HotMoviesForHer.com welcomes guest blogger Maxxters to the fray, bringing y’all a look at how porn differs from reality.
Porn is great. I fucking LOVE porn. It helps me orgasm easily when I’m on my own, it’s a fun thing to add in when being sexual with other people, and it gives me new ideas for positions or activities to try. But there’s no doubt that porn has its downside. Yes, some people can get addicted to it, but I’m not going to cover that aspect of it. However, if you’re finding that your porn viewing is negatively affecting your life, then it’s time to get help. What I’m focusing on here is how porn often differs from reality. This isn’t all that big an issue for those of us who are sexually experienced and educated. But for the teens that grow up watching this stuff and never actually learning that this isn’t the way that sex usually is in real life, it can be a pretty huge issue. It can lead to them feeling dysfunctional, not being a good sexual partner, that there are things wrong with their body, that their partner isn’t any good at sex or will have way too high expectations overall. So here are my thoughts on the differences between porn and reality.
The most obvious observation is that women in porn are incredibly sensitive to sexual stimulation. Just one touch sends them into moans, screams, body spasms or orgasm. Unfortunately, this isn’t how most women respond in real life. The average time it takes for a woman to reach orgasm is 30 minutes. This usually requires a variety of different fingering, oral and/or penetrative techniques. Only around 25% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. The vast majority need clitoral stimulation in order to climax. Then there are the women who are actually never able to reach orgasm. Try not to make orgasm the goal of sex. Instead, make it your mission to figure out all the spots on each other’s bodies that can make you go wild. There’s also the issue that many women aren’t that vocal or active in bed as most porn stars. If you want your partner to be more vocal and take a more active role, then talk to them about it!
Another obvious feature is the way that porn stars look. Men are usually big and muscular with very large penises. The average penis size is about 5-5.5 inches long. Men comparing their penis size to the ones they see in porn only increases their chances of feeling insecure and self conscious about their size. This can actually lead to sexual dysfunction and a dissatisfied sex life. Most women in porn are very thin, with big boobs and small inner labias. This not only creates a huge amount of insecurity and body confidence issues in women, but it also gives men unrealistic expectations. Humans come in a variety of shapes and sizes and all have their own unique beauty. So yes, you do need to be attracted to the person you’re being sexual with, but make sure you have realistic expectations and never ever make anyone feel insecure about the way they look.
Porn stars engage in a huge variety of sexual acts. Many people in real life aren’t quite as sexually adventurous and aren’t okay with trying certain things. The pressure on women to have anal sex is steadily increasing. While it can be incredibly enjoyable, some women simply do not want to try it, have had bad experiences with it in the past or just don’t enjoy it at all. No one should ever be pressured into doing something they don’t want to do. So respect your partner’s boundaries and try to find compromises or other acts that you’re both happy to engage in.
Condoms are rarely used in porn. In real life, you need to glove up unless you’ve both been recently tested (and have clean bills of health), are monogamous and are on another form of birth control (unless you’re looking to have kids). If not, you’re putting you and your partner at risk.
Porn doesn’t show the “behind the scenes” stuff, or the awkwardness/silliness that can happen during sex. Rarely do you see them grab some lube for when the girl isn’t getting wet enough on her own. You also don’t see just how much lube is needed to have enjoyable anal sex. It’s unbelievably common for men to have issues with getting hard, but rarely, if ever, will you see that in porn. Same with premature ejaculation or even not being able to reach orgasm. You never see them having to deal with what happens to the semen after the guy has cum. Whether he does it onto her body or inside her, it needs to be cleaned up somehow! You’ll never see them grabbing the baby wipes or running to the bathroom to avoid making a mess. Embarrassing noises and movements happen, the penis slips out of the vagina, and other unintentional things will happen. It’s all just a part of sex.
Sex is all about having fun, feeling great, and not taking things too seriously. Communicate with your partner about your expectations and help each other out so that you can make sex as fantastic as possible. You just need to keep everything in perspective and have a good idea of the differences between porn and reality.
Maxxters is a female in her late 20s and a former high school teacher. She taught Science and Sex Ed to 12-18 year olds. She’s currently working on her Master’s degree in Human Sexuality. She is also an aerobics instructor and personal trainer, working with those who suffer from eating disorders and body image issues.
