sets the tone for a fantastic flick. I sometimes get a little bored with the EA openings, but this one is really great and once Ashley comes into the picture things don’t slow down. Things get a little rough at points (there’s some choking) but in the context of the scene it only adds to the overall wankability. In the end, Ashley lines the girls up and finishes on their faces.

I also really enjoyed the second scene, an all girl threesome with Asa Akira. This one is even rougher than the first, but there’s so much chemistry and desire apparent that it’s ok in my book. If it’s not your thing, this probably isn’t for you, but it’s really fucking great in my opinion. There’s lots of pussy eating, a bag of toys and by the time the break out the Hitachi I had no idea if any of these women would even have the strength to walk at the end of the scene. It’s not tender lesbo porn, but ladies fucking and who doesn’t want to see that?

While Mason pitted two fantastic porn stars against each other in this one, I have to say I feel like I’m the one who ended up winning. Another great movie from Elegant Angel that I definitely recommend.

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It was all about viewers’ choice this weekend when the 5th F.A.M.E. Awards (Fans of Adult Media & Entertainment) took the stage at eXXXotica L.A.!  While the AVN’s are the Oscars of porn, it’s the F.A.M.E. awards that I think matter the most – I mean who knows what’s really hot in porn better than the fans?  And without further delay, here’s the hotness!

Favorite Female Star: Tori Black (she was fav rookie last year!)
Favorite Male Star: Evan Stone
Cougar of the Year: Lisa Ann
Favorite Oral Star: Sasha Grey
Favorite Anal Star: Jenna Haze
Favorite Breasts: Sunny Leone
Favorite Ass: Alexis Texas
Hottest Body: Teagan Presley (last year’s best ass!)
Dirtiest Girl in Porn: Jenna Haze
Favorite Underrated Star: Lexi Belle
Favorite New Starlet: Lupe Fuentes

Here is a list of the 2010 nominees!

Congrats to all the winners and nominees!

xoxo
-JD

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Studio: Elegant Angel Category: Hetero Couples

The sun is out and I’m already gearing up for summer! While I realize that it’s still a ways away, the thought of beach bbq’s and girls in bikinis keeps me going on all of the rainy days we’ve had lately.

I was pretty happy to see all of these girls showing off their beach bodies, but things really heated up for me in scene three. Alexis Texas, her gorgeous ass, and James Deen put on quite a show. In typical EA fashion, it starts with Texas on her own showing off a bit on the beach and in a bubble bath. Once Deen enters the scene, he quickly goes to work licking her toes and working his way up to her pussy while she rides his face.

Once they get to the old in and out I can’t even describe the awesomeness. Deen is one of my favorite male performers and the couple have great chemistry. They fuck in a number of positions and each is hotter than the next, especially when things start to get a little rough. There’s even a little mutual masturbation – something you just don’t see enough of in b/g movies. All in all, a really hot scene.

The other scene that really stood out was the second featuring Shyla Stylez and Mick Blue. Stylez has a smoking body and Blue was obviously really turned on by all of that T&A. If you’re a fan of anal, he really gives it to her and you can tell she’s just loving it.

If you need a little reminder of all of the sweet summer lovin’ to come, check out Swimsuit Calendar Girls 2!

-The Porn Librarian

Watch Swimsuit Calendar Girls Vol. 2 Now!

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I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can’t deny. That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face, you get sprung…

Yep, Sir Mix-A-Lot pretty much sums it up for me when it comes to what I love about the booty. There is just something about a nice butt that really makes the whole package and lucky for me, there are plenty of porn stars that turn around and rock their perfect asses for the screen. While tons of hot folks shake their moneymakers and get me all riled up, these top five picks are the cream of the crop in my book. You can bet your bottom dollar on that.

Nina Hartley: Sure Nina ends up topping my picks pretty often, but in this instance, I am just following suit. Hartley’s famed bubble butt is a known industry pick as the “Best Ass in the Business.” And who am I to mess with popular opinion?Watch Nina Now

Roman Ragazzi: Who doesn’t love a firm, muscular bottom? Especially if they are hoping to top that bottom… This GAYVN Award winner is tight, strong, hairy and a total looker. And I’m just talking about his ass! No really, Ragazzi is one of the hottest gay boy bottoms that has the hottest gay boy bottom.Watch Roman Now

Alexis Texas: Alexis Texas is Buttwoman. Need I say more?  A Boxcover is worth a thousand words…Watch Alexis Now

Cherokee D’Ass: Her name says it all, really. Known mostly for her booty porn, Cherokee D’Ass totally brings it when it comes to the butt. Plus, we got to interview her!Watch Cherokee Now

Belladonna: Belladonna does not fuck around when it comes to butts. Not only does she have an amazing ass herself, she does not shy away from giving and receiving all she can anally… including some of the most extreme ass action I’ve ever seen. Watch Belladonna Now

We’ve come to the tail end of talkin’ bout the tail end. Enjoy all the fine asses above and everyone else that makes you get sprung.

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

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 Alexis Texas is Buttwoman.  It’s true.  But aside (or asside) from her anal alter-ego, Alexis Texas is also incredibly down to Earth, intelligent, and obviously pretty freaking hot.  PBRPrincess and Eden Fantasys sat down with the star of the 2009 AVN Best All-Sex Release to chat about business, booze and, what else, gettin’ busy!

 For more Alexis Texas, check out her star page and these awesome movies:

xoxo
-J.D. Bauchery

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