Public Service Poster via Rogue Valley IMC

I’m going to take a break from my usual frustrations trying to find a mate in the male half of the species in order to take a closer look at attempting to be safe when finding dates online. In a lot of ways dating online is no more risky or less so than dating in real life, the person you met in the bar the other night can be every bit as sketchy as the one you met online. But with the recent news from AVN.com about the Cleveland Rapist/Killer having an account on alternative dating site, Alt.com, coupled with the previous Craigslist Killer, I’m sure we all remember too well, it never hurts to go over the basic safety tips one more time.

Google them! I’m putting this one first because it is the easiest fasted least stalker-tastic way of checking up on your date. A quick Google search of their screen name, email address and/or real name if you have it is a great way to see if they’ve been in the news or maybe if they have any special interests you’d like to be appraised of, like having an diaper fetish.

Let people know where you are going, how long you’ll be there , who you’re going with and when you think you’ll be going home and have them ready to call you at that time to check up. Do. Not. Forget. This. Step. EVER. If things are going well you can always give your friends a heads up ahead of time that you’re about to be very ‘occupied’ when the fateful hour roles around but if things go wrong you’re going to need someone you can trust ready to start dialing the cops, your mother and the marines if necessary. This is something you should try to be really consistent about, so that your friends will easily be able to spot when something is wrong and can take swift action versus when you’re being flighty and forgot to check in again.

Know where you’re going and how to get the hell out of there if things go bad. Never go to a place where you’ll be, or even feel, stranded. I’m a city girl, so I don’t have a car but when I started online dating it was mid-summer and everyone seemingly wanted to ‘take me’ to the beach. No way was I going. I love the beach and I love hiking in the woods and I love picnics in secluded meadows (ok, not the picnics, I’m allergic to everything and tend to have random bug freakouts) but a first date is no time to be completely dependent on someone for transportation. Getting into someone else’s vehicle is always a risky endeavor, you give up the ability to just get up and walk away and you give up any protection that a crowded area might offer as well; no matter where they said they were taking you, you’re shit out of luck if you don’t actually get there.

Keep your cellphone on you and keep it on. Set it to buzz or silent if you’re worried about ruining the mood but you never know when you might need it.

Do not ever take your eyes off of your drink. Thanks to my mother who likes to over share, I know for a fact that roofies are a real danger so if you’ve got a pressing urge to run to the bathroom finish your drink first.

Trusting your gut is something I’m a big fan of and am rarely confident enough to actually do. If you’re not feeling absolutely great about the person sitting in front of you or something seems off, don’t hesitate to call things off early and head home.

Finally, and this might just be me being super paranoid, always have your own protection plan. Pepper spray, brass knuckles, taser, fists of fury or some other form of self defense training whatever you feel comfortable with that isn’t illegal in your state/county/town. I’d rather have these babies and never have a cause to use them than need them desperately and not have access to them at the time.

Ok, that’s all the paranoia I’ve got to dish out for one night. And if I’ve made you really nervous about starting out with a one on one meet up you can always try a more casual group date thing and bring a few friends along!

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