At least once a week there’s a porn title that cracks me up. Sometimes it’s so bad it’s good and other times I’m just astounded by the fact that a company has time to release 47 movies a week and come up with awesome titles! I admittedly judge XXX books by their covers all the time, so a ridiculous name can really make or break a movie for this girl. Maybe I’ve never heard of your studio before, but if you can wow me with a clever porno take on a classic book title, I’ll give your movie a shot.

While this could have easily been a Top 500 Tuesday, here are my five favorites. Let me know what you think I missed, because I’m sure I left out something good!

p.s. The next time you’re thinking about just throwing a XXX on the end of your next spoof porn studio, please consider that a clever title could get you on my next list!

Pop Up Slutty Ho Volume 2 – Jenny ‘The Jonesin’ Crack Ho Clown Cooking Show: I’ve been at this for 5 years now and I still haven’t found a movie that tops one I picked up in my first month on the job. Not only is this title absolutely insane, it’s also like the longest title on face of the earth. My thesis title wasn’t even close to this long and you know I had to get all fancy on that shit. While I can’t even pretend to recommend this movie as something to jerk off to, it is totally bananas and if you like bizarro shit, this crazy lady is totally for you. Also, I won’t judge you if you wank off to it. Just thought i’d throw that out there…

You Win Some… You Threesome : This one is a new addition to the site and the inspiration for this week’s T5T. It’s not really funny, it’s just so simple and brilliant that I can’t believe it hasn’t been done before. Some times, it’s the simple things in life that make getting out of bed in the morning worth it. This porno title is one of those simple things.

Crock Of Love: Crock of Love deserves a spot on this list because by simply adding a single letter, Kick Ass has basically summed up the Bret Michael’s train wreck they are spoofing. Besides having a brilliant name, I appreciate that they classed up the reality show a little and think Evan Stone is pretty awesome in it. Definitely worth a watch!

It Forces It On The Education Minded Mother: I love this one for two reasons. First, whenever a new movie is added to this series, it reminds me to go check out engrish.com and that site is still hilarious all these years later. Secondly, I think back to my friend impersonating the killer from Silence of the Lambs every time she borrowed my lotion after basketball practice. This took place about 5 days a week for 4 years and never stopped being funny. “It puts the lotion in the basket…”

The Three Tenners: This is another one I can’t believe no one thought of until now! Despite the totally non-sexy imagery I associate with the real three tenors, I have this one on my must watch list because who doesn’t want to check out three super hung studs fucking?? I would like to see a whole series of opera themed porn and have to believe homos would eat it up. It would be like softball themed lesbian porn… a guaranteed blockbuster!

-The Porn Librarian

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