I once dated a guy who said the craziest things in bed. I’m all for dirty talk – I hate it when my partner is quiet in bed – but he said things that made no sense, and it wasn’t even in the throes of passion. One night, things were starting to heat up (but nothing was really happening, just some kissing and touching) and he says, “I like when you show me how much you like it.” Um, what? I wasn’t showing anything. We just started kissing! It took everything inside of me not to laugh – or leave. Believe me, that line is still a favorite inside joke among my girlfriends and I.
While I was indulging my secret love for Yahoo! Shine, I found a link to an article on Frisky. The article was written by a girl who found something she was really turned-off by in a guy’s Facebook profile she’d been seeing! Facebook! Shit, I update my Facebook profile weekly solely because I’m a sucker for attention. Anyway, it really got me thinking about dealbreakers. I’m not just talking about sexual dealbreakers like someone who puts their nose on your clit like a dog pushing a bone (yep, had that too), but I mean relationship dealbreakers as well. I mean, there have been entire TV shows based upon dealbreakers – MTV’s NeXt anyone?
I know you have to look past certain things about another person, and believe me I do. However, I sincerely believe that everyone has that one thing (or things) that if/when they come up, you have to stop and say, “Okay, that’s it – I’m out.” Me personally? I don’t like a funky sac, I don’t deal well with bad spellers or those who confuse “your” and “you’re” and if our first date consists of a trip to any drive-thru – it’s a sure bet it’s going to be our last date.
So what are your dealbreakers? I’ll include a heinous story to get your mind rolling after the jump.
While writing this, I asked around about dealbreakers and here’s a good one:
“So this guy and girl are having sex for the first time and it’s going really well. All of a sudden, the girl reaches over to the bedside table and grabs the phone. She wraps the cord around his neck and says, “The phone’s for you.” He pushed her off of him and left and they never talked again.”
Sorry, wrong number.
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