Dylan Does AVN/AEE – Inside The AVN Awards, Report 4

Dylan Does The 2010 AVN Awards

I can’t decide whether I want to throw up on my shoes or sprout wings and fly… Jiz Lee, Courtney Trouble and I are running past the front entrance of the Palms Hotel and Casino, exactly three minutes late for the red carpet and the excitement is palpable. Tonight is such a big night and we have spent the last two hours gearing up for our shining moment. I’m wearing a sculptural black strapless mini dress and 6 inch heels, Jiz is in pinstripe pants and chaps and Courtney is looking fierce in a black striped dress with a gold bolero jacket and perfect make-up. And we match. Black and gold, all. Black because we are artists and gold because we are fucking stars. And yes, it’s worth cussing about because life at this moment is very, very good.

We make it to the line up inside a side room at The Palms and breathe a deep sigh of relief. In line is April Flores, looking outrageous in a pink latex confection. She hands me a bottle of snapple mixed with vodka and bless her, I take a swig to soothe my nerves. We made it – in more ways than one; to the venue, to the AVNs and to points in our careers that we each never fully allowed ourselves to dream of. When I did my first scene five years ago, I was just exploring a side of my sexuality and identity that was performative. I had no idea if people would like it. When Courtney started, she just wanted to make authentic and hot queer porn. And Jiz? Well she is just a badass, I guess we all are, we all have been and being here feels like a surreal moment of being cognizant of that.

Dlyan Ryan, Courtney Trouble, Jiz Lee, April Flores and Carlos Batts rock the red carpet at AVN!

In line, we are surrounded by other badasses. Joanna Angel and the Burning Angel crew are right behind us looking tattooed, fierce and sexy. Jenna Haze passes us in line and Belladonna and Bobbi Starr soon do the same. Up ahead is the press junket, a long line of camera flashbulbs and correspondents with microphones firing questions. We walk and pose, walk and pose and Jiz and Courtney flank me, two of the sexiest “shortys” I have ever had the pleasure of posing next to. This year the red carpet is running much more smoothly than years past, no one is fighting, a few attitudes are thrown around but hey, this is porn after all and attitudes often inform conceptualizations of sex appeal.

In addition to the quick walk, the lovely set-up and the different location, this year the AVNs have added a “Twitter Pit,” a group of Twitterers brought together for the sole purpose of tweeting about the event and hopefully getting it to trend on Twitter. In the pit are some of our queer porn loving buddies and high on the energy of the red carpet, we decide to pull a little stunt. Well, not so little actually; it is Jiz Lee’s strapped Outlaw cock and she unbuckles her chaps and I whip it out as we all pose for a few more pictures, introducing the AVN world and cyberspace to just how the Queer Porn Mafia does things.

Queer Porn Mafia Strikes The Twitter Pit At AVN!(Photo via the fabulous AAG)

We are able to keep our fun going outside as well because another new feature of the red carpet is the fan strip that winds outside the main building and back inside to the theater in order to give the fans some face time. To me, this part was even better than the paparazzi portion. The fans are so pumped to see everyone and nearly all of them have a camera phone or disposable camera out to capture the moment. Our cohort of five which includes the talented and very kind Carlos Batts, is hamming it up and I am mesmerized by everything from the screaming fans to the shiny leopard print pants of the luscious-bottomed woman in front of me. By the time we reach the holding area, where we wait for 45 mins for the awards hall to open, I am in need of a deep breath and something to drink.

The holding area is another world entirely, blanketed in walls of silver streamers, floors shaking with the force of the hip hop the dj is spinning from the platform in the back. To write about it is to get name-droppy because there are literally tens of porn stars wandering about. Manuel Ferrara buys me a drink and Dana DeArmond expresses her affection for Courtney and I just kind of stand there giggling like a ninny. Sometimes my life is so surreal that it borders on ridiculous. Eventually we funnel into the theater and I pause to take in the beautiful set-up. The Palms Theater is much smaller than last year’s Mandalay Bay venue and I prefer it. The stage is closer, the floor smaller and the whole gathering feels more intimate and inclusive.

Jiz Lee and Dylan Ryan at the AVNs

Jiz and I manage to sneak seats in the section with Good Releasing and convince Wolf Hudson, one of my favorite guys, to come down from his section to sit with us too. The awards move along at a quick clip once they begin and the comedian pseudo-hosting the event with Kirsten Price and Kayden Kross; Dave Attell, is hilarious. His offensive jokes are the kind that you feel terrible about laughing at but laugh in spite of yourself. When he riffs on audience members, the whole place erupts. Jokes are always great for breaking initial nervous tension but I, for one, am still a bit jittery. I don’t remember from previous experience all the awards they actually announce. There are so many categories, they only present a tiny fraction but I’m interested to see which ones. As the opening credits play what do I see but SCENES FROM CHAMPION. Holy geez. Jiz, Courtney and I all start hollering and it feels like victory.

I will spare you from the actual details of each category and win; Sasha Grey rocked it out with three wins, including a nod for her Jenna Jameson Crossover Star of the Year award and the lovely and deserving Kimberly Kane won Best Actress. We, however, did not win anything and each of our awards were not in the portion that got announced. I slowly came to realize what I think I already knew… it seems the studios with the bucks and the advertising dollars get the actual award nods. Which makes sense, but I think still I harbored little nuggets of hope that queer porn slivers would slice through with their sheer awesomeness.

The awards were about three and a half hours long. Much longer than they needed to be but still very entertaining and full of high moments like Belladonna’s dance number, choreographed by John Stagliano. The costumes were g-string over white lycra dance pants. Hoy. So hot. It was also fun to see all the dresses and notice that the male porn star dress code appears to be the un-tucked shirt, which I found fascinating.

And as our eyes began to droop and April Flores and I planned the meal we would need to quell our hunger directly post-show, we got our flash moment revive us. The AVN Awards had awarded us Most Outrageous Red Carpet Moment! Amazing. I felt momentarily revived and filled with a bit more hope. This year, nominations, next year, awards! At the risk of being cliché, I thought to myself, Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will the Queer Porn Empire. We have been constructing our work and making names for many many years and the journey will continue. I think I speak for all of us at this year’s awards when I express our gratitude and appreciation for the nominations. And the appreciation I personally felt after the ceremony when we found an all night diner in The Palms.

As we ate our burgers and Jiz got her Hawaiian eggs (intriguing, I know), we made plans for the rest of the night. With so many parties, where did we end up? That, my friends, is a story and then some, a tale for another time and one the Queer Porn Mafia have made a vow to never tell (though if you follow us on twitter you may see hints about it) and will take away with us along with all the other brilliant moments of the AVNs 2010. See you next year.

– Dylan Ryan

Dylan Ryan (and her guy Trucker)

Dylan Ryan is the femme fatale of your dreams.  Dealing in high heels and high IQs, this brainy beauty gets you hot and bothered as soon as she hits the screen, then grabs the reigns as a social work student fighting for sex workers’ rights.  How freakin’ sexy is that?!  Part of the San Francisco porn posse, Dylan makes some of the most exciting and engaging queer porn out there!

One thought on “Dylan Does AVN/AEE – Inside The AVN Awards, Report 4”

  1. Thanks for posting and tweeting. It felt like I was there, minus the lack of sleep, sore feet, annoying people, etc. Meaning, I felt I got all the good stuff : )

    Congrats on your nomination, that’s the real recognition.

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