If there is one kind of motorized sex toy I’ve been longing to try for a while, it’s an oscillating toy. Instead of the standard vibrations that most vibrators emit, oscillating toys actually move side to side rapidly to stimulate your bits. Oscillating movements are thought to feel more like the natural movements your fingers make when you manually masturbate (a phrase that always makes me think of stick shifts…). Basically, an oscillating toy feels like you are jerking off with super turbo fingers that move at lightning speed. Sounds awesome, right?

Because oscillating movement sounds like the best thing ever, I jumped at the chance to check out a decently priced oscillating toy, the Intimacy Massager. I’ll be honest, I’ve had my eye on the Eroscillator 2 plus for some time now, but the steep price tag has kept it at a distance. So, I figured that this lower cost oscillating buddy would give me a taste of those tasty oscillations without breaking the bank. But while the Intimacy Massager isn’t a bad toy, the cliché is true – you do get what you pay for.

Built for clitoral stimulation only (which makes sense, as it moves back and forth…), the Intimacy Massager is a medium sized silver massager that comes with 4 bright pink interchangeable heads that snap on to the oscillating motor. Each a different texture, these TPR Silicone (that’s silicone composite, NOT 100% silicone, for all us non-chemistry folks) heads are for getting friendly with your pink bits, while the plastic silver massager makes up the handle.

One of the first things I noticed when opening up the box is that the pink heads are huge! Well, maybe “huge” is an exaggeration, but they are definitely bigger than I thought they would be. To be honest, they seem a little cartoonish, with their large bright pinkness. But, some of the silliest looking sex toys turn out to be the ones I keep within arm’s reach, so I try to overlook a hokey appearance and judge solely on performance. And when it comes down to it, sometimes bigger is better when it comes to sex toys. A bigger detachable head means that it will cover more area… and when you’re talking about covering more area on a clit, that’s an amazingly good thing.

So, I got over my initial visual eyebrow raising, grabbed my water-based lube (even silicone composite materials can react with silicone lube, so play it safe by using water-based lube) and snapped on the first head my fingers grabbed, which turned out to be the spoon shaped head with one flat side and one rounded side. Damn! First obstacle – no batteries. Not only do I hate when toys don’t come with batteries, I loathe when they use triple A batts (though, I will say that I don’t hate them quite as much as watch batteries)! I never have them in the house!

After raiding other toys and the stereo remote control, I was finally ready to shove the batteries in and go to town. Obstacle two – the instructions are totally confusing and the batteries won’t go in correctly, no matter how hard I try. A full 5 minutes later, I finally get it working (you never know how long five minutes is until you are in a horny rage, trying to stick mini batteries into a confusing sex toy).

Now, batteries are in, massager is buzzing (side-to-side, not vibrating) and I am more ready for action than before. Testing the two speeds before introducing the pink head to my pink lady, I decided to head right to the top speed to satisfy my needy bits. The oscillations felt amazing… until I even remotely pressed the head into my clit. Then it stopped. STOPPED!

No!! The motor was too weak to keep the toy going when there was any pressure on it. Even on the lower speed the same thing happened. Sure, the Intimacy Massager worked when it was barely touching a clit, but any pressing it all stops the vibe dead in its tracks. And, of course, I really crave intense pressure on my clit to get off. One might even say that grinding a toy into my bits is what works for me. Either way, this massager just wasn’t up to the special job of taking care of my orgasm. I guess we can’t win em all, right?

So, if you are into soft touches, loud sex toys (yeah, I forgot to mention, it’s a bit noisy), and oscillating movements, this well priced toy might be the perfect addition to your toy box. But if you are a power-lovin’ lady with a rough and tumble clit that wants a lot of yummy pressure, you might want to save your pennies for something with a little more delicious side-by-side, flicking fun!

Get intimate with the Intimacy Massager!

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