My mom stopped by unexpected the other day and when we went into the kitchen to get a snack, I realized I had three dildos sitting on the drying rack! We both saw them at the same time, turned red and made an excuse to move to another room. I am totally mortified and want to completely ignore that it happened, but I’m also afraid that my mom will get the idea that I am ashamed to own sex toys if I pretend nothing happened. That may seem strange to worry about, but I don’t want her to think that sex toys are a shameful thing to own. What should I do?-Mortified My Myself And Mom
Chicago, IL

Accidentally sharing your sex life with anyone you aren’t expecting to can be an embarrassing situation, especially if it involves your parents in any way, shape or form. While this sounds like an awkward experience for both of you, it really doesn’t have to be something that totally changes your relationship or the way you act around each other. If you aren’t weird about it, she probably won’t be either. And if you don’t bring it up, mom most likely will avoid it as well.

You really are under no obligation to bring this back up with your mother. I can see how you might want to explain to her that you aren’t ashamed by your sex toys, but don’t necessarily assume that that you know how your mom feels about sex related things. Also, don’t be so quick to think that she doesn’t have any idea about or own any sex toys herself.

Most people forget that their parents are people as well. And by people, I mean sexual beings. Remember, in most cases, they had to have sex at least once to have you. I know, it totally disturbs most people to think about their parent’s sex lives, but just because you’ve never talked about it, which is pretty standard in parent-child relationships, doesn’t mean that they aren’t as sex savvy as you.

If you feel like you really need to bring the incident up again for your own peace of mind, you have a few options. You can just go for the quick apology – “sorry for accidentally leaving my toys out and maybe making you uncomfortable.” There is no need to go into a whole dialogue about how toys are a natural thing to own and this and that. She will get the point that you are not ashamed for the fact that you brought it up anyway. Note: This approach really only works if you aren’t acting completely embarrassed and squeamish. Just be totally matter-of-fact about it.

The second way you can handle this is going for the teaching moment. Apologize for the blunder on your part, then breezily ask if she wants to know anything about the toys. You can even say that you just wanted to bring it up again to let her know that you aren’t weird about it or ashamed about having toys. As long as you are nonchalant about it, it will most likely go over totally fine. Note: You need to be ready for her to actually ask questions. If you aren’t prepared to talk about sex toys with your mom, I’d recommend going with a different approach.

Try not to worry too much about the situation in general. Embarrassing things like this happen all the time and from what I know, most people survive them just fine. While it may seem like the worst thing in the world right now, relax, give it a few days and think about it in the grand scheme of things. On the mortification scale, this really isn’t the worst-case scenario. Just think how much more horrified you’d be if she walked in on you using the toys. But, even if she did, you could really use any of these approaches to deal with that situation as well. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

Oh, and nice work taking good care of your toys! Clean toys = happy toys = toys that last!

J.D. Bauchery

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