Before I head into my list of tips, I’s like to say two things. First, I love summer. Warm weather is one of my favorite things and as much as I love air conditioned spaces, I actually really enjoy being outside. Second, this is going to be a list of warnings. I totally put “thoughts” in the title to make it sound less of a downer, but in reality, this is going to be a list of what to be careful about while getting busy in the great outdoors. Alright, now that I’ve made it clear that I am not knocking summer or nature, and yo have been warned about my warnings, let’s get to the action.
1) Beach Blanket Bingo. As hot as it sounds to get down and dirty on the warm sand, there is nothing sexy about getting sand in all of your delicate crevices. My two cents on the matter is to steer clear, but if those romantic movies featuring beach sex are getting you all riled up, here are a few suggestions to minimize the occurrence of the dreaded sandy vagina: Try a zippered sleeping bag instead of a beach blanket. It may look a little out of place seaside, but it will keep most of the granules out of your business. Also, a beach is a public place, so any sexy activity is illegal, no matter how secluded you think it is. While we don’t condone anything illegal, we will say that wearing a dress (and keeping it on) is a ton easier than trying to wrangle your sweaty body into sandy clothes if someone (especially a cop) should wander by.
2) Wet and Wild. It’s true that sex and water make a delicious combination. All that weightless fun and fairly hidden humping – what’s not to like. It’s not the water I worry about… it’s what’s IN the water that has me cringing. Water than contains chlorine, salt, or bacteria can all pose risk of infection or irritation when it is forced into the vagina during penetration and thrusting. That basically means all pools, lakes, oceans, rivers and hot tubs can mean risky business for getting down and dirty… um, literally. I’m really not trying to be a Debbie Downer… more like a Realistic Rachel.
3) Sunny Side Up. The two biggest things to remember when you are doing any strenuous activity in the hot summer sun are the two you need to know for sunny sexin’ – water and sunblock! You’ll be doubly sweating with all the sun and sex, so be sure to keep a bottle or two of cold water nearby to stay hydrated while you hump. Bonus is that you can also pour some on each other to stay cool. But that’s only if you get waterproof sunblock! Whether the weather is overcast or the sun is shining down, definitely hit yourself head to toe with sunscreen to keep all of your tender skin safe… if for no other reason than hot having to explain why your ass is lobster red and hurts to much to sit on. Double win with sunblock foreplay and rub it all over each other’s bodies to get in the mood!
4) Bugged By Bugs. Even if you aren’t screwing in the sun, you still need to spray your body down with something before heading out naked into nature. That something is bug spray. While a mosquito bite is not the biggest deal in the world, nobody wants to have a while bunch of silver dollar sized ones on their bare bottom. It’s just true. If you are wandering out to the woods to get your outdoor activity going, be sure to check your whole body for ticks afterwards. Since you’ll have so much skin exposed, there is greater chance of having a (very) little friend latch on for some action of their own. While it may seem like overkill, you definitely want to check as much of your skin as possible, including hairy areas and folds (like where your thighs meet your butt). In this case, it’s much wiser to be safe than sorry.
Just a few thoughts from your friendly neighborhood disappointer. Sorry all, I just want to make sure you are having the safest and most enjoyable sex possible this summer season!