I’m not even going to sugar coat this review with an opening – I have mixed feelings about Babeland Remote Vibe Panties. I originally ordered these black satiny undies because I love the idea of slipping the remote controlled vibe into my pants and giving my partner the controller to play out in public.
I’ve played with other remote vibes before and while they were fun, I never knew where to put the vibrator really since they never came with any sort of pouch or anything to hold them. This is where the panties came in. They have a special little pouch on the inside that holds the vibrator exactly where it needs to go, which for me is right by my clit. Perfect, right? Well, of course I had mix feeling here as well.
First, I love love love that Babeland thought to update these panties to have ties on the sides. These ties, which are not too different than bikini bottoms, mean that the panties are adjustable to a range of sizes (they fit up to 65” hips). I always have a major boner for companies that are aware of varieties in size and that celebrate sex positivity at all sizes. Go Babeland. And I could even ignore that the satin felt a little cheesy to me, since I don’t usually wear such frilly underpants, but my main concern is that the vibe kind of makes me look like I’m packing.
Now, I totally don’t have a problem with packing a soft dick, or anything else that you want to make a bulge in your pants, but when it comes to myself, I’m not all that interested in looking like I am packing. I am one of those people that likes to wear tight, skinny jeans, so every detail is amplified, especially if I have a bugle in my panties. While it may be totally fine to anyone else that wants to play with this toy, it didn’t feel so hot to me, which isn’t what I’m hoping for when I plan to get turned on. Maybe it’s because gender expression is so important to me and I want to make sure everyone is presenting how they choose, or maybe I’m just an asshole, but these satiny panties weren’t making my cut.
As for the vibe, well, it worked great when I first popped the batteries in. In fact, it came with an extra set of batteries, for both the vibe and the remote, which I think is super impressive and I appreciate a ton. The first time I played with this egg/bullet-shaped pink vibe, it did exactly what it was supposed to – responding to the remote just so, increasing speeds and giving me a whole host of vibration patterns. This was when I played with it sans panties. Just to see how it worked. But the next time, when I stuck it in the panties, it didn’t want to work anymore.
I don’t know if I just got a defective vibe, but the buttons on the remote aren’t doing anything. They are lighting up the little red light that indicated you are pressing buttons, and telling the vibe to emit a pathetic buzz every few clicks, but other than that, nada. I was wholly disappointed. From what I remember about the vibrations, they were pretty strong and the vibe offered a bunch of pattern options. But really, it’s not like it makes much of a difference now. RIP little vibe, it was nice knowing you for that 5 minutes. At least I can get a new vibe and reuse it with my panties.
