Our lives these days are busier than ever, with work, school, family and all sorts of other responsibilities looming over our heads. While sex is a great stress reliever and escape from all of these things, sometimes our bodies can unwind faster than our heads and we end up getting into sexy action, but still thinking about the electricity bill, or what’s on your to-do list for tomorrow. Staying in the moment during sex means really keeping yourself engaged in what your body is up to – which can help create stronger bonds and even sexier sex. This week we offer up 4 helpful hints to staying present and focused during sex.
Make sure you are connected to your partner before the clothes come off. Sure, it may sound hokey to some, but spending a few minutes snuggling with your partner or looking into their eyes to make sure you feel close to them can mean a world of difference when you are getting busy. Even taking a moment or two to just talk before jumping into the sex might just help reignite the passion.
Utilize your five senses. Sometime it is easy to forget that sex is a full body experience. While we usually have our genitals and mouths involved, it’s easy to overlook all of the delicious smells, tastes, sights, textures and sounds that bodies make. If you find yourself drifting away in thought or distracted by something unrelated, try focusing on one of your senses to bring your head back into the game. A great example of this would be to focus on all the sounds that are happening while you are giving your partner oral sex. Slurping, moans, the sounds of their hands on the sheets, your hands on their thighs – there is so much to hear!
Engage your brains. Sex can be so physical sometimes that we let our minds wander around a bit while our bodies are going at it. To stay present in the moment, try engaging your brain with a little dirty talk or role playing to keep you in the moment. Having you thinking on your toes will keep you grounded and present with what is going on.
Talk to your partner. Keep the lines of communication open within your relationship and let your partner know what’s going on inside your head. Yes, it may be a difficult conversation to have, but they might be able to help ground you when you feel disconnected and distracted. Maybe come up with a code word or phrase that will stop the action and allow you to get re-centered. Interrupting the act may feel awkward, but in the long run, it can help you feel less flighty when you are getting busy later on down the line.