The other day I actually overheard someone ask, “well, how do lesbians have sex??” No, seriously. While I stood there, mouth gapping at the shock that someone might not know, I thought about it for a second. I have absolutely no idea how dolphins have sex. Yeah, I know that’s a stretch, but in reality, for some people, it’s pretty much the same. Us dykes are exotic creatures that somehow have “sex” without the innie/outie body parts that are “supposed to” go together. I figure that random lady at the bookstore can’t be the only curious party, so I decided that a how-to was in order. Here you have it: J.D. Bauchery’s Guide to “Dyking Out” (one of my favorite terms).

So, guess what kids, it’s about that time. Personal disclosure time! So, I’m a dyke. A card-carrying lezzie queer. Doesn’t mean I don’t know all sorts of sex, so don’t disregard all my past/future insights. I’m just telling it like it is. So, while girl-girl sex is a complete mystery to some, I on the other hand, am pretty versed on the practices. Pretty versed indeed. Oh, and lets not forget about the whole disclaimer thing. I don’t know it all, I don’t do it all, and I don’t speak for all. Onward to the lady lovin! Oooh, and I’ll include drawings and pictures!

There is a bunch of ways for two (or more) women to have sex with each other. I’m going to cover non-penetrative screwing, oral sex and penetrative fucking with fingers, tongues, toys, etc. Just a few ways to get it on, girl-on-girl style.

Non-Penetrative

Some people call it dry humping, others use the more obscure tribadism or frottage, but it all comes back to fucking without putting something into a mouth, pussy or ass. Non-penetrative sex can include genital touching, genital-genital contact, or neither. Tribadism (or tribbing), frottage and dry humping are all pretty much the same thing: rubbing up against each other, either clothed or naked, and getting off by the clit/vulva stimulation through the friction of rubbing your pussy against someone else’s body.

Also non-penetrative is scissoring (which is sometimes also called tribadism) – two women spreading and interlocking their legs so that their cootches are pressed against and stimulating each other. It looks kind of like two pairs of open scissors, hence the name. This works especially well when both women are already turned on and their genitals are nice and engorged and sensitive. [And a quick off topic note: Ever heard of the electro-pop band the Scissor Sisters? How about the 90's dyke punk band Tribe 8? Yep, this is where these names come from. Neat, huh? I think so. (Thanks Wikipedia!)]

If no genital-genital contact (i.e. fluid exchange), this is a pretty low risk act. And, of course, it can be super intimate and hot because there is lots of body contact! Another great non-penetrative activity is breast and nipple play. Because this is girls touching other girls, they usually pay a good amount of attention to the boobs. Again, because both women have breasts, they most likely know how to treat them right and avoid the “man-handling” that can happen when someone doesn’t own a set and know how they feel. This is just a generalization, but in reality, every woman I’ve ever slept with knew how to treat the ladies just right.

Oral Sex

Cunnilingus, or licking pussy, is a pretty standard lesbian practice. This usually involves licking and sucking the clitoris and labia sometimes fucking the vagina with your tongue. A good way to start when you’re new to pussy licking is to mimic the way that you enjoy having your pussy licked. And based on her reactions, either follow that lead, or try licking a different way. Still not sure? Then start with moving your tongue in small circles against her clit at slow and even pace and adjust to her reactions. But this isn’t a pussy eating how-to, so I’ll keep the specific instructions to a minimum.

Oh, and lets not forget about the good old fashion 69! Same position as with a dick and vagina, 69ing is both women licking each other’s cootches at the same time, forming the shape of the number 69 with their bodies. This is great for getting and giving pleasure in tandem – which can be both a good thing and something really annoying. I find it incredibly hard to concentrate on getting and giving at the same time and prefer to go one at a time. I guess I’m not much of a multi-tasker when it comes to sex.

Penetrative Fucking

When it comes to penetrative sex, fingers are a gooood time. You know why? Because they curl and move around, and if you group a bunch of them together, you can add or take away digits to increase/decrease girth. You can even stick a whole hand’s worth of fingers up a pussy or ass. I know, so many options!

Penetration with fingers gets a thumbs-up in my book because you can go from fucking with them to using them to rub a clit in no time. You can even use one hand for each! The whole porn stars with long fingernails thing is not such a good idea though. Sharp nails can cause tears in the vaginal and anal tissues and also dirt and germs can collect underneath them, which are two things you want to stay out of a pussy or ass!

Now for some hot silicone deep dicking! Some dykes like fucking with dildos (vibrating or non-vibrating). A dildo is a phallic-shaped sex toy usually used for thrusting into a vagina or ass. Created from a variety of materials (silicone, rubber, wood, glass, etc.) dildos come in all shapes, sizes and colors – some that look like real dicks, others that are hot pink and sparkly, and even some that are the Virgin Mary! They can be held and used by hand or strapped into a harness.

A harness
 is a device that attaches a dildo to a person so they can use it for more-traditional penetrative intercourse. Resembling a jock strap or thong, harnesses are usually made of leather, rubber or nylon (though I’ve seen denim and other fabrics – the one pictured has velvet) and worn with the part donning the metal or rubber ring over the pubic bone. The dildo slips through the ring, which is attached to the harness by metal snaps. It ends up basically looking like an erect penis jutting from the pubic area, pretty much like a guys.

Fucking a dildo strapped into a harness
is pretty much just like fucking an actual built-in penis, with a few added benefits. First, you can change the size/girth/shape of the penetrative tool by just unsnapping the dildo and snapping in different one! You can also turn the dildo upside down if the angle/curve isn’t working with your positioning. Try either of those with a real penis!

A dildo/harness combo is really great because it leaves your hands free for touching and grabbing and leveraging yourself for thrusting. I like it because it’s easier to control speed and depth of penetration. Plus I’m hot for screwing with gender and I think that being able to go back and forth between pussy and “dick” is a good time.

Again, these are only a few ways we gals get it on. Not a complete picture, but a basic overview into the world of lezzie lovin’. Congratulations! Now you know what’s-the-what if you ever find yourself in a girl-fucking situation… which I fully endorse. I’m off to research dolphin sex… I suppose if I want you to know how I fuck, it’s only fair for me to learn how they get it on, too.

[insert annoying dolphin squeak here.]

J.D. Bauchery

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